I’m watching this TV program called CATFISH. It reminded me of my blog NOT cause I lie or manipulate people for attention rather I’ve written about about a sociopath who lies & manipulates others. It’s mint uncommon. In fact, after these past two months I’ve realized that a depressed person can create their own reality to deny their own mental health issues.
Apparently CATFISHING is about posting a fake identity to seek out a relationship with a stranger.
Throughout these years the sociopath I write about feeds his followers this story that I’m CATFISHING him. I didn’t realize it’s got its own classification. I mean I knew about obsessive compulsive behavior.
In psychology class one would say we all self diagnose ourselves; however, CATFISHING can be creepy. Specially when it happens to you.
Life’s not easy. As it is six months ago I lost my brother-in-law. My sister who had suffered from depression throughout her entire life as gone into denial. She refuses to go to therapy & is making her children’s life a living hell.
As for me, I’ve had it with her & refuse to be around her. This is nothing knew for me as my siblings tend to think they are kind & compassionate souls. Being children of two parents who went through the INDIAN RESIDENTIAL SCHOOL system, we all got our own issues.
Anyway, back to this CATFISHING topic. A few months ago I found an acquaintance online after decades of no contact. I didn’t realize what was happening to me. He had disclosed his interest he had with me & when I tried establishing boundaries he said he didn’t believe in boundaries.
From here on it was difficult for me understand him as I wanted to give him a benefit of a doubt; however, he wasn’t the same person I thought I knew years ago or maybe I just hadn’t seen him for what he was.
I feel in some ways we tend to believe the best in each other. He had been separated for eight years. Clue: “he’s still married & still hasn’t finalized his divorce.” I think he thought I wasn’t going to help him.
So here’s what my research uncovered about him as much as he’s tired to hide who he is. And, that’s what got me curious was his obsession to remain isolated & abandoned. We all have stories we play in our minds as to who we think we are & why people treat us the way they do; however, each of us as this struggle.
For him, Korsakoff syndrome is a chronic condition that surfaces after years of alcohol abuse. Cognitive impairment continues until deaths. “He did say a lot of who he is today he’s done to himself.” At 44, he had his first heart attack so in total he’s had four. Imagine that with each heart attack he’s experienced some brain damage as well.
Understand this he’s loved by his siblings immensely; however, he refuses to be around them. He refuses to be around anyone whose previously known him. He’ll email or text keeping any verbal exchange limited nor nothing at all.
One needs to understand this guy’s ego like most of us is based on acommplishing what seems the impossible. So our ego is based on how others see us in this case. He has said “it difficult to see & understand whose he’s become based on hate & anger.”
For women it’s like “slut shaming” as a female does everything to prove to others that she’s not a slut. For this guy it’s “indigenous male shaming” proving to others he’s not a savage. We all. As human beings try to rise above who we were as children however some of us can not put these behaviors aside. Our egos, as we believe, is based upon keeping our traumatized self hidden or protected from being revealed.
I’m only revealing who he is cause he needs to know that he’s loved by his siblings & his people. You see, I believe he’s not isolated himself because people don’t like his opinions, I think he’s isolated himself so people like his family will never see his cognitive decline.
I believe they are willing to forgive & are willing to help him adjust to his new environment. As it is he’s in another country in denial of his reality. In short time I’ve reacquainted myself with him he’s demonstrated his CATFISHING abilities with women via Facebook. He was right in that there are darker secrets he’s afraid of losing control over.
In the meantime, all those women he’s CAYFISHED are left hanging as he’s trying to make his marriage work. Sadly, he’s got eight years of CATFISHING to deal with on an analyst’s couch; however, like most people dealing with depression he doesn’t believe in therapy. He did disclose that he was trying to live his life single.
I’m just one of those ladies he tried to create a persona of someone or something that doesn’t exist. I cared enough about him years ago to try to understand his obsession with me then & now. I wish I could say he’ll return home to his birthplace & be around those who love him but his ego is too great a burden. I’ve tried explaining to him unraveling such a protective shield takes years of healing from the trauma that created it.
This guy was a police officer, lawyer & retired from the federal government. “We are the only ones who can take away all that we’ve worked so hard to achieved.”
