We all chose to be here. My mission is to be here!

Marina Crane (00:01.462) Hello, good evening. I know it's quite late. It's the last day in July. And let me tell you, if you still hear my voice, it's because there's still smoke in the air. And it was like 31 degrees Celsius, which is like what? Almost 90. I know people going, Well no, I'm living in a place where it's 110. I'm going, keep it. I am not a hot weather girl. So I'm going to do two video recordings of indigenous people and I think it has a lot to do and and a good, you know, observation of what things are what hap what's happening within Alberta or just in the world in general when it comes to systemic racism and white supremacy and especially things that happen in the States compound our experience in Canada. Why is that so important? Again, because you know, the Native Americans, United States, made treaty with the US government in how their constitution was set up. Whereas indigenous people, Metis and Inuit, like when I and First Nations, those treaties were set up with the Crown, okay, which is not like the Prime Minister or Premier's ca you know, it's it's not the same. So before I go on in terms of these two TikToks I want to thank all my listeners, especially the ones who've been visiting my blog. my goodness, skyrocketing to I've never had that many people tune in to what I've had to say. thank you. And I hope Terry and Marie are listening. Hello. Anyway, I know there are probably more people, but I really appreciate the attention because it's noteworthy. This is something historical that's happening as well as the insight into to complacency. Marina Crane (02:01.974) Now I am a senior and I go gambling once a month when I get my pension. And and I usually meet a lot of other women pensioners. So I'm going to relay what I experienced like la last night. I met this lady, she came to me and we were sitting next to each other and she says, I I live in a nursing home. So we sat there playing throughout the evening, and then she disclosed me We were talking I don't know how we of course we get on to the we get a we get we go into healthy human sexuality and then she says, I've never known any other man she says, I I'm really naive when it comes to human s like male sexuality. And and so I I basically had to school her in certain parts of male anatomy and female anatomy. And and then she gives me this ugly face and she says, The the old men in the nursing home are horny. Like she just can't like it's just like she's there to escape these these these horny old men in nursing homes. And, you know, I I can't like I'm I have my own home. I I I don't know what it's like to live with strangers in a in a little communal institution where the men are you know, think that they have some right over women's bodies. Again, you know, as we age and the attitude we have about human sexuality lingers right into when you become an elder. So that's why I talk about healthy human sexuality and and how important it is to to talk about it, especially as y as we're aging and the things that we need to heal with, or from Marina Crane (03:46.868) The other lady that I mentioned I met, she's rents in the city because her granddaughter i has disabilities and she was commenting on how much she gets as a pensioner, as well as like the foster care system, 'cause she comes from Sixaca, which is like an hour east of here. And so we made a conversation about how many foster children were from within Sixica that are in foster care and that the average age for children that are being trafficked is fourteen. Then I made a comment too like you know even like there's a bill being passed S sixty one or sixty two or just s two I can't remember what it is but it's going through to change a section of the Indian Act. Now for all those who are n who are unfamiliar with the Indian Act, it's law. It's per it prov it has prevented all these hundreds of years, well since it's its inception in the late eighteen hundreds, we had to obey them. And we still do. Okay, so so there's a law that's gonna change to get so that First Nations, Inuit and Metis will have sovereignty over their children. This is in the year twenty twenty six, people. Let that sink in. You know, when you have all these separatists saying, the society's so unjust, give you know, get off the cross. We need the wood to build a sweat so we can heal ourselves. That's a joke. and the lady she says, My husband and I dress up as Santa Claus for Christmas and and we go and visit the communities that bring all the foster kids together. And she said, I wish our leadership would come to these these gatherings of our foster children. She says, It's so sad. You know, because they're they're not ho in their home community. It's like Indian residential school. They're not in their home community. They're they're being raised by mostly immigrants who don't understand the history of genocide, or people who are just systemically racist. So so the children are sad. Now now for me bear with me, okay? I'm like I said, I'm a senior, I'm an elder. I've I've lived my life. And Marina Crane (06:00.62) You know, I was talking to a friend of mine since I've known since childhood. I was talking about like again, healthy human sexuality and how men sort of focus on indigenous females as something erotic and you know, some something to like, you know, create a fantasy about. but at the same time too there's also this dichotomy or diversity or or we'll call it paradox or juxtaposition. I don't know, but I'm trying to give a metaphor here of of how and why indigenous women are attracted to certain types of white men as well, or certain types of men. It's because our indigenous men have been raised to be really tough. And so, you know, we're not afraid of the exterior of, you know, men who appear to be really tough looking men. Usually in my case how I found out was w when I met a draft dodger from Vietnam, US a US s deserter from California. Years and decades ago. But but but I've noticed that in terms of how comfortable a r I am around certain types of men who I think a lot of women would be really scared of. I I mean I'm just saying I'm just saying no, you have a reason to be a s afraid of some men, 'cause some men are really bad. But at the same time too, not all men are horny old men too. So so that's the reason why like when I talk about the dance of intimacy between male and female and putting boundaries down is is vital because I don't think sometimes like in in terms of this one lady who's living in a nursing home, I don't think like like she has community. like say for me as an indigenous woman, I have community. Marina Crane (07:49.602) Whereas, you know, I think a lot a lot of times Like I said, when you've grown when you've lived with within a society where the patriarch thinks that women should serve them and then and then what happens when the you know, the male partner passes away, the female is looking for somebody to, you know, like give them you know, like to take care of to mother or whatever role they took in terms of patriarchy. And and the fact is like when your estrogen and all this change has happened, you you you are no longer complacent and you you know, you want to be heard and seen. like again, unless you have the support system in place, you know, it's important. It's also important to just get out and howl at the moon once in a while, which for me like I do that once a month. But that being the case too, there are some senior women and men who just, you know, it's it's it's really difficult and Anyway, in terms of mental health, that's just my mental health observation for for this podcast. Okay, now the two records or the key the things that I wanna share with you on my podcast has to do with how like how people perceive indigenous people in in just in the sense of of like when people are talking, especially like when when I'm giving a talk about, you know, systemic racism or just people in my community. So the first one is of two two men talking about something that they posted in social media. And the second one is going to be of of a Lakota lawyer who was instrumental Marina Crane (09:26.772) In Standing Rock that happened about t in 2013, 2012. And and he's a lawyer, so he's going to give a parallel. in terms of sovereignty and treaty rights, which which has a lot to do with what's happening in Alberta right now. So but the first one I'll I'll I'll play it and then I'll do the a little comment afterwards. But but again I had a a clip that went viral because I said, you know Italian us I had a a clip that went viral because I said, you know, we are not conquered, right? I'm not a conquered person and and what I was referring to was every time the indigenous people win something in court some land or some treaty you read the comments and it's like you fuckers were conquered you guys just we slapped the shit out of you and took everything yeah and all I was saying was we're still here we've been conquered you weren't slapping around shit we were slapping you guys around just as bad so and the fucking comments went nuts I know the video went viral and it was so hurtful and hateful what they were saying and racism was still alive and then somebody said not modern day Canadians are like the And I said, yes they are. Read the comments. That it that is absolutely laughable because like it's not only just online. It's like, man, I don't know how settler Canada can can live with themselves, you know, knowing that they they literally destroyed other people and their lives and their homes and their communities and still just go on about like it's nothing, you know? And Not only that, it's like they can't Marina Crane (11:06.892) They cannot stand to see us feeling good or f just being healthy. And then all of a sudden this white guy's in there, Well, why don't you go drink another beer then? Why don't you have some more beer? Like we can't even just beat. And then, you know, I got my best friend's indigenous I hate that shit, man. I'm gonna flip the script and say A lot of my best friends are are white people, you know, guys that I grew up with, Scottish and you know, just Finnish, whatever. And I always tell them my Finnish buddies like you're so colonized, you don't even know your own language, your own culture. But anyways, that's another story. I had a clip that went viral because I said, you know, we are not conquered, right? I'm not a conquered person, and and what I was referring to was every time the indigenous people win something in court, some land or some treaty, you read the comments. And it's like you fuckers were conquered. You guys just we slapped the shit out of you and took everything. And all I was saying was, We're still here, we ain't been conquered. You weren't slapping around shit. We were slapping you guys around just as bad. So and the fucking comments went nuts. I know they the video went viral and it was so hurtful and hateful what they're saying and racism was so live. And then somebody said, Not modern c day Canadians are like this. And I said, Yes they are. Read the comments. See and that's the whole point too of my podcast is young people have been experiencing this and they're talking about it on social media. But in my generation, like there was no social media. We had to basically hitchhike to different protests and get together as young people and walk down center center roads in some small racist town demanding that people take notice of there's no drinking water for the school. Or or sit in and say like we you know, we n we're not getting your fiduciary obligation to the medicine chest for education or health isn't isn't you you're claiming it's empty when it shouldn't be because of our treaty rights. Now this next one is regarding treaty rights. What is being described? What was described by Senator Dibble is a declaration of war on American people, on American families. What is Marina Crane (13:35.212) What we are facing is insurrection. And in a an attempted overthrow of constitutional order. When we take a look back as American Indians, we committed ourselves to the United States of America. We signed treaties with the United See and so when he's saying i the Native American, he's a Sioux, Lakota. Now I'm using this as a parallel because this is the same thing indigenous people that's First Nations, Inuit and Metis have been saying. We've signed treaty with the king, the crown. Not not a president, not a governor, not not a not the Prime Minister of Canada or a Premier of Alberta. It's the Crown Indigenous People are so even though he's talking about insurrection, it it is in the sense of what's happening with separation. And we swore to defend the United States of America. See, my father was a World War Two veteran. World War One like Indigenous people were They didn't have to serve in the military, but what this lawyer is saying, like we swore to defend and that's like the highest amount of people who who enlist are indigenous people because we we're we're defending the defending the country like in the United States defending the country that they signed treaty with. Okay, so this treaty does mean something 'cause it's has to do with sovereignty. Okay. The United States of America. Marina Crane (15:12.696) Forever. So as an attorney, as a human being, as a father, as a husband, when I see the integrity and the sanctity of the United States Constitution being overrun outside the scope of the law. See, and this is what Daniel Smith is doing. When you have people, leadership seeing like going outside of the scope and what he's talking about. Now it's a generalization, but it's it's a parallel exactly of what is happening when it comes to separatists or the way separatist people are thinking today. My opinion. Outside the scope of constitutional authority, I have to ask myself, what am I willing to give? What am I willing to give to make sure that our people The good people of Minneapolis, St. Paul, and Minnesota and the United States and tribal nations. See, this is the whole point. Not just in Soutina, not just in Treaty 7, not just in Treaty Six and Eight. We're talking about all the treaties in Canada. What is it that we're going to give? What is it what is it that we're going to do? And and this this again too, I want to reiterate this. When I say you have a pot to piss in that has to do with treaty. Everything like the first treaty that was signed by the United States was called the J Treaty, which declared them a country. Okay, and that allowed indigenous people, mm First Nations, Inuit and Metis, to cross the medicine line, the United States line, without, you know, like for i without immigration, without papers, because they acknowledge that that Canada was a country, you know, British colony that ha that had Native Americans who were the first peoples within this continent. Okay, so I'll I'll continue with what this lawyer said. St. Paul and Minnesota and the United States and tribal nations, what are we willing to give to ensure that we have the right to speak freely? This is the gravity and the weight and the magnitude Marina Crane (17:31.53) Of a very live controversy, a constitutional crisis that is disturbing the peace of all Minnesotans. See in this constitution, what Daniel Smith is trying to do is just you know, it's disrupting all First Nations, Inuit and Metis communities. So it's not only just happening in Canada, it's happening in the United States, and every time it happens in the United States, I I tell you, they do not have sovereignty. They do not have the third largest monarchy in the world, the oldest. They have a fresh new country that's what? Two hundred and fifty years old. Okay, so again, you know, what what is it what is it that, you know, that that we're trying to say is because it's treaty and because there are so many indigenous people in the world and because of all the genocide that's been happening It it has to take precedent over you know what people are trying to say or do when it comes to taking away our very sovereignty. Right now, this is no small matter. And like the nineteenth generation keeper of the sacred white buffalo calf pipe, Worvo Looking Horse says, it is no accident that you were born into this time, that you chose to incarnate spiritually here in this realm. In this plane, and my heart goes out to you because you have upon your shoulders and you have the commitment of tribal nations who've already banned ICE from tribal lands and have said in a lawful manner that we will not contend with the illegalities and the criminal seizure. Of constitutional order. Everything that they're accusing the good people of Minnesota for violating is being done by those that we trust to uphold law and order. But what is being described, what was described by Senator Dibble is a declaration of war on American people, on American families. What is what we are facing. Marina Crane (19:57.556) Is in insurrection. And in an attempted overthrow of constitutional order. When we take a look back as American Indians, we committed ourselves to the United States of America. We signed treaties with the United States of America. And we swore to defend the United States of America forever. So as an attorney, as a human being, as a father, as a husband, when I see the integrity and the sanctity of the United States Constitution being overrun outside the scope of the law, outside the scope of constitutional authority, I have to ask myself, what am I willing to give? What am I willing to give to make sure that our people The good people of Minneapolis, St. Paul, and Minnesota, and the United States and tribal nations. What are we willing to give to ensure that we have the right to speak freely? This is the gravity and the weight and the magnitude of a very live controversy, a constitutional crisis that is disturbing the peace of all Minnesotans right now. This is no small matter. And like the 19th generation keeper of the sacred white buffalo calf pipe, Orville Looking Horse says, it is no accident that you were born into this time, that you chose to incarnate spiritually here in this realm, in this plane. And my heart goes out to you because you have upon your shoulders. Marina Crane (21:55.03) And you have the commitment of tribal nations who've already banned ICE from tribal lands and have said in a lawful manner that we will not contend with the illegalities and the criminal seizure of constitutional order. Everything that they're accusing the good people of Minnesota for violating is being done. By those that we trust to uphold law and order. But what is being described? What was described by Senator So like I I want you to understand too that when it comes to sovereignty and even when say different provinces or states for that matter want to extract oil or put a pipeline through without having it indigenous people involved i is goes against the treaty right. Okay, so they had this huge ten thousand people from around the world camped in in Standing Rock in the Dakotas. because again they had wounded knee when I was a young woman. the s the standoff in Alcatraz, the American Indian movement when the f FBI and the agencies chased chased the activists into Canada and and how we opened our doors to our brothers and sisters across the medicine line. So so when we're talking about a crisis here, I don't think Daniel Smith, this lawyer Roth or or Sam Mareshi and all the cohorts, all the cohorts who are part of this spider web that this spider woman has we webbed throughout the const w throughout throughout the government of Alberta, changing the very foundation of of a fiduciary obligation at the federal level that indigenous people in Canada have been governed by. Marina Crane (24:05.172) I I use the example of Nietzsche Institute. My mother went to residential school when she was five. Yes, all the problems that she had. You know, we talk about hypersexuality, we talk about delimerence, we're talking about all these disorders, everything. We talk about this recovery center where you know, people think, you know, in Sudan, yeah, my my son's gonna go there. And I'm going, Are you kidding me? There are eleven centers that are gonna be in c in Canada, our Alberta, to privatize our health. Eleven centers, three are on for indigenous communities. I said and those eleven are supposed to look after two thousand Albertans? I said, Where in your mind do you think First Nations are gonna go? I said, when we have a population of ten million in Alberta. I said the fiduciary obligation was really difficult to even get and use federal money to develop and design mental health structures through Nietzsche Institute. My mother was one of the first that was trained in the community. There was a high a high dropout rate. Again, because the obligation was at a federal level and the paper trail my mother had to do in reporting, in budgeting. You know, in the province you don't you don't do that. But because it's a federal flu fiduciary obligation, my mother got trained and she did it. And the fact that they were doing this to help all First Nations in Alberta and even other people who came to Nietzsche Institute. Do you know too that Nietzsche before being shut down by Sam Mareshi and Daniel Smith at the pandemic, that that they had curriculum for for children who were aging out of the foster care system? You know, we when we talk about children's rights and you everybody go, murdered and missing. You know, and they go, well they just don't know how to take care of their children. No, we we we've been here thousands, twenty, ten, you know, I don't even know if people who actually are have come into Canada you know, like United States is two hundred and fifty years old, I think Canada is a hundred and something. Like that's I'm seventy four. Marina Crane (26:20.032) That that means like, you know, people who came into Canada when Canada was a country could have been like seventy-four years old when I was born. That's how young it is. And you have the audacity to think that the indigenous people didn't know how to live, and you took away all our rights under the law structured under the a name called the Indian Act. You know, a lot of young people are using so much to educate other Indigenous people and non-Indigenous people. But Nietzsche Institute tried to do this with indigenous people, elders, p their peers, to educate on on mental health. Because we had to have a spiritual component with it. So when this lawyer Arn Chase Chase Arnise or think it's sorry. what is being described? Chase Arnise, yes. When he when he is talking about like we we came here at this time, at this level, for a reason. We incarnated at this time, at this place, at this level, for a purpose. Now we have to like that's why I advocate in terms of just just the common bonds as human beings we have. And how a lot of times the misunderstanding of what matriarchy and patriarchy is, as well in terms of what mental health is. So that, you know, when you're growing old and you y all of a sudden you cannot function and you have to have be put in a nursing home, that that, you know, you're not running around yelling on the top of your voice, I need sex. And the only thing that'll cure you is that your sons bring in laptops so you can watch porn. If that works in terms of your mental stability when you're a senior, hey, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna argue the point, it works. Helps a person understand healthy their own healthy sex sexuality. You know, but it's important to talk. And I I enjoy talking to women because there's so much as women by the time they become older have have so Marina Crane (28:40.8) I laugh because I know it's a nervous laugh because what can you do? People chose to live a certain way and and because of that they they didn't have the capacity or didn't have the intuition or the the know with all or wherewithal to learn about their their bodies. like sometimes the conversation I have is like do you know where the G spot is in the man or do you know where the G spot is in the woman? You know, and the just the whole notion of how disgusted they are to be around other people who, you know, are so used to like usually how do I put it, usually this type of lifestyle is in in somebody's home, you know, the privacy of their home, their bedroom. But when you get older and you have to live in the communal living and you haven't your entire life, then there there is a problem. And and for me, what I say when I say about indigenous people, especially when you've lived in community, you've lived in communal life your whole life. you've lived collectively and holistically. And so a lot of times when well, I shouldn't say a lot of times, I I do believe the more we practice and the more we say things and try to get people to understand like what a fiduciary obligation is. Because it's a treaty. It's a treaty. With the United States when he's talking about n constitutional law, you know, in in Canada it's the Indian Act. As well as their cl as well as the Constitution. So so we have we we have this law, the Indian Act. And like I said, there are there are two parts of the act that are trying to be changed this year. This is in twenty twenty six. They closed the Marina Crane (30:30.89) I think the industrial school the industrial schools in the late early nineteen hundreds and then they stopped they closed the Indian residential school in the seventies. They gave, I think, women indigenous women the right to marry whoever the hell they wanted to, what, in the eighties or nineties? You know, what what it isn't until the seventies women were allowed to have a credit card or buy a home. That's that's a white woman. You know, and and the fact that indigenous women you know we lost our status. We we lost we were told we weren't Indi indigenous anymore. Like like what a shock. Especially especially when you have a white husband who is, you know, taking on the responsibility to educate, you know, indigenous woman who's never grown up around white people what it is to be white. See, I d I don't have that. I don't. I've never had it thank knock on wood that I came into this life in a community that is right next door to white people. So I've been around white people my entire life. hey, you want to know how different I am? Yeah, spend a couple of days with me. I I just I'm just grateful that that one white man did and that he got a taste of, you know, what it's like to be with an indigenous woman who is quite opinionated. And and again too, maybe in some strange position or some strange attitude, like the safety of like looking at me and like wondering, you know, what is it that I I see in terms of sexuality or why I'm attracted to him. It's because indigenous men have had a tough life. When I was in my early twenties my my late friend, she had some she came from up north an isolated indigenous community and she went to residential school, had all the things that happened in in residential school, was married to a very violent man and when she separated from her her partner from who Marina Crane (32:40.342) She married into Sutina. We were friends for over thirty years. I got to know her her siblings. Now the reason I'm mentioning this is because she had one brother who was like six five. I swear, you know, if anybody saw him come walking into a bar, you'd think Sasquatch just walked into the tavern or the or the nightclub or whatever the hell. I mean, he he was a monster. And and the reality of it is like, you know, I I knew like just sitting there in his presence, peep there's no but there is no way anybody's gonna come around me or try to mansplay me, boss me around, manipulate me, whatever. Like and I didn't know this. It was just like, you know, I was just it was just restful and peaceful. you know, socializing with him in public. Well, that's the the way it was too with this this white man who followed me down to Las Vegas and and it didn't really, you know, click You know, 'cause I 'cause I like I like when w for me being handicapped, I have to always plan ahead, like the timeline. I got this much time to do this and this and this. I mean everybody does that too, but but for me it it's taken a while to just sort of decompress and sort of reflect and okay, what just happened. And so you know, I I I do things ritualistically, like I I do things in ceremony and through ritual and prayer and gift giving. A as well as with meals and all it's whole ceremonial thing and I don't expect to go into terms with it, but the reality of it is like a lot of things that I that I try and teach about spirituality is after each each acknowledgement of another human being whether I it's always an embrace or a release with with creator and grandfather's and grandmothers' will being done. And and if that's the case in terms of letting go of of people I just met and releasing them Marina Crane (34:33.904) That that's part of life. It's like l like birth and death. You you you come and you go. So in hindsight when I when I look at my traveling with this white man, I I thought, it's because he's white. But but the last time I traveled with a white man was from Utah to Canada and it was decades ago and the guy was so racist. You know, we we drove 16 hours, he was so infuriated, he we hit a deer in Idaho. He didn't even stop to check about the damage in the car. He just wanted to get the hell away from me, take get me home as soon as possible. I and I've grown up with white boys like that my whole life. Like I said, I've been around white people my entire life. Just the the name calling. Like like those two men in the earlier social media clip that I played. You know, it's it's one thing it's one thing when you make a statement and you have all hell break loose because, my goodness, you're talking about racist. I'm not racist, they'll say. And and yet they are. So it's it's no biggie. It it's no biggie. It's just part of life. But again too, I want to reflect back on the Comment that the reality is all over the world there are individuals who've gone through so much, well, you know, so much trauma. I and I'd rather use the word trauma than than hell and heaven. Because with trauma, you're just talking about trauma. You're not talking about good or bad, it's trauma. And and how they've managed to find balance is i in their lives in terms of healthy human sexuality. That's important. And so so for me, g being following like him coming with me to Las Vegas and then just seeing people how they saw me interact with him was the same way my friend's brother, like how people saw me with him, the Sasquatch of a man. Okay. Marina Crane (36:31.63) Like he just didn't want to mess with me because here's my bodyguard. And and that's how I felt. And I didn't really it didn't really click until like like now it's what i May, June, July, like three months going on four. And and I realized, no, I I think the energy that I was feeling was that of protection. So that when people saw us together, it was just like, you know, it's like it's like when I look at back at it and I'm thinking, is are these how millionaires or celebrities feel when when they're they're in public and people are staring at them? and they have they have bodyguards and entourage with them, you know, knowing that, you know, if somebody approaches me, they'll step in and and intervene. Like that's basically that's that's what this this I call them Wachashta Washte, which in Dakota means good man. Like that's that's what he did for me. And and it's very rare, like I said, I I go into the city or I go places as an indigenous woman and as an elder. And it it's very rare To find a white man who would step in like that, to bring in that same energy as my friend's brothers did. And they were huge, strong cream in. You know, I just so that's why when I I say he doesn't realize just the gift that he's given me and and the fact that that he had no How would I put it? He he didn't see color. Like I I I I the only way I can explain it is when I was in high school, I I met a lady who was who had sight for the first two months of her life as a baby. And they had to remove her eyes or she wouldn't live. And so when I met her in high school, you know, we we got along because because she didn't see color. And and She told me one time, she says, Marina, and again, this is what this Chase Arnise is talking about. We we chose to come here at this time. And and my friend Lori says, Marina, she said, you're you're gonna be famous someday. And and I couldn't understand y her concept of what she saw as famous. I was I was just a young woman in my early twenties, you know, in high school. Marina Crane (38:47.232) But it it it was the it's I think it has to do with energy and you know, just what we've come here to this life to do and live. So whoever I influence in in in whatever way that sways them in whatever direction, that that's important for me. And and like my late friend says, Marina, you haven't hurt anybody. No, people people would sooner try to hurt somebody because they're jealous or they see something they don't understand. And and if I can give help to people understand what it is to be under the Indian Act, what it law is on at the federal fiduciary level. Which I know for a lot of people who pay taxes in the province don't understand that 'cause they're under provincial provincial system, which to me I I don't understand. I mean I go into school and I, you know, go into town, pay taxes and all that stuff. So I understand that much, but I don't I don't understand like I know how much money my sister has to pay for like just living like taxes and u u utilities and stuff like that. You know, it it's not like it's not like the forty thousand indigenous people in Calgary are living on the streets. My goodness, they're working, they're functioning people. So wake up, Daniel Smith. You know, the the the the ancestors, the grandfathers and grandmothers who who who worked and prayed to help their their descendants We are still actively doing this. We've been doing this for thousands of years before it we were even colonized. And with that gift, it keeps on going because it's not ours. Somebody said something about ant piles and and I use that as an analogy. And and and if you're you've and if you've never flowed with a group of people in a crowd and and you want to get out of it, you can't because the crowd has its own energy. Marina Crane (40:47.7) So so with that, that's the whole nature of what's been happening, I believe, in my opinion, since the since the discover and since the jump bombing of the atomic bomb. and and and good you know, people were wondering, well how are we going to live with it? Well well this is it. We're we're at this point. Like I said, you know, my ancestors for thousands of near years knew that any moment we could the this existence that we're living on could be destroyed. Just because of the vastness of where we live. And and and the fact that we we we use ceremony and ritual to to talk about it and to live it. And and then now today when there's so many thousands of atomic bombs and it just takes a few to explode in one place for for it to be equivalent to a huge asteroid hitting the earth. And and now even now look at the look at the climate. You know, What what have we done? how are we going to save this for our our legacy and our children and and who's who who's who's steering who's who's doing the manipulation and who's moving? You know, we we can't fight it. We have to let go, we have to embrace it, then we have to release what we've been thinking that we have control or a say over when we don't. This is creator and grandfather's and grandmother's will being done. If if you have any hardness or trauma towards me, that that's fine. I have no say over that. If I o offended anybody, it's it wasn't intentional. And at the same time I'm I'm doing the best I can in trying to educate people of what it's like to be an elder indigenous woman. who's grown up in matriarchy, around lateral violence, about around systemic racism, who's educated, who who sees sees women differently than than other like say white women see other women. I know that. I know that. I've grown up like I said, I've grown up my whole life around around white white people. Marina Crane (43:06.67) and at the same time too, there there are so many things, interesting things about other women from other cultures from other parts of the world that that make make life worth living in understanding how how they function as women within their culture and their society. Because we're all different. And and my my hope is that well white fragility doesn't doesn't destroy the all the work that the women have done to to maintain their like their freedom. But but with fascism the way it is w within white women they're they're doing it to themselves. And what what else can I say? You know, it it bothers me that, you know, there's this religiosity we'll say or ideology of being the the healer because because why you functioned in white society, being an individual. When when there's a crisis happening right now where we have to embrace the collective and the holistic approach and we have to release all those independent ways of thinking in order to bear witness to what's evolving. Not not as human beings, but as a living organism on this planet. Just like every living organism. Okay. I wanted to put that out there. I'm just really grateful that I've been trying to understand my own mental health and my struggle in the sense of finding balance in terms of like say addiction with gambling. I I do it once a month. I don't do it every day or every week. And I and again I really didn't you know, I've I've never grown up like that. the same thing with alcohol and drugs. I you know, my whole life, I can count how many times I've I've drank at parties. And and again too, the even when I say I have a bit of autism, you know, the on the spectrum, the fact that I haven't been sexually active and I know how many partners I've had in my life, but yet at the same time I can talk about healthy human sexuality because it Marina Crane (45:30.464) It's interesting in in the sense of looking at men and how they function in the bodies that they have. Because I can't comprehend like like how like if you know, it it's it's a it's amazing. I mean, all the science and patriarchy is all centered around men, hospitals, lawyers, law, all that. So so for me when I talk about patriarchy, I'm going, Yeah, I know, but at the same time too I just see the facade, the suit, I d I you know, and I and I know there's more happening deeper in there. but at the same time I'm going, no, I'm just grateful I'm just grateful that Creator and the grandfathers and grandmothers have blessed me with the ability to to feel comfortable around very dangerous men. Yeah, and and that I ca and that they've I've been protected by Creator and the grandfathers and grandmothers. Some some people, you know, whatever they want to conjure up in the sense of what is a healer or what is a spiritual person. again, you you do what you want to do and say what you want to say and you know, stand up on your pedestal and say, I've done this and this and this. That's okay. I that's not what my podcast is about. My my podcast is is there to raise the alarm that our our children are falling through the cracks. Like a like I was telling my my cousin just half an hour ago, I said, all this I discovered by advocating for my niece. For for advocating for my nieces and nephews. And and for taking care of my my elderly mother who who was in residential school since age five. And and and to have a close relationship with her siblings because I took care of her. So so those things for me as as an elder now I I started, you know, I took that position a long time ago when I moved back from the States. I had opportunities to go and live in Hong Kong or Taiwan. I like just like I lived in the United States. I lived in another country. There was nothing stopping me from from living in Hong Kong, except I knew that my mother needed me. I didn't know how much I needed her. I didn't know how much I needed my community. Marina Crane (47:59.606) and the people I grew up since childhood to learn about life. So so with that I'm just totally grateful for all these young people that I know in my community that are thriving, that are open and honest, and and what can I say? I I'm just so grateful. And and I want, you know, non indigenous people to understand this. Because they have this stereotype that it's so horrible to live in indigenous Metis or First Nations communities. It's because you're only you're you're you're you're looking at me with rose color with rose colored glasses. When I look at you, I don't have those glasses on. When when I see people, they they don't see that I can see their trauma. Only because I was raised around it. in a in a very like it it it would look like a really harsh character environment. But that environment was very loving to me. And I honor it by by talking about the dismantling of all the hard work of the grandfathers and grandmothers who came before me, all because of this separatist movement, all because of a country United States of America and and Russia. trying to be get access to to the oil that that's in Mother Earth. The very milk that Mother Earth has, the very foundation of the water with with which within what she lives is is is what what we we've lived on. And and to and to wean us from that wean us from that so Mother Earth can die. Like she you know, like again, I I apologize to to grandmother grand the creator, grandfathers and grandmothers because as human beings, we can die off. You know, Mother Earth has been around even before we existed and she'll remain she'll remain you know a a a living entity even when we're we're gone. Marina Crane (50:14.698) So so I hope you understand the concepts of what I'm trying to say. Because, you know, as we as we live an age, there there'll be a point where we all leave. But but acknowledge the reason why you chose to live at this time and at this place. And and what is it that you will do to make sure that this same way of life continues Marina Crane (50:49.59) Anyway, so much for for that. So again, I appreciate I appreciate the fact that I can do a podcast and and put it out there. And I I appreciate all the invisible helping hands. And and those invisible helping hands who came forward made themselves visible to me. what can I say? You love people when they come into your life and then And then you let them go. And and that's the beauty of life. Wopidal Midakya Piawasana, Creator, grandfathers and grandmothers, thy will be done.

People are depending on you

Marina Crane (00:00.43) Okay. Sutana just finished their celebration last weekend and it's Tuesday July twenty-eighth. And I did manage to get out about five or ten minutes of sun. My voice is still not up to normal. because again I struggle. I'm I'm a senior, what can I say? But I wanted to post some two tipped TikToks. And they're from like people that I I follow and I watch. And they're quite relevant to like the the the things that I say in my podcast. Now the first one will be Brandy Morin, who's a indigenous investigative reporter. I'd like you to listen to it. And then I'll make comments and then I'll go to the next podcast. Did you know that indigenous women are the fastest growing population in Canada's federal prisons? We're about five percent of the female population in this country, but we make up nearly half of the women locked up in federal custody. In some facilities, it's over seventy percent. And it's not random. It's not Or more criminal or whatever excuse this country wants to reach for. It's colonialism. Still doing exactly what it was built to do. Residential schools, broken child welfare systems, poverty, generations of trauma. This country has never actually invested in healing. All of it funneling our women straight into cells. And here's the part that most people don't talk about. This is connected to the crisis of our missing and murdered indigenous. Indigenous women and girls, it's the same root causes, the same systems failing us. And sometimes it's the same woman. She survives one thing only to be swallowed by the other. I know this isn't abstract because I lived it. I was 13 years old the first time I went to jail. Now I'm not gonna tell you the whole story here. I wrote it out in full because it deserves more than 60 seconds. But I'll tell you this. Marina Crane (02:23.896) I made it out. So many of our women that I met along the way didn't. And some of them I can still name. Some of them I've had to grieve. This country has known about this crisis for years. Commissions have named it. Inquiries have named it. And the numbers keep climbing anyway. I wrote about my own story, the women I lost, and what's actually being done and what isn't to fix this. It's up now on Indigenous Insider. Links in my bio. Go read it. Hi hi. So basically that's like she's a young woman. I'm a senior, but you know her story is generational, intergenerational. Yes, I lost a lot of friends relatives. they went through the the the system, arrested, went to prison. And and when they came out got into addictions, well they were in addictions before, and and just ended up being murdered on on on the streets of Vancouver or or just having the bejesus beaten out of them by their partner and and left to die. So a lot of this things that I the things that I talk about and what t this young woman is trying to say too is that it's historical, it's been documented, you know, people keep on reading books about it. And and for me when I have white friends who, you know, they they they want to be they want to be therapists and I'm going, Why? you know, at sixty five years old, why? Or and that's just not indigenous women, not white just white women, there's also indigenous women, you know, are same age, but wanting to go and get their masters and and help. But but the reality of it is, and I'll I'll use an example. I have two white acquaintances, one female and one male. Both drink. Okay. The conversations I have with them, like I said, the female and male Marina Crane (04:36.008) One has boundaries and the other one could have had boundaries but didn't. And as a result of that, this systemic the systemic colonial way of thinking, even though she tries to identify with it when I talk to her, 'cause she's a white woman. The other fellow, he's he's European. You know, it's just straight to the point, this is this is I can take care of myself. So the example was I was talking to her and she says, My cholesterol's high and she says, I've been eating right and I said, Well take the medication. She says, No, my my my parents took that and I just want to do it natural. Then I said, Well then and and again when when when people drink like they drink maybe four four or three glasses of alcohol a week but the but the research says that you know to totally detox from any kind of alcohol such as like four or three or four glasses a week for fifty two weeks, you you have to basically detox and not touch alcohol for at least a whole year. Now most of the time When I started wondering about alcohol and addictions because of my my parents. And and adults that I that I saw. Like I said, after in the sixties I didn't see it and then when it was allowed to come into community then I saw it more. I saw more of the violence that th you know, they say like there are some things that come out when you're you're you're drinking that normally it wouldn't come out if you're sober. So I suggested to her, rather than t detoxing for a year, I I just said, maybe just stop drinking for six months. Okay, obviously it's offended her because it's been going on two, three weeks now and th no contact. Now the the the other person, male, indigenous, when I'm talking to him about just things, you know, getting to know each other. Marina Crane (06:44.184) He says, I can take care of myself. So just in that conversation I know like okay, I d I don't need to talk any more about you know alcohol with him. It's just straight to the point. Now in in the sense in the sense of healing and the colonial constructs and what I think white what white privilege fails to understand, especially women. I I don't know why as women we we think this way or that we don't think that we need to establish boundaries with other women. It's it's not like homosexuality. It's just common decency about boundaries. I mean, we all have to practice it. It's like conflict resolution. When I was taking this course, the whole point was to practice open-ended questions. When when like for me, I know personally, this is my own opinion. I know I have a hard time asking open-ended questions. My questions are usually closed. Well, that means that I I'm asking you a question and I and I want you to answer in a yes or no. No fashion. Those are close-ended questions. But with open-ended questions, it it evolves and it evolves a lot of things in terms of intimacy. So I'm going to play this next recording, which is about the deep psychological impact or even the way in my life how I've had people label me throughout my life. And and so that's why I do my podcast because when Nathan Chasing Horse did come here, the the labeling and the we'll say grooming because like that's what I'm talking about. I I talk about my two white acquaintances and how they interact with me. Marina Crane (08:35.744) Now the reason I'm going to play this next recording has to do with mental health. And it has to do with just the intergenerational trauma. When I talk about limerence, this is I want you to listen to this. again, when when I do talk about therapies, I I do say like in order to eliminate a self-defeating behavior you have to have guided imagery. You have to have someone like like someone who has those boundaries in place for you. Now I know this white female acquaintance says, I can't counsel such and such. Yes, you can't, but the reality of it is like you have the ability to form boundaries and you didn't. Okay. Now the reasoning I'm saying that is because there is some sort of juxtaposition in terms of how white women see indigenous women. See see men can see indigenous women in a certain way too because a lot of times we're eroticized, sexualized. Now I'm gonna play this. Like I said, it's it's it's it's an interesting it's how how it's three minutes. And it's called Hypersexuality and Mental Health. So and and the reason I'm doing this is because it's straight to the point when I talk about therapists and therapy in eliminating a self-defeating behavior, because this hypersexuality and deals with that whole construct vi of identity. Marina Crane (10:15.874) Now I don't know if he c I can hear this. If he can hear it. I don't know why it's not coming through. Marina Crane (10:26.682) this is interesting. Say ten But we need mental health. Hello, I'm Professor Rahmat Hangir. I am a teacher Psychiatrist, and today I want to talk about a topic that isn't discussed nearly enough. Hypersexuality. It's a taboo subject, but we need to talk about it because for some people it can have profound consequences. Hypersexuality isn't simply having a high sex drive, it refers to sexual thoughts, urges, or behaviors that become difficult to control and begin causing distress. Or significant problems in someone's life. One of the best recognized causes is bipolar disorder. During manic or hypomanic episodes, changes in brain function can lead to increased reward seeking, reduced inhibition, impulsivity, and overconfidence. For some people, this can result in a sudden surge in sexual desire and risky sexual behavior. This might include multiple sexual partners, sex with strangers. Compulsive pornography use, compulsive masturbation, spending excessive amounts of money on sexual services, or crossing personal or relationship boundaries. Hypersexuality can also occur in some people with ADHD, certain personality disorders, substance use disorders, and some neurological conditions. Hypersexuality can affect anyone. However, in a disinhibited state, some individuals may become more vulnerable to coercion, exploitation, troll. Or sexual assault. When the episode or period of dysregulation passes, many people are left carrying immense shame, bar embarrassment, guilt, or confusion. Relationships can break down, careers can be damaged. There may also be risks such as sexually transmitted infections, unplanned pregnancies, financial difficulties, or legal consequences. It's important to say this clearly. Understanding the role of mental illness does not excuse harmful behavior or Marina Crane (12:37.968) Or remove personal responsibility, but it does help us understand why these experiences occur and how we can support recovery without shame or stigma. Treatment depends on the underlying cause. For bipolar disorder, moose stabilizers can be highly effective. Psychological therapies can also help people develop insight, improve impulse control, and reduce risk. If you recognize yourself or someone you love in what I've described, please don't suffer in silence. Honest conversations with the mental health professional can be life-changing. Sexuality can sometimes be a symptom of an underlying mental health condition rather than a reflection of someone's values or character. Let's replace shame with understanding, stigma with compassion, and silence with honest conversation. I hope you found that helpful. As always, protect your minds and protect your hearts. And bye for now. Okay, so the reason I wanted to play that is like. Like the hypersexuality from my own personal experience and and just how people perceive me i is very important because like he said, honest conversation. and again, y you have to have like a a therapist who who who has basically studied this. I used when I went to university I had a difficult time just dealing with like my academics. And and and I started thinking, why why is it when somebody you know gets an A and I've struggled so hard? Well it you know, obviously there are a number of factors with this. But the reason I want to go back to hypersexuality is that like the two individuals that I talk about when I I know I first met entered to this podcast, one male and one female is that well I'll use I'll use a a friend of mine. She's she's Japanese American. I've known her for thirty years. She lives in California. And her she looked she took care of her mother for seventeen years and her mother was ninety seven when she passed away. Marina Crane (14:50.504) So like with the aging brain and for me as an elder and when I talk to other Indigenous women or just women in general about s our sexual desires or our sexual needs, I I think a lot of times people just want to make us invisible. And And again, when we were younger, it was a lot easier for people who didn't understand culture or didn't want to look at the poverty behind indigenous girls or like like were poorly educated or poorly socialized. That's the stigma because again, you know, I have more respect for for this white man than I do what for this white woman because at least he said I can take care of myself. Whereas for her it's just like I'm ghosted now. And and throughout my life, like I like I said, being an indigenous female, it was a lot easier to be classified as hypersexual. and I didn't understand that. You know, just the way people looked at me, like But but yet like when I was talking to this white man, I said to him, you know, when I was younger I was I was promiscuous. And and then he says, you broke hearts and I said to him, No, this was a local this was a typical local agreement, meet a guy, we pick you know, one night stand, wham bang, thank you, goodbye. Never seeing them again. I said that was my private life. Nobody knew, nobody knows anything about how many partners I've had. Nothing. And I'm explaining this to this white man. Now I've explained this to this white woman too. But there's a difference. There is a definite difference because again, boundaries. Marina Crane (16:46.518) And I'm not saying that that I'm ho that I have homosexual tendencies. I'm just saying that that with women when it comes to talking about sexuality, sometimes it's a reflection on their own their own insecurities. Like so that's why I'm saying my white female friend has insecurities. whereas the the white man, yes he has insecurities, but he has boundaries. So having conversations with a with a man about that was was an exercise for me. And like I like I said, my my my Japanese American friend who looked after her her mother I'll use an example. Like I became friends with this white woman during the pandemic. And a lot of times when we talk it would be about seniors like in nursing homes where they bec where there was a high r a high rate of sexually transmitted diseases. And and the wonder is like, my goodness, like as we age, how do how for me it was interesting, how would I behave when I become older around somebody that I'm I'm attracted to? And so this white woman and I had discussions about like the like what happens in these nursing homes. And there were a couple of stories where this the children, the adult children, put their parents into a nursing home and the children were surprised that their mother became very promiscuous and started sleeping around with the the the men within the nursing home. That that they just couldn't believe that that was their mother. Okay, but I'm saying too, like it has to do with how women I think how women throughout their life like I said, every ten years we sort of we change our identities and how we evolve to who we are by the time we're elderly. Another example was there was an elderly man Marina Crane (18:50.52) He, you know, th his son was called in and they told his their son, Well, we have a problem with your father. He was in the dining room and he got up and he yelled to everybody in the dining room, I need to have sex. And the solution for that was they got him an iPad and they put it on pornography, and that settled him. So so those those types of observations, especially with the aging mind and again because of hormones and how people throughout their lives handle things. So so for me, I try and say to people, I haven't had children, so those hormones and that instinct to to mother, I I've never experienced that. I've I've never had the urge to have children, because it seems like when once a woman delivers a baby, that that that whole whole hormone activity of losing yourself within that child for five years, rebuilding your body and your psyche. Like I've never experienced that. So so for me, even when I'm I can see like when I'm a senior in a nursing home, if knock on wood, that that, you know, I I I do need to talk about things, you ho healthy human sexuality because again, we don't know what life has in store for us. And and for me, part part of understanding who I am ha has a lot to do with lateral violence. And I think that's why my white female friend just didn't have boundaries with me. And and that's the key thing here when I talk about mental health workers, social workers, people who are not indigenous, who well say doctors, lawyers, mayors, and presidents. Like my friend in in California and her ninety-seven year old mother, she was t saying to me, I have such a hard time getting her to do physiotherapy. Arguing, arguing, you know, like dementia, Alzheimer's, whatever. It was just a chore to get her mother to do a little bit of exercise every day. Marina Crane (21:07.574) So I was doing a video conference call with her and she said to me, Marina, do you see my mom in the background? Sure enough, you know, I saw her her mother, 97 years old, walking in the hallway back and forth, you know, into the living room and back into the kitchen. She says, Marina, look at how active she is. She won't do that for me. She says, You know why she's doing that? Because her physiotherapist came here and he's a handsome young man. And so I reflect on that in terms of as we age, the when we see some some someone that we're attracted to that sexually arouses us, we can't turn it off. And and for me, when I'm around men and they have boundaries, then at least I know like they respect me. Because it's one thing for for me to sort of like to say, like they know that I I find them attractive, but but it's not a question of my being promiscuous. And and so because again, that label was fifty years ago. But it's it's the the change or the evolution of how outsiders will say the voyeur or the colonists look at indigenous women. So for example, like my friend, my Japanese friend, I met her in Utah. And and again too because I was being sexualized and the pressure to to like not be sexual because this is a Mormon community. And the the rigidity of you have to get married in the Mormon temple, you have to go on a mission like La Dida, the pressure was so great. And I I use the excuse that I like this football player and 'cause it's a normal behavior when you're infatuated with someone. And I thought if I had him as my narrative Marina Crane (23:07.554) where they would back off and leave me alone trying to set me up or get me to date like them or find a husband like as a conversation piece because there were certain taboos you couldn't talk about in in that kind of a cult environment. That's how I met my friend in California. So when I talked to her about the fact that I was very happy to have seen how her mother at ninety-seven was still a sexual human being. And and and again this white man that I'm talking about with boundaries consistently saying I have a wife. And and for you know, a couple of years, three years, like it the boundaries were in place. So anytime there was things that I believed that I needed he needed to put boundaries down, it was this a dance of intimacy where I knew those were boundaries. And and so like with my white fr female friend, the whole part of her just struggling to make things and have like some independence, it it sort of like like for me, I've gone through so many friends, like so many friends throughout my life. And and then I have friends who I've known for thirty years, I've known I have friends from childhood and and and then I have new newfound friends as well. So so I've really been due diligent when it comes to socializing. Marina Crane (24:42.841) And and so my this white man says to me, You're quite active, you're more active than my parents. Well because I've I've had to I've had to do all these social constructs of intimacy with with people because I'm alone. Now Why why is this so important when it comes to hypersexuality? Well, again, because because I've been a l around a lot of older women than myself who were hypersexual, but without boundaries, like from healthy men, they the dance of intimacy and boundaries they they they haven't practiced it. And and so they this infatuation becomes limerant. And it's this hypersexuality that's limerant based on whatever psychological or physiological problem the individual has is multi-complex. That's why you have this psychiatrist talking about this is a taboo issue, but we need to talk about it. And and and that's the origin too of people looking at indigenous women, girls, older, middle c middle aged and even elderly as hypersexual. Because if n the reason I'm this is my concept, this is my opinion. The reason for that is if that were not the case, this white woman who I hoped would ha she wanted to know impro she was talking about what is it that can lower her cholesterol and I said just take a break from drinking alcohol for six months and see if that's see if that's what's prompting this what do call the tet the c cholesterol to increase in your system boundaries. she just ghosted me. And and so I I she introduced me to a friend of hers that she stays with and they were talking about their their youth, like how how promiscuous they were. And for me, promiscuity as an indigenous woman Marina Crane (26:55.681) you sort of get classified as being hypersexual and having all this mental health problems. Whereas with with white women it it's it's not seen that way. But yet but yet now when they're elderly there there is there's do like there's conversation that that need to be said because because again we're as human beings, male and female, we cannot shut off who we're attracted to. Even when you're in a committed relationship, the boundaries that you set in place when you meet someone you're attracted to is you just say, I'm married, or I I have a partner, I'm or I'm involved. Boundaries are important. Now, even in hypersexuality and the manipulation and the bullying or the gaslighting, all these psychological terms of of deviant behavior and I shouldn't say deviant behavior, self-defeating behavior is more appropriate because because the hypersexuality creates a a self-defeating behavior when it comes to the central nervous system. So for example, and I think I've reiterated this in my previous bod podcast, was that when when if you give up for three months, if you give up what's the first one? gambling we'll say. And and say you give up pornography and you give up eating junk food for three months. Like you slowly wean yourself off and you give it up for three months. Your your nervous system starts balancing out. I mean it seems so simple but but because we're we've we've had this central nervous system in place for decades or sometimes we've evolved. Marina Crane (28:50.175) And and this is the critical thing here, that's why I want people to listen to this. For me, I'm 74. I haven't been sexually active for 49 years, going on 50 years this coming October. Any kind of sexual deviancy or any kind of self-defeating behavior, anything to do with hypersexuality, hey, how many years Don't classify me or stereotype me or put me in a box of hypersexuality. See, and that's the danger because this white woman and her friend, and I don't know who else she's talked to, have put me in there, and these women are academic. There was a a friend of hers who's a professor and her husband died. Patriarchy. And and she's so like she's got anxiety, she's afraid of being alone and she's gonna die alone. Like that's the same connection that I had with this white woman when when the pandemic came. What's gonna happen s you know, if if I die in this apartment, who's gonna find me? And so we had conversation about living alone. Now I'm not her therapist, I'm just being myself. And again too, I'm learning about boundaries as well. That's why I'm doing this podcast. So the reality of it is like with both, with all human beings, male or female, whether you're heterosexual or homosexual, whatever sexual orientation you pronouns, nouns that you call yourself, boundaries exist in every level. Every level. So the reality of it is that, you know, when a woman chooses to have children or chooses not to. And how they engage every ten years in their life, whether or not they they want to remain sexual. Like it's it's a really interesting dichotomy or cross section, or we'll call it like an autopsy of d deconstructing our our sexual lineage. Individuals, self reflection. Like a Marina Crane (31:09.683) As much as as this white woman wants to be a therapist, the whole nature that she's offended because I brought up a cognitive solution that she could either take or not take. But if it wa but if it triggered her like like it triggered this white man, all she had to say was I can take care of myself. And and I would have just dropped it. But no. There there had to be some convoluted understanding of why it was so offensive for me as an indigenous elderly woman, giving her, you know, a solution that I thought might be interesting for her to test out because she didn't want to have any medication. So, you know, people self soothe with alcohol. They think it's you know, it like again, central nervous system. If you want to balance your central nervous system, then you need to slowly wean yourself off of things that your central nervous system has been attached to. And and when you're doing hypersexuality and you choose to be promiscuous, from from like a teenager to young adult to middle, like as you grow and you're still promiscuous, it it is a bit concerning in the sense that. you haven't done that that autopsy on your own sexual identity and your own sexual needs and your own self respect in how you talk to another human being about what life means to you. Like I and I and again I apologize to my podcast listeners because, you know, for for years I just chose to just you know like not really deal with the probability or the concept that I could become sexual any time. Now as I'm aging, okay, and I hear all these stories about elderly people in nursing homes. You know, this is concerning as for me as an individual. And and so this white man that came into my life about three years ago, at the time I was dealing with this attraction. Marina Crane (33:35.008) I had known a fellow for thirty years and again, you know, it it it just bothered me that he was that again, these boundaries or lack of boundaries he he was separating from his partner for who he'd been with for thirty-five years. And I just thought what is it that he sees in me? And and again, there was a lot of things that he kept secret, but yet when it came time for me to become public about what I had been doing for twenty years. He wanted to to be a part of that. He wanted to have his name in newsprint or be interviewed. Like like and and it it really bothered me that that you know in the colonial set I was nothing until this issue of Nathan chasing horse came up. All of a sudden here's this white man saying, I'm here. And and the same with my white therapist or my you know, just people in general that were not indigenous and some indigenous too. And and it it really struck a chord with me because I've never had that type of attention before. But it but it was a false attention. And I knew that. I I knew I had to put boundaries down. And even like in March and April when I said I went down to Las Vegas, I didn't want anybody to know that I was going down there. Again this whole psychology of s of hypersexuality, the lateral violence of putting me in a in a in a a label that this woman was hypersexual when she was you know in her late teens and and you know the lateral violence of keeping me in that loop. It's hard for me to to to be seen. And the reason I do this podcast and I talk about this white man with boundaries is because he saw me. It's at the same t at the same time too. I made no like there was no pretense that that like he's just like I'm gonna treat him like like my son or my tr my neighbor or my boss or there was no it was just man and woman talking. And and sure. Marina Crane (35:59.744) He's you know, he's he he he reminded me of of s some some of my former sex well, I shouldn't say some, but what I'm trying to get at is I was open. I I wasn't saying, I'm too old to be sexually active. I was open and the reality is like I said, through the times we had conversation there was always clear boundaries, I'm in a relationship. So it was you it was quite evident. But yet I had to I I I need I really needed to talk to him. And and the fact that he saw me and he had some closure in Las Vegas with this case. Now when I talk to other women, non indigenous women or even women, the and I talk to them about this lack of boundary, the majority of in d of women say, Well, Marina You know, we we have friends and then and then they they c leave out of our life and I said, Yes, my whole life I've had that. I've had close friends and then and then they th you know, they they they're no longer there. There's just a select few that I've known my whole life or I've reconnected and will still connect with them. But the one saving I think the one saving grace of this whole damn dynamics is family. So even if your siblings treat you like shit, they're still your siblings. You know, they're still gonna grieve over you when you when you pass. Even no matter what, you know, that central nervous system is set up in place in our very psyche. So as we age and as the decades go by, it's the challenge of how we've dealt with our central nervous system. So that's why for me as an indigenous woman, I find it very colonial that white women would sooner look at me as if my central nervous system hasn't ever changed or that I'm gonna this part of hyper sexuality is still has lingered in my sexual life my whole life. and and the notion that that I will always be this vulnerable, exotic, not like sexual human being, but yet Marina Crane (38:25.431) You know, I'm going yes, I I choose to to be honest about my sexual feelings. I I've suppressed them because of just the being on guard, always like being ready to be attacked. And and I didn't I didn't want that when I went down to Las Vegas. I I didn't want anybody to know. I didn't want people to be attacking me, like just you know, whatever way they thought just to to tick. pick my brain. I wanted everything not like I didn't want to deal with that. I just wanted that feeling of like, okay, when I was hypersexual, nobody knew my business. And the reality of it is that from that childhood memory fifty forty nine years ago, it started off fifty fifty-five years ago to 49. That's six years of my life. Six years of my life. And and for for a white woman or or white man to not see me or or like like what I'm trying to say is in in my community the young men know me. the young women know me, at least some of them know me. And and even then too it's it's not a question of them asking, it's a question of respect and boundaries. And and throughout my life, even as people have tried to hurt me within my community. I see how their lives have turned out now that they're older. And and I'm grateful to the the path of that I've taken. But but yet at the same time too I'm also always on the alert that that I'm going have to be guarded. But for a brief period, like I said in March and April, I you know, I let my guard down. I I totally relaxed and and because of that I enjoyed my trip in Las Vegas. As hard as it was, I enjoyed my trip. meeting people, talking to people, having closure with people. And I know when I talk about this to other people who have just recently met me and they thank me for sharing this story with them because there's so much Marina Crane (40:53.351) intergenerational trauma, especially with indigenous females, that I think white women cannot even comprehend. Because whether or not they would truly want to admit it, they still treat me this way. No boundaries. You know, if you p if you respected me and you didn't see me as a hypersexual elder, you would have put down boundaries and said, I can help I can I can look after myself. But but you didn't. See, the white man did. As as long as I've met him, always boundaries. Always boundaries in text, in conversations on the phone. And and I try to to say that there there is a lesson that there are good men out there. And like I was so scared, like like what thirty thirty-three years ago or so when I took the man who sexually assaulted me, a friend of mine, who's passed away since, like she did a lot of volunteer work with me and she'd come and visit my family and we just did a lot of things together. And there was no there was no convoluted stuff happening. And and she said to me, she said, Marina, once you do this, you'll you'll say, why didn't I do this sooner? And and that's what I the gift I gave to to Lynette and Sierra with with blanket and with with prayer was that that at some point they would have this epiphany that they've done something. They've faced the person who instilled fear in them. And for however long they held that fear, it's no longer there. And and anybody who wants to look at them as hypersexual sexualized i it doesn't matter because because that that shadow, that that that that limerence, that cloud has dissipated. It that mental health and the courage to eliminate a self defeating behavior i is part of the the reward to say. Now, even though I'm talking about this as something that happened to me thirty years ago, I it Marina Crane (43:19.031) this forensic psychologist that I've known, not my therapist, I I w I you know, I I can face that. I can say, yeah, no, I suppressed. I I suppressed my my sexual feelings for for thirty years. Like even though I went to court, I I I I knew that like my my friend said, she said, you know, and the analogy is like I didn't want to have my life every day when I'd meet a stranger, a man, especially a man, that that I would fear that all men are the same. So, you know, thirty years of interacting with men and and again trusting men, especially white men. Like like the white man who I went with to Las Vegas, I'd off the cuff say, You're damn lucky I have white uncles. But that's an analogy that, you know, the the work that I did in it from the time that I went to court and to eliminating a self defeating behavior. To to understand the the self defeating behavior, the different levels of it. Again, when I talk about hypersexuality, I I haven't been sexually active, like I said, in forty nine, fifty years. So it's it's the deconstruction of a psychological imprint that that people in my community or society places on women. That's why for me it's so important for curriculum development for indigenous teenagers, young women, older women, in what colonial mindsets and constructs have created in terms of murdered and missing Indigenous women and why this hypersexuality has been has been a key in in using that that that whole labelling as as like an excuse to to hunt us and to kill us. Because my goodness, we're we're not intelligent enough to to be non non hypersexual when it's okay for white women to be hypersexual or white men. See, I'm not criticizing all white women. I'm I'm just critiquing and saying they're you know Marina Crane (45:42.575) Well use Danielle Smith and her analogy or her allegory of the chiefs and treaty the chiefs of Alberta to check themselves. Well, for me, when it comes to white women and s symbolically they're telling me to check myself. And I'm going, no, I don't need you to tell me to check myself. See, ghosting me is is the analogy of you saying to me, I need to check myself. ma the white man that I went with to Las Vegas, we both agreed there was closure. And the reality of him respecting me and validating things that I didn't even know that I did, that that I really need like that I really needed to own. I didn't know that because I was so guarded about protecting my own Like my own ego, my own sexual identity that that I you know, I I didn't realize that that he was you know, these boundaries were teaching me a lesson about who I am as an indigenous woman. So so for me that's the key ingredient here with indigenous women is the reality that you can heal yourself, but it but it's a dance of intimacy with whatever sexual partner you you associate with because it it's it's important. It's important to understand boundaries. It's also important for you as the victim to understand that you're worth being loved. And that and that part of love doesn't mean that you're gonna beat up your partner or that partner's gonna beat you up. That hypersexuality and that sexual drive, that's normal. But when you incorporate violence and deviant behavior like like like brutality and violence, then then it it's scary. And and because of that, I think people who who aren't from our culture, white women, tend to look at it like, my goodness. Yet yet they themselves are are the mo have been in the most dangerous position their entire lives, but they haven't seen it. Marina Crane (48:06.338) And they never will see it, because there's still that privilege that allows them to look the look at somebody le like it's like a God complex. Like I said, people have got to really put boundaries down. I mean, it's important for me to to meet people and to to ask questions, like I said, open ended questions rather than closed questions. And And so the practice of having a dialogue is important. So th this white woman, when I when I had talked to her about how I felt about this white man, it was important. It was important for me to talk to her. And the reality of it is just like like my my friend's mother, the ninety seven year old, I was saying to my friend Diane, I said, I am so grateful to have seen your your your mum still be a sexual human being at ninety seven. For for her physiotherapist to to honor her at ninety seven by by being friendly to her, engaging with her, talking to her, because it made her feel like a a human being, a young sexual human being at ninety seven. So for the white man who traveled with me to Las Vegas, Doing this for me for the past three years was vital. And I really appreciate the experience and the validation. And and that's what I part of the whole podcast is is the reality that my story has meaning. Just like this Brandy Moore talking about, you know, she she was arrested at thirteen. Like the whole dynamics of people and how they struggle and and the social the social construct. That creates a society that that is fear-mongering because the the it's so easy to label all indigenous females as hypersexual. And and of course, hyposexuality comes as intergenerational trauma. I'm not saying it doesn't exist. I'm saying it does exist. I'm saying I've dealt with my self-defeating behavior. It's it's something you have to talk about. Marina Crane (50:30.305) You have to give it a name. And you ha you have to understand too that that behavior doesn't carry with you forever. It doesn't. And like I said, forty nine years, fifty years. How dare other women question my h question me in my h thinking I'm hy hypersexual? Or that like how dare I even make a comment about their behavior? when I'm hypersexual. Cause that's that's a to me, that's a colonial construct. It's a subconscious construct that this white woman doesn't even know she's projected on me. But you know what? I've had all these years talking with forensic psychologists, social workers, therapists, studying psychology. No, you can you know, like that's the reality of it. Whatever I do in terms of my mental health and and calling out people, even if they don't want to be called out, I'm putting it on my podcast. It's it's a it's a dangerous society that we live in when we have people of privilege thinking that, you know, okay, this happened to me as a child. Yes, but you also have the audacity to to think that that whatever this indigenous person is doing, just because what, I'm not a professor at a university or I'm not a millionaire, like the whatever status w white society sees me as a woman, I mean I know it all women have have are struggling, but I am just saying that it's a lot harder for for white women to see women of color, whatever color our skin is It's it's very difficult for them to to let go because because it it means it means you're gonna be all by yourself. Marina Crane (52:39.825) I know I made a comment to to her about her friend who she lost her husband and I said I made a comment, I said, I think if she tries to be find a a partner that because she's so vulnerable in her grief that she's gonna find someone who is going to abuse her. And of course she stood up for her friend. But I'll use an example. the forensic person that I've known I knew for over thirty years. His daughter has I think sixty eight followers or something on Instagram or her podcast. her her partner, I think they were sexual for five years. They knew each other from high school and then he passed away like I think last year. And since then Her population her popularity on TikTok has has bloomed. She was even in I think a New New York People magazine, like even Go Fund Me. Like all these these white women and her white audience just gravitated to her grief. Like wouldn't that be nice if if they did that for murdered and missing indigenous women? But there's some sort of addiction to the the heroine, the heroine the the lady in distress, the damsel in distress. You know, when I talk about finding balance in your central nervous system, I I like I I said it y the I use the example of of gambling pornography and fast foods. Three three behaviors that you as an individual to regulate your boundaries by slowly elimin eliminating those for three months. So your central nervous system gets balanced. Well it's the it's the same thing too when somebody grieves. We we had a death and and even you can listen to your own heart when someone in your family has died and how you remember how you felt during the time you were preparing to bury them. See, this young man well he's not a young man, for me, he's a couple of years younger than me. When he passed away, always respectful of me, his children, family, like you know, I Marina Crane (55:05.717) I I couldn't go to his funeral because of the smoke. And and I wanted to. but when one of the relatives, one of his relatives called me and she says, Marina, I was there and I hugged them. She says, their bodies were just so hot. Just just she says, just holding them, I could just feel this radiating heat from their bodies. And and I said, That's their central nervous system kicking in because they're in shock. That someone they loved has died. I said, that's our central nervous system. This is why it's important to regulate your central nervous system because you don't know when death is going to come to someone you love. And how are you going to prepare yourself? Because there'll be somebody, especially if you're an indigenous elder woman, there is always someone, a child or a grandchild, someone in your family that's depending on you. And and so you have to take care of your central nervous system. You have to set aside self care. My friend in Edmonton is doing just that. And and it's important. It's in p an important validation because people are depending on us. There is a Sioux song, that it's a traditional Sioux song. And in the song it it talks about it talks about people like guard guarding yourself because People are depending on you. And and so with with that you you you have to look after yourself. You have to you know really decide w what what behaviors do you need to to just eliminate. And and I and I I know this is gonna be triggering, but but I'm gonna say it because it because I use it as an analogy with what Brandy Moran was talking about. in terms of murdered and missing indigenous women and girls or people. When when the average age for human trafficking is fourteen, when our when when our children are being groomed and they're they're being taken, the they'll they'll the the people who do the most the people who who who do the grooming, sixty percent of them are female. So Marina Crane (57:31.147) what happens and this is this is like the thing is like for four days they will lock the child in a room and have people go in there for hours and hours and just have sex with these these children. For four days their their body temperature rises because their central nervous system has been under attack. So again after after the fourth day and this grueling four days of your body temperature being that high 'cause like understand, even when someone passes and you you get this extreme headaches. Like like that again, that's that's because your central nervous system has been under attack. So after the fifth day they put they put the child or the they put them in a room to cool for the bodies to cool down. And if the body does not cool down, then what happens is they die. But if their if their body has cooled down, then they're ready to be have it multiple sexual partners in a day. So this central nervous system and finding balance is important. And and it's vitally important too when people understand soldiers who go to war and how their central nervous system has totally been bastardized and the need to find some balance, like to have support groups and places like things in place. And when you're a child and you've been traumatized in Indian residential school, like I said, the generations, my parents' age, my grandparents' age, that that went went and tried to create curriculum through Nietzsche Institute and and and and society, you know, put taking the funding away bec because it they said it's a federal jurisdiction or like they want to privatize h the health system in Alberta. Cer certain things like you don't really think about until like I said, until y it it it if y like when you're when you're looking about well I I I don't know anybody I'm not associated with people who are trafficked. Yes, you you you you are. You you are even if even if you don't Marina Crane (59:57.036) really want to admit it. It's it's it's part it's just part of the whole the whole nature of Trying to control trying to control women. Now, if I can find this song, this is a song that the Sioux the Sioux women have been singing for for decades. and it has to do with with you know, looking after our central nervous system because people are depending on us. And so, you know, I hope I hope that's I hope that helps because if I can find this song I'll play it for you. I don't normally do this but it just seems like I'm meant to do this. Again to I hope people who are investigating and trying to understand how you can help in eliminating this whole gener five five hundred years of of hunting indigenous women and children. Like that's the reality. and I'm I praise all these young young influencers on TikTok and social media for putting putting themselves on the line and and trying to get this information out. So, now I'm not sure. I'm going to there are different songs. And I don't wanna stop I don't wanna stop the the recording because it just it just means I'll have to edit and and that's for me Marina Crane (01:01:45.599) It's i I I I'm not that good of a guru when it comes to editing my podcasts. And if I can't find can't find it, well I'm sorry, that's Marina Crane (01:02:04.993) I'm sorry, I did I usually had everything all all put up in the first place. Marina Crane (01:02:15.469) Hmm. Let me try this one. Let's see if it's Marina Crane (01:03:18.313) Shall I Shema! Shame on. Marina Crane (01:04:15.277) Okay, here it is. Mm-hmm. Marina Crane (01:05:34.989) Here's here here's another one. Marina Crane (01:05:54.775) Hey yeah. Marina Crane (01:06:00.108) Yeah, Marina Crane (01:06:16.926) Okay. May have a creature. Marina Crane (01:07:02.389) We are we are we call we are kidd Aqui, tia papai. Niopirataya we chagaya oyatigiya Wachiniam Marina Crane (01:08:40.141) Titch, my boy, yo. Eopivia we chakechaya Hoyatya Wachinayampeo. Marina Crane (01:09:09.963) So that's it's really rare that that I will you will ever catch me singing. But some of the first two chords or the two sentences they've been changed slightly from what I understood. But it's a woman's song that's talking about never giving up because people are depending on you. And that's a matriarchal system. So again, the formula for you know just finding balance with your central nervous system is in is vital. But it but it means that you have to be open to who you're attracted to. You you need to validate that within your sexual identity. You cannot suppress it. And and at the same time the boundaries that you put in place needs to be reciprocated from the person that you're attracted to. So anyway, I wanted to share that with you because again there are so many murdered and missing indigenous women and girls and two spirited people. I I I will I will play this like I said, the the the I think I think I I've got her down here or d do I? Actually I may not. Okay. I will play this woman's again, her name is Brandy Moran and she's young indigenous investigative reporter. And her insight into what's happening in the United States will call it Indian country, and in Canada we'll call it with First Nations Inuit and Metis communities. Now I want you to understand, too, it's only been in the past two years that the Canadian government has recognized the nine Sioux tribes in Canada as being indigenous. It's only been in the past two years that the Canadian government has recognized Inuit and Metis as being indigenous as well. So this whole concept. Marina Crane (01:11:12.879) construct when it comes to when it comes to like what the law is and who is indigenous and who isn't all these changes are taking place and it's vital that those people especially young people who seem to be lost in their identity need to understand exactly what's going on and even when you do you need to have patience with those elders who live and have never left First Nations anywit or Metis communities that this is their their security. This is this is this is something that their central nervous system has has attached itself. So I'll play Brandy Mourne's Anse, did you know that indigenous women are the fastest growing population in Canada's federal prisons? We're about five percent of the female population in this country, but we make up nearly half of the women locked up in federal custody. In some facilities it's over seventy percent and it's not random. It's not because we're more dangerous or more criminal or or whatever excuse this country wants to reach for. It's colonialism. Still doing exactly what it was built to do. Residential schools, broken child welfare systems, poverty, generations of trauma. This country has never actually invested in healing. All of it funneling our women straight into cells. And here's the part that most people don't talk about. This is connected to the crisis of our Missing and murdered indigenous women and girls. It's the same root causes, the same systems failing us, and sometimes it's the same woman. She survives one thing only to be swallowed by the other. I know this isn't abstract because I lived it. I was 13 years old the first time I went to jail. Marina Crane (01:13:11.851) Now I'm not gonna tell you the whole story here. I wrote it out in full because it deserves more than 60 seconds. But I'll tell you this, I made it out. So many of our women that I met along the way didn't. And some of them I can still name. Some of them I've had to grieve. This country has known about this crisis for years. Commissions have named it, inquiries have named it, and the numbers keep climbing anyway. I wrote about my own story, the women I lost, and what's actually being done and what isn't to fix this. It's up now on Indigenous Insider. Links in my bio. Go read it. Hi hi. Marina Crane (01:13:59.052) That's Brandy Morin. You can find her on TikTok. And I'll pl I'm gonna play this the the the psychiatr the psychiatrists talk about the psychology of hypersexuality and and again the the money that needs to be in place to help indigenous people heal from hypersexuality. Is possible but yet like like like it's that woman that keeps on coming back and being abused over and over again, never healing. And and so it's important that people you know start to look at healing in a different different way and understanding that it's possible to heal. I'm Professor Ahmed Hankir. I'm a consultant psychiatrist, and today I want to talk about a topic that isn't discussed nearly enough: hypersexuality. It's a taboo subject, but we need to talk about it. Because for some people, it can have profound consequences. Hypersexuality isn't simply having a high sex drive, it refers to sexual thoughts, urges, or behaviors that become difficult to control. Control and begin causing distress, risk, or significant problems in someone's life. One of the best recognized causes is bipolar disorder. During manic or hypomanic episodes, changes in brain function can lead to increased reward seeking, reduced inhibition, impulsivity, and overconfidence. For some people, this can result in a sudden surge in sexual desire and risky sexual behavior. This might include multiple. Sexual partners, sex with strangers, compulsive pornography use, compulsive masturbation, spending excessive amounts of money on sexual services, or crossing personal or relationship boundaries. Hypersexuality can also occur in some people with ADHD, certain personality disorders, substance use disorders, and some neurological conditions. Hypersexuality can affect anyone. However, in a disinhibited state, some individuals may become more. Marina Crane (01:16:27.231) Vulnerable to coercion, exploitation, trauma, or sexual assault. When the episode or period of dysregulation passes, many people are left carrying immense shame, bar embarrassment, guilt, or confusion. Relationships can break down, careers can be damaged. There may also be risks such as sexually transmitted infections, unplanned pregnancies, financial difficulties, or legal consequences. It's important to say this clearly. Understanding the role of mental illness. Does not excuse harmful behavior or remove personal responsibility, but it does help us understand why these experiences occur and how we can support recovery without shame or stigma. Treatment depends on the underlying cause for bipolar disorder. Moose stabilizers can be highly effective. Psychological therapies can also help people develop insight, improve impulse control, and reduce risk. If you recognize yourself or someone you love in what I've described, please don't suffer in silence. Honest conversations with the mental Health professional can be life-changing. Hypersexuality can sometimes be a symptom of an underlying mental health condition rather than a reflection of someone's values or character. Let's replace shame with understanding, stigma with compassion, and silence with honest conversation. I hope you found that helpful. As always, protect your minds and protect your hearts. And When I talk about limerence and I talk about the need to have guided like you need you really have to have shop around and find a good therapist, one who has boundaries. There are a lot of white women out there who don't who are therapists who do not have healthy boundaries. But that's not to say, too, that there are white men who are therapists. They s I mean it it you have to shop around. You have you have to understand too that the whole process of being in a relationship with a mental health worker means that that you have to work at it. At the same time, too, you you have to develop support systems in place to help Marina Crane (01:18:39.405) you help you regulate your central nervous system because this is all based on like obtrusive thoughts or vulnerability. again when people have been victimized and they they become victims of other people and they come out of it with shame. So like it's one thing it's one thing to to be a victim and have the courage to actually go to court and and face your abuser. It's another thing to have support when when the person is prosecuted and that you're you're still in recovery and that that support needs to help you regulate your central nervous system. There'll be relapse and recovery coming out throughout your life in in months, years, weeks, decades. But the reality of it is every ten years our identity changes. Our our how we see ourselves and how we interact with other people is is vitally important. My whole point on the podcast as an Indigenous woman is is to say to to women, non Indigenous women, stop pointing the finger at at Indigenous women as being hypersexual or that we are as Brandy Morren says, you know, there that there's something the matter with us. This has been systemic. Like I said, the first one hundred years of colonization, they killed five generations of our children. And and even how they scalped they looked for women who were pregnant, gutted their bellies and took their baby scalp and theirs. They created a town in South Dakota just for that. The whole systemic colonial way of thinking of what indigenous women are. Now the fact that as indigenous women We have to also look after ourselves, our relatives, and to make sure that that they don't become violent and aggressive and just really terrible women. You know, in my community, and I'm just f finishing this off, is and and again in in Indigenous First Nations in communities, when women have married into our communities because of this colonial construct. Marina Crane (01:21:03.457) They they're very aggressive, very manipulative, gaslighting, and and they continue that throughout their lives. They're they are more demanding to leadership in getting things done than than the women and and the young men who've actually grown up here in our communities. So so for me I'm talking from experience, and this is my own personal opinion. I'm seventy four. What have I got to lose? Like, you know, people can look at me and and I'll say, sh look and see what I have. But then you look at somebody who's been married in, and even when they were married in at fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, and you wonder, okay, how how is this trafficked? Was this person trafficked? So this whole dichotomy of colonization and how how the Indian aff how the Indian Act has polarized indigenous women from different communities and how we perceive what mental health and what hypersexuality is or isn't. the wh this whole colonial construct of like being the Virgin Mary or is is an impossible, impossible goal to achieve. But but the realistic goal is is to just be able to have open conversation with another human being. So with that I hope I've given you some more insight. but like differ different things on TikTok really trigger me to use them in my podcast. And and again, my life is constantly changing. when I first came back from Nevada I I had given up some friends and and the ones who who made the effort to contact me again have. and and that's just the way life is. But but there's also a give and take too the the white woman that I depended on so much has ghosted me. And the white man that I traveled with to Las Vegas like you know, up he's he's struggling, you know, he's has to maintain his livelihood and and do what he needs to do to, you know, live the the best life he can. But but I do want to, you know, encourage people to know that there are people, one of the psychologists with her PhD in eliminating self defeating behavior had said, you'll find invisible helping hands. And and so this white man Marina Crane (01:23:33.609) in my podcast and what I've been talking about in terms of healthy human sexuality i is an invisible helping hand. And and you'll we we will meet all these these different people throughout our life, right right until we're s it's time to go home and our b our our bodies are are placed in in burial site. We we are living the best life we can. So with that, you know, take comfort in knowing There are invisible helping hands helping you guide your way through this life. We are not alone. Even though we may live alone and not have a partner, we are never alone.