She was the last of my late mom’s siblings. I wish I could say beautiful things about her life; however, for those who didn’t know her she was a beautiful soul. She was quick to cry. She was quick to notice what others owned. She was the youngest & expected much of others to notice her.
A little history as funerals go. When my late mother died this aunt didn’t speak with me for an entire year. She seemed to have issues with me or my late mom. She never included my late mom in her trips home. Maybe in some sense she was jealous of what needs late mom had. When my first cousin died she again didn’t speak with me for an entire year. Needless to say, I didn’t really trust my aunt not after repeatedly seeing the results of her stories. She even had told me that she really didn’t know my mom. It surprised me my late mom was here living in this city before her. Mom included her in everything she could.
Example again, my other aunt’s death. This aunt called asking me & my sister’s to help her plan the funeral. This aunt said her late sister’s children were telling her they couldn’t do it. This aunt was up & crying so my sister’s & me wanting help. When we arrived with this aunt I was treated terrible. Every things I did or said was questioned. My sister’s left uneasy & wanted to leave the next day too. I decided to leave as well without attending the funeral. Despite being cousin I felt racism from my own cousins. I never understood why they never made an effort to visit. As we, meaning my late mom & my siblings went to Sioux Valley as much as we could.
For some reason my cousins thought I was there to meddle. The only person who could have said anything was this aunt. There was good reason for her to dislike me. Not that I was controlling or meddling, I was invited by this aunt. So I was setup up by her. She didn’t try to defend me, not even trying to get us to stay. It seemed like she needed the attention.
Since my late mom’s death she was at constant odds with me. I’d like to say she was controlled; however, my uncle her husband had much to do with his wife’ behavior. At one point the aunt had said if she were marry again she would marry an indigenous man next time. She said she missed community functions.
Prior to my late mom’s death we discovered what this aunt had done. My cousins, me & my late mom and another aunt realized what this aunt was capable of doing for money.
She took over $80,000.00 from her sister. It seemed that her every motive was to make money anyway she could. Her sister was an elderly single disabled woman who had won a court case. We had to explain to her how much money her sister took from her. As she said she received $3,000.00 instead of $40,000 to $50,000.
My late mom helped explaining the legal process in what she had received. I can only say that my cousins who took care of this disabled aunt once they found out had nothing to do with this aunt. Really, $5,000.00 each for three siblings is nothing. This aunt could have given them something but no she kept it. These three cousins took care of this aunt. In the second court case she would have received $80,000 but instead said she got &30,000, so, where did all that money go was the secret she wanted to keep.
Like I said, I wish I could say something good about her as she was my aunt; however, a decade earlier my uncle, her husband got legal papers signed over giving his wife executorship over her sister. The other knew once my late mom explained it to her.
She choose not to confront her as she had nobody to take care of her affairs once she was gone. Despite lasting 10 more years she was lonely and alone. This aunt turned her sister against the three cousins.
So, as this aunt died this morning, she will not be buried beside my late mom. We made arrangements to help out with expenses; however, her husband will not have a viewing or a memorial service. At least, we are hoping he changes his mind. He seems likely he he doesn’t want any involvement from my late aunt’s cousins. I’m staying out of the loop as this aunt created drama around me. I distanced myself away from her after my late mom’s death.
My uncle is not indigenous. My three aunties married non-indigenous men. I found their lack of ceremony very disrespectful. My cousins from these marriages are racist. I wish things were all nice and loving, however, all my Late mom’s siblings with the exception of one sister, all went to Indian residential school & from what I understand. They were all sexually abused. I don’t know about my uncle. My aunties talked about their abuse. I’m grateful for the three survivors, my late mom included for sharing with me their trauma.
I am very grateful for my late mother’s insight & support she gave to her sisters, the one the other abused. I’m grateful for my other aunt who stood by me. . Now, they are all gone home. No worries & no hatred, they are where there’s love & light. I’m truly grateful. Grateful for knowing what their childhood traumas created in them all. As for my cousins, I really don’t have time or the effort to connect with them. Maybe that’s why I seek out acquaintances to see how they are or whether there’s still some connection. 💕🙏🏽💕
Indian Residential schools destroyed families & in my case I grew up knowing who my cousins were on both parents sides. Most indigenous people do not. As I’ve two deceased in-laws who never met their cousins on their father’s side. People tend to think racism is between strangers. I say no. I’ve lived amongst racist cousins. Sadly, they are still racist & alcoholics.
In closing, I have three female cousins who are the oldest within their families whom are can not all with because they are alcoholics or abusing drugs. I just don’t tolerate substance abuse. I’m still struggle with behavior addiction; however, not as extreme as it once was so very very little my ago. I preach mental health. I realize not everyone started applying mental health awareness early on in life as I did.
So, for my reader, practice mental health practices in your teens or early adulthood, as the older one gets or the mire a substance is introduced the harder it is to process change.
So, with all my aunt’s & uncles, I know who they were was not their fault. As children listen regularly had no choice. As teens they was nobody there to guide them & asmarried couples they learned learned helplessness & self-defeating behavior.
