Waiting for the trail of Nathan Chasing Horse to start. It's also reflecting on the years of neglect indigenous girls & indigenous women received after reporting him to their local authorities. I say neglect rather than using the word “ negligence.”
I didn't think it would trigger me. I've tried focusing in editing & drafting posts to a non-indigenous audience. This cross-cultural explanations are somewhat long and boring. Yet, from my indigenous perspective, my indigenous female voice I totally understand what it feels like to be not seen, not heard, not being humanized.
Throughout my life I never understood ‘The Dome.’ This basically was invisible to me because I grew up around non-indigenous city folk. I’ll explain this concept of ‘The Dome’ of safety, protection and magical power to make one visible by storytelling,
When I was right year's old my parents friends took care if me and my baby brother while my parents spent six months of months in South America. I was so young I didn't or could not understand what ‘The Dome.’ This story is just one example of the power of ‘The Dome.’ I became very sick I almost died. My guardians admitted me into a government indian hospital. My guardian was a non-indigenous school teacher. For about three months I was placed in isolation behind the nurse’s desk. It waant until a few days before my release that I was moved into a chikdren’s dorm. Within days I was bullied by other indigenous children.
I was no longer in ‘The Dome.’ As long as my guardian was not indigenous I was protected. You see ‘The Dome’ appears when a non-indigenous person stands beside me. When a non-indigenous person sees that I have a non-indigenous ally they hear me. If and when I am by myself ‘I wear my skin.’ The dome’s magical power while I am inside this dome with my non-indigenous ally makes me non-indigenous. This is the power of The Dome. It's usually seen in countries that were colonialized.
I grew up within this protective state not realizing it. Like lineremce & love bombing I unconsciously craved it. It became more addictive than alcohol or drugs. It's a result of decades and decades of intergenerational trauma. It's systemic racism stamped on the skin I wear before I was born. I use to wonder why all my aunties married non-indigenous men. It was for protection. My aunties would get upset when I would use my indigenous female voice. I believe its why people in authority don't give attention to indigenous remakes voices. One need only look at the rising numbers of murdered & missing indigenous people. Society, whether they wish to admit live within a living organism that determines who lives and who dies.
I've battled with myself wondering if I am giving my indigenous female voice the right power. Being interviewed took me from one dome into another dome. Each making me visible or so it seems. I’ll use another example. My voice should any of you ever spoke or speaks to me over a phone call when not know if I am indigenous or NOT. It's when you see me in person that you realize I am educated. The Dome is like an invisible helping hand guiding me forward with my voice. It may not work as effectively as a non-indigenous make’s voice. Yet, I truly believe social media is the message.
Again, it's not comfortable realizing so many reports of sexual assault go unreported or misfiked or under investigated.
