Self Proclaimed Medicine Man, Nathan Chasing Horse used deceptions: 2018-09-23

This was my experience in confronting Nathan Chasing Horse in 2007. He had no compassion for his victims. His propensity for girls started being more openly displayed by the summer of 2007. Documentaries, Articles, Indigenous Podcasts, My Podcast is under construction. Archival documenting yearly posts posted with transcripts will be published here. I’ll also link my YouTube videos associated with each podcast published. I also created a link to my GOFUNDME account. I may link my TikTok account

Sunday 23 September 2018

FEAR “Will anyone care?”

‪Never really understood until now about the fear of telling someone & they not believing. ‬

Decades after being raped I’d told my story it seemed hundreds of times with nobody believing me or it seemed they didn’t know how to help. Until, one day a new friend asked me "does your rapist know he or they hurt you?"

All those years I thought in some naïve way that I thought I had by talking to acquaintances; however, in reality they didn’t believe me.

In reality, I needed to face my fear. I needed to let the surviving rapist know they had hurt me. Nobody knows the agony of the seven year investigation until the court date. People thought I did it out of revenge. Despite my efforts when I’d tell people I was doing it for my own healing they didn’t understand. I hope today there are more people who start to understand this fear. A fear of people not believing your truth. 🙏🏽😪🙏🏽

In some ways writing this blog is a form of writing openly. As I keep myself Anonymous so people so people don’t judge me if they knew me. I’ve written my truth in this blog; however, there’s been a need from within myself to overcome this fear. I believe we all have this to some degree. I just didn’t understand where it from until I listened to this man’s story.

Ron Gosbee isn't Indigenous, but as a child, he was one of a small number of white children who attended a residential school. youtu.be/SyVrohwsHX8 @JorgeBarrera

theworldissmallernowbuyerbeaware

Memories of my late mother saying her dad, my grandfather taught her in a warning that the Dakota Medicine was good, but not anymore. As far back as 81 years ago, fake medicine people deceived their own people for money, power, and glory. Our grandmothers showed us through their prayers helping us celebrate love and helping us celebrate life within our families. Through my own lived experiences, I had to eliminate my own self-defeating behavior. Our people are depending on us to bring justice into our Indigenous Communities. Our Indigenous girls and women are going missing at an alarming rate and are being human trafficked. With little help in finding them or bringing their killers or abusers to justice, I started this blog. I never thought I would live to see such as year as 2023. Today, I feel blessed to be able to hold those who reached out to me in high regard. I am truly grateful, Creator’s Will guided me in my lifetime to see Nathan Chasing Horse arrested. And, yet at the same time, I grief for all his victims who died before they could see him brought to justice.

Intergenerational truama further perpetuated.

It was a HBO movie set I first met Nathan Chasing Horse. I worked along side my late mother who was literate in Dakota. We didn’t spend too much time with him as he knew how to somewhat speak Lakota. Mostly we were around Actors like Adam Beach and Eric Schweig teaching them the proper pronunciations. My first impression of him was not that of an actor rather that of an indigenous young man with many ex-girlfriends. I ignored his arrogance as I managed my way through being a consultant on behalf of my later mother for the Director and the executive producers of Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. Micheal Spears was stopped at the Canadian border so his role needed to be filled and since Nathan Chasing Horse was available he auditioned for the part with my mother speaking Dakota to him. The original intention of the movie was to have most of the dialogue in Lakota; however, as production started only few dialogues were kept. The Sioux culture needed representation. I advised them that the songs sung in Lakota would add a difference to the lack of dialogue and they agreed. I suggested they use Nathan’s singing ability and his ability to pronounce Lakota correctly as an asset. Prior to this Nathan was only hired as a stand-in as a Sioux Jailer for Sioux prisoners, nothing more and nothing less. It was in the fall of 2006. Nathan made connections with my younger brother and my oldest niece whom I took on the movie set. My brother started promoting Nathan in the schools and asked if I could help connect him with others within my community. From the ending of the movie in November of 2006 until March 2007, Nathan, and his entourage of three men left. During this time, I reached out to my friends who were having problems with the daughters. We met and hatched a plan to raise money for the mother’s and their daughters to attend Yuwipi, sweats and Sundance. It was the trip to the Sundance in Wolf Point that would cost the most. We tried to fund raise that turned out to be a disaster; however, once members of my community met and supported Nathan the money for the Yuwipi and Sweats were found, but not the Sundance; however, my younger brother was helped with Nathan and his entourage for his Sundance in the summer of 2007. Our ancestors carried within them intergenerational trauma that was further perpetuated in the creations of Indian Residential Schools. It’s a dark place of racism and genocide. Much of what I’ve written about pertains to sexual deviancy. I basically thought the 12-step programs of AA, Al-Anon, Sex Addiction and other 12-step programs helped. As we’ve all grown up around family violence; I’ve met many men who were exposed to such extreme violence. Much I write about here is focusing on is Limerence, because of intergenerational trauma. As the Yuwipi focuses on Limerence practices and I believe was once good. I’ve found as more and more non-indigenous people and indigenous people seek out by cultural appropriation through exploitation. Culturally appropriating our sweats and ceremonies doesn't mean you are healed or that you are automatically adopted into an Indigenous way of knowing. Being around indigenous communities isn't a place to hide your disorders rather it needs to be a place of communities like AA, Al-non and other 12-step programs. There’s no magic wand nor some psychic Psyche who can conjure up a quick fix. It takes time and a lot of hard emotional work. It's just sad that our own people are predators to our own girls and women. I was born into such a way of thinking, and I don’t blame anyone. I’ve learned we as human beings have more in common than our differences. This need for validation and acceptance is as old as time itself, so be kind to yourself and love the person you discover within yourself.

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Sunday 23 September 2018

FEAR “Will anyone care?”

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Intergenerational truama further perpetuated.