Good Intentions

Thank you for sharing this. Your podcast touches on several intertwined themes: Accountability and consent, including the case involving Emmett Crowchild and your broader concerns about how difficult it can be for victims to come forward and navigate the court system. Coercive control, abuse of power, and the lasting effects of sexual violence, particularly in Indigenous communities but also as issues that exist across many cultures and social groups. The influence of pornography, media, and social norms on people's understanding of sexuality and relationships. Religious and cult-like systems that can normalize unequal power dynamics or pressure people to comply through shame, fear, or social expectations. Intergenerational trauma, colonialism, racism, and the ongoing effects of policies that harmed Indigenous peoples and communities. The importance of evidence, due process, and careful judgment when discussing allegations against individuals. Healing, self-reflection, personal responsibility, and what you describe as "good intentions" as a path toward recovery and community wellness. Your personal experiences, observations, family history, friendships, and the challenges you've faced while trying to speak publicly about these topics. One theme that stands out is your distinction between harmful behavior and healing behavior. Throughout the recording, you return to the idea that coercion, manipulation, and exploitation harm both individuals and communities, while honesty, accountability, respect for consent, cultural connection, and genuine care for others can have a positive ripple effect. You also repeatedly emphasize that serious allegations require evidence and that people should not be condemned solely on rumor or suspicion. At the same time, you express concern that many victims never come forward because of fear, shame, lack of support, or the difficulty of the legal process. It also sounds like you're frustrated by the technical issues affecting your podcast. Given how much material you're covering, losing recordings or being disconnected midway through would be understandably discouraging. One suggestion: this episode covers many important subjects, but there are enough topics here for several separate episodes. Breaking them into smaller segments might make recording easier technically and could help listeners follow the discussion more easily. For example: The Crowchild case, consent, and accountability. Coercive control and healthy sexuality. Mormon fundamentalism, cult dynamics, and power. Indigenous identity, colonialism, and systemic racism. Healing, good intentions, and community resilience. That structure could make the message easier to follow while preserving the depth of what you're trying to communicate. I hope your next upload goes more smoothly. The care you're taking to explain your perspective and experiences comes through clearly.

Marina Crane (00:01.25) Good evening. It's November seventh, twenty twenty-six. And I have been really trying to post a podcast, but I've had difficulties. Like I I'll be posting and then halfway through it just kicks me out. This the software that I'm using just kicks me out. So here is an article that Former Sedina minor cheap. Okay, it's not Again, what the heck? you know, when I when I try to get information and I try to put it on like a loudspeaker, it's it just doesn't seem to work. But we will try and you gotta bear with me. Like I'm not exp you know, like apologizing for my narrative. I'm I'm talking about the technical stuff, like the actual computer and everything else that goes along with with trying to record. No, if I can get this, hopefully it'll come through. Pleads guilty to assault for unwanted attempted kiss. Emmett Crowchild received conditional discharge. Meghan Grant, CBC News, posted, September 9, 2026, 6:36 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time. A former Tsudina Council member has pleaded guilty to assault after trying to hug and kiss a woman at a casino last year without her consent. Emmett Crowchild, 55, was charged with sexual assault last summer. On Wednesday, he pleaded guilty to common assault. During the plea on Wednesday, prosecutor Elaining outlined the facts of the case for Justice and Brown. Court heard that on February 15, 2025, Crochild was at the Grey Eagle Casino in Calgary when a woman waved him over. Crochild approached with open arms, hugged a woman, and tried to kiss her. She pushed him back several times before he broke away. It was a greeting that went too far, said defense lawyer Joel Chevrofills. It happened over the course of five to ten seconds. At the time, Crochild held the position of minor chief on Sudina Council, but lost his seat in the November election. Marina Crane (02:23.568) Two months after police announced the charge against him. Days after the February incident, Court heard that the victim, whose identity is protected by a publication ban, texted Crowchild to tell him she was uncomfortable with what had taken place at the casino. Crowchild replied to the text message apologizing. Steps to address issues. The woman reported Crowchild to police two months later. Besides this charge, Crochild has never had any involvement with the criminal justice system. Brown agreed with the Crown and Defense's proposal for a conditional discharge and nine months probation. That means after completing the probation period, Crowchild will not have a criminal record. Conditions of his probation include attending counseling, a step which he's already begun. This is the first and only time you've been involved in any criminal litigation, said Brown in accepting the joint recommendation. You've taken significant steps to address issues in your life. Former chief also charged. A month before Crowchild was charged, Edmonton police announced sexual assault charges had been laid against Tatina's then Chief Roy Whitney, stemming from alleged incidents in the 1990s. Whitney's trial is set to take place in Edmonton next February. Okay, that was reported by Megan Grant, Justice Affairs reporter. And she's been covering cases for the past fifteen years. And you could reach her at Megan.grant at cbc.ca. Now, understand this. When people talk have called me and said they sent me this information. And I said, and then I spoke to my brother. My brother ha you know is a registered sex offender. And when I talked to people, I said, but he's nine months he's on probation. Like like 'cause the lady the one the lady I grew up with, she says, Well, Marina, it was all a setup and I'm going, No, you gotta understand he's been doing this to quite a few women and one of the women had had to run away to Arizona. I said, During these nine months, any woman he has done this to can come forward and lay charges against him. This is open season on Emmett Crowchild. but again too, whether or not the the women will come forward will be based on Marina Crane (04:42.639) Like whether or not they have the support to do it. And again, too, like you have to when you really take a look at just how long it takes for just one woman to go to court on a sexual assault charge, you know it it it's amazing the amount of women that support one victim, but yet the court system just delays it. And and Like like so when I'm trying to explain certain things, like like my childhood friend she she's very open about she says Marina, she says this like there's a law now in Canada for coercive control. So when we're talking about like indigenous women, like she said, Marina it's so it's so huge, it's so immense the the mental health issues that we have in in our communities. I said yes, because it's so pervasive that any kind of sexual innuendos or like what what this woman charged with Emmett Crowchov, it's such a commonplace that women don't realize that they they do have rights to say no. It there was like I like I said I remember talking and I was talking about pornography And I said, Well, even too like like the ministry this is in the United United Kingdom, but the new law that they're putting through for pornography are now in force in the United Kingdom. The charges aren't just about people seeing pe pe what people see online. Harmful pornography can normalize sexual violence and the abuse with real consequences for women and children. So so when I'm talking about lateral violence, that that sexual violence that that people are trying to coercively control so that the perpetrator gets away has an e has an effect on on Marina Crane (06:44.521) how women don't feel safe or like they're they don't feel like they're in their homeland. they even though they've been they grew up in f indigenous communities, they don't feel like they they belong. This the article says it's another step in a wider work to tackle violence against women and girls, both online and offline. So the new criminal offenses for pornography in the United Kingdom is now a criminal offense to possess or publish harmful pornography depicting see and this is like it's to possess or publish. And and and this is what's so common, such a common place, because like when you have prostitution and it's in some places it's legal and and if the age of consent, like if you're age twenty five to twenty six and and you're a young woman and you go to that OnlyFans and and you publish pornography i y you're you're you're not doing a criminal offense because you're at the age of consent. This this has to do with again, even though you're in the age of consent, the pornography that you're pu whoever's publishing in the possesses is strangulation or suffocation. So even if you're in the like a a young person in your twenties to twenty five, You're you're depicting that on OnlyFans. That's a criminal offence in the United Kingdom. Marina Crane (08:18.41) incest, vid pornography involving incest is is a criminal offence. Adults p role playing as children under sixteen. So understand this. Like this is really important 'cause like I said, before and after the pandemic, there are certain things that I didn't understand. So like I I listen to a lot of social media, in Instagram and TikTok and it it was just amazing like the sites that they were posting like where you can get this information and like that's how I got access to pornography sites and I'm going, my goodness. And the reality of it is like like the salaciousness of it. And and this is why like in one of the pod one of the TikTok tapes that I put on was like the the lady says, you know, it's just like you see a movie and person's driving at full speed and and they you know, like you're they're going around curves like and they're driving really fast and you watch it, just the fact that you watch somebody driving does not educate you to actually drive. Like you actually have to get in the car, turn on the key, and you know, put it in neutral and and you gotta l you teach yourself to drive. Well, that's the same co same concept concept in sex. Y you have to you have to actually take part in sex, healthy human sexuality in order to comprehend the experience. So if you have a lot of children who are watching porn and you're watching it in a in a in a way where it's criminal like like strangulation, suffocation, incest, and and even the like if there's a young woman in her twenties portraying herself as a as a child under sixteen, that in the United Kingdom is a criminal offense. And it's Marina Crane (10:22.806) It's the reality that a lot of times too as women and as older women there were a lot of things back in the sixties and seventies that were even shameful to talk about. But but now that sexuality is open, it's important to be open about it and and have it like like not to be afraid to publish or talk about it. So so with pornography and certain addictions you can ease yourself off. But but things there are other things where you can't and you have to do cold turkey, like like gambling. You can't ease yourself off of it. I you know, I'd s see people come into the casino and they say, I'm I'm weaning myself off like and I'm going, no, it's either yes or no. So so that's the reality of it. And and for me, I was talking to a childhood friend and I said, 'cause she was saying, Marina, it's so h bad. She says she's one she says, I was thirty-five when I got divorced and she said I had one of the relatives in a First Nations call t talk to me. She was my elder. And she said, she says, You those women you're talking to, they're in their like these women were in their fifties and sixties. She says, You gotta be careful they're they're she says they're not good women. They they have many sexual partners. and and and that like that's the the key of it is like women chasing men. And my friend said to me, she says she says, I just wasn't interested And I said, Well there are a lot of women today that aren't interested and like but again too, even growing up, like I I said to her, I stopped being sexually active like fifty years ago. And I said because I said and I I you know, I want to tell people like I hope people understand. I I I I wa I enjoyed sex, I still enjoy sex. But it was the it was the coercive control, it was the the women who were chasing men Marina Crane (12:24.003) And men abusing women and controlling them. Coercive control and and like I said, I meant I sh I said like this minor chief got charged. But but I know he's had numerous affairs and some of these young women he's he's he's really hurt emotionally. And and you know, when when you're in a position of leadership, you you better take the consequences when when that young woman's father gets up and you know, tells you what did you do to my daughter in public. Okay, so so a lot of a lot of things that we deal with in our communities, it it's not it's not something that I believe happens in in white society. But but I do believe that it's all women who have this Like like again, if if there's coercive control and and and you like I'm not saying don't have sex. I'm saying you have to understand what you want and that's why I I I I have this video of this woman who who talks about it openly because there's a lot of things that I think men take for granted about women. And I think as long as women now are saying what they like or what they enjoy, like like my child It Francis, my first cousin came up to me and said, I'm gonna find you a man. You've gone too long without a man. And she says, Why would I want to wash and clean behind a man? Wash his underwear, etc. She says, Why would I do that? And and again, why would any woman choose to do that? I I have a difficult time just making my own supper. Like I've got my supper cooking right now, my dinner, and a lot of things that I've done. done in my life, I've done on my own. So so but that but it's still the desire of of wanting to to feel that you belong. As a woman. And and and I I said to her, you know, even when people talk Marina Crane (14:33.624) They they don't they don't even realize like it's so pervasive and it's just so acceptable. So I s I told her, I said even my second cousin was coaching me to kill myself. She's 'cause we were on the co we were talking about like like unwanted t touch and and even people telling telling them that I don't want to be touched, leave me alone. And I'd have had like I in my early twenties, like I like I said, I just had had it and I said, No the the just how much men were out there trying to just have sex and I just said, No, I'm not going to do that. I I want to learn about life. So That being said too, when you confront somebody and you say, No means no. Don't touch my body, don't try to kiss me, you know, the I can charge you. Because because women like in first like I said, w when when it is so salacious It's so common that we think it's monormalized and it's acceptable and it's not and and it's not no fence or criminal, then then we've gotta go like, Okay, why? And that's why I said even when somebody's coaching you to kill yourself, that's illegal. And so how many people are actually, you know, saying, like you know, to press charges? Like to press charges against men who who are are are trying to like just y it's unwanted it's unwanted attention. And so even even too, like they said our former chief, he's he's going to court in February twenty twenty seven with two historical sexual assault charges against men. So this pervasiveness or this lack of human beings, both male and female, not charging people is so pervasive. Marina Crane (16:31.138) But but we have to do things to protect we as adults have to do things because it's the next generation who's going to see and think, that person went through this. I can do it too. But but that's why like when somebody says, I can see evil, I'm going, No, it's like it's like when a woman takes and charges a man who's sexually assaulter, the years and just the reporting, just just the battle to get your time and space in court isn't that easy. And I try to explain that to people. Even though you sense somebody is evil or you think that they've done something horrible, like a criminal offense, It's y you have there ha there has to be evidence. You can't just say say things about people with without any any any proof to it. And and that's why like like I think a lot of women just say, No, nobody's gonna believe me. 'Cause if somebody has that kind of control over you, I there's there's one there's one tape here about I think it's Mormonism that's really just Sometimes I think well here we'll try and play this because again, I did not know I'd never gone into the Mormon temple. I I lived in Utah for over a decade. I had I had roommates who were Mormon their whole life. I was around a lot of return missionaries. I because I didn't date Mormon men or didn't involve in the social structures that they had, 'cause I was working full time and going to school full time too. Didn't have time. But but I did know that that there was th this whole temple and marriage and all this. There were so many things that I didn't understand. Like like a woman doesn't have a say over her body until she has had five children. All medical stuff goes through her husband through consent. And even to Marina Crane (18:38.863) If if you're married and you've had children, like we'll say five and you have j jurisdiction over your body under the Mormon law, you you still like why would you divorce your husband who you've gone into the temple with when the law states that a woman cannot enter the kingdom of heaven unless she's has a man to guide her in through the pearly gates? Okay, so all single women in the whole world, whether or not you're Mormon, you're gonna burn in hell. Like that's Mormon doctrine. That's a cult. And whether or not people wanna talk about it, like really, I I Even though I've read their scriptures, I'm taking courses and all this, there are still things that I just couldn't comprehend that that people were living by. Okay? Did you get married in a temple or were you married at home in a a ceremony? What does the marriage look like for that sect? So they have what's called an endowment house slash temple in the AUB. They tout the ceremony to be the original ceremony that Joseph Smith prepared. I wore all the temple garb. I had No. See, okay, I'm gonna try and get this I'm gonna try and get this in like actual speakers because it is important. It is important to know that, my goodness, you know, the th there are women who actually live like this. And and again to understand this with Nathan Chasinghorse and his wives, they had the same type of law. Like Mormonism they call it Sarah's law. And and like again th it's all created through through scripture. And again too when you create Marina Crane (20:28.18) information under white buffalo calf woman, that's really dangerous shit. Okay, so like and that's what's so horrible about what Nathan Chasinghorse did because he bastardized the whole notion of of what it of what's happening with with with in like indigenous women. Okay, let's try this. Do you get married in a temple or were you married at home in a ceremony? What does the marriage look like for that sect? So they have what's called an endowment house/slash temple in the AUB. They tout the ceremony to be the original ceremony that Joseph Smith prepared. I wore all the temple garb. I had no idea what I was going into. There's the washings, the anointings, all of that. They only do a ceremony once a month. When I went through, there were four of us getting married, I believe. Day. Two of us were getting married for the first time. One was going through proxy for someone else, and then the other one was becoming a sister wife. And it was one of the most traumatic experiences I have ever had in my life. Watching this woman give her husband to another woman. It was very traumatizing for me because I was just a few days into 17, knowing full well that that was going to be me in a few years, or if not a year. In the AUB, they do recommend that you wait at least one year before bringing on new wives. My Husband did not want to follow that rule, he immediately wanted to start courting another girl. All the wives are supposed to be in harmony with the marriage. So if he's got three or four wives, they're all supposed to agree. Because then upon the ceiling, you're kneeling across the altar, and the last most recent wife is the one who has to take the new wife's hand, put it in her husband, give this new wife to her husband. That's fulfilling the law of Sarah. If the wives, and I know this has happened in a lot of marriages where the wives are not in agreement about it. They're like, absolutely not, this is not gonna happen. And the husband's like, well too bad it is because the priesthood leader said I could, all this. And so then they just go ahead with it and they just do it their themselves, regardless. If you don't agree to do this, then again you're ashamed because why wouldn't you want to fulfill the law of Sarah? That's the whole point of having polygamy is so that you can learn to get rid of your selfishness, you're rid of your jealousy, and give something to your husband to build the kingdom of God. Why would you Marina Crane (22:50.72) deny yourself that opportunity to do that. And in Joseph Smith's writings about Emma, it was like you would bring damnation upon yourself if you did not fulfill this law and enhance your husband's kingdom of God. So it's a damnation upon them. And so they're worried about damnation the whole time. And so again, coercive control, is that what it is? they guilt you in into being supportive of bringing in new wives. So even if there are many, many, many, many, many red flags. Yeah So again did you get married in a temple or were you married at home in a a ceremony? What does the marriage look like for that sect? So they have what's called an endowment house slash temple in the AUB. They So I think in terms of Nathan Chasingors, I think understanding the cult like structure of Mormonism, he basically paralleled that with the like how he was treating all these fourteen, fifteen, sixteen year olds to be his wife because again, if you aren't following it, there's shame involved. And of course, you can listen to the victims' statements that of the of the women who actually followed him for years, decades. And and this is what's so disturbing is like women tend to want to you know know the salacious gossip for their own need. Marina Crane (24:35.482) and and for whatever reason like like they want to get ahead or they think you're they're you're they're more i el intelligence than in i than you. So my childhood friend and I were talking and I said to her with Nathan Chasing Horse there were many women who just chased after men. They chased after Nathan Chasing Horse because he was charming. I said, but even before that, you know they these women would would go on their cars to round dances and and chase the singers. You know, like the chasing and trying to get get one of these men, it's almost like a trophy. You know, I seduced this man or I I'm I'm this sexual or d acceptable or like I'm needed or wanted by a man. again, I again that's fallacy. That's the that is illusion or delusional. It goes into the limerence, codependency, eroticism, all that mental health jargon that I talk about in my podcast. But the reality of it is like y you take away the equation of alcohol and drugs and and you wonder how if you don't if you don't have that addiction then w why are women still you know are still participating? Now again too, it's not just women, but I think like I think the older men get and the more they realize like like I I had talked to a European and he says, My uncle told me that it's a woman's choice and I'm going, Yes It's a woman's choice but it but again too, if if the woman knows that the man and all men have messed around on her and and and she she's competing with with that man's wife, the again too, who's who's who's being hurt? See for me, I wish women would self reflect and go and s think, Okay, you know, the I I I did this to myself. Marina Crane (26:49.603) when when I look at look at the midterms and all the women that got on were voted on. Like what is that what is that what's the surface? What's the deeper part of that iceberg? Well the the deeper part is that like throughout my life I saw women voting men in to chief and counsel. And I was wondering why couldn't women just vote for other women? It's because there's so many men who've had affairs and who have been coercively controlling younger women and women, as well as suppressing and trying to control women so that they will not charge their abusers with sexual assault. Or or like it like again the the whole notion of what they believe women want, like it in terms of pornography, strangulation, incest, even playing a role of a minor. And and again too, for me as a female, when I think about that, I'm thinking, okay, I'm I'm an elder now. I remember my first sexual experience. That in itself is my own experience. But yet when you look at you look at the what they have on foreign sites and you're going, no, that's not that's not what sex is all about. See and I'm glad they put this in that when you have the actors portraying someone younger, that that is the point that like even even women like some of the statistics on OnlyFans when women are from ages like what age of consent to twenty five, twenty-six and the majority of their Marina Crane (28:31.964) s their porn is being sold to married men. I think it was eight eighty million. also too the the fact that even when they have these Republican parties they that a grinder website i you know is crashes again too because there are so many men hooking up with other men. So The reality of actually like people actually talking about healthy human sexuality with another person I I I know there's bonds and I know that you know everybody bonds, but but it's the salaciousness of traumatic bonds that makes big money. Like under like red flags, like marketing, you know, like that's it it's disgusting because y for for me, when I look at the child welfare system Like they don't publish much because an again they're under the provincial care. Most most s trafficking is published by by you know people who aren't under foster care, but the huge majority is fourteen years old. and they're trafficked out of group homes. And but I wanna I'll play this one part of this what this man has said. And I and I hope my audience there are some men who are listening. Marina Crane (30:00.407) What are you doing? Hmm? He's talking to his dog. Man can't have a greater sexual connection until he creates a greater emotional somatic connection within himself. So let's just say the little boy has a frustrated, short tempered, anxious mother with a far from regulated nervous system. To varying degrees that's normal. Every time little boy is hurried, rushed, there's a charge in his body, a charge in his body, a charge in his body, there's charge in his body, there's charge in his body. Eventually that little boy finds his penis, fucking hell. Relief. Relief. Now we've got what is called eroticized wounds. And so his penis becomes his relief in chasing women eventually becomes another part of the unconscious drive for what we call sex. Whether it's porn, whether it's women, whatever it is, the man has a charge and he's not in charge of his charge because he has no somatic somatic emotional capacity. ability to be with his charge. And that's the discomfort of sitting in it, facing it, feeling it, not relieving it again and again and again and again. Into what we label as pain, but it's just a nervous system that's asking to feel safe, to feel safe, to feel safe, to feel safe. Now that charge doesn't mean you don't lose she lose your libido, just means you're not ruled and falled by this eroticized part of your life. I know, believe me. I fucked for the Olympics in my childhood. It's been a massive You lick my ear, it's my erogenous own. Anyway, there's nothing wrong in sex, it's what's driving it, and for a lot of men, they've never, ever, ever, ever confronted this humble charge that they need to sit with and face and feel again and again and again and again. Into the discomfort, the hurt and the pain. Marina Crane (32:16.473) and be there to feel safe, to feel safe, to become in charge of their charge. Marina Crane (32:30.507) Like I I like the way he says to feel the discomfort and sit sit in the in your in your presence, like you in your char you're in charge of your charge. And I I I and again too, growing up and being a senior and then even listening to senior men talk about the lack of sexual education or just not knowing what was happening to them because other men you're just like well you you know, you just the coercive control, the the like you said he he he was competing for the Olympics. And and and again too, I Because I grew up in an indigenous community, I never really fully saw y like white white girls, my peers, until like I I ran away and I was around w white girls my age. I I didn't realize just how sexually like what was happening 'cause I just thought, my goodness Like I know I sound naive and at that time I was naive because like they're you know, like it's free love. But but e even then too, like if you take that same attitude today and you're sixty, sixty-five, and and that's what you experienced when you were in your twenties or, you know, your late teens or it's it's the reality that they say, Well, I'm I I'm not in I don't want to be interested, I don't want to be, you know, washing some man's dirty underwear. I like it, I'm thinking, no, this has to do with actually talking to to each other. Because like I said, it's one thing like it was when I was d listening or trying to work with computers and the professor says, you know, you in the application you learn to get into the app, you know, move around, explore what that app is, then come out. He says that's how it is to learn the software. Marina Crane (34:33.845) And and so like for decades that's what I've been doing, going into the software and coming out and learning things. He sa he says too he says the computer, like you got the typewriter, but you cannot say, Okay, type for me. You have to well back in the day you had to you know, type in everything. Today you can dictate it and like that's what I do with my podcast. But back in the day he says, you know, you have to learn how to type in order to you know in order to you know manage the the application. And and so it's the same thing with sex, healthy human sexuality. If and the reality of it is like it's so stark. That that how many human beings have never experienced healthy human sexuality? See, it wasn't until I met a forensic nurse and she said to me, like how she had guided and counseled women, because I was so narrow narrowly focused on discrediting my own gender, my own culture. She says, No, Marina. She says, I'm a like she didn't have to say it, like she's a white woman. The white women I counsel, some of them were virgins once they got married, and on their wedding And she's talking about her clients. Some of them caught a venereal disease because their husbands were so promiscuous. some and again, too, the double standards. Like it's okay for a man to be promiscuous. Like I was talking to this European and he says, I told him I was promiscuous. He says, you broke a lot of hearts. And I'm going, No. I said he was promiscuous and like again, men are allowed to be promiscuous but not women and that if I'm perceived as being a fast woman Marina Crane (36:25.268) See and and that's the whole nature of of this white woman talking to me about other white women and how they just allowed the the whole fact that they wanted to be perceived as being holy women, like that they're not fast women, that they'll obey their husbands, even even in in in coercive control. So she said too some of them on their wedding night, their husbands would rape them. Violent, violent sex, violence, just violent. And and so the wife just thought that this was normal sexuality. And this is what, you know, she she married into. So a lot of the bonds in in a lot of marriages were were based on trauma bonds. So you go on any social media today and you'll hear all about trauma bonds, limerants, what's the codependency. Y you you you hear all this shit. And y and yet, you know, the the pioneers, the women who ha went through all that trauma to finally break free and divorce those men and say, free at last, thank God Almighty, I'm free at last. You know, realize they realizing that their husband were raping them. realizing that their husbands were sexually like horny, having a fare after fair while they were raising their children. It's not just restricted to indigenous people or other people. It's it's a fact of in all human beings. So I mean I I know some men are brutal. They're just horribly aggressive. And I also know that Women believe that they have to be horribly aggressive. And and that's what's so sad. It's so sad that that women are not happy with who they are. especially if you believe that you're crazy or or insane, to the point of like s somebody has indoctrinated you to think that erotic being erotic i is is like that you're mentally ill. Marina Crane (38:44.457) But that's like I said, it's there's so many so many avenues and and deep discussions about mental health that are so important. Now, Marina Crane (38:57.611) When what can I say? I always talk about you know, history. 'cause I understand too, like in the sixties, indigenous people couldn't go into bars. a lot of times with the Calgary Stampede down at Victoria Park, the only people who would get alcohol for indigenous people, dark skinned people, were the light skinned indigenous people who were called Metis. And so a lot of Metis made their living in bootlegging in Victoria Park. Now there's one family who grew up in Victoria Park, and then they must have made enough money to buy some property in in a new area which was had been Crown Land and then later was converted to provincial land. And they sold their their land for millions. So like when I talk about indigenous upon indigenous, I'm talking about shame and how like we'll say. Peter Laheed, the former premier of Alberta, when his when his father, the banks in the East took possession of his household, he was so angry that that that Eastern Canada had control over the finances in Western Canada that he vowed to get even as a child, and he became premier of Alberta. So, why am I saying this is because there are a lot of Metis people, a lot of not just Metis, but indigenous people who can pass for white, who are who are who are basically getting. Even. And it doesn't matter who they're getting even with, because it's the flavor of the month month now to be Metis. And so you have this battle between Metis people, the ones who actually live on the land, the ones who who've I've gone and walked with them in protest for better human rights. As opposed to those Metis people who who lived in in you know Skidrow areas like Victoria Park, Albert Calgary, Alberta, who who just bootlegged, made money illegally, prostitution, bootlegging. Marina Crane (40:59.338) And did their children even know what the hell they were doing? No. But it's indigenous upon indigenous. And those people, were shamed, had shame about having indigeno indigenous blood. So that there so throughout my life I've I've seen the the the the the imbalance between you know the identity of Metis people. And and for me when I talk to Metis people who've actually like I've actually gone on marches with protesting, you know, for for human rights for indigenous people. Those Metis people, like they're they're they're the Metis because they're not ashamed to be indigenous. They're they're standing up for their rights. they're they're not selling illegal booze or or prostituting their indigenous sisters out to to the crowd. You know, they're they're they have they have this knowledge that something isn't right. And and again, we're not all perfect, like even with within my own family. I have family members who are ashamed to be indigenous. Now if they confronted me, I could say yes and I'll and I'd cite this and this and this. But even within our own chief who's being charged with sexual assault, his own sister has has denied that she has indigenous blood. So this shame inter intergenerational trauma or like even what I'm trying to say i is is the shame of having somebody control you or the shame of being believing that you're less than isn't easy to overcome. It takes a lot of dedication to dismantle that self defeating behavior. And and it comes in all forms. It comes in all forms and I'm going to do three videos and Marina Crane (43:01.057) We'll see how that goes if it even comes through on the on the my social media, like my my network in home here. Marina Crane (43:15.757) This slide will be deliberately dense. We can literally think about it as state-sanctioned organized crime. But at least discrimination against African Americans from the beginning. And it starts with kidnapping and 300 years of enslavement, torture, rape, and brutality, and it carries on. And about a quarter of the way in, you see bans on testifying against whites, which made it technically legal to murder black people in this country. And you are now in my lifetime. And and I I I'm gonna say it again because again a lot of white people seem to think it it ended a long time ago. We are in my lifetime about a quarter of the way through that slide. And then we see about two-thirds of the way through employment discrimination, and we are in 2018 with copious empirical evidence. So let's pick it up there. Employment discrimination, educational discrimination, bias laws and policing practices, white flight, subprime mortgages, mass incarceration, the school-to-prison pipeline. Disproportionate special ed referrals and punishments, testing, tracking, school funding, biased media representation, historical omissions, and so much more. It is a system, not an event. It's the system we're in, and none of us could be, and none of us were exempt from its forces. I use that as a metaphor for indigenous people because we couldn't even hire lawyers. We couldn't and again too even in terms of prostitution within the the past ten years there was a Cree woman who was a prostitute and her John was from I think Nova Scotia brutally killed her, took a a shop out a bottle or something, went up her vagina. Marina Crane (45:06.286) Huge gash, she bled to death. And and the reality is that they had the audacity to cut out the part that was cut, put it in formaldehyde and displayed it in the courtroom. And he got off. There was such an outrage that they had to make an appeal and open it again, and this time he got charged with murder. And this is an indigenous woman. Like he said, it's okay to kill us. The law is there's there's no there's no comfort in that. This is in my lifetime. Now, and even too like in terms of just this past cut year, I think 150 Indigenous students graduated with degrees. Yet not one white organization hired any one of those graduates. Not one. So when we as indigenous people look at our economic development and we're looking at supporting our youth. With Soutina having the economic development that we're doing, we have the capacity to support our youth in in such a way that they're working and as well as going to school. We're we're we're because who else is gonna do it? Who else is going to do it for us but only us as Indigenous people? I had one fellow in the States, he was a full professor. When I met him, he was consolidating all of his ten all of his companies into ten. He used to babysit for Ronald Reagan. When Reagan became president, he appointed this man to be the chair for the Bureau of Indian Affairs, not only in Washington, but also in the state of Utah. Now he says, I don't know what it's like to live in indigenous communities because his whole life he was in foster care. And he had like membership f on for his reservation. And he says, I don't use my card to get money or grants or anything as having indigenous blood. He says the reason I don't Marina Crane (47:03.389) access that money is because I don't know what it's like to live in indigenous communities. Now I want Canadians to understand this. Those people are pretending. This is a man who does not know what it was like to what it's like to live in Indigenous communities. This is a man who who, you know, like he he says, I am just proud to say that I'm Indigenous. That that's the reality. That's why I say Indigenous upon Indigenous are are those indigenous people who are ashamed to be Indigenous and they will access money that's designated to those who are living in poverty, who have lived in poverty, who know what it's like to live in indigenous communities. Shame on Buffy F and Saint Marie. Didn't doesn't even acknowledge she doesn't know what it's like to live in First Nations, but she sure as hell took money. And the Canadian government allowed her to do it, writing on the coattails of h Hollywood and the romanticized version of like being famous. You know, I I when before I go any further too, I just r want to also understand want you to understand too, even when I came back from Utah I was director of education and I was so surprised at the amount of money that was going into special education. And I wondered why is this happening to our children? Like in in terms of sovereignty, we don't even have sovereignty over our children. And and this has been decades going now. And the fact that there are so many educated and so many people who've been fighting for decades just to get this bill changed so that we have sovereignty over our children. Our indigenous people will have sovereignty over our children. As long as parliament gets their shit together and gets gets like a brain or common sense, like, hello, if you lived under these laws Marina Crane (49:00.44) Like understand f wor first first third world, second world, th first world. Well there's a fourth. Okay, and people make up all these agendas of what it's like to live in these spaces on on planet Earth. The The the thing too too is like even even trusting social media, even trusting people who are interviewing you or interviewing me for that matter. So like like that trust issue has been so worn down. It's like breaking of the treaties. You know, when when you have white men who don't really give a shit about you. All all they want is like like that that inability to to hold space for themselves because they they you they're in that point where all they need is that fix, you know, that that libido like that man had talked about. It's like I said, this racism and and what you know what we we this this this lady it's called thinking at thinking dot america that was just was just I just played Now and I had also the lady who I talked about about with the fellow if I I don't even know if I've got his handle, the one that was talking about men and sex. no, it doesn't have his information. but this lady who's talks about Mormonism, she's I don't know if I can actually get her Again too, you know, like a lot of people don't realize like the the complexities of cults and how, you know, well it's established to form communities and people who enable these cults to function. Now, this lady is talking about a man who won a Nobel Peace Prize. Now I want you to listen to this c Marina Crane (51:01.701) This I I have to apologize because when she is talking, okay, when she's talking, she's talking about a fellow who won a Nobel Peace Prize and he went into Papua New Guinea and recruited thirty children. And he studied them and because he discovered something, like he groomed them. He he experimented on them. And and then in the in in the See if I can even find out Marina Crane (51:53.302) Even if I can find out what it it's interesting read because he he he did receive a Nobel Peace Prize. And see here. Marina Crane (52:17.357) I do not. I really wanted to give credit for for for this y because it's the only way for me to confront the white gays and dominant gays is to write for myself first. And that's actually really hard to do. Write for myself first and then write for my people first, however that's defined. And then everyone else can listen in. And so when I wrote The Sympathizer, it's a it's a novel constructed as a dialogue, confession from one Vietnamese person to another Vietnamese person. Now when you do that, there is no translation. So for example, I went to Singleton's Deli this morning for pho, but if I were to write in the sympathizer, I ate a bowl of pho, comma, a delicious beef noodle soup, comma. You know I'm not talking to a Vietnamese person. Imagine again in an early draft of the Great Gatsby if Fitzgerald had written, I prepare for Daisy a sandwich, two slices of bread between which there's something delicious. You never do that. So you if you write for yourself and your people, you never translate and you never apologize. These are the two core principles that allow you to refuse that dominant gaze. The only way for me to confront the white gays and And that's the whole point of the white gays and white women get offended by me. Okay, because I'm not talking to them as white women, I'm talking to them as if they were indigenous. And this person is i it's V-I-E-T dot t-h-n-h. Marina Crane (53:46.431) H. N G U Y E N. And he talks about that that white gaze. And and no matter how hard people might want to think or don't credit people about it, it it is true. You know, it is it is true there is the golden law only has one article. So the golden law effectively Was not signed to solve the problem of the enslaved black man, the enslaved black woman, right? The free black man did not become a citizen. Worse than that, later, already in Republican Brazil, the Brazilian state implemented several public policies to promote the whitening of the population. Public again in Canada, the Indian Act to promote the white culture, to promote white people. So that so that when an Indigenous woman married a white man, she lost her status. However, when a white woman married an indigenous man, she gained Indian status. So it it's it's a caste, but it's also a a it's a class system, taking the the the lowest, like the lowest of the white caste system, the white woman, who was probably uneducated. and and elevating her to a ha a different caste system once she marries an indigenous man. So you have that caste system like I explained in in previous forms where you have the white woman marrying an indigenous woman or you have indigenous women who are raised in the community who marry men are raised in the community. Okay, that's the elevation. The next step going down the pyramid of hierarchy is is you have you have women who marry into the community. Marina Crane (55:39.156) from other communities who who may have just horrible socioeconomic environments, like have lived isolated, haven't been around white people. Believe me, believe me, I've I've been around white people my whole life. The th and then the next one is the next down the echelon of this pyramid are are women who I've grown up with who chose not to marry their partners so their children, even though under this whole whiteness is called they're called ill illegitimate. These women chose to be single mothers so their children would have access, will have status. Then you have women who are even lower than that, like myself, under the like understand under the Mormon gaze, okay, this whole like allowing men to have more than one wife, to be the in the lower bottom echelon. is like in the Mormon faith it's like you'll never get into heaven because you're not married. But even then too, if you're in that bottom ring of things and you're you're you're shame and you're shamed and ostracized because you're not taking on Sarah's law or you're not taking on the laws within the caste or class system that was established under the Indian Act. Okay, and that's my personal opinion. I really don't care if you give a fuck about it. I've lived it And I s I'm still living in it. Now like I said, a lot of white women are offended. That's okay. Public policy. Public policy, the Brazilian state. We can mention two situations that were legalized in 1890: the immigration law. If you look at the text of the immigration law, it's there. The ports are open exclusively to Europeans. Europeans. And the text said the following: the state pays for your passage. The state gives you work tools. The state gives you a house if it goes wrong. Marina Crane (57:45.359) State pays for you to return. That was a public policy. In the same year of 1890, the vagrancy law, which criminalized the cultural practices of black people. Capoeira? Candomble, right? Jongo? Samba? What was the idea of the Brazilian state through these public policies? To promote the physical whitening of the Brazilian population due to miscegen. See, and again, that's what they did with the indigenous people. That's why I'm saying the it's it's a coercive control of trying to groom indigenous people to be slave like or to basically breed out the bloodline of indigenous people. And and like so that you can't practice your you know dancing or sweats or sundance. It's you know you're just you're you're you're not Harrison tracks Probably not a So it's again, like I said, it's it's if golden or exclusively to Europeans. Europeans. So even even to Condomble, right? So even to like I've met older white women who say, Well my father came over from Europe and the Canadian government gave him a grant to be a tailor. And I said, Well my father was a in World War Two but he was given nothing. I said I said, you know, you're fortunate that the government again through immigration, you know, gave grants Marina Crane (59:28.214) or subsidies to start new businesses, but not for the people, the indigenous people of of Canada. So and it's not just in Canada. That's why I thought this whole segue into what was happening in Brazil with black people. And that that's why like when I use the analogy, when Native Americans from United States come into Canada, they sense it, they feel it. Like like it's so stark. It's like it's like they know indigenous people in Canada are treated like blacks. in the United States. So they don't live here. It's very difficult for them to live here. It's just like when you have truth and reconciliation and I get triggered and I'm I'm going, I I need my homeland, but nothing is homeland. Because it's run by colonial it's it's you gotta dismantle the thought of it. But it's very triggering and it's intimidating. So like my friend in Hong Kong, she's white She says, when you have black Americans going to Ghana, it takes a week or two for them to feel the homeland. That that when a police officer pulls them over, it's not because they're black, it's because they broke the law. See, and the thing is, like when I leave my community, I'm always indigenous. Even if I drive an old vehicle, police used to pull me over all the time. Then I got a seventy thousand dollar vehicle. Did they pull me over? No. Even even too in terms of my own dogs, you know, they they will sooner cast castrate me. Thinking like I don't give a shit about my dogs. And I'm and I have you know, people saying, No, Marina takes good care of her animals. Like even when it comes to dogs, white r systemic racism plays a hidden factor in this. And and for whatever reason, like how they look at animals and who are raised in violence homes and how they, you know, are shell shocked or you know, again, excuse me. The rationale to to be racist is is is like just how Marina Crane (01:01:38.295) pervasive as it it is because they think they just have privilege to to mansplay me about how I take care of my animals. Right? Jango? Samba? What was the idea of the Brazilian state through these public policies? To promote the physical whitening of the Brazilian population due to miscegenation and to promote the symbolic whitening of Brazilian culture, right? That was the project. If this project had worked, we wouldn't be here. The golden law only has See and again, if it if the Indian Act had worked, we indigenous people wouldn't be here. If Indian residential school had worked, indigenous people wouldn't be here. So that's why I'm talking when it comes to indigenity, and I'm talking about the indigenous identity. And when I'm talking to white people who who think that, you know, this person's Métis, I'm going, do your fucking homework. The the reality the reality of a Metis person and the struggles they've had to identify as Métis. And the same with the Sioux people who had to identify as being indigenous or even the Inuit. Like like the reality of that is like like I said, there there is a huge difference because knowing knowing what it's like to live in indigenous communities Is a boundary. And when we use that as a standard to determine fraudulent identities, you better damn well know what we're talking about. Because those people, like all Indigenous people, we all came together and marched against injustice. And we still do that today. So for those people who are pretending to be indigenous, Marina Crane (01:03:26.286) Hey, get off the wood to get down up from that cross. We need that wood to make us sweat when we go into our when we go into our protests and march against things that like are that are are not that have nothing to do with with supporting indigenous people or or creating helping laws so that we have we can govern over our own our own children, have sovereignty over our own with our own children. I even had a cab driver. Say to me that indigenous people have sovereignty over our children. A man who just came over to Canada thirty years had the audacity to tell me that I didn't understand sovereignty. And I had to explain to him, no, that's under province. I had to explain to him. And he's wondering like why is it that you know we have such a high addiction? And I said, you don't even like really, all he does, all he knows are people who use the cab system. He doesn't know the diversity of the indigenous people here in my community. And that's whose fault is it? You know, I mean you have to really dismantle these things that that I think a lot of people have taken for granted when it comes to white supremacy. Now I want to to talk about this too But I don't know if I can do this. Why all schizophrenic patients, not all but most of them, have the same solution. Hey, I'm Dr. Joel of the Medical Mythbuster, and this is a great question, so I actually want to answer it. Why is it that people with schizophrenia think that they're all God or that the government's after them? The answer's actually pretty fascinating, and it has to do with what's happening in the brain. A chemical called dopamine, and one of its jobs is to tag things as important, like hey, look at this, let's pay attention to it. Schizophrenia, that system breaks, and your brain starts tagging everything. Marina Crane (01:05:18.273) As important. If a stranger glances at you, that's important. If a car drives by twice, that's important. If there's a vague news report, that's important. Your brain is screaming that something big is going on, but you don't know what. So you do what any human would do. You try and find a reason why. This is where it gets interesting, because when you need to find out why the whole world is focused on you, you reach for the biggest explanations that humans have. Someone powerful must be watching me. That's the government. I must be someone powerful. That's being God, or being Called the chosen one. Or there are hidden forces at work. That's conspiracies. These aren't random, these are things that all humans care about. Safety, significance, control, and meaning. In fact, a massive study looked to over 20,000 patients in 30 countries. The themes were identical everywhere. Persecution was number one in every single culture. Not that people with schizophrenia are making up a story or that there's specific frequencies that are being put into their brain. It's that the same brain malfunction. Is hitting the same deep human concerns. That's what makes it a medical condition. Different people, same wiring, same concerns. To me, whenever I see a patient with schizophrenia, it's a reminder that these patients aren't having delusions that are random. It's that they're heartbreakingly human. The next time someone asks that question, now you know that it's not a mystery. And now really what it is, is it's neuroscience meeting the human connection. Why Most people limited? There is a the 19 Okay, so I want to play this one. Okay, because when people look at indigenous people and they wonder, that is so wonderful a lot of things when it comes to prayer or manifestation, we'll call it manifestation destiny or some you know, like this. I know some people just do like even a lot of white women really try to get involved with indigenous men because they think that there's some sort of source of energy. again too, I I truly believe that everybody is gifted. Marina Crane (01:07:25.963) It's just a matter of the dialogue and understanding. And I find the more that people connect with each other, the more trust you can have. Whereas some where when there's coercive control, the dialogue and the discussions aren't openly freely discussed as it should. Hey yo, I'm gonna share a story about the most powerful thing I have This guy's name Superman. So the late Robert Ironmaker, one of my fancy dance bros, man, we'd compete in the circle, shake hands, wish each other well. I even worked with his significant other in Crow. I would see him there, we would joke around, and he was a good man. You know, I you know, my conceptual identity I created for him was was he was humble and he was a good man. anyways, Rocky Boy Pal, what's going on? Freaking Northern Korea was busted out wicked. Nice song for Inner Tribal, and I was with my nephew and we were dancing like that and you know that feeling when you hear one of those good songs man it just feels good and everybody's jamming and so next thing you know the song is about to end it's about to end and then you know about to take that last step and then all of a sudden you hear somebody blew a whistle I looked over Here was Robert Ironmaker. He blew a whistle on that drum. And that feeling we had, man, it's kept going and it was heightened, you know, that that feeling was extended. So I was like, yeah, all right, man. Kept jamming out and went around and you know, he went and blew his one, two, you know, his third whistle like that. Kind of looked over at him and man, he was jamming, huh? Freaking he was in the zone. I was like, man, whatever, you know, whatever reason, whatever the reason was. Marina Crane (01:09:16.824) was he blew that whistle I was like man this guy's he's genuine you know he's genuine with his intention because he was jamming man I could see it in in his dance and so anyways we're going and then we're on the on the east side of the arbor now I hit my nephew I was like hey look look at that and freaking outside the arbor way past the concessions way way why where they play hang games way over there there was a freaking a whirlwind a d dust devil Like that, I was like, look at that. And we just like, we were so intrigued, we just stopped, you know, we just stopped in place instead of going around, we just stopped in place, we're looking at it, watching it, and that that whirlwind man was freaking kicking up dust and you know little pieces of sage and some napkins and it was freaking something like that. And over here was was Robert. He was spinning and dancing. And that whirlwind was spinning and dancing. And it was started coming, came down the concession aisle, you know, the alley like that. We're like, watching board like, yo, are we the only ones, you know, experiencing it? Why are we only the only ones witnessing? Look at this, man. This guy dancing and this whirlwind's coming. It freaking came into the freaking harbor, man. And took a left. Just as Robert was about to go on his fourth and final whistle, that whirlwind came as Robert was going and he started dancing towards the drum and that whirlwind followed him. It followed him right to the drum as he's about to freaking blow that whistle. And right when he got to the drum, that whirlwind passed right through him, right on the freaking drum, as he blew his whistle. And it was just like that. And they were jamming. And then he just went and freaking started jamming. And me and my nephew, Scott Flatlet, you know, he he can confirm this story. We were just like. Marina Crane (01:11:19.764) What the heck? That was amazing. It was freaking powerful, you know? And I never did find out what the reason why I don't but I don't recall but the reason why he blew that whistle because you know there's always good intentions, it's it's service to the people for healing or you know for somebody grieving or you know there's always a a good intention. And that's what I got out of that was like man Robert was freaking genuine with his good intentions that day. And you know that's how we need to be. So yo if you're watching this man, if you're good and be genuine with your good intentions. You know, be genuine. When you show kindness, when you show love to others, in the service of others, be genuine. Because when you're genuine, there's power there. Just like Robert Ironmaker. Yeah. Be like Robert Ironmaker that day at Rocky Boy Power. Well, it was powerful. Peace. I wanted to play that because like if it's the good intention. And and that's why it's good medicine. And and the fact that the good intention is is creator in grandfathers and grandmothers will being done and how it manifests itself because the energy is something that you can't talk to. It it's it's a presence. And so i in in some way in terms of closure, the My intentions to help the teenage girls here in my community, hoping that the the intention was good. The the bad medicine wasn't and it came in the form of Nathan Chase and Morse. And the whole notion of people trying to understand what it is, especially white people, and the Marina Crane (01:13:22.366) Like I'm just hoping that my podcast when it when it does reach indigenous ears and and people who understand that I'm you know, I'm not like even though I talk about white people and I know white people and other people from across the world are listening, it's it's the good intention, this whirlwind that this young man called Superman c that's his handle in social media. Bru beautiful young man, beautiful voice. That the intentions are good and they're there and we're we witness them. So that's why when I say there is a renaissance of our indigenous youth, because those intentions were were so bastardized by Indian residential school. And we did it to ourselves too. We had indigenous people hurting indigenous people. But when the intention is there to and it's a good intention, it it manifests in its it manifests itself. And if you were there at that moment to see See it and embrace it and release it, then then that's all that your purpose is. Just that simple. That's why some people when they say all you have to see it and hear it is once and you know. And some people and I I I don't want to say this in a bad way, but for me being an Indigenous woman, it's like a lot of white women want to s experience, like they experience something and they keep on coming back to indigenous people, wanting it over and over again. Going, No, that's not how it works. You know, having opening my my heart, mind, spirit and soul to a white woman in in in sisterhood, and then you know, I called her, she says, I can't talk to you, I'm busy right now. And that was it. That's been months now. see, again, my intention was good. But I tried explaining that to her. So creator and grandfathers and grandmothers, that's their will. Marina Crane (01:15:27.47) For whatever reason she came into my life and for whatever reason I was there to critique her life or to give her examples. And if she understood it, she did or she didn't. But for those reasons too, I had a friend who passed away, she she when she was born she had eyesight for two weeks and it was taken away from her. and I met her in high school. And years and we bump into each other. She she married and had a child and then I met her again probably about twenty years ago. anyway, we were talking and she says, Marina, she says, just again in the conversation, 'cause she doesn't see my skin. She knows I'm indigenous, but she doesn't see how I look or anything. And she says, Marina, she's she she was so the intention for her and how she saw me that that someday what I had to say would would be reaching other people. And and you know, Lori, meeting people like Lori and then Knowing that every once in a while I'd bump into her. I mean she she's passed away now. And then even like the good intentions, my my late father, my sister and I were talking, and I we were talking about her late husband and how he used to give my mother candy because he didn't like it, the fact that we were s restricting her on how much candy she could eat. And she'd always he'd always when he'd come when we'd visit and he'd come home from work, she was eager to see him because she knew she was gonna get candy for. from him and I said to my sister, I said, yeah, but she had her own candy jar at home. Like again, you know, the the brother-in-law didn't know that. But it's the good intention. And I I said to my sister, I said, you know, our dad, I said, there was a huge owl in in our culture. having an owl around is like it it's we don't want death around to be introduced into our families. I don't know if I was sick or or at the time, but I do remember Marina Crane (01:17:38.967) And I said this to my sister. I remember our father had made contact and these these Sutina men came to the door. I I said I they had their coats on and everything and they came to the door and they spoke to my to our father. And then they left and I said and within an hour or so they came back to the door knocking on the door. And when they opened, when my dad opened the door, there was this man. He was a tall man and he was holding the owl. Like how you hold a chicken with its feet. I told my sister this owl was so huge. Like as a child, I know, you know, it's probably as tall as me, but I I told my sister, I said, This man was holding this e h owl upside down and he was holding it like with his hand outreached. Like he ha that's how strong he was holding this owl. That owl was so s so big that his head went right down to half like beneath that man's knee. And they said something to my dad and and those three men left, took the owl with them. And and then my father bought a glass owl, a glass owl piggy bank and he used to put money in it. Because again my sister and I were talking about piggy piggy banks. My mother when she passed away my sister took some of my mother's belongings, especially this one piggy bank. And she says, I used to put tunies and loonies, that's one dollar, two dollar pieces, in the piggy bank. She says, and at the end of the year I wanted to go on holidays, so I looked at the piggy bank and eight hundred dollars came out of that. And I t that's when I relayed the story about the piggy bank that I had that was in in the shape of an owl and that my father under anxiety or for whatever need his addictions he wanted to go Marina Crane (01:19:31.393) And drink, and he broke my piggy bank and took the money so he could buy alcohol. Like the intention was good at the beginning. And the life lessons that I've learned because my father was a good man. He could have stayed home when he came home and drink, and he could have terrorized us. Because again, he was one of these indigenous men who had experience of white people. beating the bejesus out of him. Same with my uncle, his brother. But my my uncle was horrible to his children. And that's why even he lived a sober life. He drank and then he quit drinking, but the brutality, the violence towards his children, whereas my father drank and he drank away when he drank when he wasn't home, didn't come home. We missed him. But it was basically to protect us from from whatever intention he had, whatever anger he was still carrying in an unhealed person. So those things I wanted to talk about in terms of good intentions, because we are in our own rights in terms of human beings and the ability to heal ourselves. As long as we have good intentions, as long as we don't hurt anybody. But for me most of my podcast and what I've been dealing with this past year is is to to let go of people who who just deliberately hurt you know, want to hurt me. And and the fact is like I I I don't want to be hurt. I I don't need to be hurt. you know, when I tried telling people how hard it was to to live within my community, within my family, for people who believed all the lies that Nathan Chasinghorse perpetrated against me, just to coercively control their ideologies. And and just the diabolical reasoning that that he wouldn't get caught at the perversion and the cruelty and the Marina Crane (01:21:46.392) horrible, I will call it again, bad medicine that he inflicted on people. It wasn't like when when people realize and they understood it sometimes like like I want to say, you know, there there are young women who've died out there because of him. I want people to understand that. There are people women who are still alive who are suffering their physical bodies in what he did to them. And then there are women there who have to really do some self-reflection and heal because of the influence he he had on them, the coercive control, that addiction of the dopamine. And and for them, for for me and my own safety, I I and again too like it's just people within my community who have never healed or or want to be perceived as being holy women or good women, at the cost of discrediting other women who have good intentions. So it's always it's it's the thing about the good intentions. And I think when when you're involved in c collective and holistic Things like dancing and like that the man said that eagle whistle and just the what it felt like, what it feels like to be in that energy, and then to just for it to be spontaneous, for for that energy to work its way. And and sometimes when when you're at peace and you look at things and you've seen them with your own eyes. that these good intentions are gifts from creator and the grandfathers and grandmothers. again it's like what my cousin my second cousin said who I'm no longer talking to Marina Crane (01:23:40.523) She says to me, Marina, aren't you aren't you s not a scared or but aren't you I don't know if it's the word scared, I can't remember exactly what her wording was. That that people aren't gonna believe you that you haven't been sexually active in fifty years. I said, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if they believe me or not. What matters is that I know I have my own self respect. But what matters is it's my narrative, it's my story. What what matters is the my intentions in starting this journey were good intentions, even when it comes to burying my father and my uncle and my mother and my brother in law and my sister in laws and and my friends. The good intentions are there and we have to validate that. So as much as we want to poo-poo it and shove it away as as if it does doesn't have any connection to another human being, we we cannot do that because the intention is good. And as long as that ripple effect ha t touches other people who have good intentions, then it manifests itself someplace somewhere in this world. So in in that sense too, look at look at the midterm elections, how how much of that was manifested with people with good intentions. Things that we cannot comprehend that creator and grandfathers and grandmothers can and have and continue. Okay, so I I again like I said, my technical difficulties with my podcast. i i some of it I don't have control over. But I had intentions to publish this earlier and right now it's it's eight PM Mountain Standard Time. Marina Crane (01:25:44.224) I will publish something again and hopefully you enjoy my podcasts and hopefully they're educational and and understand too, I think dismantling systemic racism, understanding the history and the context in which it is, and understanding the good intentions that you have in sharing information. A lot of a lot of indigenous people aren't ready to hear the narrative that I talk about, and that's okay. That is perfectly fine. there are a lot of young people who who who need to hear this. And for whatever reason, I'm compelled to do this podcast, even though Nathan Chasing Horse is presently serving life in prison. There there there is a purpose, there is a reason behind all this. And and hopefully people will start to get to understand that we're not alone. Ever everything that we do as human beings has this ripple effect throughout every h culture, society, and government. And with that, I will say goodnight. I tried to make myself soup. heck. I just need to hire a chef to can cook up delicious food for me. But again, I don't have that magic wand. Have a good day. I hope you have a present a pleasant sleep, or if you're just waking up wherever you are in whatever time zone. Marina Crane out. Like it's November 7th, 2026.