So much was taken from indigenous culture including our matriarchal ways of teaching healthy human being’s sexuality to our girls & our women.
Listen to this historian talk about
patriarchy from the world across the Ocean. Then, imagine what life was
like for thousands of years prior to the influences of colonialism in the Americas.
I was delivered into this world by my
grandmothers. My closest friend was a mid-wife.
Intergenerational trauma is understanding the
effects on each generation is important not just for indigenous people but the
world.
Promoting healthy human sexuality to women
who were taught not to speak about sex or women who suppress their feelings
scares people. My Limerence should not frighten men but most non-indigenous men
are scared. They don't understand.
In society there are so many men who seek to
control women’s bodies. A child’s body isn't mature enough to experience childbirth
let alone a healthy orgasm. Women all over this world know this, at least those
who are mothers. The science of women is new & so female sexual
response.
My trauma crippled me not in a way that froze
me emotionally. Read up on eliminating self-defeating behaviour to understand
what takes to become responsible for our own human sexuality.
Limerence needs support system in place.
Awareness of support groups or individuals is important in establishing healthy
relationships. A self-defeating thought is addictive in anyone whose trauma
breeds fear. Focusing on someone whose is unobtainable distracts us from being
present.
We all know or seemingly gossip about someone
who we say has ‘bad luck’ or ‘bad medicine’ in all their relationships. We
easily get labeled as being strange or mental case we isolate ourselves. The
older get the more aware I am of making myself available to meeting new
people.
In my youth, I didn't like boys or men who
became limerent with me. I'd create my own gossip to remain limerent with a man
so I would not be peer pressures into dating. Throughout my single life I've
been blessed to attach myself to men who I could share my limerent behaviour
with. At first, I didn't know what was limerence. Talking to a man I was in limerence
took courage; however, as the layers of self-defeating behaviour started shedding
its ugly head. The easier it became to understand relapse & recovery of limerence.
I was also fortunate to be around
non-indigenous people who made fun of my limerence. As I got older it was even
more insidious. I was perceived as wanting to date outside of my class or race.
I was perceived as looking for someone to rescue me from my poverty. Today, I
still find non-indigenous men scared of my limerent energy. I am also grateful
for the respect I am paid by indigenous men I grew up with who call me,
‘sister!’
We all make mistakes cause we are human
beings; however, my limerent energy stems from a matriarchal way of thinking.
Something a colonial mindset fails to understand in their patriarchy. I think
in the patriarchy of European descent people call women such as me,
‘witch.’
I am an indigenous woman of Dakota Sioux
descent who was the ways of WHITE BUFFALO CALF WOMAN.
I try to explain there are protocols in
place. Our men are not immune to their own limitations with Limerence.
My biggest pet peeves in life and most consistent pet peeve is people who use historical ages and distort them to push their own agenda. *Within most indigenous communities when an adult male sexually assaults a child it was acceptable. In most case the child would marry her perpetrator and continue to be abused throughout her life. This push for the perpetrators own agenda was supported by priests who taught women should obey their husbands. Understanding that most children were raised through generations in Indian Residential Schools were sexual assault or any form of sexual education was denied. My late mother told me when she first got pregnant, she thought she was going to have a litter of children like a dog having puppies. This is why I say these children were treated like animals and they were taught they were a subspecies of humans.) cause let me let you there has never been in the history of the western world and this man is of European descent so we’re going with the western world there has never been a single time in which has been socially acceptable for 40-year-old have sex with 14 year old. (Understanding the content of why it would be important for a child to grow up into adulthood within an indigenous community were children were considered HOLY BEINGS as in the Dakota, Nakota and Lakota cultures.
It just doesn't happen. It never happened. I Think a big reason that people believe it happened is because this notion that people drop dead that the day they turn 30 and that's just not true. (Indigenous people did not drop dead at 30 prior to genocidal activities that lasted 500 years. Indigenous peoples lived long lives.) In any part of History has not been true. Infancy has been the real big struggle and childbirth as well, which will get you in a moment. But infancy itself, If people survived infancy, they typically live to be about 60 to 70 years old with 1 and 10 living to be 80 plus years old. If we get in our time Machines of fly back to 16th century. You’ll see that women got back then very Similar to the age that they get married today, mid to late 20s. Ann Boleyn was 33 years old when she married Henry the Eighth. And that’s not to say that there weren’t child brides because there were child brides. You can find the entire list, going back to the 9ths century on Wikipedia of every child ride that's ever been notable but the catch is the child brides were typically marrying child grooms okay. They went marrying men in their 40s. Most that will marry men 21 to 25 years old, which still isn't great, but it's not 40, has never been 40. And on the very rare occasion that it was 40, they weren’t real marriages. There was no sex involved, and by the time that girl was 18 & 20 years old, because whatever conflict required them to be married in the first place had been resolved. Som there was no reason for them to be married anymore. You’d be Very, very, very hard pressed to find a single child bride who married a 40-year-old man with any offspring. It was their offspring because they were having sex and the reason for that, quite simply, was childbirth. A fifteen-year-old body even today because biology doesn’t change. is not prepared to give birth to a child. Its not built to give birth to a child. And I know the pedophile argument if they got their period then they’re mature enough to give birth to a child. No, they are not. Eight-year-old gt their periods these days its got a lot to do with their weight. You are at a certain weight you start menstruating, that’s the way biology works. So, eight-year-olds these days are menstruating because of a higher weight and higher height. That doesn’t mean that they’re ready to give birth. And a thirteen year old back then were not ready to give birth either. And nobody knew this better that people of the past. ( As I’ve said, know the people who came before you. My grandmothers knew and so did my late mother who had her first child at twenty-one years of age.) People of the past knew this very well. They knew better than we know how deadly how deadly childbirth is. 40 year olds of te past we’re not going to get a 13 year old daughter of the Lord they want money from the farmer that they wan resources from Pregnant because that risks them dying as soon as that 13 year old dies in childbirth, whatever alliance that was suppose to be formed from that marriage is over. So, what they would do instead is that they had a nephew or a son who was similar to the girl they would get married instead. And that’s how the alliance would be formed. And the girls would go off to court training Which is typically from about the age of 12 for about 10 to 15 years, and boy would go up to where he was gonna do over its farming or not. So whatever it was whale fishing, he would go up and do that and then once careers were set in place, then they would come back and they would have offspring. And, that’s how you got here my friend (referring to the man who first said marry a child to a 40 year man was acceptable) Sorry to ruin you pedophile and wet dreams and no offense
With all the genocide that took place over the hundreds of years, and all that happened with murder and genocide within my culture of people not living long does not mean that this was normal. Because I was a product of home delivery, my grandmothers delivered me into this world. And the matriarchy knew. A child could not withstand childbirth. So this whole mythology of like it being traditional that you have? A child bride is just total fantasy. Structure of misogyny. That's just my opinion, but the reality of it is it still happening today, and peoples are still believing stories that men make up for their own. Wim or wet dreams. thank you.
Hey. Just
like I'm going to fantasy. It's like if you have a fantasy like four times a
year for 10 minutes, OK, fine, have your fantasy. But if it starts to be where
you can't have actual closeness with real people, there it is. Now. That's why
Limerence exists, is to compensate for that inability to connect. So, the
solution is, is to start working. On that ability to connect and I just highly
recommend doing it with people who are super neutral and understanding for you.
*This is not easy if your community is made up of
people who are mostly Misogynists. Something taught by priest or religion
demanding the woman obey her husband) I got so much help of Al-Anon. You
know going to 12 step rooms where other people were working on stuff. They do
not have the same issues as me but there were some who did and. Having friends
who I could be connected to. In our community we have a bunch of people who are
healing from limerence. They do the daily practice together. Or in our
membership community there's like peer LED daily practice class three or four
times a day but practice. And I don't mean to say that friends are just
practice and then to be discarded or anything but. It's a little more neutral,
not as charged, not as like. (I’ve mentioned Limerence in
this blog to some extent. I’ve been fortunate to be guided to super neutral and
understanding men wo helped in meaningful conversations around feelings that
were leading into my being in Limerence with them. When I’ve reached out to
friends they are amazed that I had the courage to expose my feelings especially
when so many misogynistic would take advantage, as we see in #MMIWG2S) It's
not going to lead to limerence. It's very unlikely too. And it's a way for you
to learn to love when the right thing comes along. It doesn't disrupt your happiness;
it doesn't disrupt your stability. It sort of comes in slowly and adds to it so
you'll know it when it comes. You are now getting ready for that.
The reason
I'm using this video is because like throughout the decades, I've taken
psychology classes and different techniques of dealing with limerence. Most
part its of self reflection looking at your own self-defeating behavior. So, if
you're interested look at childhood fairy 1-13. Alot of her techniques are
little different because they're not focusing on indigenous communities.
Thinking many times when you're trying to practice healing from limerence, it's
very unlikely that you will find a healthy person that you can trust. My late
brother would encourage me to go out and meet people. With the constant
stressor within Indigenous communities living in isolation, chronic stressors, chronic
relief are contributing factors in developing and maintaining this
self-defeating behavior called Limerence. After all, its your best friend who doesn’t
gossip about you or is not jealous of your accomplishments. For me, I went to therapy,
and I also took part and classes too. It is totally up to your skill set to
look for in what's available in your community or your environment. I hope this is helpful. Thank you.
