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Wednesday, 22 November 2023

My opinion on what was missing with Nathan Chasing Horse's Yuwipi Ceremonies

 A Dakota Conjuring Ceremony Wesley R. Hurt, JR., and James H. Howard Vol. 8., 1952., Southwestern Journal of Anthropology, Volume 8, Number 3. 


An elder leader prepares the room with people waiting for the Healer to enter


The elder leader with the help of assistants help bind hands and fingers behind the Healer



The Healer stands showing the people his/her hands are bound.


The Elder Leader with the help assistants wraps a Starblanket around the Healer

The Healer is bound with rawhide rope wrapped around the Starblanket

The Healer is placed facing up with hand bound behind him/her. The Elder Leader proceeds to sing with the help of his assistants.

When the singers are done singing and the questions are asked and completed by the person who hosting the Yuwipi Ceremony, the are turned on to reveal the Healer is unwrapped.

The following Article is a description of an Yuwipi Ceremony from 71 years ago. The highlights are my personal experience with such ceremonies that Nathan Chasing Horse conducted. Even as far back as 81 years ago rumors of people using these ceremonies for their own personal gain were reported.

A
Dakota Conjuring Ceremony Wesley R. Hurt, JR., and James H. Howard Vol. 8., 1952

AMONG several highly acculturated American Indian groups there appears the tendency for institutions concerned with native medical practices to linger after many basic features of their culture such as economic institutions, material culture, and forms of social organization, such as clans, have virtually disappeared or have been very much modified. A present-day Dakota conjuring ceremony, Yuwipi, (ceremony of binding a medicine man performed for purposes of finding lost objects or cause of sickness, the medicine man is untied by spirits.) curing diseases and locating lost or stolen objects, furnishes an example. (Yuwipi sounds out - You- We-Pee) My understanding of the Yuwipi within my late mother’s people, Sioux Valley, Manitoba. She would tell me about her grandmother going to a ceremony were puppy soup was eaten. As talking or taking part in any basic features of our culture was criminalized, so not much was talked about amongst adults to their children. This is of my opinion.)

Another example can be found in Redfield's account of the medical practices surviving in highly acculturated Tepozlan.' Likewise, the Wisconsin Oneida, though having lost almost all of their aboriginal social and religious institutions, retain a false-face medicine man and use several native herb medicines. (When I was a child, I would collect medicinal herbs with my late mother. My mother used herbs to heal burn wound of mine. My grandmother also used herbs. I remember my mother’s father; my grandfather, he’s hung medicine pouches in his granaries to ward of bad spirits from spoiling his crops.)

Some of the Tiwa and Mexican Indians of Tortugas village, south of Las Cruces, New Mexico, follow certain native medical practices. While it is not the purpose of this paper to explain the long life of native medical customs, an obvious answer is that the services of the modern physician are not yet readily available to all native groups. (When my late mother was fifteen her mother died. She died from cancer. My mother remembered how thin and in how much pain my grandmother experienced. There was no morphine or doctors to help her relieve my grandmother’s pain. A medicine woman was brought in to help. It’s from this experience and the witnessing my mother experienced as she watched her mother die that I believe in was taught to believe in Wakan Tanka, the Creator.) In addition, even when a physician is available, the medicine man is called upon and is able to effect cures. This seems to be especially true in the case of psychosomatic illness. (My grandmother was not cured of her cancer; however, I would not call the relief she received for her pain management was psychosomatic.  Forensic psychologists would say I was insane for believing my mother’s story or what my mother’s experience was a result of grief and was delusional. I know when people heard my mother’s story, they were sceptical, but my mother didn’t sense their skepticism like I observed from those who listened without hearing what she was saying.)

The Dakota Yuwipi rite is a variant of a ceremony, widespread in northern North America, called the "Conjuring Complex" by Ray and the "Shaking Tent Rite" by Cooper. The rite involves the "calling of spirits" by supernatural means and usually features the shaman demonstrating his prowess and contact with the mystic powers by freeing himself of tightly tied bonds. (I’ve heard it called the Night Ceremony) The Dakota ceremony is basically native in origin although a few Christian elements have been added in recent years by some of the leaders. (Understand this from the stories of my grandfather, who if he lived today would be 120 years old. He raised his children teaching them that these ceremonies were not good anymore cause of the Christian elements that were being incorporated into by his people. My late uncle, if he were alive today would be 97 years old, he was a lay minister for the Anglican Church. It is of my opinion, that since the Canadian government made such Yuwipi ceremonies illegal that it was the matriarchs that kept these practices going, as they were preformed in secret. If a man were caught doing these ceremonies he would be jailed, imprisoned, but not the women. Agan, this is of my opinion. I believe they had to have Christian elements to appease Christian converts within the tribes.)

The Yuwipi ceremony of the Dakota has been somewhat neglected in the literature, although brief accounts of it, or of similar ceremonies, have been written by several students of Dakota culture. Lynd describes a Yuwipi type ceremony of the Yankton, Sisseton, and Mdewakanton Dakota, and Pond describes one for the "Eastern Dakota." Densmore also describes ceremonies of the Yuwipi type for the Standing Rock Dakota (Teton and Yanktonai). MacGregor gives a brief account of Yuwipi as performed by the Pine Ridge Teton Dakota, and is the only author to describe it under the term Yuwipi. He states that it is "the only continuing cult of the old religion." It thus appears that at one time or another all seven division of the Dakota tribe have possessed some form of the Yuwipi rite, although at present shamans are apparently found only among the members of the Teton division, living on the Pine Ridge and Rosebud Reservations in South Dakota. The Teton Dakota are probably the most conservative of any of the seven divisions of the Dakota tribe at the present time. (The appropriate name for the Sioux is the People of the Seven Council Fires (Oceti Sakowin Oyate). They speak one of the three dialects of the same language, Siouan. Within the Oceti Sakowin are seven bands: Wahpekute, Sistonwan, Ihanktown, Ihanktowana, Tetonwan, Wahpetonwan, and Mdewankanton. There are now various groups who descend from the original seven and maintain autonomy over the governing of their oyate (tribe).)

Eyewitness accounts of Dakota Yuwipi ceremonies have been secured from eight Dakota, one Arikara, one person of mixed Mandan-Hidatsa-White descent, and another of Mandan-Arikara- White descent. Additional details have been secured from several White and Indian informants. By a comparison of these accounts with one another and with those in the literature a fairly complete picture of the Dakota Yuwipi ceremony is obtained. It should be realized, however, that there was, and still is, a certain amount of variation in the rite as led by different leaders.

The word Yuwipi in the Dakota language apparently means "wrapped." It is not listed by Riggs in his Dakota-English Dictionary but the verb yuwi, meaning "to wrap" is listed by Williamson in his English-Dakota Dictionary."

It ostensibly refers to the wrapping and binding of the Wapiye (Healer),(Healer, traditional healer) or shaman, in a blanket.

The ceremony is given to locate lost or stolen objects and to cure the sick. It is of a somewhat secret nature, and unbelievers and strangers are not welcomed. Those who are allowed to observe the ceremony are warned against skepticism. (I was raised that these ceremonies are very powerful and that entering such ceremonies requires a total investment to the healer’s abilities. There must be no skepticism of the healer’s power. It was for this reason why when attending NCH’s ceremonies not once did, I ever offer him tobacco. The consequences of offering him tobacco meant I did not believe in his powers. He knew I didn’t trust him from the very beginning; however, he couldn’t refuse me attending as I was instrumental in finding financial assistants from him and his followers) Meaning If a person wished the Yuwipi ceremony to be performed, it was formerly the custom to approach the Wapiye (Healer) healer with a pipe. If this pipe were accepted and smoked, a feast was prepared as the preliminary to the ceremonial. (Today, we give tobacco rather than a pipe to smoke to the healer. I believe its why so many people today think having a pipe makes them approachable to a healer, as so many today want a pipe at any cost. Understanding that this article was written 71 years ago with the last ceremony documented 81 prior. Fragments of the tradition are just that fragments. For most healers today, a small gift of tobacco is given for the healer’s services and should not be anymore than that.) At the present time the use of the pipe is sometimes dispensed with. It is the custom after the rite to give presents to the Wapiye (Healer) for his services. Little Warrior was given a horse, food, and clothing after a performance he led at Pine Ridge about ten years ago. Albert Six Feathers, a Dakota from Martin, South Dakota, stated that "after four nights" a horse would be the proper fee for a Wapiye (Healer)'s services. This may indicate that the ceremony is customarily performed in cycles of four as is sometimes the case in peyote doctoring. (In the case of NCH’s ceremonies, one ceremony for each client was given for those to could invite as many peoples as possible as he or she wished. 71 years ago these ceremonies were closed. It was this client who offered the tobacco to NCH who used his pipe to smoke with his client and the invitees. The client did not have a pipe of their own, so NCH used his. Understanding that it skepticism of the client that is not tolerated and not the invitees. Today, NCH’s ceremonies are not a four-day cycle and this was never was never customary for him. The only time I saw him do a four-day cycle was during his Sundance in Wolf’s Point, Montana USA. Today, our four-day cycle ceremonies are held in combination with Christian elements during funerals. These practices are different and vary throughout each tribe. We light a fire on the day the person died until he or she is buried. Some have sweats on the first day of the death, others have yuwipi and others sing drum songs during the evenings with tobacco offerings for the visitor who come to pay their last respect to the decreased. We try to bury our dead within this four-day cycle.)

The Yuwipi ceremony is always held in a dark place, i.e. a dwelling with all the windows and cracks covered. Formerly a tipi was commonly used. No wires, ropes, or cords are permitted except those to be used in the ceremony. Rawhide ropes are preferred for binding the shaman (Wakhan Ieska – a spiritual interpreter, to be endowed with spiritual power, be sacred, holy, spiritual Yuwipi wichasta – medicine man who practices the yuwipi ceremony). Several hundred bags of tobacco are strung together, going around the inside of the house in front of the spectators, who are seated next to the wall. (These bags of tobacco are called tobacco ties with each bag having a different color with different sequences arranged inches apart tied together in one long string.) The men sit cross-legged on the floor; the position of the women is not important. (NCH’s ceremonies were held in the dark with no light coming through any spaces. Everything was checked to make sure no light entered.)

There are four flags or "drapes," one in each corner of the room. These are colored red, white, yellow, and black. Wallace Walking Bull, a Dakota informant from White River, South Dakota, stated that they represent the four winds (directions). Thomas Goodall, an Arikara, stated, however, that a Dakota leader had informed him that they represented "the four great races of mankind": the American Indian, Caucasian, Mongolian, and Negro. The latter interpretation may be an individual variant received in a dream by the Dakota leader. Flags were not used in all the ceremonies described to the authors. (NCH’s ceremonies had four flags as described here 71 years ago)

Walking Bull mentioned an altar or "sacred place" of yellow sand, encircled by a line of "smokes," but this feature is not mentioned by other informants nor in the literature. The Wapiye (Healer) draws the face of the "spirit" on this sand in small dots, according to this informant. On each side of this altar are "nests" of sage in which two wamnuha (Grourd Rattle) or sacred gourd rattles are placed. The Wapiye (Healer) healer has a bed of sage on which to lie. Gifts to the spirits, which disappear during the ceremony, are placed about this area. Four singers are seated in the one corner. They accompany their singing with small hand drums. (Before my mother was dressed for burial, I washed her corpus with sage water and when my mother was placed in her coffin, I placed a bed of sage for her body to lie. As her coffin was carried throughout the burial ceremony, her grandsons, her pallbearers walked onto of a spray of sage wherever her coffin went, right up until her body was placed in the ground. A spray of sage was thrown into the grave. Her grandsons sang with their small hand drums. These were the instruction given to me by a Healer. Understand this, this healer did not know about the gift my mother was given when she was a child by my great-grandmother. My great-grandmother took my mom to many ceremonies and gifted her an eagle-staff symbolizing the transfer of her gifts to her granddaughter, my mom. My mom shortly after was taken away from her family and lived the next sixteen years in an Indian Residential School. I am forever grateful for this healer who saw who my late mother’s gifts were. Throughout her life my mother was afraid of non-indigenous people, white privileged people. I told her that I would be with her every time she entered the hospital, and I told the doctors I was staying with her cause of her fear of them. It triggers me to think of what she experienced to cause such fear throughout her entire life.)

Diagram insert from my sketches that not as detailed as described here. The Yuwipi ceremony of Little Warrior (Kyle, South Dakota, 1940). 1, Shaman (Wapiye (Healer)); 2, medicine bag of wapíye; 3, rattles; 4, calumet pipe; 5, helper's drum; 6, helper;7, members of audience; 8, tobacco pouches.

Little Warrior, of Kyle, South Dakota, used a variation of this arrangement at a ceremony which he led in 1940. He sat in the center of a room facing westward toward a single assistant who sat beside the wall. The assistant placed a drum in front of his feet and further forward a calumet pipe oriented north and south. Little Warrior placed his medicine bag to his left and built a small altar in front of his feet. First, he made a square border of a series of small stick about the size of clothespins. The center of this altar was filled with a matting of sage brush twigs. On the matting were placed two rattles with their handles toward Little Warrior. (NCH built a small alter in front of his feet. There was sage, rattles, and his pipe place on this small alter with round shaped rocks on either side of the alter. I am sure that the variety of what was placed and used by NCH changed for each client.)

First the Wapiye (Healer) healer makes a speech, telling the reason for holding the ceremony and asking that everyone present concentrate on this purpose. He warns unbelievers that their presence may bring evil consequences. (For me, this reasoning of bringing evil consequences meant to those who offered NCH the tobacco, must truly believe in the power of their prayers, and not his. Since I didn’t offer NCH any tobacco in this manner was my way of respecting Creator, no matter what the outcome of the client’s request.) No one may leave once the ceremony has begun. According to Six Feathers, during this speech the Wapiye (Healer) acknowledges his inferiority to Christ. The Wapiye (Healer) is then wrapped in a blanket, quilt, or a piece of canvas and thoroughly bound in several feet of rawhide or hemp rope. All accounts of the ceremony describe the thoroughness with which this binding is done. Some accounts mention that even the individual fingers and toes are bound together. (In NCH’s case, his fingers were individually bound together.)

The leader then sings songs addressed to the spirits, and perhaps his own dream songs as well. He calls to the spirits for assistance in achieving the desired purpose of the ceremony. Ceremonial "crying" of the type which occurs in the Sun Dance and during ritual fasting also occurs here. The Wapiye (Healer) is then laid, face down, upon the bed of sage. At this point all of the lights in the cabin are extinguished. (In NCH’s case, there was no leader who sand any songs prior to NCH being bound with rawhide.)

The four assistants then begin to sing, accompanying themselves with hand drums. (In NCH’s case there were only three assistants. The songs used are called Taku Wakhan Odowan (something sacred’s songs) and are known to only a few individuals. With the first song, ideally, small blue or green lights resembling electric sparks appear. These lights are said to be caused by inyan wasicu, (spirit stone) or holy stones, knocking together. These stones, small, usually round rocks, are considered to be the embodiments of spirits. Although they are termed inyan wasicu generically, they all seem to have specific names. These stones enter the room, often by way of the stovepipe, and fly about. Sometimes each one falls to the floor in turn with a heavy thud, thus enabling the spectators to count their number. (My understanding in what I witnessed in terms of trickly, were sparks appearing around where the tobacco ties lie. This is from the account of his helpers who later left his cult. A round rock that NCH brought with him rolled across the floor, but I believe the floor was uneven. I never saw the sparks; however, those closest to the tobacco ties reported seeing sparks and sounds. I believe they may have inhaled cannabis or hashish.)

Next, the gourd rattles are heard to stand up in their "nests" and dance, and soon are dancing about the room. They keep strict time with the drums all the while. Sometimes the drums are levitated as well and continue beating from up near the ceiling. According to Six Feathers and his wife this portion of the ceremony may last an hour or more, depending upon the seriousness of the occasion. Six Feathers stated that the "spirits" bring the gourd rattles and rub them on the body of the sick person, thereby removing the pain from the afflicted part. (From the six ceremonies I attended, my niece who was eight years old at the time, had a rattle hit in the head. I believe NCH did this, as prior to the ceremony he seemed annoyed with her. In hindsight, I believe this was his propensity for girls that aroused him not her fidgeting. Again, this is my opinion.)

The spirits, as manifested by the flying sparks or stones, are addressed by the wapiye, (Healer) who calls them by the ceremonial term thunkásida, or grandfather. He asks, if the meeting has been given for a sick person, what the cause of the disease is, and where a medicine for it may be found. If the ceremony is being given to recover a lost or stolen object, he asks where this object is. The spirits reveal this desired information to the Wapiye (Healer) in an archaic, rapid, speech, which is  incomprehensible to anyone else. (The rapid speech of the spirits was not heard by me; however, again those closest to the smudge cans did report hearing a high-pitched sound. In my opinion again, as I was furthest away from this alter I was not drugged or induced to see or hear such sparks or sounds. People may say I went into these ceremonies a skeptic; however, I did not. I totally understood the consequences of giving tobacco. As I didn’t offer NCH tobacco the said contact with him and the Creator & NCH’s client was between them alone and not with me, an observer.)

Sometimes persons other than the Wapiye (Healer) receive advice from the spirits. If this occurs the Wapiye (Healer) informs the person to be so visited beforehand, and this person then offers tobacco to the spirit. A Hidatsa woman reported having been visited by the spirit of her deceased sister during this portion of the ceremony. (Understand that many people who developed a distrust to therapeutic practices may only trust an intuitive individual. Modern therapeutic practices will use intuitive method to make their clients feel comfortable rather than alienating them for the values and beliefs. I use intuitive method to make people feel comfortable around me.)

After this episode the lights are again put on. The Wapiye (Healer), who was so tightly bound, is now seen to be standing in the center of the floor, completely free of his bonds, which have supposedly been untied by the spirits in the darkness. The ropes which bound him and the blanket in which he was wrapped are neatly rolled into tight balls. The knots have not been untied. (This is what happened in NCH’s ceremonies. Again, reported by his assistant that they performed trickly and assisted him in freeing him from his bindings. Again, this is of my opinion.)

The Wapiye (Healer) then reveals what the spirits have told him, either concerning the nature of the ill person's disease and where to find the correct medicine, or the location of a lost or stolen object. If the spirits have visited some of the spectators, they also tell what they have learned at this point. In some cases, one of the small round "spirit stones" remains with the Wapiye (Healer) and is given to the sick person to carry home with him. This stone predicts coming events for the owner. In certain instances, herbs may be given to the sick person. (NCH from my observation never came anything away freely like any of his rocks or medicines he used in ceremony. When he was tied up he told his client in front of everyone witnessing this ceremony what the spirits were saying, but not once did I hear him ask the witnesses or his client’s family or friends what they learned. Questions were asked, but nothing was directed in finding lost objects or what or where to find medicine. I would explain to witnesses that it fine to participate in ceremonies finding alternative methods of healing; however, I also advised them to continue with what medicines they were already using. Nevertheless, people did not listen to what I understood. As within these ceremonies, and not outside these ceremonies are these conversations to happen. What NCH did was listen to what people talked about with each other outside of ceremony that for me was totally inappropriate. In my opinion, it was his way of learning their weaknesses and their strengths. From these moments afterwards that he would appear sexually frustrated listening and would immediately leave. In hindsight, little did I know what he could do to children.)

According to Six Feathers a pipe is passed around after the lights are put on again, but Walking Bull states that this is done only in meetings led by older leaders, and that younger Wapiye (Healer) do not require this feature. (Again, there were no older leaders who lead the songs nor were there any to pass around the pipe. Only NCH non-indigenous assistance sat watching as the client lit the pipe and passed it around. In this ceremony, the client is not the leader as he or she is the individual who needs healing or helping in finding a lost object. A young Wapiye like NCH is not required to light a pipe rather an older leader. I was wondered why my late mother didn’t feel comfortable around NCH. She probably saw how disrespectful he was around older people like myself and her. Understand this, my mother is she were still living would be 96 years old. She was 79 years old when she met NCH and she was raised around Dakota leaders who knew these songs and ways.)

At the close of the meeting food is eaten after having been blessed by the Wapiye (Healer). This feast consists of dog, wild peppermint tea, and "fry bread," with possibly other foods, such as wild cherry pudding, added occasionally. The dog used is painted with wase, or native paint, from the tip of its nose to the end of its tail. It must be killed by being strangled with a rope pulled around its neck. Its mouth is tied shut to keep it from howling. The hair is singed off and the meat cut up and boiled. The head, tail, and feet are not used. Of the entrails only the liver is eaten. (As I was growing up other indigenous people would make fun of me identifying a Dakota Sioux and would call me ‘Dog eater! Little did they know that dog was only eaten after a Yuwipi ceremony was completed. My mother told me about a puppy she had as a child that went missing. It was after her grandmother returned from Yuwipi ceremony that she was told this puppy was fatten up and kept healthy for ceremonial purposes only. Understand this again, I say. These practices were outlawed. If a man was caught practicing these ceremonies he would be jailed or imprisoned; however, its our Dakota, Lakota and Nakota women, the matriarchs, who kept these ceremonies going. They were never suspected as conducting such ceremonies in secret. My great-grandmother made sure my mother attended ceremonies. )

Macgregor states that an older member of the Yuwipi cult mentioned that the worshippers believed in the Sun and the Daylight--that is Wakan, our god (the chief god). Then we worship Darkness (the creator god); that is why we sit in darkness in the tepee at a Yuwipi ceremony. The women think of sexual things and later they go home with their men. That is creative; that is not bad; the Darkness is holy. (When I think of all the healing properties of our ceremonies in healing trauma. I think about ‘sex addiction.’ This form of addiction is as old as time itself. Just as in modern time when people deal with alcohol and drug addiction, it’s this adrenaline and hormonal sexual rush that is more addictive than alcohol and drugs combined. These Yuwipi ceremonies deal with grief, isolation and depression. These are the key triggers in relapse and recovery of any addiction. Being intuitive in a ceremonial practice was not barbaric or hedonistic. It’s found that the sounds and the frequencies of movement and sound helps restructure the traumatic brain. It    is a terrible flaw of NCH’s own childhood trauma and that of his family. A healer must create a safe, protect and healing environment. I hope people understand the healing practice of indigenous peoples is good when combined with the rest of humanity.)  Then, there is a rock (the executive god). The leaders have a little bundle of sticks in their hand when they are tied up and a blanket is thrown over them. The rocks make sparks and lightning shoots all over the tepee. The Rock is hard and steadfast and that is what our faith must be. It is like the earth. Then there is Wakinyan or Heyoka (an associate god). It flashes through the sky, and storms come, and strong winds, and floods that wash away the soil. The Yuwipi people say that it is cleansing them and cleansing the earth. Wakan washes away everything and makes everything clean and new. (My great-grandmother was blind in her later years and would request the help of my mother. Who was a child. My great-grandmother never missed a day of going outside and praying in all the sacred directions with her woman’s pipe. She’d says to my mom, ‘granddaughter, what does the sky look like? If it was cloudy or clear or it there was a sign of storm coming. My grandfather respected the Wakinyan and was fearful every time there was lightning. My grandfather was a great farmer. These were the ways of those that came before me. The government took my mother away from her people because they thought we were savages.)

As noted above there is a certain sexual element in the Yuwipi ceremony. Black Elk, the famous medicine man (the subject of Neihardt's book Black Elk Speaks) is said to have been a Wapiye (Healer) famous for making "love medicine" in the Yuwipi ceremonial. (As in the behavior of Limerence, this deep infatuation or beyond infatuation is stemming from childhood trauma and this sexual element is called ‘love medicine.’ Understanding the energy we hold and we walk with this energy, is our individual responsibility. It’s a difficult path to be honest about one’s feelings for another human being; however, this ‘love medicine’ is in every culture, in every human being. It’s up to each of us to acknowledge this energy and in doing so we are honoring those who came before us. So many times I didn’t understand why my late mother found A-alon’s 12 step-program so helpful. As in these modern times, there are now 12 step programs in Limerence, or sex addiction. And, I don’t mean everyone goes around looking for a sexual partner to have intercourse. It means everyone goes around when they are triggered. They are triggered into seeking acceptance and validation. The more one practicing illuminating this self-defeating behavior the quickly one recovers from it. They say 10,000 hours of practice make one a master of any discipline. I can say I’ve done my 10,000 hour and more.)

According to Walking Bull, not all Yuwipi men unbind themselves in the darkness. Some have a committee which does this afterwards. This seems to indicate that the prowess of the Wapiye (Healer) in divesting himself of his bonds is merely a secondary feature of the Dakota rite, the calling of the spirits being the prime feature. Sometimes this calling of the spirits is not successful. (As in NCH, all of his ‘calling of the spirits’ was successful only because in my opinion, it held to do with money. The more he appeared to communicate with the spirits the more pleased his clients appeared. In my opinion, He never once admitted he ever failed to call the spirits.)

Sometimes children may be allowed to attend the ceremony. No person with a contagious disease is permitted inside. No dogs are allowed. (I saw how NCH despised dogs. In traditional times, as a healer he would be required to eat dog and so would his followers. Now, I ask you to think about it.) Persons who are skeptical are not welcomed. A Wapiye (Healer) is said to know exactly who is sincere and who is not. Once a Wapiye (Healer) knew that a certain man had to urinate and told him that he should not have come in. In another case a Wapiye (Healer), bound within a darkened tipi, informed a youth who was peeping under the edge of the tipi covering that he was aware of the youth's presence and that he must leave. At Kyle, South Dakota, during a ceremony, Little Warrior freed himself of his bonds and while the room was still darkened, threw the blanket upon a skeptical visitor. This person later stated that this had nearly frightened him to death. At another rite held near Pine Ridge, South Dakota, the Wapiye (Healer) halted the ceremony and stated that they would have to close it for a devil was coming. In a few minutes a car-load of drunken Indians arrived, confirming the shaman's prediction. (Again, not once did I every see NCH expel a witness, observer or a client from his ceremonies. I do know used threats of control over those he wanted to manipulate into thinking they were skeptics they didn’t obey him.)

Leonard Eagle, a youth of Mandan-Hidatsa and White descent, described attending a ceremony with a group of young men who were quite skeptical. When the gourds began flying about the room one paused, rattling loudly, before one of Eagle's companions. The companion asked him, "Should I hit it?" whereupon he struck the gourd with his fist. The gourd flew to the other side of the room, only to return and strike the youth several times around the face. "It really raised hell with him!" commented Eagle. (a Lakota friend, was brought into a Yuwipi ceremony by his grandmother. He said a rattle head him in the head. He said he reach above his head and grabbed the hand that held that rattle. He said he felt a ring on that hand and held onto to it so tight it came off. It was after the ceremony that his grandmother asks him for her ring back. She said that was suppose to grab at her. I know she probably was trying to teach him a lesson that he was safe, secure and protected in this ceremony with her, but for a child he didn’t understand.)

According to the older custom a man received instructions for becoming a Yuwipi leader in a vision. Thomas Goodall, an Arikara, stated that Black Thunder, a famous Dakota Wapiye (Healer), had received his power and the directions for running a Yuwipi ceremony only after a long period of fasting in the hills. (NCH said he fasted for four days and for four nights and then was brought down from Bear Butt to preform the Yuwipi as a teenager. Again, he didn’t go for a long period like this older person. In my opinion, I think his parents pushed him into this position for the sake of making money as NCH had already appeared in, “Dances with Wolves.”)

Densmore records a shaman of the Yuwipi type receiving power after falling from his horse head first into a pile of stones. The man was unconscious for nearly an entire day. Upon recovering he announced that all rocks and stones were “people turned to stone." (Many spiritual people go through some profound change in their life that takes them off the path they previous set out for themselves, never ever dreaming of becoming a spiritual person with gifts to help others.)

Apparently, a vision is not necessary at the present time. Black Elk, a Pine Ridge informant, claims that several of the present-day shamans have dispensed with these preliminaries. Walking Bull also stated that at present anyone who desired to practice the Yuwipi rite might do so. Although the position of the Wapiye (Healer) was not hereditary, apparently there is a tendency for a member of the same family to supplant a shaman at his death. After Little Warrior died at Kyle about a year ago, his son-in-law, White Wing, went on a vision quest and then took his place as the local Wapiye (Healer). (As in my later mother’s case, she was to inherit her grandmother’s rite, but was taken away to be raised in an Indian Residential School until she was sixteen years old. My mother was only five years old when she was taken. She would come home during summer breaks.)

Apparently, requests were sometimes made of the sacred stones, as Densmore notes that Sitting Bull, the Hunkpapa leader, offered a bison robe to the stones and asked to be made famous.

According to George Metcalf, the Dakota believe that the use of the Yuwipi rite is dangerous to the Wapiye (Healer). He states that the feeling is "Every time the power is used, the less the defense of the Wapiye (Healer) against this power." Bill Ginais, a mixed-blood Teton, gave up the practice because he considered it too dangerous. (In my opinion, some people call this karma. Whatever the behavior an individual is having difficulties manging, it manifests itself. It like the aging brain. The filters within the brain become thin and everything is exposed.)

Most of the Yuwipi men now practicing come from either the Pine Ridge or Rosebud reservations in South Dakota. These are the two most conservative of all the Dakota reservations. Well-known leaders are often called to distant reservations to conduct the ceremony. There are several Wapiye (Healer) still practicing, with a concentration around Kyle, South Dakota. Since some of the practitioners are young and middle-aged men, the institution seems destined to survive for some time. Furthermore, some of the younger Dakota still have the ceremony performed for sickness and the recovery of lost articles. A young Dakota girl had the ceremony performed for her sick mother near Pine Ridge in 1940. A Dakota college student stated that he believes the institution will survive for quite a while because it is a profitable business for the practitioners, and he has heard of several Dakota who are planning to become Wapiye (Healer) for mercenary reasons. Another Dakota college student stated that if the Whites have the Christian Science religion, why be surprised when some of the Dakota have their Yuwipi, especially when cures are affected. (I know in this article is calls these practitioners mercenaries. And, in some ways they are, do remember. The majority of Native Americans lived to be in their mid-forties because of the lack of health care and proper nutrition. When NCH was in the movie, the average income was $3,000.00 per year. From reports, his parents were living in poverty. They were teen parents too. I could see why they would manipulate their son. Just as women gave up their teen daughter to NCH, in my opinion, NCH’s parents did the same thing. I see lateral violence.)

There is apparently no conflict in the mind of the Wapiye (Healer) himself, or his audience, between the practice of the ceremony and the following of the Christian religion. Three examples of men being Yuwipi leaders while at the same time maintaining membership in the Roman Catholic church are reported. Two of the men were ordered to stop on the penalty of excommunication, while the other was whipped with a quirt for practicing the rite. (For decades, my late mother and myself supported my brother. We supported in the sweat and Sundance’s he attended. We did this encouraging to live a sober clean life. When I tell my cousins about what happened 17 years ago, they say ‘oh you turned Indian!’ This is I reply. With addictions being so high today as it was back in the 70’s, we would do anything to support a sober lifestyle for anyone who asked. Understand, prior to the 70’s indigenous people in Canda were not allowed to drink alcohol or buy alcohol over vote. Only after when the government knew what was happening in those Indian Residential School did they pass legislation hoping they could pass the ‘white paper’ without us knowing what it meant. From here on in, the prison system has risen with indigenous people. So tell me again, who determines who lives and who dies?)

If the Yuwipi ceremony, as now practiced by the Dakota, is compared with the tent-shaking complex of the northern Algonquin tribes as described by Ray, Cooper, Flannery, and others, it is noted that the Dakota lack a fundamental trait, the shaking of the tent when the spirits enter. Several other western tribes also lack this element in their conjuring ceremonies, for example the Colville of Washington and the Mandan of North Dakota. Yet Pond mentions the tent-shaking trait in a Yuwipi type ceremony of the Eastern Dakota. As the Yuwipi ceremony is now often held in a house rather than a tent, it is possible that we have here the reason for the absence of this trait. Ray has mentioned this possibility in explaining the lack of tent-shaking among the Colville. Since the Mandan usually lived in substantial earth lodges except when on the hunt, their type of architecture could well explain the absence of the same trait.

The binding of the shaman, another basic and widespread element of the tent-shaking complex is found among the Dakota. This trait is found among a large number of Plains, Plateau, and Woodland tribes, such as the Cheyenne, Blackfoot, Assiniboin, Plains Cree, Atsina, Kutenai, Cree, Ojibwa, Montagnais, and Naskapi. It is also found among the Central Eskimo. Cooper has outlined the traits of two contrasting tent-shaking complexes. In the western division the Dakota share with the Atsina, the Blackfoot, and the Assiniboin, the

"Houdini" trick (loosening of bonds) and the dog-feast. The Dakota shares with the eastern division including the Cree, Ojibwa, and Montagnais--the "calling of spirits" rather than the invoking of human ghosts. Collier has noted that the Kiowa also invoke the dead rather than supernatural or animal spirits.

The Dakota shares the following traits with both of the tent-shaking complexes described by Cooper: ‘no trance or ecstasy by the performer, and performers not of psychopathic personality as such; spirits summoned primarily to obtain knowledge through them, chiefly knowledge on practical problems; absence of direct participation of Supreme Being in rite; rite as such concerned with personal beings, not with impersonal forces, and thus a religious, not a magical rite.’

Some of the other features of the Yuwipi are shared by one or more tribes. Thus, conjuring is practiced for curing among the Ojibwa of Minnesota, the Mandan, the Atsina, and the Ojibwa of Parry Island. The Assiniboin and the Atsina, as did the Dakota, wrapped the shaman in a blanket. The obtaining of power by vision is found among the Parry Island Ojibwa and the Mandan.

Although a detailed tribe by tribe distribution study of the traits connected with the tent-shaking complex has not been made, the Yuwipi rite of the Dakota appears to be close to an intermediate position between the Plains tribes such as the Atsina, Blackfoot, and Cheyenne, and the northern Woodland peoples such as the Cree, Ojibwa, and Montagnais. Such a conclusion should be no cause for surprise considering the intermediate geographic position of the Dakota.

In summary, it is observed that the present-day Yuwipi ceremony of the Dakota is an example of a widespread conjuring complex of the Plains, Woodland, and Plateau areas, commonly referred to as the "shaking-tent rite." As practiced in recent years it differs from the classic complex in the lack of the tent-shaking trait. Among the Dakota the conjuring ritual is performed for curing illness and the finding of lost and stolen articles. If a comparison is made of the traits in the Dakota rite and those of the Plains and northern Algonquin complexes described by Cooper, it is noted that the Dakota Yuwipi ceremony occupies an intermediate position. The Yuwipi ceremony has continued to the present among the Teton Dakota. Since participants in the ritual still include younger and middle-aged Indians it seems likely to continue for some time. Several reasons may explain its survival. Many Dakota are still not convinced that our medical practitioners are capable of curing all types of disease, while to others physicians are not readily available. In certain instances, cures are reported by Yuwipi leaders. This may be particularly true in the case of psychosomatic illnesses. Although not confirmed by the majority of native informants, certain of the Wapiye (Healer) apparently continue their practice purely for mercenary reasons. (As in the case of NCH, his primary reason was to have money and control over others with his money and influence. I hope you all understand that this article was written 71 years ago. Understand that my grandfather knew these practices were not good anymore because of these so-called mercenary reasons. Our people went through genocide. We helped each other heal for centuries. This conversion to a Christian element really destroyed our cultural practices. It’s only now after many indigenous people become educated and are sharing our understanding of honoring those that came before means knowing Creator’s will is being done constantly.)









Saturday, 18 November 2023

About four years ago a Holy Man or so his followers called him came into my community. She told me this man; I will call him NCH slept with her. She was fifteen at the time. My step-niece said he told her he loved her and that he didn’t have sex with his other girlfriends because he only had sex with her. It gets worse; he also had sex with three other fifteen year olds.  


2010 Holy Man, named NCH

 

 About four years ago a Holy Man, named NCH or so his followers called him 'Holy" came into my community, a First Nations called 'Tsuu tina.' 

She told me that this man I will call him NCH slept with her. She was fifteen at the time. She was my step-niece, who said he told her that he loved her and that he didn't have sex with his other girlfriends, because he only had sex with her. 

It got worse as the months went on; I learned later he also had sex with three other fifteen year old girls.

This disclosure took place in the spring of 2007. I met NCH in the fall of 2006 on the HBO movie set called, 'Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.' From the fall until the spring NCH came into my community preforming various spiritual ceremonies. By the summer of 2007, his followers from here were attending and participating in his 'Sundance' held in Wolf's Point, Montana. By the fall of 2007, he and his entourage were back in Tsuutina. It was here that I first saw his 8 year old apprentice, or so her mother claimed. 

As it was in the that summer prior to his Sundance that he attended the Sundance here where the mother of his apprentice attended. It was the first time I heard he was training a children to become like him. This child grew up travelling with him along with her mother until she was thirteen, by fourteen NCH SA this child. 

He was arrested in January of 2023 where he remains in custody until the Nevada Supreme Court determines his trail date. 








 

Text: About four years ago a Holy Man or so his followers called him came into my community. She told me this man; I will call him NCH slept with her. She was fifteen at the time. My step- niece said he told her he loved her and that he didn’t have sex with his other girlfriends because he only had sex with her. It gets worse; he also had sex with three other fifteen year olds.

Friday, 3 November 2023

She set us back an entire culture of people

Buffy Saint Marie not being indigenous. Her real name is Beverly Jean Santamaria. She thought decades ago about becoming indigenous & acted on these thoughts. She was never adopted. She was born in Massachusetts USA with Italian parents. 

Nathan Chasing Horse not being a Lakota Medicine Man. He’s thought of having sex with children decades a ago & acted on these thoughts. He was never accepted as a Medicine Man by his own reservation. He was born into environment of poverty with Lakota teenage parents. 

All this information on these two fakes are published in transcripts. They both brought shame on all those indigenous people; First Nations, Metis & Inuit. Indigenous people who I've known  who lived through hell in those indian residential schools, as if they had no voice & only theirs mattered. I am totally disgusted with them both.  Survivors of trauma deserve respect. I'm quoting a friend as it too is heart breaking for authentic indigenous people who were denied their status, denied their voice, denied their existence. What they've done is criminal exploitation of an entire culture of people!

With all their talent they didn't need an indigenous identity of; one being adopted into an indigenous family, the other adopting an genuine medicine man persona. So why did they do it? For Buffy St. Marie she's still saying she was adopted & evidence against her increasely grows against her. For Nathan Chasing Horse he's still saying he's innocent & evidence against him increasely grows against him. 

They both had many people believe their stories. Buffy St. Marie claiming she was adopted and that she didn't know who her parents were. She was raised by her natural Italian parents with a full blooded younger sister. Nathan Chasing Horse claiming he was a holy Lakota medicine man and that he was accepted as one by his reservation. He was raised by his biological Lakota parents & had so many children with so many women. 

I was thinking about these two fraudulent people thriving in our indigenous communities. These people were around greatness. These people having intimate relationships with greatness. Their choices in life are not revealed until the damaged created by their behaviour leads to their public exposure. These two fooled many for decades cause they surrounded themselves with the greatness that was not theirs. A greatness of those that came before us. A greatness that is carried within their honesty. 


Wednesday, 25 October 2023

child brides and eliminating self-defeating behaviors

 So much was taken from indigenous culture including our matriarchal ways of teaching healthy human being’s sexuality to our girls & our women. 

Listen to this historian talk about patriarchy from the world across the Ocean. Then, imagine what life was like for thousands of years prior to the influences of colonialism in the Americas.

I was delivered into this world by my grandmothers. My closest friend was a mid-wife. 

Intergenerational trauma is understanding the effects on each generation is important not just for indigenous people but the world. 

Promoting healthy human sexuality to women who were taught not to speak about sex or women who suppress their feelings scares people. My Limerence should not frighten men but most non-indigenous men are scared. They don't understand. 

In society there are so many men who seek to control women’s bodies. A child’s body isn't mature enough to experience childbirth let alone a healthy orgasm. Women all over this world know this, at least those who are mothers. The science of women is new & so female sexual response. 

My trauma crippled me not in a way that froze me emotionally. Read up on eliminating self-defeating behaviour to understand what takes to become responsible for our own human sexuality. 

Limerence needs support system in place. Awareness of support groups or individuals is important in establishing healthy relationships. A self-defeating thought is addictive in anyone whose trauma breeds fear. Focusing on someone whose is unobtainable distracts us from being present. 

We all know or seemingly gossip about someone who we say has ‘bad luck’ or ‘bad medicine’ in all their relationships. We easily get labeled as being strange or mental case we isolate ourselves. The older get the more aware I am of making myself available to meeting new people. 

In my youth, I didn't like boys or men who became limerent with me. I'd create my own gossip to remain limerent with a man so I would not be peer pressures into dating. Throughout my single life I've been blessed to attach myself to men who I could share my limerent behaviour with. At first, I didn't know what was limerence. Talking to a man I was in limerence took courage; however, as the layers of self-defeating behaviour started shedding its ugly head. The easier it became to understand relapse & recovery of limerence.

I was also fortunate to be around non-indigenous people who made fun of my limerence. As I got older it was even more insidious. I was perceived as wanting to date outside of my class or race. I was perceived as looking for someone to rescue me from my poverty. Today, I still find non-indigenous men scared of my limerent energy. I am also grateful for the respect I am paid by indigenous men I grew up with who call me, ‘sister!’

We all make mistakes cause we are human beings; however, my limerent energy stems from a matriarchal way of thinking. Something a colonial mindset fails to understand in their patriarchy. I think in the patriarchy of European descent people call women such as me, ‘witch.’ 

I am an indigenous woman of Dakota Sioux descent who was the ways of WHITE BUFFALO CALF WOMAN. 

I try to explain there are protocols in place. Our men are not immune to their own limitations with Limerence.

I am also including a video on recovery of limerence.

My biggest pet peeves in life and most consistent pet peeve is people who use historical ages and distort them to push their own agenda.  *Within most indigenous communities when an adult male sexually assaults a child it was acceptable. In most case the child would marry her perpetrator and continue to be abused throughout her life. This push for the perpetrators own agenda was supported by priests who taught women should obey their husbands. Understanding that most children were raised through generations in Indian Residential Schools were sexual assault or any form of sexual education was denied. My late mother told me when she first got pregnant, she thought she was going to have a litter of children like a dog having puppies. This is why I say these children were treated like animals and they were taught they were a subspecies of humans.) cause let me let you there has never been in the history of the western world and this man is of European descent so we’re going with the western world there has never been a single time in which has been socially acceptable for 40-year-old have sex with 14 year old. (Understanding the content of why it would be important for a child to grow up into adulthood within an indigenous community were children were considered HOLY BEINGS as in the Dakota, Nakota and Lakota cultures.

It just doesn't happen. It never happened. I Think a big reason that people believe it happened is because this notion that people drop dead that the day they turn 30 and that's just not true. (Indigenous people did not drop dead at 30 prior to genocidal activities that lasted 500 years. Indigenous peoples lived long lives.) In any part of History has not been true. Infancy has been the real big struggle and childbirth as well, which will get you in a moment. But infancy itself, If people survived infancy, they typically live to be about 60 to 70 years old with 1 and 10 living to be 80 plus years old. If we get in our time Machines of fly back to 16th century. You’ll see that women got back then very Similar to the age that they get married today, mid to late 20s. Ann Boleyn was 33 years old when she married Henry the Eighth. And that’s not to say that there weren’t child brides because there were child brides. You can find the entire list, going back to the 9ths century on Wikipedia of every child ride that's ever been notable but the catch is the child brides were typically marrying child grooms okay. They went marrying men in their 40s. Most that will marry men 21 to 25 years old, which still isn't great, but it's not 40, has never been 40. And on the very rare occasion that it was 40, they weren’t real marriages. There was no sex involved, and by the time that girl was 18 & 20 years old, because whatever conflict required them to be married in the first place had been resolved. Som there was no reason for them to be married anymore. You’d be Very, very, very hard pressed to find a single child bride who married a 40-year-old man with any offspring. It was their offspring because they were having sex and the reason for that, quite simply, was childbirth. A fifteen-year-old body even today because biology doesn’t change. is not prepared to give birth to a child. Its not built to give birth to a child.  And I know the pedophile argument if they got their period then they’re mature enough to give birth to a child. No, they are not. Eight-year-old gt their periods these days its got a lot to do with their weight. You are at a certain weight you start menstruating, that’s the way biology works. So, eight-year-olds these days are menstruating because of a higher weight and higher height.  That doesn’t mean that they’re ready to give birth. And a thirteen year old back then were not ready to give birth either. And nobody knew this better that people of the past. ( As I’ve said, know the people who came before you. My grandmothers knew and so did my late mother who had her first child at twenty-one years of age.)  People of the past knew this very well. They knew better than we know how deadly how deadly childbirth is. 40 year olds of te past we’re not going to get a 13 year old daughter of the Lord they want money from the farmer that they wan resources from Pregnant because that risks them dying as soon as that 13 year old dies in childbirth, whatever alliance that was suppose to be formed from that marriage is over. So, what they would do instead is that they had a nephew or a son who was similar to the girl they would get married instead. And that’s how the alliance would be formed. And the girls would go off to court training Which is typically from about the age of 12 for about 10 to 15 years, and boy would go up to where he was gonna do over its farming or not. So whatever it was whale fishing, he would go up and do that and then once careers were set in place, then they would come back and they would have offspring. And, that’s how you got here my friend (referring to the man who first said marry a child to a 40 year man was acceptable) Sorry to ruin you pedophile and wet dreams and no offense

With all the genocide that took place over the hundreds of years, and all that happened with murder and genocide within my culture of people not living long does not mean that this was normal. Because I was a product of home delivery, my grandmothers delivered me into this world. And the matriarchy knew. A child could not withstand childbirth. So this whole mythology of like it being traditional that you have? A child bride is just total fantasy. Structure of misogyny. That's just my opinion, but the reality of it is it still happening today, and peoples are still believing stories that men make up for their own. Wim or wet dreams.  thank you.



Hey. Just like I'm going to fantasy. It's like if you have a fantasy like four times a year for 10 minutes, OK, fine, have your fantasy. But if it starts to be where you can't have actual closeness with real people, there it is. Now. That's why Limerence exists, is to compensate for that inability to connect. So, the solution is, is to start working. On that ability to connect and I just highly recommend doing it with people who are super neutral and understanding for you. *This is not easy if your community is made up of people who are mostly Misogynists. Something taught by priest or religion demanding the woman obey her husband) I got so much help of Al-Anon. You know going to 12 step rooms where other people were working on stuff. They do not have the same issues as me but there were some who did and. Having friends who I could be connected to. In our community we have a bunch of people who are healing from limerence. They do the daily practice together. Or in our membership community there's like peer LED daily practice class three or four times a day but practice. And I don't mean to say that friends are just practice and then to be discarded or anything but. It's a little more neutral, not as charged, not as like. (I’ve mentioned Limerence in this blog to some extent. I’ve been fortunate to be guided to super neutral and understanding men wo helped in meaningful conversations around feelings that were leading into my being in Limerence with them. When I’ve reached out to friends they are amazed that I had the courage to expose my feelings especially when so many misogynistic would take advantage, as we see in #MMIWG2S) It's not going to lead to limerence. It's very unlikely too. And it's a way for you to learn to love when the right thing comes along. It doesn't disrupt your happiness; it doesn't disrupt your stability. It sort of comes in slowly and adds to it so you'll know it when it comes. You are now getting ready for that.

The reason I'm using this video is because like throughout the decades, I've taken psychology classes and different techniques of dealing with limerence. Most part its of self reflection looking at your own self-defeating behavior. So, if you're interested look at childhood fairy 1-13. Alot of her techniques are little different because they're not focusing on indigenous communities. Thinking many times when you're trying to practice healing from limerence, it's very unlikely that you will find a healthy person that you can trust. My late brother would encourage me to go out and meet people. With the constant stressor within Indigenous communities living in isolation, chronic stressors, chronic relief are contributing factors in developing and maintaining this self-defeating behavior called Limerence. After all, its your best friend who doesn’t gossip about you or is not jealous of your accomplishments. For me, I went to therapy, and I also took part and classes too. It is totally up to your skill set to look for in what's available in your community or your environment.  I hope this is helpful. Thank you.


Wednesday, 18 October 2023

 

Joe Buffalo, talks about his dad being sexually molested. He talks about the effects of Indian Residential School had on him. 250 kids crying. He could hear the spirits in the walls. "Whose going to protect me?" Yet, his parents had it worse. His story about a rough life being a wild child. I am posting this video for all those who believe they can not heal. We as indigenous people were taught 'white adjacency'is the ideal because we are worthless and invisible. We depend on others. We depend on those we do not know to come safe us. So many times I've seen my leaders buy 'medicine people' to come heal us. We do not look from within our own indigenous communties for our own healers. I post this video about Joe Buffalo. As I've written this blog discussing my own journey hoping to gain the respect of men towards indigenous women and indigenous girls. It's the strength of those trained indignous women. During times when I just feel like giving up. When I hear that I am 'black listed' within my own community. I am an elder here and yet the leadership do not like what I write within my blog. Joe Buffalo talks about directlng his energy towards his craft of skatebroading rather than directing towards drug addictions. He's speaking the truth about the impact of intergenerational truama has on all our indigenous or some called all First Nations communties. We continue to lose our youth. A generation is being lost. The money directed towards Truth and Reconciation is not making its way to the 'grassroots' people instead its going to those who were educated within a colonial system that is systemic. We are our own medicine. We are those sp'sirits that our ancestors prayed to help us heal. I've said this to my nephews. We do not need to pay so called 'plastic medicine people' we do not need indigenous adjacency. Those who get money because the are associated with thrid world people like me. Yes, whats happening in the middle east and the death and distruction happened to us at some point in our history. Those who are oppressed, whose who suffer from conflict understand. We may not be hidding from bombs or gun fire, we are still dying. Society shoses who lives and who dies. We must find the courage to continue healing. As my own people as with so many Frist Nations or indigenous people (whatever is acceptatble) are experiencing. Anytime we accpet money from the government or from within our own communities, we are slienced. I am heartbroken that the victims of Nathan Chasing Horse who live within my community refuse to talk about how they are healing. This video of Joe Buffalo is prove that healing is possible without shame or fear. I only wish and hope those who were and still being effected by this 'fake, plastic medicine man' will find their courage. Since the denial of Indian Residentical School is so prevalent for decades that our own leadership pays such fake people. Thousand of dollars paid out becausse we can not see our own people's strengths. There is a new generation who are listening and I hope they hear or read my blog. Many times I've felt like i was all alone, loonely. I am human. I have needs. I still need acceptance and validation too. it's how we or I direct my energy. So my reader, I ask you to visualize me being encased in a bubble made up of postive,protective, reflective healing energy directed to saying to people "i love you!"

Sunday, 15 October 2023

woman's song

 

The Nakota, Dakota and Lakota Womoan's song this is my late mother's interpretaton translated into Dakota I will attempt to edit it in the best way possible as I've worked on this song for sometime now. 

 1.My late mother's wording 
 Nahaŋ winyaŋ kiŋ 
 Bdihečiya ye 
 Niye opeča 
 Ničiŋča kiŋ ča 
 Oyate kiŋ ye 
 Wačiŋ hi yape

My listening to an app to get the universal translate of the language attached for everyone to sing it. There are so many different dialects, so I am hoping I can feel comfortable in sing it later on 

2. Woman’s song 
 Núŋǧe yúzA wiŋyaŋ kiŋ (listen women) 
 BdihédičiyA ye (have courage) 
 Niyé opeca (get ready)
 Ničhíŋkši kiŋ ca (your children) 
 Oyate kiŋ ye (Your people) 
 WačhiŋkuyA hi yape (are depending on you)

Monday, 9 October 2023

Why do you think, It's so important for Indigenous voices to be heard in their most authentic way as opposed to being told from the view of somebody on the outside?

 

Why do you think, it's so important for Indigenous voices to be heard in their most authentic way as opposed to being told from the view of somebody on the outside?

As I reflect on my childhood, from the very early ages from the time I saw my first non-indigenous person. As a toddler, then at age five, then when my parents started travelling into South American and then at age ten, they went into India. Even attending the City of Calgary Public School system, I have engaged with seen people engaging with my community. Reflecting back is important into wondering why my family allowed ‘white adjacency’ influences in our lives. At first, people within my community will say ‘its because your family, my step-grandfather was hereditary Chief or that my uncle was Chief, or my aunt sat on Council. It didn’t occur to me that childhood trauma was connected to this notion that my people, my indigenous people engaged with people who hoped to fix things, exploit us, exploit our land and our resources by saying that we as indigenous peoples were doing these things to ourselves. Let me call it what it is, we were poor, and we were uneducated. Generations had gone through a systemic racist system called ‘Indian Residential Schools.’ Having ‘White Adjacency’ was like being smart by just having some DNA that came from European bloodline. Its still a misconception amongst older indigenous people. As for me, I pray to my Creator to protect such people, as I do not know what they see in me. Think about it, when a non-indigenous person reads this blog about, the exploitation of a young so called ‘Medicine Man,’ Nathan Chasing Horse.

I now think about how I look at this blog, I know now as I knew then, some seventeen years ago, that like a indigenous woman who a victim of sexual assault or family violence, there would be others. Single moms, she might be on welfare, she might get onto the internet, social media and even google the name, Nathan Chasing Horse. She might see this blog from me, an indigenous woman, from intergeneration trauma circumstance, right. Seventeen years ago, I was looking, googling his name trying to get references from people whom he worked with in any youth programs. I thought there should be more about him as he was in the movie ‘Dances with Wolves.’ I was looking for an indigenous voice out there in cyberspace. In reflection, I know its important for indigenous voices to be heard from within our own authentic way as opposed to being told from the view of somebody from the outside.

This year, after January when Nathan Chasing Horse was arrested in Nevada, I put myself out there in the ‘public eye.’ It’s this transition from being a private person being unknown on this blog site. Without ever mention my real name, I accepted being interviewed. Along with is choice came some problems. For decades, I associated myself with ‘white adjacency,’ like a so called thirty-year so-called friendship with a forensic psychologist, and then, a ten-year relationship with my therapist. All these years, their voices were there telling me from their perspectives. It was not so apparent. Until they realized that my blog was getting international attention. I needed to step back. Their behavior towards me changed. I needed to look at myself and look at my entire story.  For a long time, these people engaged with my community, with the hope of fixing us, saving us, by knowing us, and I think they never wanted that.

As I’ve stated, my parents and my grandparents experienced intergenerational trauma at the hands of missionaries. Even when they were selected to travel around the world for two years, it was under the umbrella of being good Christians representing Capitalism. This love addiction to ‘white adjacency’ for me, was a delusional response to not dealing with our own trauma. This seeking of acceptance and this validation from the other, ‘white adjacency’ had nothing to do with physical sexual needs rather it was all emotional needs. Reflecting on this vulnerability toward ‘ritual abuse’ through the lens of ‘white adjacency’ in any organization was like being addicted to missionaries or people who seemed to ‘know the answers or the solutions’ to our social problems and social norms. Writing this blog and stepping back or cutting the strings I detached myself to with ‘white adjacent’ people by getting to understand myself better. I realized I did this blog all by myself and I lived within this blog for several years all by myself. I shared stories about Nathan Chasing Horse hoping that someday he would get caught, tried, and sentenced for his crimes against indigenous girls and indigenous women. “Whtie adjacency” would try to diagnose and watch rather than engage.

I could have stopped writing this blog back in January, but I didn’t. I could have left everything up to the news media outlets throughout this world to interpret their own storytelling about this Plastic Medicine Man or Credit Card Man, but I didn’t’. I’ve struggled trying to update this blog and will continue writing and hopefully create a podcast dedicated to understanding the long-term effects of intergenerational trauma. This is not some scenario of having a magic wand or a professional ‘white adjacent’ solution looking in on me or my community thinking or saying they have the answer when really, they have their own traumas. Its easy for them to bask in the glory of acceptance and validation that ‘white adjacency’ give them, that warm and fuzzy feeling.  It’s not an easy road to live within a community where the drama of inappropriate or lack of coping skills is constant. Yet, I am blessed. I am truly grateful for all the education skills I’ve acquired, and I’ve achieved. I write hoping other indigenous girls and indigenous women read about my life and understand that those who came before me had no voice and over came so much. They struggled to have a voice. I am here to acknowledge them as without them teaching me throughout my entire life about trauma through their example and their love with sharing their stories. I know I would have not found the courage I needed to move forward. So, many died before they could heal and so many tried to make amends.

This past week we honored those indigenous girls and indigenous women who went missing. I heard a woman speak about the death of her daughter. I heard within her voice, the voices of the indigenous women I helped bury, who never got to heal to this point. Hers’ was an indigenous woman talking about her life and her regrets. Hearing her healing journey where she can let go of her daughter’s tragic murder by not blaming herself. I thought, I wish my friends lived. I wish they were this woman talking about their life.

Marina

Sunday, 8 October 2023

Sometimes I wonder is it worth knowing what makes people tick.

 this is just a quick note for the night. as the Thanksgiving long weekend, comes to an end, makes me wonder. The question about how people choose to live their lives and what makes a person truly happy. Yes, growing up in poverty I am at the same time. trying my best to get an education by working full-time and going to school full-time, I just thought it would all be worth it. Now,  don’t get me wrong. It is all worth it. It’s just so sad to see so many people having really poor coping skills. To the point of becoming addicted to prescription drugs, and or raising their children, become codependent on prescription drugs. 

I don’t know if there’s any real balance between those people who live beyond their means or those people who don’t have the means to survive. I was in both scenarios, both have poor coping skills. Yet, the balance falls in between these two scenarios. 

yet, the balance falls in between these two scenarios. I just hope everybody had a good Thanksgiving meal, and that people spent this time with their families. 

When my niece was in high school, she would come back after school talking about what she heard on the bus. The conversations about prescription, drugs, and straight drugs was a bit overwhelming for her. 

today, a young man, and when I say young man, he’s a Grandpa. When I knew him as a child, he was running with gang members in the city of Vancouver. All of his aunties and uncles have since passed away from drug abuse. His own children are also involved in this drug culture. The reason I mentioning him is that I don’t know when he is ever sober. This dynamics that he carries for me is unimaginable trauma. As today he disclose that he’s been sexually assaulted twice.

His own children are also involved in this drug culture. The reason I mentioning him is that I don’t know when he is ever sober. This dynamics that he carries for me is unimaginable trauma. As today he disclose that he’s been sexually assaulted twice. He disclosed this in front of his mother a family friend and myself. He became so agitated. Upon telling the story, just a few minutes ago, my cousin, who was listening to what I was saying to her, asked me if I was scared.

he became so agitated. Upon telling the story, just a few minutes ago, my cousin, who was listening to what I was saying to her, asked me if I was scared. It was just the dynamics of it all. It was the dynamics of it all, debriefing, understanding what just happened today.

I believe sometimes we don’t truly understand the people that we’re in contact with. We seem to numb ourselves when you see a psychotic break or some sort of psychotic behavior. I just cannot comprehend what is happening to all those small children around this man. I know he’s a very dangerous man. It really makes me think whether or not I want to continue visiting his mother. 

it doesn’t seem fair that so many indigenous women that I do know and have contact with on a somewhat daily basis are addicted to some form of prescription drug. My cousin and I we were discussing prescription drug abuse, and she said that even 10 years ago, those who were addicted thwere discussing prescription drug abuse, and she said that even 10 years ago, those who were addicted then. are now suffering from major medical problems. 

even with the cost of living here in Calgary, and the rent increase by $600 per month for me is unimaginable. Maybe it just seems that the whole world is coming into crisis. Or that there’s a real crisis, happening, and people are so numb that they don’t really understand. 

as I’ve been growing up, I would hear the elders say to us, be good to each other. Now that I’m an elder, I rethink the statement. I rethink it, and I realize that it’s not only treating each other with kindness and compassion. It’s also having the ability to say to someone that I love you. it isn’t just enough to treat each other with kindness and compassion. It’s either in the words saying that to someone, to anybody that you love them, without any complications, or any kind of ulterior motive, other than saying, I love you.