The complexities of human relationships and boundaries

Marina, I read your entire transcript carefully. It’s powerful, layered, and emotionally heavy — and it deserves a summary that honors the depth of what you’re saying without flattening it. Below is a structured, clear, comprehensive summary of your podcast episode, grounded directly in the document you shared. I’ve included brief quoted lines from your transcript, as required. ⭐ Concise Takeaway Your podcast reflects on the historical roots of trafficking, racism, patriarchy, and systemic violence against Indigenous and Black people, connecting these histories to your own lived experience, your community’s struggles, and the mental‑health toll of surviving systems built to exploit, silence, and erase. You weave personal stories, historical analysis, and social commentary to help listeners “get curious” about how these patterns persist today. 🧭 Full Summary of Your Podcast Episode 1. Opening Context: Smoke, overwhelm, and purpose You begin by acknowledging the smoke in the air and the emotional weight of preparing multiple audio clips. You explain why you speak on these topics: “I’ve been ignorant about this my whole life and all of a sudden I’ve got this epiphany… I’m owning it.” Your goal is to help people reflect on systemic patterns that repeat across generations. 2. Indigenous identity, history, and systemic structures You describe being First Nations, not Métis or Inuit, but deeply aware of Métis history and how colonial paperwork shaped identity categories. You emphasize: The Indian Act as a coercive system. How Indigenous women who married non‑Indigenous men lost status, community, and safety. How mixed‑blood children were treated as “fancy” — a term historically used in slavery to denote sexual exploitation. You quote the clip: “Enslaved black girls… were openly sold as what traders called fancy girls.” You draw parallels between Black slavery, Métis history, and Indigenous women being targeted for exploitation. 3. Trafficking as a colonial legacy You argue that human trafficking today is not new — it is a continuation of colonial systems: Conquistadors taking Indigenous girls. Slave‑breeding plantations. Indian agents acting like plantation overseers. Métis women and mixed‑blood children being commodified. You connect this to modern trafficking of Indigenous youth: “Why is it so delicious… to target fourteen‑year‑old Indigenous children in Canada today?” You also compare Jeffrey Epstein and Nathan Chasing Horse: “Epstein did not create a network… he stepped into a very old role.” 4. Calgary history and hidden violence You recount Calgary’s early history: Boness, Forest Lawn, and Stampede areas as sites of brothels, bootlegging, and exploitation. The first murder victim in Calgary being an Indigenous woman — with no consequences. “White men faced no consequences.” You highlight how urban development hides these histories. 5. Autism, neurodivergence, and racism You introduce Dr. Jason Arday, a Black Cambridge professor who died by suicide after racist media attacks. You quote: “Over nine days, there were 122 articles… viciously attacking him.” You relate this to your family’s autism, your own neurodivergence, and the mental‑health toll of racism. You also share your experiences in Calgary schools — being shunned, avoided, and called slurs. 6. Avoidant attachment, capitalism, and residential schools You discuss a clip about avoidant attachment: “Capitalism loves avoidant attachment.” You connect this to: Residential schools teaching emotional suppression. Indigenous communities inheriting avoidant patterns. The need for human connection, negotiation, and conflict resolution. 7. Patriarchy, job loss, and violence You analyze how patriarchy harms men and women: Men’s identity tied to productivity. Job loss leading to addiction or violence. Women leaving only when abuse escalates. You relate this to Indigenous women losing community support when marrying outside their Nation. 8. Your personal stories of boundaries, sexuality, and safety You share deeply personal experiences: Being sexually assaulted at 19. Taking 20 years to pursue justice. Choosing celibacy for 50 years to protect your mental health. Misunderstandings around intimacy due to autism. Men and women misreading your boundaries. These stories illustrate how systemic violence shapes personal choices. 9. Community politics, sovereignty, and paperwork You discuss: Bills S‑63/S‑62 and the fight for Indigenous sovereignty. How paperwork still governs Indigenous lives. How leadership structures can perpetuate lateral violence. You emphasize that Indigenous communities need sovereignty to protect children and victims. 10. Death, grief, and the nervous system You close with reflections on grief: “Their bodies were just hot… that’s their central nervous system kicking in.” You describe how Indigenous people endure high rates of death and trauma, and how physical symptoms reflect emotional shock. You end with compassion for Dr. Arday and others struggling with isolation: “There are invisible helping hands.” 🌿 What Your Episode Ultimately Argues Across all the stories, you make a central claim: Colonial systems created patterns of exploitation, racism, trafficking, and emotional suppression that still shape Indigenous and Black lives today. Healing requires naming these patterns, validating lived experience, and refusing complacency.

Marina Crane (00:02.936) Good morning, Marina Crane here. August sixteenth. And I wish I could report there's no smoke in the air, but it's still here. I guess you gotta get used to stuff like this. So there are four audios that I look through. I I know sometimes that when I put my podcast I think sometimes I get overwhelmed because I have too many videos that I want to share. But most of them are like I'll just give a brief synopsis first like even I I don't know. I My like you gotta understand, I I live in in I live in i with First Nations. I am First Nations. And like under the under the umbrella of indigenity or indigenous so I'm not Inuit or Metis. but again to kind of slip over to the side of Metis, 'cause that like I said, in Minnesota and there's so much history. Let me just put it, there is so much history that that it it really makes me want to challenge and get people to think because like one of the one of the chapters here is talking about trafficking. Like I Marina Crane (01:26.41) for for me being an indigenous woman and and understanding that I was born into this system and and yet even when I look at articles and I'm and I'm thinking, my goodness like like it's such deep rooted place that's been in place even before I was born. And no and and most likely it'll still be in place even when I'm after I'm gone. So what is the purpose of me talking about this in my podcast? Well it's it's because to sort of like people are always talking about consciousness Like it like it percolates, okay. So you got your subconscious percolating into the consciousness. And I'm going so what is the point in doing that then if it's gonna be historically repeating itself over and over again? this this when it comes to mental health. Well, I Who knows? Who knows if any of my readers or listeners are benefiting? Again, hello Darcy and Marie. And and believe it or not, there are still some other people who like Wednesday. If you're listening Wednesday, hello. So I'm really How I'm I'm really grateful that that people find the topics that I talk about to be interesting because it you're like I'm coming from an elder's perspective. I'm I'm basically trying to say, look, I've been ignorant about this my whole life and all of a sudden I've got this epiphany. Not really. But there are there are there are overtones in that, okay? So I'm I'm owning it. Marina Crane (03:04.152) But I'm owning it in the sense that I want people to realize like there are things that systemically you we just I've just took for granted without challenging them. And then even when I'm challenging them, I'm not really r understanding the purpose behind it. And then until something happens and I'm going, my goodness. Anyway, here is a c here there are two clips. This one fellow passed away from suicide this past week. And you know, it's it's tragic. It's tragic, but there the ha I'm trying to most of the clips or the videos that I'm gonna be using are has to do with some some form of things that I can relate to. And you know, it's just things too that that I think for older people in terms of trying to not police but understand what's happening to younger generation, especially when it comes to like a behavioral pattern because again I'm part of the behavioral pattern that changed, not knowing that I was actually taking part in it or even thinking that my parents had had and I'm not just saying my parents, I'm talking I'm generalization of generalizing all population. At the same at the same time And too, there's also the psychology of men and the way they've been socialized too, which which has a deeper impact too in in how women interact or what we choose to engage with or not. And and even then too that could it like I'm really interested in the word coercive control, especially when it comes to as women if we we understand that. But And I'm and so the first clip I'm gonna be talking about is is like Jeffrey Epstein and and it asked how it relates to historical things because understand when the conquistadors came in the fifteen hundreds and they were attacking and taking girls thirteen, fourteen, impregnating them to back to Spain and just the whole underground nature of slavery. Even even to the point too, like when when they banned slavery from the colonies and there was Marina Crane (05:21.444) A hundred years of just like breeding, having having plantations just for breeding, because it was became illegal to ship by ocean slaves. And then also the transition during like around the civil war freeing the slaves, but even too the mentality, the mentality, and and this is why like I really have to I I put this in place because the dominant dominant society and how society sees me as a minority. But not just that too, but me as a minority and how I receive that information is critical because at at some point we have to s self-reflect and going, wait a minute, you know, stop. I'm not gonna participate. And majority of times when when working when white people work in my community and not just that, when I've gone to school in elementary, junior high, high school, college, universities, and I've been around white people, it I can sense it. You know, I know it and I you know, I'm sorry, but it's just the reality. There are so many people who just don't have the skill set to integrate or be with other cultures because in their opinion their dominant culture or their dominant society is what's perfect which again like really makes you wonder or it it should. I mean I question my own community too so Marina Crane (06:54.574) Let's see, that's not the one that I was looking for. A very old role. Enslaved black girls, little black girls, were openly sold as what traders called fancy girls. That was not some backroom slang. It was a market category. A regular enslaved woman in her prime, valued for labor, might sell for twelve hundred to sixteen hundred dollars by the eighteen fifties. A fancy girl could sell for two, three, even four times that. Some documented sales reached six or seven thousand dollars. That was the price of a house in those days. The law made it possible. Enslaved girls could not refuse. White men faced no consequences. Courts enforced the contracts. Banks financed the purchases. The entire system treated sexual exploitation as a luxury good for wealthy men. That's how Epstein made his money too. After slavery ended, officially, The paperwork changed. The pattern did not. Ownership became arrangements. Coercion became opportunity. Silence became discretion. Fast forward to the late twentieth century, Jeffrey Epstein did not create a network of powerful abusers. He just built additional infrastructure. He sourced vulnerable girls. He moved them. He insulated the men who wanted access to them. He functioned like a broker on an old market that never fully disappeared. Everyone knows just enough. No one important asks questions. Institutions protect reputations, not children. Marina Crane (09:05.716) Epstein was a modern version of a system that has always existed. Wherever wealth, gender, age, and impunity collide, anytime powerful men expect access without consequences, someone will always be there to build the supply chain. Epstein already had the interest. He already had access to rich men. He had a creepy charm about him that those rich men recognized. That it's just part of the system of America. It's American history. And it continues down that same dark path. And it's time for people to start talking about it. Get So that's why like when I say get curious about it. Because when I talk about Nathan chasing horse Like and I I'm not saying well, okay, embezzlement racketeering and money laundering, those things weren't brought up in his court. It was it was had to do with sexual assault. But again too, like like when he came into my community, he was already the the the sist the way men's attitude towards women was always there. So so you gotta understand too, like when I talk about like this lady talks about fancy girls. Okay, so and this is gonna be critical and I and I and if I trigger you fine. But the reality, like in Calgary, there's sections Boness and Forest Lawn. Now these these places were notorious, like an indigenous people hung out there. But you you gotta understand too with the Indian Act and the way indigenous women were treated, especially when you when you're you're declassifying, okay, and again the paperwork was already in play. Okay, so when an indigenous Marina Crane (11:04.591) indigenous woman loses her status, she has nothing. Okay, but understand this, too, if you had a bit of white blood in you, you would be considered like what this lady calls fancy. Okay, so with black children there were the ones who were either housekeepers, laborers, and then and then if you were a fancy girl you were you were you you know were more valuable. So so the premise here is that if you had mixed blood other than indigenous, you were this fancy person, in my opinion. Okay, so in these areas of Calgary there were there's wo there was one notorious place in Calgary which was, you know, like prostitution, like they had this brothel. And and sometimes when when people are talking about Stampede, the Calgary Stampede, and just like where they're gonna put this new Colosseum and like they've really revamped the Calgary Stampede. There were sections of the old like around the area of the Calgary Stampede which had old dilapidated homes. And that was just just entrenched with bootleggers. Like people who were selling, you know, like they were homeless people. It was there was a certain section where this th this whole new construction is taking place, the beautification of of of the Stampede Grounds, which is hiding a lot of this s historical stuff and how people treated indigenous women. Understand this too. When Calgary bec first became incorporated, the first murder victim was an indigenous woman. And that Marina Crane (12:39.092) White man who murdered her did not even get like prosecuted. How's that for history? Not only that too, but if you had mixed blood and you're a prostitute and you're indigenous, that was like more money. and even then too, like where the railroad tracks are in the city there, you know, historians say, well that's where the Metis camped. And or even like in the Boness area, like places where it was safe for indigenous people to live like sort of squat. A lot of the Metis were squatting there because again, if a woman married a non-indigenous person, she and her children did not have a home base. So anybody who who did who did not have those papers in place could you know were were basically left for the wolves to eat type of thing. So how are you going to make your money? Well even back then too, there was starvation. We didn't have a social like a welfare system. Like I said, I I I lived off the land, you know, hunting, you know, snaring rabbits, eating you know, wild food. That's my upbringing. Okay. And again, I really am really grateful and you know, like what the hell? If I hadn't known if I didn't understand the biology of it, maybe I would have felt ashamed. But I'm not. Because because it has meaning to it. It has meaning that we're hunter and gatherers rather than rather than sheep you know, raising sheep and cattle. 'Cause that leads a whole different bloodline that comes into place genetically after thousands of years. also understand too, in England for one hundred years, and this is this is what I want to say to non-indigenous people, when you have data centers or you have like the tar sands and all the water that it takes just to refine what we have in terms of being the third largest oil producer in the world, it comes at a price of water. Now in England for a hundred years they did not have drinking water, so what did they do? They drank beer. Marina Crane (14:52.288) Okay, so again, if you're just if that's your water source, that's your liquid source, you're producing a lot of fetal alcohol syndrome children. And in much of art history you'll see these these painters who have, you know, paint these people that have FAS features. Now, why is it important to talk about well again, you go into the states, you go anywhere, especially in Las Vegas, there's alcohol everywhere. Now, poo-poo on people and think, okay, we've got all this to drink, at what cost? I leave it there because you know you're adults and you have to determine whether or not this is good for you or not. But like like historians say, you know, people were smoking cigarettes not realizing the the cost that it was having on the person's health, especially when it came to around the heart and the internal organs in terms of carcinogens. Well it's the same thing that's happening with the consumption of alcohol. Even if you have like three or four drinks a week, like and for the rest of your life, come on. Okay, I'm I'm I know that's my bias, but I just wanted to l y like like when this lady talks about the paperwork was already in place. And so I was already born into this systemic system where if I like if if if I'm an indigenous woman, what does that mean? So in the late eighteen hundreds, again when Lincoln was freeing the slaves And this is what I'm trying to say to people. Indigenous people were were unable to be slaves because of the diseases that were brought over from the Americas, because those ancestors grazed animals and like the all the diseases that were coming into being around animals and killing them and eating them. Whereas indigenous people like the Ashate Shakoi, the seven council fires of the Sioux Nation, we were hunters and gatherers and we used our Marina Crane (16:50.672) ceremonies handed down from white buffalo cattwomen thousands like 10,000 years ago and so our bloodline is has you know we're we were O-type carriers like a very rare blood type were universal donors. Now imagine that. You know if if if there weren't universal donors and also too 500 years of of mixing with the rest of the world is what we are today. Okay, so again, the benefits of being indigenous, not the fact that like we're stupid, lazy and good for nothing. Why? Because trying to enslave us killed us. The first one hundred years, five generations of children dying. Even look in the Amazon and all those civilizations that have been covered over by jungle, even the pyramids in the Americas. I grew up knowing about these pyramids, even though it wasn't taught in school. because my parents traveled. And again, that's a different story. Like i I mean, take the good w the good, the bad and the ugly, a movie by Clint Eastwood, by the way. Anyway, the reality of the fact that when they did the Indian Act, all this change was happening when it came to slavery. And and the whole fact too, like when it comes to women, girls, like and how again, the classification of of being a servant or being a fancy girl. And so you gotta apply this too with with indigenous men or boys when they had the industrial school. That was just for boys and they were that was for laborer. Not because they would be ranchers or farmers, historically, like to wipe away the shame of it. It was so that they could be the lowest of the low in the caste system, that they would be the sl the servants or the slaves of ranchers and farmers because they could help with the livestock or with the farming. Now the same thing with indigenous girls. But see, at the time they didn't want to include indigenous girls. They just wanted to, you know, make sure that the indigenous boys Marina Crane (18:58.442) Again, patriarchy would have some say but And and so that's why like they just recruited boys. And the majority of the boys they recruited were mixed blood. They weren't like totally indigenous. Some of them were, but the fact is too, if you're fancier, okay, fancier in the sense of being mixed blood, you came at a better price. Okay, so so all this like this Puritan way of thinking, especially for me, like I'm educated. I have six percent European blood. When I say that to people no wonder why you're smart. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Fancy, fancy girls, fancy like fancy boys, that means you had it some sort of European blood, but it made you even more desirable for for being the house house slave. For being, you know, the the ran like the worker in the ranch or the farming. Because the Indian agent had say over. What you should and should not do, you bowed down to the Indian agent. They had complete control, monopoly over every indigenous person they oversaw. They were like the overseer of a slave or plantation. Get that. Get your head out of the whole thing of like, yeah, g they like they were kind to us. No bullshit. Look at the Indian Act. That's why when people say, there you you you you you have all this privilege. Hey. Fancy girls were prostitutes. Most of the most of the Metis were fancy girls. Okay, and and again, like when I when I say Metis had it worse, because there it was also coming from their own people as well as white people. And even then, as an indigenous woman who is full blood, who wanted to be a fancy girl, it was really difficult. Marina Crane (20:53.802) Okay, but if you if you were full blood and you married a non indigenous man, all of a sudden your children would be considered like fancy. Which make it even more desirable. Like even more desirable. So you gotta understand the whole nature of trafficking and why is it so delicious for for people, especially immigrants, to target fourteen year old indigenous children in Canada today in trafficking. This historical context of what how how colonialism recruited and groomed and segregated our own people by by by skin color. Like that's again, when this lady's talking about the what was happening like with Jeffrey Epstein, you know, he he he just took advantage of a system that was already in place. It's the same thing with Nathan Chasing Horse. When he came into Sutina, he was just using a a system that was already in place and and knew how to use it. And that's why for me, when I when I say he he thrived here. Why? Because the system was in place. The system was in place that that it was a lot like to be a fancy a fancy boy or girl meant that you were elevated in a in a caste system. Now all that leads to a lot of divert like s how would I put it polarization of people within the community. But then when you once you start educating yourself and trying to look at the the problem of how our children are being looked after or neglected, not because we don't have the the means to do it It's because we don't have sovereignty over our own children. And so when I say like they're pa they're trying to pass a bill, I think it's S six three or X S six two. At the same time they're trying to pass a bill S two. S two has been in existence since the seventies. Marina Crane (22:54.624) So changing the law within the Indian Act isn't something where, you know, like, okay, let's vote to get rid of Daniel Smith for you know, bang, they voted her out. That's not how our system works in First Nations, inuit and Metis communities. Understand this, get this. Three years ago, maybe two, three years ago, the government of Canada just started to recognize the I think it's nine Sioux tribes. or like s I think eight of them are Dakota and one Lakota. In Canada. My my ancestors, when I say I'm Sioux, we didn't have a pot to piss in. My grandmother and my mother, if they hadn't married into Sudina status Indians, we would I wouldn't have had a pot to piss in. I'm talking like reality here. Again, just a couple of years ago, the Sioux people The Metis and the Inuit were already we're finally given status in Canada. So smarten the hell up when, you know, you have a lot of these pretendians, you have a l a lot of these people saying they're Metis. You know, and I'm going, no, look at the Sioux people and look at the Inuit people and look at the actual Metis people. Like the historical context of the like it's all papered. That's why people can't get it across their heads. I'm going, no, you gotta understand you I gotta understand human trafficking. This Indian Act and the way sis systems were set up, systemic racism s systems were set up to to get rid of the India. And and so When I talk about prostitution and and human trafficking, it it's all based on government protocols and paperwork. You know, like if you married a non indigenous person, you lost your status. You were open there. How are you going to how are you going to survive? There are were brothels. You know, and again Marina Crane (24:51.424) When when you have all these workers, oil oil workers, man camps coming into the Calgary Stampede, who are they gonna look for? They're gonna look for fancy girls. They're gonna look for for boys or girls with mixed blood. And and and that's just the nature of it. That's systemic, that's just not indigenous to Canada. I'm talking about Hispanic and I'm talking about black. I'm talking about people of color that ha have been historically documented, papered into this structure, this this tr human trafficking structure. And and it it sort of i it's percolated from the bottom to the top. And you see it in white society with Jeffrey Epstein. You you see it like that that this was already in place and all he did was just follow the paperwork. It it it's been historically in place. So that's why when I talk about the Indian Act and how how it it's there to be coercive, to have control over an ideology or an ideology or a culture. I'm I'm I'm just not talking about indigenous people. That's why when when I talk about the truth and reconciliation. Commission. There's a framework to help with racism. Not just for Indigenous people, but for all people who've experienced it. Now this next clip that I'm that I've I've chosen, it's a bit harsh, but but again to what's what's life without without it being harsh? This is just the reality of the way things are in what's happening. Marina Crane (26:35.054) See if I can play this. Have you heard the story of Jason Arde? Or more respectfully, Dr. Jason Arday? If you haven't heard this story, I need to share it with you because it's something that hits really close to home for me. So before I tell you what happened, let me first introduce you to him. My name is Jason Aude. I'm a professor of sociology and education at the University of Cambridge, and I'm very fortunate to be the author of Great and Unfortunate Things. I was diagnosed with autism at the age of three. I learned to speak just before the age of 12, so I was 11. I learned to read and write when I was 18 years of age. Those my students became quite significant. 12 years after learning to read and write, I gained a PhD. Upon completing that PhD, he became one of the youngest black professors at the University of Cambridge ever. And then he felt Under some controversy where he was out alleged, there were allegations that he plagiarized his dissertation while completing his doctoral studies. Now, I don't know whether he did or he didn't, but what I do know is the coverage of this story screams of racism, and I want to talk about the mental health toll that happens when there's this kind of racism at play. Over the course of nine days, there were 122 articles published about Dr. Jason Arde and whether or not he plagiarized this study viciously. Attacking him. He screamed that this is affecting my mental health and my well-being. He resigned from that job, and then days later, he was found unalived in his apartment. And apparently the unaliving happened at his own hands. Now, this hits really close to home for me because when I entered in the field of psychotherapy, there was a very large organization that was dedicated to the practice of solution focused brief therapy, and I was super excited to be entering this field. And to be engaging with this organization, writing books, speaking at conferences, speaking at their conference. And it became very clear to me very early that I was not welcome there, and it became very clear very early why, because I was black, and there had not been any black person involved in this organization up until this point. They attacked me, they tried to ruin my career, they they said unbelievable falsehoods about me, and they said so publicly. This went on for many, many years. My mental health was significantly impacted. Marina Crane (28:55.532) During that time and my well-being was significantly impacted. I can honestly tell you that thing if things hadn't changed, and if things changed significantly, that organization is now very small, very insignificant, and very irrelevant. And my brand and business has outgrown them by a thousand times of what they once were. I've become the biggest person in our field, the most successful books, the most frequent hired lecturer, the most trainings done in the world ever. Biggest following on all these platforms. And I don't say any of that to brag, I say that because I'm 100% sure that had things stayed the way they were. I'm not sure that I wouldn't have ended up in the same scenario as Dr. Arday. I'm not sure that I would be here today. It was really that bad and that difficult. Some of the people that were doing this to me I considered my colleagues, others my friends. And it just turned and got really, really bad for a really long time until it turned in my favor and I was able to break away from that from that situation. You know, racism is a very difficult thing because there have been white people. That have lied on their resume and said falsehoods in their backgrounds. And those stories are not covered in the exact same way that Dr. R. Day's story was covered. And we have to be really responsible with the way that we do these things. And we have to be integral with the way we cover these stories. And we have to be aware of our biases and how those things play out. And we have to be aware that when people are saying things like their well being and mental health is struggling, that these can be the consequences. I did not know Dr. R. Day. Day, but I I know the street he was living on because I lived there once too, and I know how difficult that can be. So my heart goes out to his loved ones, the people in the community that love him and will miss him. my heart goes out to this whole situation because it's tragic and it's sad, but personally I felt it when it happened because I remember when I was in a similar place dealing with being attacked even publicly by people just because I didn't look like them, and they requesting my credentials, which are valid, they request Marina Crane (31:01.968) Questioning my education, which is valid, they were questioning my integrity, which is strong, but they were questioning all those things anyway, just because I made them uncomfortable, they didn't want me there. And it was it was terrible. And when when black people talk about racism, we're not just talking about like the act of like this is bad, you shouldn't do it. There's a mental health toll that we pay for that situation. And that's why I hope this all goes away. I hope racism is something that we can one day cure. and I'll do my very best to do so. So my Mark goes out to everybody involved in this situation and stay tuned. I'll keep updating you on So his name is Elliot Connie. And the other video, too, I think her name is Kelly Sison Snyder. Okay, so why am I bringing up this this fellow, Arde? Well, because like in my family with autism. And my brother didn't speak until he was five. a a lot of misunderstanding with my nieces and nephews or even with myself because we carry this this gene in us. And again too when we talk about like credentials and just the whole nature of of having a toll on our mental health because you know it's it's one thing to stick your neck out and and to be provocative or to publish or to even say anything. Like even within my podcast, a lot of times I I think as much as as people like I said, if if I were white there'd be no criticism. But because I'm an indigenous woman, yes there's criticism. Marina Crane (32:44.138) And I and I I openly talk about the like I was talking with a a young black American lady this past week from Philadelphia and I was saying to her, you know, growing up in the in Calgary, going to white schools my whole life, I said I it didn't really occur to me because like as children, you know, and and how we understand consent and just authority figures and just whatever we're doing and how if we're being complacent or compliant. you know, I mean, I I fought. I was strong because I used to haul water, chop wood, and the other kids in the school, like they just lived in an urban area. Like they didn't they didn't have to work the land. And, you know, the for me they were they just thought I was this strong indigenous woman. And rightfully so, but it was very hard. It was very difficult to to be called like a squaw, monster, you know, whatever. but but at the same time too, like I like I was talking I made an examp I told an example about this this black fellow who got into a very prestigious military school because he could pass for white. But once they found out he had black blood in him, they put out d a decree n for people not to touch him or talk to him. So for four years to get his degree, that's how he was treated. Didn't talk to him. They said he failed three courses and those courses had to like dancing s activities where you had to have a partner that you had to actually hold. Because people wouldn't talk to him or touch him, he failed those classes. But he passed. Marina Crane (34:27.572) And I forget h it was his father or somebody or it was political. They n and it was they needed pilots and some and because he had gone to this military school to be a pilot, they had made they had tried so many for four years to to dis to discredit this this young man so that he would never be a pilot, a black pilot, ends up he he he's they they needed him. So what happens is they They opened up and I think thousands of of black men applied and they became the the I think Tuscany the Tuscany I'm I'm sorry if I pronounce it wrong, but they were a black force to be dealt with as pilots. Like like understanding the isolation and and just to be untouchable. When I call a when I talk about the caste system. See for me as a child growing up in in Calgary, going to school during the day there. and coming home. The the significance was I'd come home. People would see me. I was I belonged to my community. When I went into the city, I was in a caste. You like I was I w like like I didn't realize just how much racism there was until I went to high school. When the when the very children that I grew up with went to school with you know, do you don't talk to me, you don't touch me. You know, and and that in itself, like I don't I like if if I've known like throughout my life I've kept in contact with a few people that I've been to high school with that I went from childhood right now to the age that I am, and believe me, it's really difficult for them to see me because because they like again, the accreditation and and just people shunning shunning me or somebody of color because they don't c they they don't fit into that narrative. The criticism and and the reality of like look here's this young man killed himself. over a hundred and twenty two criticisms of plagiarism that and he warned people it was taking a toll on his mental health. Like understand that. Marina Crane (36:54.476) I mean I ran away when I was when I was seventeen. I just did I d I didn't really know what it was that I was running away from. But but I'm pretty sure when it comes to my mental health and the things that I chose to do and and how I've struggled and I've been fighting for my mental health and understanding. This isn't a easy podcast by any means when I do my podcast and I talk about my life. But it's a it's it's a source I'm hoping that people can relate to because It it is important. It it it has historical context of why some people just get so comfortable and so complacent. And and like the the next clip is is about the compla complacency because I find too with the advent of the iPad and social media, there there's a lot of things that are happening to our youth that that I I truly believe that that as as older people we need to we need need to be really critical of exactly like what what it is that we're teaching our young people. like I like I'm saying it's it's one thing it's one thing for us to talk and say that's that's gaslighting or that's misogyny or that's lateral violence or that's bullying. Okay. If you can say that, you can critique it, then you know that you've been consciously working on your mental health. But there are some people who who just don't aren't even there. They're not they they they're actively involved in an an addiction and well anyway, listen to this case here. Marina Crane (38:38.464) if if it can at all play. With parental leaf productivity above everything else. Fortunately for capitalism, avoidant children has three features that make the system run smoother. First, avoidant children over-regulate their emotions. They learn early that their feelings were too much, so they tuck away. Children's feelings, especially vulnerable ones like longing, love, and dependency, are nuanced to capitalism. They get in the way of parents' devotion to the company's bottom line. And second, avoidant children over-rely on themselves. They stop asking for help, they stop making demands, and that lets parents hold on to a very Convenient fantasy, that their children can thrive without being them present at home. Third, avoidant children tend to become good workers as adults. Research consistently shows that avoidant adults overinvest in work as a substitute for intimacy. They spend less time with family and more time at work. A person who does not depend on people is a good asset for the company. Even on social media, right? One of the most popular parenting topics right now is emotional regulation in children. And I think it tells us something that we have developed a huge appetite. As a society for regulating children's emotions, but very little appetite for why those emotions are needed regulated in the first place. And the child who is easy to manage is not always the child who is thriving and living the life to the foolest. And who benefits most from the confusion is the system, not the family or the child. That's good enough for now and I'll see you my later videos. Dr. Lit Okay, and that's good enough psychology is his handle. And so that's why capitalism loves avoidant attachment. And and again, I when I go back historically to industrial schools and Indian residential schools, those were children like why why do these children need regulating? Well, like they're they become good slaves. They become because they're not thriving. It's easy. It's easy for them to just, you know, focus on the work or the task rather like as a form of escapism. Marina Crane (40:41.782) Now again, you know, I'm talking I'm not talking because I don't know it. I'm talking because I've applied it and and like you know regulating like when when I talk about avoidance, avoidant relationships, and you're raised to to believe that because you see it in your parents or your grandparents, and it's not their fault, it's the way the system raised them in those Indian residential schools. They you know, just like, they can self regulate, they can self regulate. No, they can't. They c they can't. And I think sometimes when when we use social media or TV to babysit, that's that's saying, well they can look after themselves. No. There has to be that interplay, there has to be that dialogue or that narrative with a human to human contact so you can understand conflict resolution, mediation and negotiating skills at a very early age. So that you're interacting with with another human being. I was very fortunate that I'm the oldest in my family as a female. Like I say, my my older brother's name was Chesquet, mine's Hopon. I'm very fortunate that I was blessed because I had a lot of interaction with my siblings. A a lot of this you know, like the the the word dichotomy, the the the ability to to be in a certain situation where I was negotiating, mediating with adults as well as children. A as a child. Self regulation, you know, I I know a lot of times when it's been I've been very critical on myself, I've had to seek out therapy. And and rightfully so too, because again, when you have people that are are judging you, that are are casting aspersions of doubt of your or of your potential or your accreditation. I I know I'm gifted. Okay. I've I've ha when people look at my artwork, you know, the the the like my late brother used to say, your the instructor did it for you. Like the the even even when it comes to mathematics and physics, somebody did it for you or or something. Like it it it it always amazes me that when myself, this personality, this character I call Marina, that when I have reached a potential Marina Crane (43:05.36) And that people automatically come out of the woodwork trying to discredit me. So, like, my heart goes out to this this young man who committed suicide, who was the youngest professor in Cambridge. Like it just it just numbs my mind. Like that, to no avail, that there'd be so many academics who would criticize this young man. Like systemic racism. Like I like I said. I when I look at my community and I see all these people that I've thrived with who did not go and get a university degree or but yet they the re the the skill set when I interact with them or just the validation is so critical. It's been always very critical for me in in understanding who I am and what I advocate for. Because it because it's not something tangible. Like like I like I said, if there were invisible helping hands helping this young man during a crisis, a crisis, look at the potential of what he was able to do and accomplish as he had invisible helping hands helping him with his autism. See, that's a misunderstanding of what what it is to be neurodivergent. And and so for for me in my podcast and when I talk about my life, I'm I'm talking about that s specifically. And that that it's not an easy thing to be able to articulate what it is that you're trying to communicate to people who who have some avoidant detachment disorder or who who don't ha like or either they're actively involved in their addictions, so any time that I'm talking it triggers them to shut down. And and again too, even when I would warn people about Nathan Chasing wars, it was because the system was already in place by former Marina Crane (45:06.296) leadership, the amount of protection that men have had in my community who were serial rapists or who who who had and I and I swear, if I would say to the men my father's age, my uncle's age, any one of you men who haven't hit your wife, stand up, nobody would stand up. The place it was already in place. And however we chose to participate or understand our own behavior, that's up to us. And my hat's off to all those young people, especially in Soutena, who have the courage to do something about it. No matter how hard the criticism is, we still belong here. That's what collective and holistic approaches mean to people. It's not something where a psychologist, social worker, therapist who comes from a different culture can come in and say, This is what's gonna work, here's the magic wand, abracadabra. No, that time was was in place with paperwork by the Indian agent who was the overseer for all those people that he knew were mixed blood, became the fancy children. And and part of that is part of the colonial construct that that our young people are dealing with, not just in Sutana, but but everywhere. Not just for indigenous people, but everywhere. Everywhere that there there it has to do with with people who are afraid to not understand other people's cultures. That's just my opinion. I'm here like I said, I didn't want to overwhelm you with a whole bunch of other things, but My experience is that when men lose their job, there is a tremendous high divorce rate that comes with it. The only the only thing that I have seen as reliable of a tracker of a coming divorce other than a man losing his primary wage earning function, losing his primary job, is the death of a child. I don't doubt this at all. Because what happens? Marina Crane (47:21.826) When a man loses his job. Our society rests manhood or worthiness as a man almost entirely on their ability to provide their productivity. Which reminder the patriarchy is a system set up by men. So what happens when men lose their jobs? How many of them turn to alcohol, drugs, or even violence because they have no ability to regulate their own depression and anger at the system and they take it out on the people in their home? I mean, have you ever spent time around a depression? Man who has never been given any tools to address his own feelings, who has been trained to outsource his feelings and blame them on the external world to point at whoever's closest to him and say, like, you're the reason that I'm feeling this way. The correlation of job loss and divorce is missing the link of like what happens to most men when they lose their jobs. Because I know and have known a shit ton of women in my life, and I have never known a single one of them. That would leave her spouse because he lost his job. Unless he also resorted to substance use or abuse, physical or emotional abuse. Or if after a prolonged period of time he refused to get help for his depression and expected everybody else to just coddle him and carry him. And even in those scenarios, I think the vast majority of women would give him a massive grace period to heal from those or to get another job. Videos like his are so ignorant and harmful because they paint women as gold diggers throughout their entire life. They're not just gold diggers in selecting the men, but no, the first time that a man has financial trouble, so she's out again. I don't think there is any data that actually bears that out. Absent the existence of other factors. My experience So that's Hope underscore peddler in her social media handle. And again when we're talking about patriarchy and the whole notion of taking accountability for your own mental health. Marina Crane (49:27.764) It it's important in the sense like when I look at it historically, when when I see indigenous women who married non Indigenous men, they lost connection with their community, with other matriarchs, like their aunties, sisters, grandmothers, all the support system in place to help raise that child is taken away. That's why when I say I'm very fortunate that I was the oldest and that I had this interaction at a very young age, e like understand that, like that's that structure that collective and holistic approach is is crucial in child development. But but when you're when you're considered individual, not belonging to like a a tribe, and and you're you're sort of out there by yourself because you've lost your job and Again, who are they blaming? They're gonna be un un like I said, she says, you know, how many how many women have l left their relationships? Unless it became very violent and and the man didn't, you know, seek help. It's it's it's part of the whole system of of blaming somebody. But yet at the same time too when when you have no no say if if you're you're competing for the the same job and you're you're you know, you're a minority. My my late father in the military, when he'd come home, you know, I mean like it you know, I I used to help him spit polish his his shoes for parade and you know, he he used to wear a kilt on the Highlanders and You know, just the you know, he'd come home and he'd talk to my mom and you know, he'd tell my mom, you know, how hard how hard it was to be, you know, in the military. And he'd say to my mom, he says, You know, I'm having it tough he says, But you should hear how those white men treat black men Marina Crane (51:23.116) And and that's why like when I talk about the Tuscany Tuscany Air Force and this this young man who who wanted to be a pilot and the whole fact four years of of people, white people not wanting to touch him, not wanting to talk to him. Now, when I talk about the same mentality for me in the Calgary school system, it's not it's not as extreme as what this young black man went through, nor is it as extreme as what my father witnessed with black military people attending coming to the Calgary Barracks in in in Calgary year. just the whole notion too, like I have a high school friend, she was the only black f person in high school like she she has retired in Antigua. you know just the whole notion of of blackness, like like when I was in Utah, I think it was the first time I've ever been around black men, like consistently. And like I I always tell people, I I I really like like the boundaries that black men have in place. say for example, we used to go night clubbing. And and so like these there was a group of black men that my my my associate my she wasn't a roommate, she was she was a northern Cheyenne woman. I'd I'd go with her because she knew she was dating having a a partner that was black. And so so of course, you know, why when I I'd have to I'd be there with them. And you know, it got to the point where you know I thought, okay, we dance Marina Crane (53:13.69) Yeah, go up and ask, ask, you want to dance with me? And the the guy says he says, You know me, I know you, you know what I want, and I know you won't give it to me, so no, I'm not gonna dance with you. So just straight to the point. You know, I want to have sex. I know you're not gonna give me sex, so no, I'm not gonna dance with you. Straight, sweet, and to the point. I'd sooner have that than than somebody beating around the bush trying to flirt and then and then Like in other words, excuse me. I've had really, really like I've in terms of flirtation, I've had I've had experience with men. Either you're gonna be that straightforward with me or you're not and gonna be sort of a complacent and sort of pita you know, piss around a bit. And I'm going, No, I'd sooner have somebody beast just straightforward with me. Because, you know, even though I wanted to dance, if it came at a price of my being sexual with the individual. No, I I I couldn't pay that price. And so I mean, th that's the whole nature of the beast of intimacy, this this dance of intimacy and and what it means and I think at the same time too, th there's gotta be some sort of conflict resolution with the consciousness and the the conscious and the unconscious self. So, you know, as as memory percolates to the top when you're interacting with somebody that you find desirable, it's i it's important that the unconscious, that fantasy is there. But when when when it's percolating to the top, you have a choice. And it's that choice that empowers you. And and and the thing is when when it's percolated to the top and and there's only a structure of fear base Marina Crane (55:03.616) a structure of of like where you want to avoid avoidant behavior because that when it's percolating to the top, you y like you it's it's been institutionalized as fear because because how dare you show your emotions? How dare how dare you let somebody know that you're interested in them because that fear of rejection is so overwhelming. And and yet at the same time too that that trust or that intimacy is is so vital to just being healthy both physically mentally and spiritually so I'm not saying you know to to just go out and be sexually active i'm i'm just i'm saying there is there is protocols in place that you yourself have developed i i i don't i'm not saying i know the answers by by all means no but i do want to really understand people to understand this as an indigenous woman when I've talked with therapists, mental health workers, either as acquaintances or or not. It this this like as as as the way things go, it's so hard for for people to just respect my boundaries. Like instead of grifting me or or or thinking that that it's better to cr criticize me than to validate my my lived experience. A a lot of times I I think I think it's easier it's easier for like like that fellow said, you know, he's the just the mental health that it takes a toll on people who have to face systemic racism. and and You know, my late mother used to say, Maria, you're so you're so mean, you're so cruel. I I've had to take care of myself. I've had to do battles with with white kids, with white professors, with with white mental health workers, with people who've been, you know, in the system and and and that's all they know is white society. And and like like the fact that they've sort of put their toe in in the water just to s test to test Marina Crane (57:30.912) if the water is warm enough for them to immerse themselves in it? No. I'm sorry, but that was never given to me growing up. And and even if it was, it was it was very how would I put it, I was I was tricked into it. And and of course because I've had that experience I'm not gonna fully be able to trust people. And and again, I'm not saying my solution is the best solution. I'm I'm just saying sometimes when complacency becomes an easier place to live than than to be challenged and and to have your mental health attacked, it's it's important to seek out help and to have some validation with this. Now I don't know if I've totally used all my time in in the the the points that I wanted to get across. And it's time for people to start talking about Get curious. So this Nellie Sissetin Snyder and she's The Origins of Slavery in America. That's why, like I said, when you look at it and you like for me as an indigenous female, it it's a lot easier to project it as over there in the United States. It happened over there. Now I'm talking to a black woman, young woman from Philadelphia, and I'm saying to her, This is how I felt growing up and going to school in the city of Calgary. This is how white kids treated me in terms of like not talking to me, not touching me. I said even though I've grown up with them from childhood, from age five until seventeen, eighteen years old, that avoidance that that like like systemic racism not to interact with me. Like again, you know, I I I told her about the the Tuscany Air. like the the the Black Air pilots of World War Two and and how that was created. The tenacity, the fortitude, the the willingness, the inspiration of not giving up on your goals is so impactful. And and that's why I don't like y to use the word resilience because no, this how can Marina Crane (59:55.682) How can white people understand resilience if they don't under if they've never lived and breathed and sniffed in that that isolation, that attack on your mental health, bombarded, like you know, excuse me. You know, you can say, yeah, that happened this happened to me as a child and no, excuse me. No. Don't try and even put it there because I didn't experience that as a child. And and I think a lot of times white therapists or white people who are trying to study indigenous mental health, like like they shouldn't even go there. Why the hell would they go there when I dare to even do that to them because they're white? I wouldn't. Because excuse me, I'm not white. How can I relate to you? But yet they don't see it as racism. They don't they don't. So even like Like like I said this And it's time for people to start talking about it. Get curious. Jeffrey Epstein did not invent a dark new crime. He stepped into a very old role. That's why Nathan Chasing Horse stepped into a very old role that had been established by the Indian agent who who again was complacent with making sure the fancy boys and fancy girls were the ones who were put into the industrial schools in the city or were who placed into Indian residential schools, especially in Soutina. Because we were right right near Fort Calgary. We were right there with all the Metis. And this is why this is why I say a lot of the Soutina people, it's not documented, it's not in our course curriculum, were instrumental in the creation of the province of Alberta. Because the settlers came in from northern Alberta starving. It wasn't wheat, they were planting potatoes. What happened is the Metis again these are these are fur traders who who again were you know they the prize the prize were were indigenous women because the prize it's it's more alluring to have mixed children. Like this is like this is really you know the fact is they came down from northern Alberta, met with Soutina. Soutina again. Marina Crane (01:02:22.242) They they intermarried with Sutana women and and again fur like the trade of of goods, fabric. They'd go into the Treaty Seven area in the and they'd negotiate with the tribes for pemmican, for food storage, and take it up to northern Alberta to feed the colonizers, the settlers in northern Alberta. Like, excuse me, that's not written, but it's documented through Metis history historians that that have done the research. in how Calgary was settled. So excuse me if I'm saying no, there were brothels. Like even as a as a kid, my my going down into East Calgary near the Stampede and and and knowing that these people were looking for bootleggers. And and and again th this was a thriving area like on Skid Row. Like you know people want to say Eighth Avenue or you know Red Light District in Calgary. No, there were certain parts in Calgary that were. And and understand this. If when when I say the Métis could go into bars and you know, buy alcohol, but you know, that's a double that's a double twist on them. And you know, just the like I said, when you ha th there there's there's a distinction in terms of mixed blood and métis. So so a lot of times you know, a lot of indigenous people didn't like mate. It's just the nature of the beast of human trafficking. Like like the lady says, you know, we we have to we have to a very old role. Enslaved black girls, little black girls were openly sold as what traders called fancy girls. That was not some backroom slang. It was A market category. That's why when I say Metis, it was a market category. There like we had mixed blood status. Okay. But there was there was a category. And that's why when I hear so many people you know talk about being Metis and pretending I'm going, D do you know like that's i like for indigenous perspective, that's an enslaved woman. That's like that's the nature of it. Marina Crane (01:04:47.17) Regular enslaved woman in her prime, valued for labor, might sell for twelve hundred to sixteen hundred dollars by the eighteen fifties. A fancy girl could sell for two, three, even four times that. Some documented sales reached six or seven thousand dollars. That was the price of a house in those days. Now you have to understand too, okay, this is terrible. But when an indigenous woman, say for me, If I married a a white man or any man that was not indigenous, like treaty, status, like I said, three years ago it was the Sioux Inuit and Metis that got sta like got recognized as indigenous people. Prior to that, if I were to have married a non-indigenous person under the Indian Act, under the colonial colonial system, every time I would marry, my dowry, whatever the hell my dowry right was. would be transferred to my husband. So for example, when my sister married a Navajo, she received ten thousand dollars. Okay, so the price would go up based on the the the community that you came from, whichever like First Nations Ca you came from. This was set up by a colonial construct for dowry rights. So that when you d lost your status, you lost not only your your your community, your matriarchal system of support, your your grandmother's mothers, sisters, aunties to help you raise your children. You you were basically sold to to your husband for for a dowry right. And, you know, like That was the price of the house in those days. The law made it possible. Enslaved girls could not refuse. White men faced no consequences. Courts enforce See, again, white men had no consequence. Like I said, the first murder that happened when Calgary became a city or a town. Marina Crane (01:06:58.014) As a as a reg resignated municipality, the first murder victim was an indigenous woman. No consequences. So understand this: when a a woman married a non-indigenous man and the guy beat the bejeezus out of her or murdered her, there was no consequence. So what happened to their children? Like I said, even today in 2026. You have indigenous women who live in Metis, Inuit and First Nations communities because we do not have sovereignty. There's a Bill S sixty three or sixty two in Parliament today that is supposed to give us sovereignty once it's passed under the Indian Act that's law. That Marina Crane (01:07:46.838) You know, that they can they can take our children. They can put them in in foster homes, group homes in the city that aren't run by indigenous people. You know, give us our sovereignty. You know, why why again s treat us like like treat our children like fancy children? That they they get trafficked at age fourteen in the city. Like like you know, when I talk about systemic racism and that the law has already been in place there. And the d the more we're trying to get the unconscious systemic racism percolating to the top and calling it what it is, as social activists out there, young indigenous people activating our unconsciousness or or validating the when it comes to the surface and saying, This is our reality. This is why there's so many children murdered and missing indigenous women. It's been there forever and nobody ever gave a damn. Like it's part of the law, jurisprudence. Like it's ooh. It it it's it's diabolical. It's enforced the contracts, banks financed the purchases, the entire system treated sexual exploitation as a luxury good for wealthy men. That's how Epstein made his money too. After slavery ended, officially, the paperwork changed. The pattern did not. Ownership became arrangements. Coercion became opportunity. Silence became discretion. Fast forward to the late twentieth century, Jeffrey Epstein did not create a network of powerful abusers. He just built additional infrastructure. That's why I'm saying Nathan Chasing Horse just built different infrastructure. Recruiting by attending going to the Powho Circuit. You know, like making sure his his cult members recruited. And all under the guise of like this is the way indigenous men treat our women. Like I have I have indigenous Yahoos. Marina Crane (01:10:08.65) on Facebook saying, yeah, I could have ten wives if Christop Christopher Columbus didn't come here. Like like that's that's part of the narrative that that Nathan Chasinghorse used when he when he came in, you know, appealing to the sexism of our indigenous boys, our young men, not understanding that these are colonial mindsets that were set down in the in the guise of slavery. Call it what it is, you know when you have white people looking at us as if we're savages, stupid, ignorant, good for nothing, drunks, assholes, you know, where is that mentality coming from? Because they didn't have the wherewithal to know that we were hunters, gatherers. Like I said, ten, twenty thousand years of ritual and ceremony. And I'm only using this 'cause I'm a Sioux. of the sh Oshati Shakoi having a rare blood type as old like O type O blood. Because because of how we lived. Like it does that make us savages? No, that makes us vulnerable to the diseases of the Europeans. The in the blood. Like like the the the scrutiny or the uncanniness of not understanding This we were we were isolated for th over 20, 30,000 years. Our biology, even though we are of the same human race, our biology is so different. And because of that, the not only giving over 60, 70 percent of our agriculture to the rest of the world, it's also in our genetics. And it's also in how we see ourselves as human beings. So, you know, when you have people who are nar neurodivergent and and just the complexity of our mental health, it's important to really, you know, be we have to be kind to ourselves. We have to understand the whole nature of what's going on. All infrastructure. Marina Crane (01:12:15.514) He sourced vulnerable girls. He moved them. He insulated the men who wanted access to them. He functioned like a broker on an old market that never fully disappeared. Everyone knows just enough. No one important asks questions. Institutions protect reputations, not children. That's why, like even before the former chief and counsel, like the reputations. And and that's why, like, when I talk about my own experience growing up in lateral violence and misogyny, when I was f sexually assaulted at age nineteen, and and just the repercussions of the serial rapists who had were brothers or aunties or or not aunties, uncles or brothers or cousins of leadership. That they those those leaders made it comfortable for the Reputations Reputations, not children. Epstein w was a modern version of a system that has always existed. See, and that's the like the gender and immun immunity collide. Like y you know, just the keeping making sure people kept quiet. So th the system was already in place not to you know, shake shake the leaves to get the fruit to fall on the ground. You know, it's like be quiet, keep the status quo. You know, if if you shake the tree, then you're gonna have the police involved. And my goodness, you're gonna break up families. And isn't it bad enough that the men are losing their jobs and they're divorcing their wives and families are breaking up No, you know, like again, that's part of the colonial construct because it seems okay, especially when you're selling and you're giving away a dowry right. Marina Crane (01:14:11.928) for your your your the female to marry a non-indigenous person with no support. You know, they're okay, they've got a white man that's looking after them. No, no they don't. You know, if you apply it in your home and your home community and you're going, how are we looking after our children? How are we looking after our most vulnerable? How are we making sure that those have been victimized are being compensated for cruelty? mental health cruelty. The fact is like, where's the support? We talk about this young man who who committed suicide, the youngest professor at a university, a a young black man, neurodivergent. Then you do then I then I say, look, you you look at our the victims of Nathan Chasing Horse, the one victim that that is still alive today, who has had no compensation for the cruelty that has been placed on her systemically, lateral violence, for her to keep quiet. Where's the compensation for that? I can advocate and say yes. I did not have any compensation for the lateral violence and the cruelty placed on me by the serial rapist that happened over fifty years ago. Okay? I'm not talking about sour grapes. I'm using an example that it took me 20 years for me to take this man to court, another 30 years for for me even to talk about the systemic. racism or the lateral violence or the misogyny or the mansplaying or or all the mental health issues that were inflicted on me and why people think I'm complacent because I'm not taking part in it. Well the reason I'm not taking part in it is my boundaries to protect my mental health. See, I I had made a choice decades ago. You know, because Marina Crane (01:16:18.466) There was nobody there for me. And and that's why when I say where where's the compensation for the victims of sexual assaults within First Nations communities? I know some communities are very poor. I I know that. But but there needs to be there needs to be some sort of network that's in place. Because as sure as as you have cults, you have followers in those cults who are drinking the Kool-Aid. Who are doing a lot of damage to the to the very victims of those people who chose not to follow the cult. And for those people who chose not to follow the cult, where's the compensation? Where is the compensation and the validation for for the cur courage of that young woman? She was fourteen years old when he picked her up from the high from the school. Next the following week she turned fifteen. And just the h the horrific history, the psychological breakdown history of Nathan Chasing Morse. Like that in itself is very critical. Like it's disgusting. Like the reality, like like by the time he came here when he was thirty, the amount of it it's tragic. It's tragic to know that this man had followers who were drinking the Kool-Aid. And because they were complacent, the damage he did to children, the videotapes he had of what he did to children. I'm not talking fourteen, fifteen year old girls. I'm talking as some as young as ten years old. That's my opinion. If you wanna discuss it and you think it's vulgar, yes it is. It is he's put away for life. But imagine And I'm not just saying this from indigenous perspective because of historical context of human trafficking and the the structure that was already in place before I was even born. The critical point is we're not being silenced. There is a psychological entity that that emerges from from from a cocoon. Now, again Marina Crane (01:18:43.054) Who who's responsible? By the time somebody is my age who's been practicing and and exploiting kids and children and whoever the hell they want, because of again, they they they they're they're following the mandate of patriarchy and they've gotten themselves in trouble with the law and everybody's just looking at them like not him going, no, he was a cult leader. Understand understand things that have been happening. When I talk about ritual abuse, and this is what this you know, this lady in most of the context, historical context, when I'm talking about just just the nature of things that were already in place. Of a system that has always existed, wherever wealth, gender, age and impunity collide anytime powerful men expect access without consequences, someone will always be there. To build the supply chain. Epstein already had the interest. He already had access to rich men. He had a creepy charm about him that those rich men recognized. But it's just part of the system of America. It's American history. And it continues down that same dark path. And it's time for people to start talking about it. Get cu Again, that's what my podcast is about. Sometimes I was thinking of changing the title of the podcast, but no. That's the historical context of it. And and you know, it's it's just it's just the way things are you heard the story of Jason Arday? Or more respectfully, Doctor Jason Arday? Okay. So look that up. Look him up. He he just committed suicide last week. Have you heard the story have you heard the story of Jason Yeah. Marina Crane (01:20:45.004) Now let's see if I've got this one. Even this avoidance capitalism loves it. So again, you know, when people say, you know, geez, they should you know, the the this Indian residence residential school denialism and you know, th this was learn taught behavior. This is taught behavior. And and to un to unteach it and to to take a look at it. I hope this podcast has given you some insight. But the majority of times when I when I do talk about things, it's it's important it's important to understand. Sometimes these historical things that have happened to us in our life we don't really totally get it until until we take a look at it and how it applies to like our own brothers, our own fathers, our own uncles. And and the importance of of you know, why is it important to to really take a look at what happens when like say somebody loses their job or when someone is forced to be complacent and obey somebody because you could lose your job and your livelihood to look after your own family. So again, I know it triggers people that that this is the way I see things, but but it it's the truth. You know, a lot of times this whole notion of white being more intelligent or white being the most sophisticated or white being the greatest, i i it's it's staggering to to think that people do think this way. And and again too the notion that because things horrible things happen to you as a white child, that you can relate to people of color, when when the whole notion of like like I said, the reality that, you know, people don't wanna talk to me. Like this one lady said, We I knew there were Indians in my little town. She says, But you know, I didn't know like they'd disappear. Marina Crane (01:22:55.094) Like she said, I didn't know they were going to Indian residential schools. Again, too, this whole notion of like not not talking or not touching, not being in the same space as as minorities. That d does not say that you have empathy. That just means that you've had a privileged life and you don't understand the isolation, the the whole notion of what is normalized, especially if your parents or grandparents have been raised to be have avoidant attachment disorders or or personality disorders, all these mental health issues that neglect feeds into only because of the abuse that took place and the very fact too like why say anything when these these so called white people who were clergymen, just white people working in these in these in industrial schools or these Indian residential schools got away with murder. sexual assault, just cruelty, out and outbold misogyny, systemic racism, and and nobody ever faced justice. So yes, of course I'm gonna talk about it. Of course I'm gonna say something. Of course I'm going to, you know, say, you know, these things these things have been in place. There it's just You know, it it's a it comes at market value since you know for the past five hundred years. With the conquistadors, with with black slave trade, with the Indian Act. So what are we gonna do about it? What what are we gonna do about it? How how are we going to how are we going to debrief or de you know say, Okay, this is a dark path, we don't need to continue taking. You know, the the whole the whole thing too is that when we have people who are our own people who who've accomplished so much greatness. And then and then and then here we are, we you know, they're they're not only fighting systemic racism of people criticizing, white people criticizing them, you know, where's the support from from us as Indigenous people to to to be there when they need when they need our support? I think that's the critical thing here for me, i is to is to to look to look at Marina Crane (01:25:18.626) the common man, the common human being. I was talking to my cousin this morning and she says, you know, the criticism she's getting from her chief is is like she says the criticism of my staff, she the majority of my staff are from the community. So they have a vested interest because it's their community. And and the paperwork of of say following following the guidelines of under the Indian Act or the accountability for tripart agreements based on the the Indian Trust Fund. Like like I said, the paperwork is so entrenched and yet at the same time the new chief is trying to operate as a municipality when in fact it it it's not a municipality. It it is a structure based on people who've actually lived there, who are have a culture, who who have a vested interest in their communities. So I you know, I I like I said, I don't I don't know what it is, in some ways to to have overcome horrific obstacles. I I have had my own obstacles, yes. But sometimes when I read about people and I think about their lives, and I think probably part of the reason I want to do my podcast too, is years ago I was reading I took a philosophy course and I was reading the biography of John Stuart Mills, the father of liberalism liberalism. Also like even Shakespeare. Like I again, these are men, so I'm sorry, but I know if the like I said, the paperwork is is steeped in in in history. Who's telling the story, him or her. But with John Stuart Mills, what was so interesting is that he was the only child in a in a in a in a father who was steep into politics in England, in liberalism. And and so John Stuart Mills was schooled, like homeschooled, even when he went to school, like it he was entrenched in this liberal way of thinking. And and he became the youngest member of Parliament. Now understand this too. his life he married a woman older than him, I think. Marina Crane (01:27:42.584) But the thing is, like throughout his life he never consummated his marriage. Like to me that that that like I I always thought, my goodness, like when I tell people that, you know, like I I haven't been sexually active in fifty years, and I'm going, Well, what's so stark, naked, horrible about that? Well, when I hear a young man, young indigenous men saying, I've never drank or touched drugs my whole life, what is so stark naked about that? Th these are Our lives are our lives to live. And like Shakespeare, John Hathaway, he married her. Again, never consummated his marriage. Relationships with with with people is vital to our mental health. It's also vital to our creativity. And and for me, having and networking with with people. It has been critical in in in my own ha mental health care. And so a lot of times when I try to talk about healthy human sexuality, you know, I'm trying to I'm trying to discuss things that sometimes it's it's very uncomfortable for for people to to really acknowledge that these things have happened. The these things or patterns do not change. But it but it's how and what we talk about that hopefully will get people into the into the idea or the notion that some things have to change. Our our way of thinking has to change. Like and and sometimes maybe because it's patriarchy and and I use the I use the a reality of like when men are trying to regulate their central nervous system and say it has to do with gambling, pornography and fast foods. the the reality of it is like with with gambling you just stop cold turkey. With pornography you have to ease out of it. It's the same thing with addiction to unhealthy foods. There there are certain behaviors in terms of dopamine that as men you have to understand how to balance your central nervous system and slowly weaning yourself off in a say in a period of three months and then and then not Marina Crane (01:30:06.904) participating in these activities, like I said, what is it? pornography or gambling pornography and and food addiction for three three months. That you will see the change. You will see the change in your central nervous system. So it's the same thing with women, you know, and and people are looking, what? No, it's oxytocin with women. You know, like s you stop gambling, cold turkey. You ease off on the pornography. and you ease off on the fast foods. Same thing in regulating your central nervous system. And again too, if you have this avoidant attachment disorder, it's it's it's pretty difficult. And and even then if it's compounded with personality disorder, like a double whammy. And if and if again you have your bipolar, my goodness. Like that's why you know I'm not I'm not an expert by the least. And I I'm not saying there's a solution to everything. I I'm just saying the complexity of being a human being is so diverse. It's it's a it's a huge mystery. It's creator, creator, grandfathers, grandmothers, this huge mystery that's here for us to to engage with. And and so, you know, when I when I talk about these things in terms of everyday living and and what we are hoping to be capable and and be able to survive every day. And and I'll close off by by saying this because sometimes people when they look at First Nations in the Metis communities and they say, How can you live with so much tragedy? How can you how can you live with so much death? The four four years that I as a as a senior as a senior adult going to university, The question was, how many people have you known that have passed away in the four years? The majority of of non indigenous people in my classroom, there was maybe two that had had maybe two deaths in four years. and when I I I when I counted I said I I know over fifty people. And I said, Not directly, but even even in in the spy my spider web of socialization and people that I know. it's it's Marina Crane (01:32:31.18) You know, people say, Well, how can you how can you endure that? How c how can you even have some some mental health balance? Well I I use the story again. We had a death, one of one of the men a couple of years younger than me. My my a c childhood friend, she's a couple of years older than me, she went, she says, Marina, when I hugged his siblings, their bodies were just hot. And I said, That's their central nervous system kicking in because of the shock. I said, even for me, memory of losing people I love and those that love me and just the shock. Like I all of a sudden I'll experience this extreme headache. So I challenge you, you know, when when you do experience death, check yourselves in the sense of monitoring your physical health, your body temperature, whether or not you're going through some anxiety, who who do you call out to talk to just to have someone listen to you? I I miss I miss that. I miss I miss my mother. I miss her cooking me soup. somebody you know cooking for me little things that I that I miss that are vital in in releasing them because when you release somebody that means you're evolving as well. So I know I can go on and on about things but it but it's vital in the sense that everything that we think we're we can put off to the next day like giving up gambling. I I'm gonna do it. I'm just gonna go once a month or like like I I wa have never been one to go every day or every week. One week and I I I challenged myself and this other lady to go play bingo throughout the whole day. yeah like I I it it's it's it's the reality. It's the reality of going, okay Marina Crane (01:34:35.874) See, some people say, Well, Marina, how could you go without being sexually active for fifty years? You d it was just a point where I just said, that's it. If if and it wasn't like I I hated men or I hated like the attraction to men. It it was just the notion that I just felt there were some issues that I had. And most of the issues that I do talk about, I do talk about in my podcast. that that I had to do some self regulation, I had to do some self reflection. And and also just the amount of people that befriended, people that have gone by the wayside and just the nature the nature of of being present. That's all I can say is like when when I when I try to understand things and say, Okay, I can stop this because I had the ability to do this. And and unless you actually have the courage to to stop something and reflect back decades later and saying, How did I do that? I was so scared that I was going to end up lonely and isolated. A and I am lonely and isolated, but I'm not sad. And I think that was the whole nature of of why I promote this is because as in as women our biology is so different than men and and I think it's critical too for for women to to understand that about about the psychology of men. And and again we've studied that more so than men studying women but but I do think it's very critical and very crucial as as a matriarch. And and because of that, they're they're the system that's in place right now is isn't conducive to the mental health of men. And I think it's not up to women to to say, wake wake the hell up. I I think it's up to women for us to say we can do this without men. And and that's the scary part for men to understand. I know it's very hard Marina Crane (01:36:58.446) Too when I'm talking with a man and he starts flirting and I'm going that doesn't work. And the man says, Well, it sounds better when I say it. I'm going, of course. That's what you're comfortable with. That's what women find attractive. If you need your ego to be, you know, stroked every once in a while, tease and be flirtatious and you know, do what you need to do as a man. But you know, for me as as a woman it's important for me for men to make sure that they have boundaries. Sometimes I don't really know that I'm stepping over boundaries until a man tells me, I'm I'm I have a wife or I'm in a relationship because I'm sharing too much. And yet at the same time too I'm also very ignorant and not understanding when it comes to bisexuality. I Mm like I've like I've said, I've been in cases where you know women have thought I was attractive and and most of the times too when when this has happened is because I needed a place to stay and it wasn't because I was homeless, it was just the nature of the workshop or conference I was attending. And and the one lady was from New York and she had to leave early in the morning to catch her her flight out of Calgary. And this was at Banff and and she woke me up at three o'clock in the morning and I thought, my goodness, I'm snoring 'cause see, in that same time period I had stayed with a lady who she was indigenous and 'cause she had an extra bunk bed and I so I the next morning she she had to do a radio interview and the and so when she came back from her interview she was upset and I thought, What why are you like I wondered why she was upset. She's you you kept me awake all night snoring. Okay Dn didn't realize. Okay. No. She she she found me attractive. The fact that there was no intimacy, physical intimacy that night was what she was angry about. That same week, because I couldn't stay at her place anymore, I stayed at with this this other dorm where the lady had to fly to out of Calgary at thr three. So she woke me up at three o'clock in the morning and I said, I'm sorry, am I snoring? She said, no, no, no, it's okay. Marina Crane (01:39:23.502) She left and I th I thought when I woke up that that was really strange. Her waking me up at three in the morning. Why? Again, to have physical intimacy because they're attracted to me. again, so naive and not understanding or them not putting boundaries down or letting me know. but but it always has to do with anger, like they're angry at me because I'm not c I'm not I'm not aware of it. And and it's the same thing too with men. I mean I my friend had brothers and the one he was like a a huge Sasquatch, a huge, huge, strong, like muscular like like he wa you know, I go into walk into public space with him, people would be scared of him and I'd go, anybody can come to me, he'll defend me. He wa like he I mean, there there's horror stories I can say about him, but it's his younger brother that I w had been talking to. And I understand this too. These men aren't just like s you know, when I say single men, they they were fathers, they fathered children. So so for me, sitting and talking with them is interesting because, you know, I'm I'm thinking, okay, their boundary is that they're in a relationship and they have children. No, no, no, no, no. They had other things in mind. And so here I was talking with this my friend's brother. how you know, sitting in the kitchen table talking, all of a sudden he got up and walks out and I thought that's really strange. And so the next morning at about eleven AM phone call, I answer the phone and it's for his sister. He's on the phone asking me to talk to his sister. So I call her and I said, Yeah, it's your brother, Saul. And she gets on the phone, get this. He was so mad that I that I rejected him, which I didn't even know I was rejecting him. that he walked from her place all the way to the northeast side of Calgary, which is to the airport. That's like a that's like a long, long way to walk, physically walk. He was so mad, so enraged that I didn't take notice of his advancement. So like I said, I'm not like I may come across like I'm so intellectual and saying all this stuff about healthy human sexuality and human trafficking and Marina Crane (01:41:47.862) all these theories or conspiracies and some may think it's conspiracies, you're y you have the right to think that. But the reality is I'm a human being. I unless somebody actually has a conversation with me and and it could be because of of my autism too and other things, but for me it's that's a part of my own personal life experience and and the reality of like there there are some things that people just kind of think it's funny but but for me that that is the reality. I think sometimes like my relatives just think, Marina, you know, like you know, like why don't you try this or try that? And I'm going, no, nope, nope, nope, nope. I don't need to be in a relation of relationship with somebody who's coer has c coercive control issues. Little things like that that I see but other people don't see. And and so for me I'm I'm happy with my life. Like I said, it's been fifty years this fall. And I never thought I really, really never thought. I I had always thought that I would meet somebody, that I would settle I would, you know, have children. But but it never occurred to me that I would live my life this way. And and that part of the experiences that I've had are are important to be talked about to help other people who are struggling with how how they live in their environments. so with that I want to finish my podcast and for the young man who killed himself. Marina Crane (01:43:48.842) All all all aldred? Like my prayers go to him. A R D A Y Marina Crane (01:44:01.41) You know, it's forty one years old. Marina Crane (01:44:06.846) And for those who are grieving and You or for those who are just feeling isolated and alone and sad. There are again my message, there are invisible helping hands. Marina Crane (01:44:25.004) I think sometimes some sometimes it's harder for men to reach out for those invisible helping hands. And and and in in a sense it it hits home because you know I I I I do have feelings and a lot of times when I think about what's out there sometimes it's i I don't think it's easy for men to to reach out and show their emotions and I and I I think more so I think it's easier for them to disclose to other women but there there is a critical point where where you know you you need to disclose to to to others as well. That's what makes life interesting. meeting meeting men and women who are helping each other.

Impact of language trauma and systemic oppression

Here’s the clear, structured summary of your podcast transcript, grounded directly in the document you shared. I’ll keep your voice, your themes, and your intent intact while organizing everything so it’s easier to work with. ✨ Concise Takeaway Your podcast explores three interconnected themes: (1) the harm caused by white grifters in Indigenous communities, (2) women’s bodies, nervous systems, and the impact of patriarchy, (3) coercive control, limerence, fantasy, addiction, and healing. 🌿 1. White Grifters in Indigenous Communities You describe repeated experiences with non‑Indigenous (mostly white) workers who enter Indigenous communities with high salaries and a savior complex, yet fail to care for their own mental health. “They come in with these big… over a hundred thousand… and they’re pretending to be mentally well.” Key points: A mental health worker in your community was fired after neglecting his own mental health despite having weekly access to support. You highlight how white workers often receive sympathy for grief, while Indigenous people endure grief constantly without the same privilege. You call this pattern grifting — exploiting Indigenous communities for income, status, or spiritual identity. You describe white volunteers or helpers who even mansplain Indigenous ceremony, such as the woman who scolded your mother and her friend at Sundance. “We have a white woman… mansplaining to Dakota elder women.” Your frustration centers on: colonial arrogance lack of cultural humility the way white workers twist Indigenous teachings for their own benefit the emotional labor Indigenous people end up doing for them 💧 2. Water, Culture, and Dakota/Lakota/Nakota Teachings You explain how water is central to your people’s worldview: “Everything is tied to water… Sweat and Sundance is all around water.” You emphasize: water as life language shaped by water ceremony shaped by water the disconnect between Indigenous water teachings and colonial systems 🌸 3. Women’s Bodies, Oxytocin, and Patriarchy You share a TikTok explaining how female biology is misunderstood because medical science was built on male bodies. “All the information we have on our biology is from a male body.” Key ideas you highlight: Women regulate through oxytocin, not dopamine. Connection, pleasure, beauty, and co‑regulation with other women are stabilizing forces. Excess dopamine (constant productivity, stress, achievement) makes women sick. Shame arises when women shift from dopamine to oxytocin because society values male‑pattern functioning. You connect this to: matriarchy women’s historical oppression the importance of women gathering your own comfort and grounding in the company of women 🔥 4. Coercive Control, Affairs, and Emotional Manipulation You play a clip explaining coercive control as more than emotional abuse — it’s a pattern of domination that steals autonomy. “Coercive control looks for the pattern of the perpetrator’s conduct… what they stole: autonomy and liberty.” You expand on: how courts often misinterpret victims’ fear as instability how facing a perpetrator in court is a reclaiming of voice how coercive control appears in relationships, including affairs how women may unknowingly participate in coercive dynamics 🧠 5. Fantasy vs. Limerence You draw a sharp distinction: Fantasy harmless imaginative increases oxytocin shared safely among women Limerence obsessive strategic manipulative attempts to control or possess someone requires professional help to dismantle You use a psychology analogy to show the difference between thought and action: “Fantasy is the thought. Limerence is the action… the need to create your own karma.” You also describe: men becoming obsessed with you without knowing you your blunt honesty with men who propose affairs your awareness of how trauma bonds form 📉 6. Addiction, Pornography, and Nervous System Dysregulation You include a male perspective on porn addiction: “Pornography is a supernormal stimulus… desensitization, sensitization, reduced stress response, hypofrontality.” You connect this to: men’s dopamine‑driven nervous systems how addiction destabilizes stress responses how grief and trauma trigger dysregulation the importance of talking to someone trustworthy 🌺 7. Healing, Women’s Community, and Self‑Reflection You close by returning to: the importance of women supporting women oxytocin as a healing force the danger of isolation the need for honest self‑reflection respecting each person’s healing modality (like collecting rocks by the river) “Honor that… however she is engaging with other women, that’s her process.”

Marina Crane (00:01.404) good morning. This is August fifteenth and it's Saturday. It's a bit nippy out. And again, I what can I say? The air quality is still in the yellow stage. My podcast today is going to be a little bit of scattered, but I guess you're as you're my audience here know that it's a bit scattered. However, there have been some things that usually happen after I meet with people or I have some sort of epiphany on what I'm gonna put on my podcast. So most people I think and I hope that are listening when I talk about recovery and and mental health And and I look at people who like say Daniel Smith who doesn't have the concept of addiction and recovery. Or maybe she does, maybe it's a fringe thing, but but I think people need to really look at people who've recovered and and their skill set and how they did it and and even their their approach to the way they see life in general. I like I just get totally fed up again with non-Indigenous people and they're usually white who who come into our communities and and sort of practice like they come in with these big, you know, like they get this big amount of money, over a hundred thousand maybe you know, really outrageous. And and so yes, they have a mountain of experience, but they they what's that word I keep on grifters, grifters, grifters. You know, I I just found out like this one grifter got fired. He you know, he was employed within my community Marina Crane (02:02.254) lasted a couple of years and then and they found out like that he wasn't looking after his mental health. And yet that's part of his practice was to to help with programming and stuff. And and the pro and the job required, you know, like there's a mental health worker that comes in every week to to help decompress staff because of the high stress level. Yet this individual, you know, just it sort of like abandoned everybody and just took it upon himself to not look Look after himself. Okay, because his parents had passed away, health conditions. You know, I when I talk about indigenous people and like how many times we grieve when someone passes and people like white people look, my goodness, you poor thing. But the reality of it is like, come on. You know, this this guy, yes, you lost your your family members and I mean, I I could go on there was a lady that in her thirties she lost her partner after they'd known each they'd known each other from high school and then I guess they lived in p a relationship for about six years. He passed away from some sort of brain injury. And and she went on she'd started her own podcast, Instagram, social media, got gonnered about maybe 70,000 followers, all because she's grieving. Now, it's one thing when you come to work in a indigenous community and yes, you're human and you grieve, but the reality of it is like what did you think you were doing? You come here with this One of one of my one of my late parents, friends, his son, was talking to me and he says, You know, my parents they they just have this religiosity Marina Crane (03:56.003) He says, you know, they sleep in separate bedrooms and on Monday my s my mother would go with the girls and she'd get drunk, come back late at night, you know, when we're all asleep. She says, but that's how the marriage was. It was just a marriage it's one thing you have a married couple who have a difficult time with intimacy and yet in public present themselves as a religious, God-fearing couple. trying to promote mental health when they are having crisis in their own private home. Again, white privilege or or savior complex, some some notion like, I don't have to deal with my addiction or I don't have to deal with my mental health because, you know, these people don't know me, they just see the whiteness of my skin and you know, that old theory of like, well we're smarter than most people. Like people have bought into this colonial mindset that that when you have different skin color, it automatically reflects your brain capacity. it it it's it boggles my mind and it gets me upset every time I hear a white person comes into our communities either as a social worker, mental health worker, some work and and what are they doing? They're pretending they're pretending to be mentally well and and and so, you know, they yes, of course you give them the benefit of the doubt and they work for a while, but you know, it's a snowball effect. All the all the all the pieces started falling apart. And and now like this individual, you know, like the huge amount of income is finally is taken away. How much more devastating is it? He had years to go to therapy on the job site. Marina Crane (05:43.873) And chose not to. That completely boils my like boggles my mind, especially when you're taught that you're coming into an indigenous community and you're supposed to be there to help the indigenous people and instead what's happening? We're helping them. Not in terms of anything that we have to offer in the healing modalities, but in terms of financial gain, which really pisses me off. Because again, that's what they call it a gift shit. Grifting. Grifting. Ugh. No, it it's it's amazing. It it totally amazes me. Now the other thing that I want to talk about too is is a little different, but again too it it it in the same genre too like you know when when people ask me to come and talk about art or like how my perception or how my understanding of of like say the concept of water is life or sovereignty over our water rights sovereignty and in how before colonization like what what did it look like for indigenous people and the relationship with water. you know, the the reality of it is like I and I can only talk for the seven council fires of the Oshati Shekoi, which is Dakota, Lakota, Nakota, because I was raised in that culture that Marina Crane (07:17.59) Everything is tied to water. Even WiiA is associated with water. The language itself is around water. Sweat and sundance is all around water. The whole concept like this is our life. it's it's it's amazing how it encompasses everything. And yet and yet our whole value system in terms of school curriculum, even how people have accountability for spirituality. one One time my late mother and her her Indian residential school childhood friend her brother was having Sundance in British Columbia. Now my mother's older, okay, and of course they were sitting by the campfire, we're all sitting there having a cup of tea, and my mom and her friend th poured the the tea that was, you know, just the bottom of the cup on the ground. And and there was a white woman who started to mansplay my mother and her friend who were elders. This is a w arrogance of white women. And she says, You're not supposed to throw water. On the ground. And my mother and her friend Muriel, they just looked at each other just like because this is Mariel's brother's sundance. And we have a white woman who's supposed to be there helping volunteer, you know, mansplaying, explaining to Dakota elder women, thou shalt not. See, that's th to me to me that's the the critical or the my take on people who come into communities and really feel like they have the privilege to mansplay us as if we're so savage like Marina Crane (09:02.978) I mean they don't really know that they're doing it and bless their hearts. I've always been around white people and sometimes people say to me, Well, why don't you say something? I'm going, No, no, I've learned a long time ago that if they're going to create this narrative, let let them stew in their own fat. Let them suffer in their own ignorance. Because at some point karma hits them like a ton of bricks. And karma has to do with action. So when you go around poking up someone's philosophy or way of life and you're applying it to your life, but yet there's no collective and holistic approach to it or even history, then it's gonna bite you. It's gonna bite you where it hurts the most. Anyway, that's my little rant from the beginning of like my podcast. And I and I and I'm sorry that I ranted and raved, but but it it's just the notion that you spend so much time talking to white people, both men and women, and and then what happens is they twist it around for their own pleasure. They y like Like some of the podcasts and the TikToks that I've been listening to, as well, like there are discoveries of female anatomy, different things that that women in terms of healthy sexuality i is normal, but it but because it's all around the science of men, it stresses women out psychologically. So now women are sort of coming to this epiphany and going, my goodness, I didn't know. But yes, you know, when you think about it and you go, I like the Company of women because we're set up that way. Psychologically, we're set our our our hormones are set up that way. Men are different, but you know, try and convince a man that that it's different, especially especially when a a man thinks like he's really hut shit, you know, like he you know again. Marina Crane (11:05.406) I can't change the way women look at certain men. If women look at a man and think that he's attractive, that's their opinion. But th the reality of it is like some men like they just go, Yeah, I I know I'm attractive. I know women look at me. And I'm going, Yes, from your perspective, because men ha their their testosterone and even how they have pleasure is based on that. Whereas women really don't you know like don't need it. there there's a TikTok that I'm going to play of this this lady. She talks about it and I I hope you get the gist of it. At least all the information we have on our biology is from a male body. Two, when they did study our bodies, they found that the female nervous system regulates to oxytocin, not dopamine. So while males feel regulated and grounded and whole in getting things done and pushing and succeeding, women, female bodies, feel grounded and whole and regulated through Pleasure through co-regulation, through connection, through relational dynamics, through touch, through beauty. Number three, and this is the kicker. Dopamine actually depletes oxytocin in the female body. Science found that the more female bodies push and run dopamine pathways, it depletes oxytocin, pleasure, love, connection. So if you are a woman who feels that the harder you try, the worse you feel, listen to this. It is so imperative for every woman and man to understand and prioritize replenishing oxytocin in the female body. Marina Crane (13:07.502) And I've seen this so many times in myself and in my female clients, when you start to move from a dopamine pathway into oxytocin, the thing that you are going to hit up against is shame. Because we've all culturally valued dopamine and success so much, men and women need to both understand that dopamine in excess in a female body is making us sick. It's making us crazy. Feel disconnected and alone. The easiest way for a woman to start to shift out of dopamine and start to prioritize and habitualize oxytocin and pleasure in her body is with other women. We burn through the shame together. We can validate and relate and mirror each other in these new pathways. One, the female nervous system with So again. We're set up different and so even when you're thinking of matriarchy, that that's historical. You know, I I it's again when when I talk about the female and male anatomy, I'm going, where's the G spot? Now even that even that I'm not a guy, so you know, I don't have the body parts. But but you know, t tell me if I'm wrong. Sometimes people say the G spot is between in the scrotum, like it's between the scrotum and the anal the anus. and inside. So that little p pleasure part there it it it stimulates. However, another critique was that the G spot in the men is at the inside the the tip of the penis. Okay, so again, anatomy. mean I spent two years drawing anatomy at art school. Like it was just like drawing nudes. And and I always used to wonder, why why why in art school do we have to draw nudes? Sketch them like you have three minutes, bang, you sketch it out, you know, and the the model moves and Marina Crane (15:10.85) You know, I always wondered w why why so the thing is like because you're you're you're using formation, you're doing the lines, you're focusing on what's happening on the piece of paper. You're not looking at the anatomy and getting any type of arousal, it's just the focus on on drawing. And and again too like form and shades and stuff like that. So again too like when when women are are together it it's that connection. Connection. There's a connection and there's company, like you feel connected, like you belong to a family. And and again, the shame and guilt. I think a lot of times when men or misogyny hate women, they really feed into that disconnection and they really want the woman to be alone. And and like the lady says, it drives women crazy. But yet, you know, men want to say, she's hysterical, like in art history. there is a whole whole de dedicate there was a whole lesson about artists, male artists who just painted and s were focused more on the dis the hysteria of women. It it it's amazing to me the coercive control throughout history that men have had over women. And a lot of things too that that I didn't really understand too until like until the female nervous system was not until well like I started thinking about men who cheat and okay so here's the first the the last tape was from Anna v Vila V I L L A that was her on on Instagram. Now this next one sh her name is end coercion Dot so it's N E N D underscores coercive C O R E R V I C I V E underscore C O N N. she's explaining coercive control traps. Marina Crane (17:26.614) Now, why am I talking about coverse con coercive control traps or coercive ways of control is because because when I've talked to women who've had affairs And and they think it's like true love or like the the wife did not give a damn about her husband. He was sad all the time. You know, just like n there there there there is a re like I what can I say? I think a lot of times as women we got hooked into these things. But here's listen to this. You've probably heard coercive control referred to as emotional abuse or psychological abuse. And coercive control does include the emotional and psychological weapons, the quicksand model names, but the term coercive control is more all encompassing than emotional and psychological abuse. And the framework of coercive control was designed to point the court in the right direction. When emotional abuse or psychological abuse are raised in court. Assessments turn away from the coercive controller's actions and to the target's state of mind. Questions turn to the target's credibility, and the target's perfectly rational fear from living in the quicksand of coercive control gets reframed and recorded as instability or alienation. Coercive control looks elsewhere. It looks for the pattern of the perpetrator's coercive and controlling conduct. It names what the coercive controller did over time and what they stole. Marina Crane (19:17.174) Autonomy and liberty. If you have been assessed instead of believed, if you've been asked what is wrong with you instead of what was done to you, that was all part of the coercive controller's strategy to make you the focus so they could keep you trapped and prevent your escape. The words emotional abuse don't make the quicksand visible. But the framework of coercive control does. Coercive control moves the professional's eyes off the target and onto the coercive controller. Professionals, if you use it in your notes, your reports, and your testimony, you can help stop the harm, hold the coercive controller accountable, and hand the target back their freedom. I just like when when I talk about facing your perpetrator, especially in court, and and you stand there and you say, You hurt me. See it's one thing it's one thing to be afraid of them. But it's another thing to actually face them and and say to their face, you thought I enjoyed what you did, you hurt me. Not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, everything like like you you like this is the because again, this is a time when when you're given a voice and and you're being validated by the courts because the person has been found guilty. It's the victim statement. And and so you're breaking free of this co coercive control. And and the thing is like even if like I've never been married, I've never been in a relationship where I've had a like I've been a better woman. No, I haven't Marina Crane (21:16.47) The reality of coercive control is something that I believe as women, like for me as a young as a child, a teenage a child like a teenager and a young adult, and just seeing the relationships of women and their and their partners, like that that it was s assessed as being normal, normalized. So coercive control even in the sense of like it's okay to to that you know, you're consenting. Yes, it's one thing to consent to have an affair with a married man. It's one thing to consent to having children with this married man, but at the same time, this married man has a partner who also has engaged in having children with said partner. So you look at the man and you say conversive control. And then who's participating in this control scheme? That that's a really hard pill to swallow, especially if you're a woman and you've taken part in such manipulation and control. let's see here. I don't know if this You've probably heard Yeah, so again I'm let's see what this is. Feminism is not a Western invention. Feminism was not invented by American women, as many people think. No, feminism embedded in the culture and in the struggle of all women all over the world. We have to liberate women economically, social, psychologically, physically, religiously. So our feminism, we call ourselves historical, that's the slogan of our group, historical socialist feminist. Because we studied history and we understood that the oppression of women is not specific of Egypt or Arab people. It is historical. It is everywhere in every country. Women were rebelling in all religions in India, Egypt, under Indian, under Judaism, under Christianity or Islam. Women were fighting for their right. And we call ourselves socialist. Marina Crane (23:35.458) Because we are against class oppression. We are against capitalism. Because capitalism is linked to patriarchy. We are against patriarchy, not men. We are not against men. We are against patriarchy, the patriarchal system, the domination of men in religion, in economy, in culture, everything in science. That's why we call ourselves historical social instruments. And and and this organization terrified the men in power, didn't it? Terrified, yes, of course. It terrified them. That's why they banned it. And in fact, it was we were about to create a revolution. Because we had forty percent men. We were not all all women. Men were joining too. We had forty percent men and young men. Very enthusiastic about these points. Why were they joining? Why were men joining? Because they felt that men are oppressed by Patriarchy too. Marina Crane (24:40.832) No Feminism is not that's on Instagram and it's the spearhead. That's their handle, their social handle. And the lady who is talking, her name is N A W A L Capital L E L Capital S A A D A W I I So When when when I talk about like when I'm talking from an indigenous point of view, that's just because I'm indigenous. What she's talking about is all women. And so the generalization of like what oxytocin, doplamine, just the study, like the whole science of physiology and medicine was based on the male body instead of the female body. So the more women became educated and the more they started talking about what they've lived through and what they know about their bodies, you know, has to strike a chord with people. Again, because the woman, the first five years of every human life is based on the relationship they have with their mother, the imprint. And so if the mom is is under patriarchy, she's ra that child is seeing that. Or if the mom is matriarchy, the child also experiences and sees that. So so a lot of this deconstruction of self-reflection in terms of trying to like the historical parts of what makes you who you are today is important not just for women but also for men. So so that's why when I talk about when I talk about eliminating self-defeating behavior it It it's it's a part of that too because, you know, we we we we tend to have the self talk like I always do this or you know, the repeated language of certain vocabulary that we keep on in our minds. And so how do how do we deconstruct that? And there's so many gurus and mental health workers and you know, people who've come out of recovery and you know, I Marina Crane (26:56.534) I had a meeting about water and the one lady said to me, she was a an American citizen, she says, Well this lady said that, you know, they collect rocks by the o by the river and and I said, well that's her I said that's her way of healing. So you have to respect that. So what like I said, the practitioner or the individual who has found a stepping stone in healing, that's her journey. And if it works for her and she wants to share that modality or that process, then then you know, honor that. Because again, however she is in terms of of like engaging with other women, that's her process. I know it's it's really difficult too for me because sometimes like I talk to my sister. I haven't talked to my sister in decades. She's a very staunch Mormon. And and I made a comment to her one time about women. Like I enjoy being around women. Like in in terms of of the intimacy of just sharing. Like that again the oxytocin. I was like that's my experience. I wasn't talking about sexual physical stuff like like like when I when I talk about fantasy and then I talk about like like we'll call it limerence, there the the fantasy part is is is healthy. Okay. The limerence part isn't. So so as a woman, if you're if you're around like you're fantasizing and you're sharing the fantasy with other women, then it increases the oxytocin. Limerenance, however, is is more of the destructive side of of like obsessive, compulsive and like there's a difference because the fantasy is like just Marina Crane (28:53.834) having a fantasy of say having sex with person X. Limerence isn't about having a fantasy about having sex with X. Limerence is obsessing strategies to seduce, covet, manipulate, own and control X. Which again is based on fallacy because that person is unobtainable. And and the more energy that's put into constructing like this building block of strategies, the deeper the limerence is. That's why it needs a professional to help the individual who's constructed this fortress. Like they have to the individual themselves has to dismantle it bri by brick. If it's not guided and if a person doesn't understand it, they're going to attach fantasy with that when they're ac like the difference is the fantasy you're not acting on it, but the limerence you are. So, and again, I'll use the analogy of psychology 101. There's a very hard premise to understand, but this is how it was explained to me in basic psychology. A human being thinks of a child and thinks of having sex with a child. Is that sinful? Is that evil? Now, a person again thinks of having sex with a child and then actually does it. Is that Evil? Is that sinful? What is forgivable and unforgivable? So forgivable is the fantasy or thinking of having sex with a child. It's the action that is unforgivable. When a person goes from steps from this one construct into the next, that's the shift that I want to talk about, and I try to explain the difference with limerence. Fantasy is the thought. Marina Crane (30:56.384) Limerence is the action or the need to have create your own karma. And and that's the danger of it. Like because it can be s it it's so overwhelming. When when I was sexually active, I I I found it really discomforting when young men who I never even had sex with who would be obsessed with me. And I'm going, Why? You don't know me? Like I sometimes, you know, I've had to be just straight with men. And they w they propose to have an affair and I'm going, Why? I said, you know, you don't know me and I don't love you. I'm going to use you and abuse you and I'm going to twist you all out of shape if I have sex with you. And they and they're looking at me going, No you won't. I said, No, I will. I will like hello. I know myself. I know myself as a woman. I know what limerence is. I know what fantasy is. As long as I'm in this fantasy part of my life, I'm safe. But but if I'm going into this limerence stage where I there's no love, there's only coercive control involved with me or the that person, it it's not going to be a healthy, it's going to be a traumatic bond. Whereas whereas the fantasy part is is healthy because it's a bond. It's not based on trauma. And again, it's based on on open communication with boundaries and assessments from both people. That's why sometimes when when I talk about mental health workers or people who've studied psychology who come into indigenous communities at with this with this notion of fantasy and like, I've got this magic wand, I'm going to heal you here, tap tap tap go around tapping everybody as if he's healing or she's healing. And the reality of it is like they're they're living in the fantasy. And yet they're not looking after their mental health because in their private life they're in limerence. You know, it's it for whatever the addiction is, like a a white acquaintance who ghosted me said we're all have addictions. And like Marina Crane (33:12.374) s some can rationalize it away. for myself I try not to. I try I try to stay on with my feet on the ground. and I think I think for that, like I said, I enjoy the company of women because I get to talk to other women and and and either we jokingly talk about the fantasy or th there's something that like we're producing that oxytocin. Whereas men, I think men it's more it gets into the the more dangerous parts like of of pornography. And like it's I was a university researcher addicted to porn for fifteen years. This is how porn destroys your brain. First of all, pornography is a supernormal stimulus. There's nothing in this world that matches the level of stimulation pornography provides to your brain and body that causes four specific changes. Number one is desensitization. You build a threshold or a tolerance, and so you start to watch more obscure content and stuff that you never really thought you'd watch. Number two is sensitization. Okay, this is where you get cues and cravings. From things that are ordinary to a regular person, but to you, they trigger porn viewing. The third is a reduced stress response. Your capacity for stress and life in general plummets because your brain is being worked by pornography. Number four. Is hypofrontality. Okay, this is reduced circulation to this part of your brain, responsible for self-worth, self-esteem, long-term decision making, and all of that stuff. Now the good news is that all of these effects can be reversed. I know it personally, I've been cleaning porn for 10 years, and I've used some very specific tactics to help 1400 plus men quit pornography. If you need some help, follow my page from See, and this guy, his name is S A T H I Y A. Marina Crane (35:05.23) M-E-S-A-M. Okay, and so that's again, again, a male perspective. So I've been cleaning porn for 10 years. I've helped 1,400 men quit pornography in the last eight. And here are three ways that you can rewire your brain from pornography. Number one, you need to optimize your technology, turn off notifications, get rid of social media, news, any of what I like to call kind of the gateway opportunities, anything that you know eventually springboards you into doing the thing, get rid of it. Okay, get rid of it or tone it down significantly. Number two, talk to somebody, okay? The longer you suffer in silence and isolation, the worse this problem gets. We all want to think we can figure it out on our own and then we'll tell the story. You gotta tell the story first and then you figure it out after. Counterintuitive. Okay? Number three, charge your phone outside your bedroom. The most popular time to view pornography is between 10 o'clock at night and midnight, and 91% of porn viewership happens on the phone. So by charging your phone outside of the bedroom, you literally stack the odds in your favor of having a clean night, and more importantly, rewiring your brain from this terrible, terrible substance so you can be a clean. Now, if you're looking to go beyond just the initial rewiring, you want to live a life of freedom, check out my page I post daily and So again he's promoting himself, but th it's the basic premise of things and strategies to find like to balance your central nervous system. And and like I said, it it it's a you you sense it and you see it in people, especially like when people grieve, like you just your body just heats up. And and because if you're involved in addiction and and your central nervous system is is not balanced and it's and it's irregular, when when stress hits Marina Crane (37:02.474) when life hits and and you don't have the the like you're not balanced, it it it j it just triggers your central nervous system and and you're like in this flight or fright response. The the whole point of of finding somebody to talk to and again all this has to do with finding people you trust and talking it out with the individual. I know some people for me, I know when I start talking they get uncomfortable. with men and my talking to men, it's like I'm in a relationship. A and for me it it's like no, I've gotta tell you this because I don't trust you. So so for me it's like a process of like I've gotta trust this person, so I've gotta talk to them. Not and and the thing is with with this is the practice amongst women, when we're talking to other women, you know, we're we're we're establishing trust. At the same time too, we're also gonna be guarded, but but no matter how extreme or how fantastic or The fantasy is the reality of it is like I'm coping with this feeling that I have. It's natural. I just need to. I'm like it's like a roller coaster. You're at the top of the roller coaster and you're going down into the gully, and to be you know you're gonna be going back up on the hill again. So, like again, the roller coaster of oxytocin, it's it's the part where you've got too much dopamine for women. that that it that you know we we become unbalanced. Whereas with men, it's the opposite. They become more balanced with the more dopamine. And that's why I think when it comes to pornography, it's it's it's so addictive too for men. Now I'm not too sure if there there are some things too that I that I did put in here that had to do with other other topics. But I'm hoping Marina Crane (39:13.953) Some of the topics that I did post will resonate. So what happens when a target of coercive control finally tells somebody? Well, the coercive controller has spent years camouflaged to appear credible to the very people that they approach for help. Some call this the smear campaign. Now that term names the outcome, but not the pattern that created it. In the quicksand model, it's called the double team, and it includes the coercive controller's entire pattern, not just their final attack. Long before the target reached for help, the coercive controller presented themselves to friends, colleagues, and family as the caring one. In their false narrative, the targeted victim had a problem, and the coercive controller was patiently helping them. None of it happened in front of the target, so the targeted victim ends up defending themselves against false accusations they didn't even know existed. If people who once trusted you have gone quiet, and if you stop talking about your experience because everyone reacts badly, that was part of the coercive controllers strategy. Quicksand was made to look like solid ground. But once trapped, the harder a targeted victim struggles to be believed, the deeper they sink. That is what happens when you're defending a war you didn't even know you were in. Professionals, if you examine the coercive controllers' conduct as closely as the target's account. The record stops the war, holds the coercive controller accountable, and returns the targets dignity and freedom. Beyond the bruise, our newly updated free guide for professionals is available in our bio. Now, again, this is why it bothers me when I get non-Indigenous therapists or social workers. Marina Crane (41:29.184) is because they don't know they're also practicing converse covert or cursive control because they're they're blindsiding their own clients. See it it's so subtle yet yet at the same time like there are therapists who go to therapists because because there has to be there has to be some form of like how do we deal with stuff. How do we deal as healers, how do we deal with things? Especially The language that we use around sex, getting fucked, railed, drilled, boned, the fact that all of this language is incredibly violent and and graphic in this language is intentional. It's about creating the understanding that sex is a defiling act towards women, that when a woman has sex, she has been defiled in some way, she has been her her value, her worthiness has been damaged in some way. And it's about maintaining this order where men do benefit from sex, where men's dominance is protected as being the ones that are able to create that defiling that by a man sexually engaging with a woman he has hurt her tainted her in some way with this understanding women can't fuck if we are thinking about it in the sense that sex is something that is defiling women that through this current world order that we have patriarchy men's dominance whatever women are not have not been given the social cachet or the leverage necessary in order to be the ones that can like administer Defiling or degradation to men through having sex. And if the term fuck is like a proxy for that, then it isn't logical then to say that like women can't fuck. Women get fucked, which is seen as decreasing her value, hence a shaming around body counts and an obsession with virginity. Sex is seen as a defiling act, which creates the obvious conclusion that a woman would never desire sex. Why would you desire your own undoing? There's a desexualization that happens to women, an assumption that women would never desire sex independently, autonomously, because sex is defiling. Marina Crane (43:30.608) So like I said, why would you desire your own undoing? It's this weird way that we both hypersexualize women and desexualize them, where we see women only through a sexual lens, but then also don't allow women to have a independence sexuality. I'll quote. My new substack essay The language that So the her handle is P A Paris Prz Paris W E N D W A. That's P A R I S W E N D W A. When I was in my twenties, I attended a gender studies course at a university and it was a group support for just young women. And the majority of women that were there, at least like I'll say there were ten or thirteen of us. Out of that group, half were engaged. you gotta understand this was a Mormon university too. So again, this whole notion of finding a husband. Now why am I bringing that up is because even with gender studies, and again, a lot of this ritual abuse and coercive control o over women and children i is historic. Okay, so you have to you have to sort of deconstruct what ritual abuse is and you have to also deconstruct gender gender roles. Okay, that's why like when we use the baseline as bisexuality, that's deconstructing our gender roles. So when we when we in theory try to do some self-reflection as well as understanding like as this lady put You know, sometimes just talking about women having fa sexual fantasy is is a taboo. Like because, you know, we we're not supposed to feel, we're not supposed to masturbate, we're not supposed to, you know, engage in s you know, our bodies. Again, what the hell? Marina Crane (45:34.07) When I did the d gender studies course we had to do words like how many words describe women? Bitch, slut, whore, you know, like you know, like all that shit. And then when you d like and when you have to define men, what? Bastards? You know, like when when we lined up all the the words, socialized words There were there was more degradation, more of oppression of the gender of females in in just the language itself. So I really appreciated this young woman talking about this because, you know, it's it's one thing to make sex sound dirty and and for women to just like I can't talk about this because i I only have sex with my husband or or like it's like the control or coercive control over like you should not be talking about this with other women. Like like I said, when I so said to my sister that I enjoyed having discussions with women because I felt safe. Now at the time I thought maybe it was because I had been sexually assaulted like decades before, but my sister turned it around because of religiosity and said that I was gay. Now Understand this it even I'm so naive when it comes to bisexuality and I've been like when I say I haven't been sexually active in in fifty years I Like I'm I I'm not kidding. I didn't even understand masturbation or pornography until the pandemic. Like that's how naive I am. And that's the more critical thing because now I'm going this is it this is what our children are exposed to. Like like there there's a there's a catalyst of why I do this podcast. Because like I've been cloistered or sheltered all because of coercive control. Like here's my sister wanting to p have put me in a Marina Crane (47:40.362) Little slot because I'm not married, I'm not sealed in the Mormon temple. Like it's just outrageous that that, you know, because in Mormonism it's it's a taboo to be homosexual. Again, constructed criticiz like constructed a const historical, the history of of oppression. And it's not just, like I said, not just me, it's all women. That's why the things that cre give us some balance our energy, our central nervous system energy is the oxytocin, not the dopamine. So the more we connect as women and the more we talk about our sexuality, we become healthy. We c become healthier. And the more we we understand why men have this drive this like like I said, this I I didn't even know that you could get porn on the internet until like I said when until the pandemic. Why is it so hard to heal from borderline personality disorder? As a psychiatrist, the way that I explain it is it's because borderline personality disorder is not one thing. It's more or less three things. So a process of healing in borderline personality disorder involves a process of healing each individual thing. The first thing is a person's concept of self. To understand this, we have to think about a person's earliest life. Oftentimes, people with borderline personality disorder were brought up in a very invalidating environment. Not just invalidating, not consistently invalidating. But inconsistently invalidating in a very unpredictable way. And this was going on in a person's earliest life when they were trying to define who they are and how they relate to others. Therefore, they developed a very unstable sense of self, a very unstable self-image. Because it was hard for them as a tiny child to stabilize their identity relative to the stable identities of others because those others in their lives did not present a stable interactive front. So when someone is trying to heal from borderline personality disorder, one of the things they're trying to do is in some way stabilize. Marina Crane (49:49.696) Or solidify that concept of self. The second thing that they must heal is the way that they pattern their interactions with others. In that earliest life, when somebody has such a difficult environment to cope with, they learn to survive less than to thrive. And it becomes a game of threat detection. Now, when you're dealing with a threat, you want to immediately categorize it. Is it all good or is it all bad? If it's all bad, I need to cope with it to save my life. And that's why relationships for people with borderline personality disorder can be remarkably unstable, because their brain is automatically categorizing others as. As all good or all bad in order to protect themselves from the possible downside of getting that judgment wrong. That is a developmental foundation of something called splitting, or black or white thinking, which is a hallmark of borderline personality disorder. So part of the healing process is learning that nobody is all good or all bad, and that's a really, really hard lesson to learn. The third massive healing effort that a person would be making is distress tolerance. One of the hallmarks of borderline personality disorder can be self injury, self harm, or explosive and unpredictable behavior. But folks come by this Very honestly, because these are honest attempts to react to the true volume of emotion they're experiencing, which again came from an early life necessity to survive. It takes a lot of trust and effort to try other things, to rely on other people, to develop an entirely new system of distress tolerance that is safer and more taken together. This is why healing from borderline personality disorder isn't like healing a cut. It's a bit more like trying to build a house of cards on the deck of a ship during a storm in the middle of the ocean. But the beautiful thing is that. That the process of building that house of cards is the process of quieting the storm. And as a psychiatrist, it's a privilege to be a part of that healing every day. But as always, I'm interested in learning from you. If you or a loved one have been through this process of healing, what was it like for you? What helped and so that's Dr. Adam Howard, and that's his handle. So when I talk about limerence and I talk about because that's like the the the borderline personality disorder, it it's not as frightening when you say limerence. because because you can you can you can relate to to infatuation. You can relate to fantasy. But like I said, when when it bec when that fantasy becomes limerant, when it becomes an obsession, whereas whereas with with fantasy it's more of karma because it's an action, but it's a healthy action in terms of developing a safer a safer self. So so when I worked in Utah and I and it and the Marina Crane (52:19.246) thing is like I I don't want to say I accidentally stumbled into it. I'd been working with youth as a university student in northern Alberta and the reality of it is like there was so much promiscuity with the youth and this was like decades and decades ago and and the youth had to and see the the the youth could talk to us because we were younger too but they didn't trust adults because the adults were sexually abusing them. There was a a 15-year-old, tall guy, like must have been about six foot at 15, who was ha he he was having an affair with a mom like in her 40s. There was a young girl who I think she was twelve. She was, you know, like again having a being sexually abused by a twenty five year old. All these things these children talked about, but yet but yet for us as workers to even try to get, you know, to to how how would we say it, we couldn't press charges because again those children were tr we're establishing trust with them. And so whatever discourse or whatever they felt that they needed to talk to us about, there would be no support system in place once we left. Okay, so so like I said, it it was a really difficult environment to work in. And and as a result of that, I ended up that some that next that following fall working for Utah State Hospital with high risk suicide girls. And and a and and the an understanding like trying to understand this this whole point of Marina Crane (54:08.546) things that that like what like when I talk about identity and the self and like it's like it's not something with a magic wand that all of a sudden you're healed. The this is this invalidation of the self. And that's why when I talk about Indian residential school and I talk about trauma and genocide, I talk about oppression and coercive control. People who were taught this in Indian residential school, even when they were trying define themselves and get some validation, those those white people, those those people who were actually sexually assaulting the kids made a very unstable environment. And and those children were were had no definition of self. And again when I talk about balancing having the ability to balance your central nervous system based on thought. I don't I don't know y if you've seen the show what is it called Doom D-U-N-E where you have w fractions or planets that that are fighting for this this spice, that full space. There's one planet where they have these these logical pe people. They're they're sort of like the consultants for these leaders and and so they they're always st clicking and calculating. And And so why am I bringing that up is because they're they're basically trying to they're tr basically training themselves to s you know balance their central nervous system so that they could help logically help people who are in distress. I mean it seems obscure because it's a science fiction but it but it has some parallels to to this whole way of of thriving or we're not thriving and and what like the all all good or all bad scenario because that's what it feels like Sometimes when I'm talking to women who are so unregul who are so dysregulated because there's so much dopamine in them. I mean I've had to I've had to s ask questions like, what are you doing today? Or what you what are you doing what are you doing right now? Just at the moment they can't even comprehend on what they're doing at the moment they're talking to me. And I'm saying, okay, listen to me. I'm gonna ask the question again, what are you doing right now? Marina Crane (56:34.548) And and and you know, they have to think about them going, No You like are you are you do you have a cup of coffee in your hand? Like what what it what are you doing right now at that moment? 'Cause 'cause they've been s just just to actually sit and regulate your central nervous system and take a deep breath because you're so overwhelmed with this dopamine because you're looking for oxytocin, okay, as women. You're trying to find somebody that's going to help you and guide you through this maze of of de of like s like like looking at yourself. And and so again, who to trust? Like like again, this whole like it's it like I had the analogy in terms of mental health. One of the analogies like h this guy used the analogy of like trying to make a house out of a deck of cards in on on a on a ship that's being tossed around in the ocean. Like that's how difficult it is to to actually, you know, get like focus on your own narrative, your your the self reflection of childhood. So sometimes when I talk about accountability or consent, we have to look at the age groups like from five years under from five to fifteen, like d like in decades or or even in five five years. Like so the deconstructing of the self and understanding what you know what happened to make you who you are today. Marina Crane (58:08.788) and and the support system that you have in place. A lot of times when I listen to people who talk about limerence, especially women, on TikTok, I find I find that it's so easy to sell to think like, okay, I have the solution. And this you know, apply to this, apply to that. It's not that easy. Like really, I wouldn't trust anybody who's on TikTok who's promoting themselves about limerance. This is a very highly technical Process that needs skilled people, people like mental health workers who are not coercive control freaks either. You know, the the like I try and say to people, you know, they don't teach this in college or university. I said, but but you know, once you get like if you get your degree in in social work or psychology and then you want you have to get a masters to, you know, be practicing, a lot of times they weed you out in the masters program and and they and like they don't tell you. Mind you, you know, throughout my academic life I had I've had people, coercive people, trying to say to me, Well, you wouldn't be a good therapist. Not that I wanted to be. I am and I'm not, okay? It's just the whole notion of like that like I said, the Psychology Association of Canada is poo-poo, especially when you have indigenous people and black people trying to publish Papers about systemic racism within the mental health health construct in Canada. so anyway. Marina Crane (59:53.846) My my whole point in in all of this is like you have to shop around and you have to understand too, you there there there's more to to limerence or eliminating self defeating behavior or even tackling like like like a another analogy would be I've used a couple, but another analogy would be having a broken leg and walking on on it for a mile to get help. It's painful. The whole process of sharing your most intimate feelings, desires, fantasies with another human being is if you can do that and you can find trust and safety with that individual, hats off to yourself and that other individual because damn it it's so hard. Life is not easy when it comes to dealing with especially if you're a dopamine addict or an oxytocin addict. In other words, especially if you're male or female. just the brunt of it. You just you just have to deal with it because sometimes like everybody's got full of good intentions but when the good intentions are doing more harm to to the people you love and the people you care about you know what what can you do? a lot of times it it takes invisible helping hands to to get you to a place where you feel comfortable. And and throughout my life I've had that, but I strongly and totally believe that the reason I've had so many invisible helping hands for me is I made a decision. Like when I was twenty-three, twenty-two, twenty-three, I just said, no, whatever behavior I'd already established in my life of of being controlled coercively. or being targeted and just being sexual female and people trying to oppress my sexuality. Whatever that sexuality is, I said that's why I say the baseline bisexual. If you have that as a baseline and you're deconstructing your identity, then that helps you have some clarity into who you are. Because we are all different. We are not the same. And and sometimes it it's scary. Marina Crane (01:02:17.494) It's scary when you see somebody and you realize, My goodness, what kind of life did they live before you met them? And that's just a stranger that you happen to bump into and happen to trust. Cause that trust opens up a whole Like it's like a like a a magic lamp, a genie in a lamp. You rub the you rub the lamp and this genie appears. And and and you're like, I didn't know that was in that lamp. Again, I think if you do a lot of self work, a lot of s like understanding of yourself, your identity, what defines you in life, how things in life changed you And and again, how from being stable to like again defining your life as stability. Unstable is you're unable to do that. When you find yourself unable to do that, you have to have trust in someone to guide you. And and that's why I think it's so important for for people who've gone through these things, like like hands-on hands-on experience, that that it helps in the recovery. It helps in the recovery because there's another human being that doesn't have all the laureates of PhD, bachelors, all that. They don't have that. They are just human beings who are gifted with healing that can help you. When I talk about invisible helping hands, when I talk about being indigenous, when I'm talking about the whole notion of of our life that has been handed down in our cultures to help us, to feed us, to nurture us, it's validating. It's validating and the more people you trust, the better you have in s in in your life. Marina Crane (01:04:12.882) I'm I'm grateful that I've grown up in a indigenous community that that throughout my life I've known so many people, hundreds of people, that I've grown up in my community. And and for me, when I left and I and I'm was in the United States, it was so hard. Because I was ripped from my community and I did it deliberately so I could get an education. Not understanding, you know, exactly the forces that were dra bringing me back into my community. The understanding of the self is so vital. And and for for those reasons too, when I listen to indigenous people, young people who are advocating, who are activists, who are promoting an un an understanding and trying to educate themselves as well as others about systemic racism. It's empowering. It's empowering to know that we're all coming from the same platform. There are indigenous men who are who are fighting to self-determination of what they will not tolerate. Some indigenous young men have never touched alcohol or drugs. You know, some like for me, for not being sexually active, it's like it's like that. I just like What what's the matter? Why why don't people want to accept th you know what what we as human beings have decided how we wanna live? Because we don't fit the norm. We don't fit the norm of like, well, you know, you should be having an affair with a married man or you you should be you should be with a woman or you shoulda, woulda, coulda. It's hard, it's not easy, I tell you, it's not easy. For me I'm grateful for this podcast and I called up a friend of mine the other day and I said, I have to go to Costco. I Marina Crane (01:06:06.698) And it might seem ridiculous to you, but for me, I'm handicapped, okay? So for me, I have to get on I have to get in my car and then I have to take my wheelchair out of the car and then I get groceries and I have to have somebody help me put my groceries in my car as well as my wheelchair. I have to come home t take out my my groceries and like I'm like it it's it's a chore. It's a chore. So I'm like so when when I call my friend I'm going, I had to really really t taught not talk myself out of not going because it because I know how hard it is for me being handicapped. When when I wasn't it was you know, I didn't have to fight myself to do something. So that's that's why I'm saying the relationship we have with ourselves and other people is important because then they know what your struggles are and they know what your capacity is. So again, this whole notion of trust, I think I think for me, I spent most of my life just trusting people who were mental health workers and realizing, no I had to start trusting people who didn't have that background of being therapists or psychologists or social workers. I I don't know why I gravitated to people like that, but it but because of that and I and I'm not saying like they weren't helpful to me, but I put it I did a lot of work myself. And and that's that's the whole point is like i you have to do the homework. You have to do the homework, not in the sense of getting the instructions from the individual. You know. You have your gut feeling and you know what you have to work on. Marina Crane (01:07:59.264) Okay, so I I I don't know if I have any more videos that I want to funny 'cause I did a cla Okay, here here's this this is this this woman here is interesting too because here funny 'cause I did a class called Trauma is a gateway, kink as a bridge, right? So trauma shit, that's a good title. We need to pause on that for a minute. Trauma is a gateway. King is a bridge. Trauma is a gateway. Could could you just explain the title and what that means? Yeah, so for some folks, trauma can be a gateway to kink. Whether or not something that happened to you, you later on found that same thing turned you on. Whether or not what happened to you, you're now navigating that through kink as a way to now have some control. Whether or not something that happened to you, you're now replaying that same thing and re-traumatizing yourself, right? Because what I found is that when we were wanting to destigmatize kink, and a lot of it's like, okay, people who are kinky are not more traumatized than others. Valid. That does not mean that sometimes those two aren't connected. You don't want people to begin to think that it's trauma that's causing kink, but for some people it does. And we don't want to minimize that experience because we're trying. Not to, you know, we're trying not to re-stigmatize. So that was the reason why I wanted to have this conversation. For those people who does, you still matter. Does that mean that you're less kinky? Because it's data, it's just fucking data. We don't have to make it something else. We just get to know that this is a part of your story. Now, what do you want to do with that information? It's funny because I did a class called trauma as a gateway, kink as a bridge, right? So trauma. So that's That author or that social media is D O C Y U R O C period Y U L I N D A R E N E And again that's with TikTok I think. Yes, so trauma's a gateway. Kink is a Marina Crane (01:10:14.04) Let's see, trauma's a gateway, kink is kink is a bridge. So it's it's an episode called B-O-U-D-O-I-R after dark. Bordeaux after dark. So and s so it like comments instead of like instead of being afraid of situations that hurt you, your brain made it sexy so that it doesn't hurt you. one of the reasons indeed you never Yeah, it's just like some people I'm sorry, but I'm gonna use you know, it's just like she says, one of the reasons indeed you never n you're you never fucking know how people get where they are. jeez, so says like here, not not me wanting a five fingered necklace a few years after my abusive ex and dad on two different occasions tried to hurt me in the same way. So again and recognizing and options whether you show signs or your choices before. I hope like like I don't know, I just find it's interesting that like again, however you get well say your kink on by talking about it, it's important to trust the person that you're talking about your kinks. Because the kinkiness of your sexual life is the bridge to wellness. That's why I'm saying it's important to trust people. And there's so many invisible helping hands. That's why I said I think once I once I started talking about Marina Crane (01:12:09.28) or releasing the the narrative of why I was warning people about Nathan Chasing horse changed my narrative in the sense of trust because because there were so many people who lateral like in terms of lateral violence that I think I gravitated more to like social workers, therapists and psychologists because I could trust them. But the reality of it is that kink this lady's talking about, we need that kink. Especially if we we've come from a place where we've had trauma. Now, I'm I'm not trying to minimize my trauma. I'm I'm just saying there are things in my life that that haven't been very debilitating. There there are things in my life whereas I've seen met white women who've like I couldn't even comprehend how as a child they could have gone through such such things, such secrecy, such naivete about the self. And and then to want to help and be a therapist. It it it it just doesn't hold water to me. And and again, for me when I say the kinkiness about it is like th for the individual white woman it's it's the volur like voyeur the voyeur of of my talking about my kink and their like looking in without without ever having experienced that connection as as a whole human being because they've oppressed it. They've oppressed that trauma in their childhood. That's why I say when you start going into you want to be a therapist, they're gonna weed you out when you're in your master's program. And and worse of all, if if there's white systemic racism in that, you know, you don't even bother. Don't even bother. Go some go to some university or some other place where they will validate you because you're a minority. Go you know, go and seek out like Marina Crane (01:14:13.592) Like again, you know, just now, 2026, we have a Lakota doctor, a Lakota physician who who is trying to establish a medical school for indigenous students, so we can graduate more indigenous doctors. Why why do we have these things? Because systemic racism. Sometimes sometimes even when I I'm invited to talk to a group of people in in the art community and I start talking about identity and and what it is to be indigenous and and through ritual and ceremony for not just five hundred years, I'm talking ten, twenty thousand years. A and rather than being domesticated w like with the cows and sheep and you know, like stuff that Europeans had to live through, all the dark ages of unsanitary you know, like fleas and rats and plagues and even that hundred years where they had no drinking water and they all drank ale and so many generations of FASE and then they bring it into this world here where we've never had domesticated animals, we were we we chased our prey down. We we were we were hunters and gatherers and through ceremony, through understanding kinship, through collective and holistic ways of healing, we have developed and we became natural blood donors, O type donors. Our bloodline is so rare. That's why I'm saying the first one five hundred years ago, the first one hundred years, they killed five generations of our children because our bodies biologically were not set up to deal with all those diseases that were brought into the Americas. You even can look at historical radar maps in the Amazon of the thousands of civilizations that were killed off and annihilated with the jungle, you know, just eating it all up so you Marina Crane (01:16:18.488) You can't see it. All the pyramids in the Americas, all the oppression. Like if if a lie based on a lie makes you feel like you're great and that you've always been great and you want to keep on oppressing and establishing systemic racism without without understanding the root cause of why you were so intimidated by another like a way of life. We're living on a planet where a lot of things that we've sort of domesticated. I mean I'm talking European patriarchy is is is is dangerous. Look at look at the data centers and all the water it's going to use. Look at look at the oil sands in northern Alberta. Look at all the forest fires. Our our forces are brittle because of the dryness because our groundwater is being soaked up. Think about it. The eight billion people on this planet that that have to be fed because of domestic because we're domesticating our food, it comes into so many conspiracy theories, it's it gets sickening some it gets sickening. And and for me as as an elder woman who has actually grown on the land, who's actually had to kill animals to eat I I can't even comprehend our young people. I I the the the lack of critical thinking. I'm and I'm not saying just children. I I know trauma creates like a a barrier in terms of critical thinking. That's why it's so important to heal, so important to to tr like to s sensitize yourself instead of desensitize. It's important to feel. Even even to have fantasy. Like it it's important to live your whole life as the best way you can. So but I enjoy doing my podcasts and again I didn't realize like I have so many people that I that I meet that have been letting other people to come and listen to my podcast. So again it's Saturday, it's August, I can hardly see the Rockies, but yet I'm just glad that at least Marina Crane (01:18:39.052) I've had my breakfast and my tea and I'm gonna sit back and watch a movie and hopefully go and see a movie in a theater today. So with that, I hope you're doing well. take care of yourselves and remember there are you'll meet someone who's going to be a catalyst that's going to turn your life around or even help you nudge you in the right direction.