As a young woman I wasn’t equip with life skills to physically protect myself or even emotionally understand sexual assault comes in many different forms of sexual abuse.
Until recently, I reconnected with an old acquaintance. We met as teens & he was a very angry teen. Today he’s still angry. When we reconnected he admitted to me he had liked me very much but regretted never telling me. (This is his version)
I explained the numerous times he was mean to me & that I was interested in knowing more about his life. He’d joined the RCMP then went into law school finding employment for Justice Canada. He had also drank himself into an unhealthy lifestyle. Had since lived through four heart attacks & from my observation over time realized he suffered from other ailments.
The reason I’m disclosing his story is that whatever he was in his former self he was now lost. Lost in the sense of short term memory.
For me, the event that stood out for me as a teen was when he groped me. As I’ve said I didn’t know the whole extent of sexual abuse. Decades went by I’d think about him & he admitted he also thought about me.
My child’s mind could process he had tried to rape me. Yet, now I look back in his life in was he told me. I couldn’t quite get my mind around it. Then, because of an article I read about a obstetrician sexually assaulting his patients. One of the patients recalls how she felt if she had ever been sexually assault she’d yell or scram out. It took her awhile to tell her husband.
For me, this acquaintance tried to rape me. As I realize too that there’s a class action law suit against RCMP of sexual harassment in the work force. I began thinking I was probably his first attempt at sexual assault. As he disclosed in his drunkenness he couldn’t remember what he did or had done. This was all during his academic life & employment history.
He refuse to move back to Canada cause of racism here; however, after reflecting on my experience with him. I’ve come to realize he’s probably got other women who he’s sexually abused.
The problem here is his brain appears to be be damaged from all the alcohol he consumed. Any reference I brought forward to him about what he did to me he denied. His memory of his groping never was from his point of view a boyish thing.
Why I say I am losing friends. I mean in his aging he’s lost apart of his younger self. It’s not Alzheimer’s or dementia. His anger is still apart of him. His attitude towards indigenous girls & indigenous women is still the same. I’m all the better for not having him as a friend.
When I first text him I left deep sorrow as I’d lost someone. It’s not until recently that it’s that boy I knew whom I thought ‘needed a break.’ Many people felt this about him & helped him. It’s breaks my heart that the anger that he carried from his childhood still drives him. I just didn’t want not to see or admit to myself what he had done to me. He claims I’m the only indigenous girl he ever liked.
I believe it’s even a deeper issue with all women. Now that he’s elderly all his abilities to hide his true self is fading as well.
I’m not saying is entire life is tragic. I’m just sad that I’ve lost someone I knew. He’s here physically but whomever he’s trying to be only make him angrier and angrier.
I hope whomever reads this thinks about what alcohol doesn’t to the human body. It kills women faster then men; however, for men it doesn’t effect their bodies like it does women. It effects their brain function.
I encourage the youth in my family to not drink or to stop drinking. I encourage them to seek mental health counseling.
My acquaintance was a vibrant young man when I first met him. It’s his unresolved trauma that effected his entire life.
At the time I reconnected with him I didn’t fully understand the grief I felt for him. It obsessed me.
It also ended with any doubt about who I’ve become. I have a voice. I’ve been responsible for my own mental health for decades. Creator blessed me. 🙏🏽
