truth‑telling, and the quiet strength of Indigenous women.

Marina, I read your entire document carefully. It is powerful, layered, and emotionally heavy — and it deserves a summary that honors the depth of what you shared. Below is a clear, structured summary of your story, grounded directly in the text you provided. I’ve included brief quoted lines from your document, as required. 🌿 Summary of Your Podcast Transcript 1. Your Mother’s Life, Trauma, and Strength Your mother’s story is the backbone of the narrative. She was a Dakota woman from Manitoba who married into Sutina, lived through Indian residential school trauma, and carried lifelong depression and shame. You describe her resilience: “She taught herself how to write reports, budgets… these are reports that are going to the federal government.” Despite the lack of support after your father’s death, she worked in detox programs, learned new skills in her 40s and 50s, and stayed sober for the rest of her life. Her healing depended on collective support, whether through the Nietzsche Institute, AA, Al-Anon, or even Mormonism. 2. Why Your Family Joined Mormonism Your family’s conversion was not about doctrine — it was about survival. After your father died, your mother was vulnerable, isolated, and ashamed. Mormon community members offered companionship and structure: “The only support she had was when my sister and brother introduced her to Mormonism… people in the church started befriending her.” You emphasize that people often misunderstand this context when they ask, “Why did you become Mormon?” 3. Intergenerational Trauma and Shame A major theme is how shame — especially shame about being Indigenous — shaped your siblings’ behavior. You describe how your mother knew they were ashamed of her: “She’d sit with me and tell me, ‘I’m not stupid. I know what’s going on.’” Your siblings’ shame manifested as emotional distance, judgment, and later, shunning. You connect this to colonialism, residential schools, and the internalized belief that whiteness equals worthiness. 4. Your Role as Caregiver and Advocate You were your mother’s primary caregiver for over a decade. You also raised your brother’s children and advocated for your niece Roberta, who fell through the cracks of foster care. You describe exhaustion, isolation, and emotional abuse from siblings who refused to help. Yet you honored your mother’s final wishes, including her request: “At my funeral, I just want one passage from the Book of Mormon read by a Native American.” You also prepared her body according to Dakota teachings with guidance from a Vietnam veteran. 5. Community Dynamics, Misogyny, and Lateral Violence You speak openly about misogyny in Sutina, lateral violence, and how people judged you for years. The Nathan Chasing Horse case became a turning point — people who once disliked you began to understand your warnings and your integrity. 6. Collective Healing and Indigenous Philosophy You emphasize that healing must be collective, holistic, and rooted in Indigenous ways of knowing. Your mother’s life is your example of how community support can transform trauma. You explain Dakota teachings about being a “good relative,” including the metaphor of washi (fat) and wasichu (white person): “The white man took the sweetest part from our very mouths.” This becomes a moral lesson about generosity, humility, and relational responsibility. 7. Climate Change and Global Suffering Near the end, you shift to the devastating Nepal landslide, using it as a reminder of global interconnectedness and the fragility of life. You connect this to climate change, your own experience with wildfire smoke, and the need for critical thinking among youth. 8. Final Message: Humanity, Kindness, and All Our Relations You close with Dakota philosophy — Wopidao Midakya Pioasana — “all my relations,” emphasizing generosity, compassion, and shared humanity: “Being a good relative means… you give what is best to your relative.” Your final prayer is for everyone suffering — those grieving, in hospitals, struggling with addiction, or simply needing connection. 🌼 What Your Document Ultimately Expresses This is a story about: A daughter’s devotion A mother’s resilience The wounds of colonialism The complexity of Indigenous identity The cruelty of shame The necessity of community The courage to speak truth The responsibility to protect children The power of storytelling as medicine It is deeply personal, deeply political, and deeply Indigenous.

Marina Crane (00:01.528) Good morning. Marina Crane from Sutina. again, I can't see the Rockies because of the smoke. I'm having a cup of coffee to try and clear my my I have asthma, so I I have a hard time unless I take my inhalers. Now yesterday I did a podcast and was for me quite disturbing. because I talked about Mormonism and the question that I get most often from people saying, Why did you become Mormon? And the majority of times people don't realize that back in the time when my family became Mormon, my father had recently passed and and he was an alcoholic. He was a survivor of Indian residential school and I remember as a young woman hoping that he could somehow main ha get some sobriety. And at the time people were going to sweats and finding that returning to indigenous ways of knowing a lot of people were sobering up. But my mother was quite vulnerable and and this is about my mother and the evolution that my mother went through. Because a lot of it my siblings didn't really see 'cause I'm I was her primary caregiver for over a decade. And at the same time too, this bond my mother and I had, when I would leave sh back to the States she'd get sick and end up in the hospital. So so I know there was a lot of attachment that I had with her. And and I don't regret being her primary caregiver, because it gave me an opportunity to understand the dynamics of what she had gone through. So when I talk about Daniel Smith and I talk about like this the shut her her cohorts, both Indigenous and non-indigenous, shutting down the Nietzsche Institutes, that's N-E-C-H-I, that was run by indigenous people. And it was a collection and validation of indigenous spirituality. So you had all sorts of indigenous people from different religions all coming together under the Nietzsche Institute. Marina Crane (02:22.866) developing program and curriculum and even attending these workshops as well so you could get accreditation to work in Indigenous treatment and rehabilitation centers. And this is like grassroots. Now why is this so strategically important is because at the same time that I was helping my mother, like like I said, I did the budget for first daycare and then in nineteen nineteen seventy eight, seventy nine, like Like even that my father and my uncle passed away within ten months of each other. my mother my mother had suffered most of her life w from depression and had tried a couple of times to kill herself. And you know, and the thing is like being the oldest, I witnessed all this tragedy or this depression that she went through. Unlike my other siblings who just sort of were living in Disneyland or some illusion or delusion, call it intergenerational trauma. But and I laugh at it because it's you know, it's it's hard to describe the the the despair and and the fact that she wasn't from here in Sutana, she is a Dakota woman married in from Manitoba. Now, why is this so important? Well, yesterday it was really hard for me to talk about my siblings. Then I called my cousin and I said, I you know, I need to talk to somebody. I just need to feel like I said I feel depressed and and and I went to went with my cousin and her grandchildren and you know I I called my cousin and I said I feel a lot better and and she's always there saying Marina you're a Dakota woman. You're a strong woman and and that really uplifts me because because again I have my mother the the teachings that she handed down to me. So I helped her a lot with with the detox treatment program and even helping her like giving her encouragement and she she did so much. She taught herself how to write reports, budgets, and these are reports that are going to the federal government. So you know, for an a woman, you know, that you know is in her forties and fifties learning all this, and also she had to learn how to drive. Marina Crane (04:49.75) Understand this too, in the seventies women didn't have the right to own their own credit card or own own a home. It might seem really unrealistic like I'm talking about some sort of fairy tale, but this is the reality. And even for non indigenous women when they married white like their white counterparts, sometimes on their honeymoon it was rape and and sometimes even when they on their honeymoon they caught a s sexually transmitted disease. So a lot of this suppression of women isn't just with indigenous women like when I talk about my mother, it it's with all women. And but but I do think in terms of women of color, that privilege of of like having some sort of satisfaction like my society is okay, my society is the true society, my society is like the the only the only thing. And and that's much the same in parallel with Mormonism, when they say th this religion is the true religion, it's the only r true religion up on earth, because it's coming right from Jesus Christ and the twelve disciples and from some planet on the other edge of the universe and la di da like you have to really do some research on Mormonism to understand the gist of what I'm saying. But understand this too. When I talk about therapies and intergenerational trauma and co collective and coer collective and holistic support, that you have to really have some critical thinking skills and understanding what coercive control is. So so a lot of a lot of that too has you you get it you get a definition you get a definition of what it is that that you're you know, what it is that that defined you that that create that made you like the person you are today. And and again too, you have it for me it's it's just the reality that that there was a lot of a lot of shame and guilt. Now I'm I'm trying to make this short and sweet and to the point is that when I was taking care of my mother, even though I talk about my my brother and sister who are Mormon and the fact that in Mormonism, the whiter your skin are the Marina Crane (07:13.442) holier and the more perfect you are. So th the whole evolution in Mormonism is that from the beginning of time, the creator was white. And so you have this white supremacist kind of movement and it's very dangerous too. Like I said, when I I was one of my professors w of history, American history, he said one of his students negotiated with him, he said, I'll show you how to kill a man if you show me how to skin a deer. Like like so flippant, so like comfortable in in just talking about killing. And and again too, like I talk about a one of the spiritual Dakota men that I knew who served in Vietnam and he said, you the way people talk when I say lateral violence in gossip, he says when you s talk bad about someone, that's how easy it is to kill somebody. And this is coming from a veteran who had killed thirty-eight Vietnamese. So the understanding of the way our mind thinks is always been interesting to me. And this interest came when I was going to university and I had a difficult time again because I was some autism and again I wasn't an avid reader. But I remember John Stuart Mills, the father of liber liberalism, became the youngest politician to vote be voted in the parliament in England. And and his father raised him in libertarianism. And and he did a lot in terms of feminism. And he married a woman two decades older than him, and the history is like he never consummated his marriage. And I always thought that that to be like really unique because you know, growing up where everybody just expects people to be fruitful and multiply, that is the saying in Mormonism, okay? Be fruitful and multiply. Like as if it's a commandment. It's I think it's a way a coercive way of controlling women, my opinion. But also there was a Shakespeare, William Shakespeare, who married a woman too older than him, and also didn't consummate the marriage. So when I look at the reality of men and ha men wanting to have somebody that they can ha talk to and have a narrative with, it and this is like Marina Crane (09:39.574) really like hundreds of years ago. And and today when we have so many young men who don't have the skill set to even talk to women and all they can do is swear. like it it's I think it's gone into a really difficult state. And I know some of the articles that I've been reading about pornography versus eroticism and and just the whole dissection of like again what is healthy human sexuality. But anyway, the the I what I'm trying to say is that even in Mormonism i I was interested in the people who were members of the church, not p particularly the prophet or the twelve apostles or the quorum of the seventy. It was just basically people who've b been living Mormon. And and for me, a lot of the because I was at a university and there were a lot of returned missionaries, I saw the perversion. I saw the the stalking, the systemic racism. because I wasn't in the higher echelon of return missionary or going to the Mormon temple. I was in the up to my the up to my you who you t like how up to my knees in in in the the the the trauma of of Mormonism because of just like the pure alcoholism and drug abuse. Because again they weren't raised around alcohol. Now what what when I when I talk about my siblings and how heartbreaking it is, you know, my like I mentioned earlier, my late mother used to I'm not stupid. She said, I know I know what's going on and and she you know, it was heartbreaking that she knew her children, my sister and my brother were ashamed of her. They were ashamed of her because of how they grew up around alcohol. And my poor mother took on the mantle that she was an alcoholic when in my opinion she wasn't. She was just so conditioned to needing residential school and fawning. And and for her, like the struggle with my dad. And 'cause I I know my mother. I and and you know, my younger brother used to say, I'm FAS and I said, No, our mother never drank. Marina Crane (11:58.156) Like I I never saw my mother drinking. I d I did a couple of times the older I was. But but in terms of abandonment or or abuse, no. And I just saw more of her own like own her own shame, her own self guilt, her just her own depression. And and like she said, this Indian residential school really played a big impact on her marriage. But it also had a big impact too on my brother and sister in the fact that that they're ashamed to be indigenous. It and and what I'm trying to get at is it's a holistic collective approach. My mother knew they were ashamed to be her children. because it's how they treated her and how they talk to her. That's why she'd sit with me and tell me, you know, I'm not stupid. I know I know You know, know what's going on. And and that's the main reason why, you know, we talk about her funeral and what she wanted and I had a had told her write it down. But it was so hard. I know, you know, i for every human being it's really difficult to write things down about your own you know, your own demise, your own death. And but because of that, she's been gone now for for almost thirteen, fourteen years now, and and I still am shunned. I'm still shunned by by parts of my family. And and the whole fact that that I'm I'm being dismissed or like I I I like I'm already I think I think when my mother passed away, my siblings just s saw me as being invisible, that I I don't exist. even though I ha I took on the responsibility of looking after my niece and nephew and advocating for for my late niece, Roberta. the the reality of the struggles that I faced because I was you know promoting promoting understanding of what it was like to not have support. You know, for my my niece to fall through the cracks in in j foster care and how it was affecting all children. But the reality of it too is that is that even with my mother sobering up in in the sense of Marina Crane (14:22.484) never ever touching another drink in her life was was the fact she had no support. And the only support she had was when my sister and brother introduced her to Mormonism and then people in the church started befriending her and talking to her. And that that was the key thing that kept me going, keeping my mother out of her depressive state, was to invite people from the Mormon church to come into the house and she would say, Why are you asking them to come in? And and I said, Well I said, you know, you gotta socialize with other people than myself. But but that's the whole key of it is that when w I and I use a parallel with my niece Roberta. There was nobody nobody in my community, other families that came in to support my family. And I and I use that in the sense that my family, because of Mormonism, never like they weren't drinking or or drugging. So so what was the what was the parallel in terms of abuse? or trauma or or coercive control. And and that's why I s I say to people, even though you take away the equation of alcohol and drug abuse, you still have the deep trauma intergenerational trauma, the behavior, the shame and guilt and the identity of what it means to be indigenous, especially an indigenous female. And and for my my mother, not this isn't her home community. And I I know she felt isolated. Just like like right now, like yesterday I felt isolated. because the reality of the fact that my siblings can talk behind my back about issues that my parents and my mom had handed to me to to watch over the land and and and their descendants. And like I said to my nephew yesterday, I said, I'll sign that paper. I said, 'cause I'm a senior. This whatever happens, it's it's the responsibility of my nieces and nephews and the and the grandchildren that are gonna h inherit this. It it's gone beyond that because yeah, I'm a senior. But at the same time too, it's the reality of what shame and guilt does and and the very fact that like they were ashamed to to have grown up and seen alcohol and drug abuse ha and project that on everybody else that that they're okay 'cause they're living a sober, clean life. But the reality of it is the cruelness, the sure cruelness. Marina Crane (16:48.8) And and and and I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm being perfectly honest with you because you know, throughout my dec the dec over the decade I looked after my mother and even advocating for Roberta. The the sure meanness of my siblings. I I had a forensic nurse that was a friend of mine. I became friends with her when I was the director of education in Sutina. And I started workshops for women and children and teenagers. And she she f even after I left that job position, I chose not to work in management even though the job was offered to me. Again, another position. I kept in touch with Barbara or her as as her family would call her Barbie. And as a forensic nurse I'd talk to her. every time my mother would go into the hospital I'd talk to her and I'd I'd I'd say to her, I don't know why my brothers and sisters don't want to go and see her. And and she told me, she says, Marina, they're just mean. I said, Well they say they don't want to s they don't want her the la the last images of her in life as her being sick and she says, No, Marina, they're mean. So intergenerational trauma and and the reality of what it means to be mean and vindictive. Like even even a year ago I paid for a trip to for to go to Ontario and I paid for my sister. and on the way back like I I paid for food and hotel room. and and I'm a senior, I'm a pensioner. So you know the fact she's working full time and I we went to go visit my niece, her daughter. But when we came back she abandoned me in outside my home, in the freezing cold, because she refused to try and open the door 'cause the key I had wasn't working. And and just left me. I tried calling the police to try and help see if they can help because she she she was exhausted and didn't want to help. My brother came over, tried and then anyway, as a result, I thought just just the meanness. So I didn't talk to her for about ten months and then Marina Crane (19:09.612) She somehow tr you gave a an apology and said that she's glad we're still we're talking. But but I'm I'm using that as an example of meanness. I my my other si sister, when my mother died, she she wanted to have my mother's wake in her house. Again, meanness. The the fact that that throughout the time my mother was alive and and like where where were my siblings? Where my where were my siblings to give me respite? And and the fact that my two Mormon siblings, my mother knew they were ashamed of her. Now understand that my mother knew they were ashamed of her. So that's why at the i the the latter part of the years of her last her life, she she didn't want to be around Mormons, but she wanted to show some respect by just She says, at my funeral, I just want one passage from the Book of Mormon read by a Native American. Not not a white person, but a but an indigenous person. And and that was her only request. Nothing else, nothing more. And and I honored that. And I did more than than just that. I made sure that the the the man who had killed thirty-eight people in Vietnam gave me some guidance of how to prepare her body and the ritual and ceremonies that need to be accompanied for her journey. Which again, you know my parents didn't teach me. I I had to rely on peers, my my own peers that grew up in other countries or that were still Sioux, part of the Oshate Shakhoe. Marina Crane (21:05.895) so a lot of my identity and what I talk about i it it comes from a lot of self revelation and self reflection and and the reality of like what it is to grow up in a family where there's the impact of inter intergenerational trauma and the the shame of of like who who you belong to, who who your parents are, that that shame and the disrespect because I see it all the time. in young people who some are FASE, some aren't. Some are just so angry at the fact that they're living in poverty or what they perceive as to be poverty. Because again they're going with n non-indigenous standards. They're going by white standards. And and for me that's the critical mass of it is that for for me to have some intergenerational or cross cultural orientation in terms of psychology. and human development because because those are critical thinking skills in in how to heal. So with my mother in healing, she she had to be associated with a group. Even if that group was Mormonism, or even if that group was El Anonon, even if that group was part of the community in Sudina that she worked and thrived in. And and that's why I talk about collect holistic and collective healing. Because and I and the thing is my mother did this. My mother had the tenacity and the willpower to deal with her own identity. She passed away at age eighty six and and just the sheer willpower, you know, just to not give up. This is a woman who I can't even comprehend what she had to go through. And and even some of the conversations she had with her siblings, her sisters. And and even even the intergenerational trauma and the shame and guilt even within my my mother's own siblings. So she only had one brother and the rest were sisters. And and the shame and guilt of the sisters, because all the sisters married white men. My mom and and one other sister and and a brother. They they they were the ones who married indigenous people and and there was s some segregation when it came to the other siblings. Marina Crane (23:29.696) again shame and guilt about being indigenous. So so even though I talk about my own brother and sister and I and I try to do some reflection too, you know, I I was like I said, I was talking to my nephew and he says he says, Auntie, there are so many families and different family members within the community that are ashamed to be indigenous and you can tell by how they d don't identify with being indigenous because because they have their nose up in the air I I know the Polynesians have a name for it and the same with you know, the Hispanics and I think every minority group has a name for members within their community who who act like, you know, their shit don't stink and they have their noses in the air. And and so, you know, that that's that's the result of of colonization and intergenerational trauma. But th and the the thing the thing though is like th the the need for a co a collective and holistic approach is so vital in healing. And and and my mom's life is an example of that. Because because she had to deal with the shame and guilt and understand with it within it with her own children and with her own siblings. And and the fact that it was always heartbreaking when she talk about it. Like sh the one sister would always travel back to Manitoba and she'd say to me, Why didn't she invite me? Again, shame and guilt. And And you know, even when this particular auntie was dying, she didn't even tell any of her indigenous relatives that she was in hospice. I I found out she was in hospice and I let the rest of the relatives know. You know, it the reality of of just trying to like l like right to the bitter end, to to not identify as being indigenous, even though you speak the language and you have relatives There are there are certain things that that they just don't want to be involved in. I think much in the same way like I don't want to talk to my brother and sister because it just ends up them twisting what I have to say. So I don't know. I I went through a lot. I went through a lot taking care of my mother a as well as like defending defending my stand against Nathan's chasing horse. Marina Crane (25:53.198) so it was it was a double whammy when even family didn't support me. And and the fact that to this day I have people in my community because because I took care of my brother's children and because I still am in contact with him, like he helps me. My car needs fixing, he's there. You know, he served his time. He he knows he he knows he did something unforgivable. And when I looked after his daughter for seven years, I'd constantly say what your dad did was unforgivable. Not not once justifying or making excuses for him. and and I'm grateful he's he's found a purpose in life for his his son and daughter. And and you know, so whatever like he knows. No, I I just I just tell him, you know, I I I just can't deal with our other brother and sister. The emotional abuse and the toll it takes on me. I said I I went through all that taking care of my mother. And I I went through all that advocating for my niece Roberta and and even against even against my own brother and and trying to keep trying to keep some balance with his children, you know, so that they would understand what their father did, not how never ever giving an excuse. The the reality of what he did was unforgivable. And and I think even when I went into the courtroom to see Nathan Chase Morris being sentenced. Marina Crane (27:40.471) It was Marina Crane (27:44.427) It was just a combination of everything I had to fight for. because of the gravity of it, that I'm just one indigenous person that has a story that has to be told because there are so many children who are depending on us. And if we can't if we don't have our shit together, how y how useful are we or useless are we? And and you know, for me, Like I said, I'm I'm putting this podcast out trying to educate people on how important it is to to tell your story, to talk about, you know, what hurts you, to to bring to percolate all those emotions that that that for decades maybe you've had you've buried them and have them percolate. I you know, my mother died at eighty six and and in the seventies like seventies Like that's how long and how much she worked in trying to help people sober up. And and you know, hoping that her children would would live sober lives, but at the expense of them being ashamed of her, even to that point even to that point of joining the Mormon church so they would stay sober, so they would live a good life because she she didn't have my dad to support her. She didn't have a a You know, anybody from her Sioux community, she was all alone here in Soutina when I talk about lateral violence and the sheer fact she didn't speak Soutina. I know most most of women who marry and do a lot of cause a lot of distress to our leadership because they are so demanding. Marina Crane (29:39.458) But you know, for me growing up here and and just experiencing misogyny and and hopefully now, you know, like thus this whole series, this whole incident with Nathan Chasing Wars within my community has has really opened up a lot of eyes for people. who I re I knew at some point really hated me, who really disrespected me, who didn't really understand me. And and now, even though I have such rigidity within my own siblings, the shunning and the the isolation that that they've put me through, the collective and holistic approach for people in my community creates such a balance. Such a healing modality for me as a as a senior now. And and the fact that that I had the tenacity to to stick by my values and beliefs, no no matter how hard it was, just to to be there to support my late mother, all the challenges and the questions she had that that I would sit down and talk to her about. Things that That she was so vulnerable about things that people wouldn't have even thought that she's an adult. She should know these things, but intergenerational trauma and the lack of education and just any questions that she would ask her shame and guilt from white people thinking she was stupid. The fact that she could disclose these intimate questions with me was so profound. That's why when people deny the intergenerational trauma of of children her age and the suffering they went through in terms of just how they see the saw themselves intellectually. Like it it's so devastating. It's so devastating. Now a lot of times like when I when I talk about devastation and and just the sheer impact of humanity, something comes along in Marina Crane (32:09.46) in our lives and shakes us up again and gives us a new purpose in life. And and and so, like I said, everyone we we're on a journey. Every one of us has some sort of mission we're gonna accomplish. And my my late friend Barbie used to say, she says, Marina, she says some some people that I counsel, they they don't even see the gifts they've got. You know, 'cause sometimes when I'd feel depressed, she'll say, Marina, like she'd point out my artistic my talent. I'm gifted. you know, and and the fact that I I'm a gifted artist, Barbie would say Barbs would say she said Barbara would say to me, She says, You know, you have that. And it's like it's like in the darkness you there's a spark. And and she says, Marina, in that darkness sometime my clients there's no spark. And and for her as a as a invisible helping hand in that darkness for for people to reach out to her and for her to hold on to them so they could s cr ignite and have that spark. Like that to me is what healthy human sexuality and healthy healthy human interaction and healthy bonding and and healthy healing looks like. And and a lot of times psychoanalysts and psychologists are are totally void of that. And and for that small reason of knowing Barbara and and interacting with with her makes me very critical on people that I do meet. At the same time too, it also gives me the opportunity to to embrace those people who are c who are kind hearted, who for for whatever reason, again boundaries, as children we we don't develop them and as we grow up we do. And as adults we have to respect those boundaries. Even even if it even if it hurts because you know, we're sometimes we get so lonely and so isolated, we're just like, Can you see me? I'm here. Can you see my spark? But I mean that's that's a whole other different discussion there. But I wanted to just say that. Like I have I feel at peace having put out this in my podcast. Marina Crane (34:31.316) of of the reasons why my family joined Mormonism. And and and again too, my community has developed in a s in a sense that there there are people now out there supporting each other. Whereas in the in the seventies it it wasn't that. It it it the introduction of alcohol and the introduction of indigenous people going into bars, that just totally fragmented and just sort of dissipated and you know th the it fractured it fractured our community. And and so like I said, despite the dysfunction or the enmeshment of my own siblings and the enmeshment of all families in in my community, because I truly believe intergenerational trauma i i is a part of that legacy. And and the fact that we have so many people who who are pretending to be indigenous because they have like their own emotional scars and I'm going, get off the cross. I need the wood to make a sweat. It's it's it's it's a parody, it's the irony of the fact that all of a sudden because they see strength in indigenous ways of knowing, they think that and they want to adopt it and live it. And I'm going, No. No, it's lived experience. you you have to be born into it. And and so So that that's why I'm very critical when when people, you know, question me like, How did you become Mormon? Well you you act actually have had to been witnessing like the way I witnessed my mother being abandoned after my father died and no support. None. And and and you know, whatever she could grasp on Nietzsche Institute, Mormonism, AA, Al Anon, any support group she grab gravitated to. And and and she was I again her and my father had had been in an organization called Moral Rearmament, again which was a cult. So a lot of this self help came with a with a lot of baggage of of deprogramming herself from different mechanisms like different cults. So so the fact that when Nathan Chasenhorse came into the community and met my family, who he obvious obviously sensed Marina Crane (36:51.98) the the shame and guilt to be indigenous and that shame and guilt is like a denial. Like, no, no, I'm not ashamed to be indigenous. Show me what a sweat is. Show me what a sundance is. And there's fucking Nathan Chasing horse doing it. Knowing that they're ashamed to be indigenous and saying, This is what it is to be indigenous. I am a proud Lakota's medicine man. La di da. While he's playing and performing he's sexually assaulting children. Grooming. Grooming. and and doing all sorts of p we'll say conjuring, grooming, coercive control. Like I'm using psychological terms rather than what non indigenous people and religiosity will say, call demonizing w witchcraft and shit like that. No, give it a psychology name, you know, what the hell? We're all human beings and even if we use definitions and de terms That are white, you know, we have to we have to understand things. Some some things in indigenous cultures, like love medicine, people put good and bad medicine on you. These are psychological terms. These are terms that have been enduring from the beginning of time in Indigenous communities. And and I'll give you an example, like of the humor that we have. And I'm I'm and I'm not showing any disrespect for Dolly Parton. But But when she passed away and just the sheer magnetism of what this woman did to help Native American people, just just her songs and how it touched people. Native American people are going, Who's making a medallion? Has anybody made a medallion? Or like or like they they say they are they're jokingly putting posting, we're having the our our band office is taking time off this week to mourn Dolly Parton. Like th they're not making fun they're they're they're they're there honoring her and and like we're gonna light fire for for Dolly Parton. Like like it's it's it's a humor within the humor of honoring. And and it's amazing how indigenous communities just came together to to to use humor in in respecting the passing of Dolly Parton. I I like when you see see things like that on Facebook and and you realize like my goodness Marina Crane (39:17.002) she she touched the hearts of so many people. And and it's not done in a disrespectful way. If when you're indigenous and you you have indil indigenous ways of knowing, you you know it's a sign of respect. And and so like I said it the the the parts that make indigenous people like attractive not mystical like that one young woman says yeah We can make it rain and we're spiritual people, we have magic, we we you know, we ride horses right from the time we're out of the mother's wound. Like all the stereotypes that people have created. Witchcraft, all the hoodoo voodoo like you know, just the fact that we're human beings. Like the baseline, human beings. That's why when I talk about healthy human sexually I say the baseline, think of it as all human beings as being bisexual. Have a baseline. Have a baseline to to do some self-reflection and where you stand on that baseline. In tur even in terms of being a human being, have have a baseline and see where you stand in terms of your values and beliefs. You have to. You have to. The life world the world is so much smaller and the impact that people have on each other is profound. Now that being said, a couple of days ago or yesterday I I wanted to play this And and and it's out of respect for just what has happened. And and I I don't know if I'm a quant here I don't know if there's a mountain on earth. I don't know if I'd today's my first ever wedding event. no, I don't know if I i I should have I should have saved it. I thought I did, but I apparently I didn't. So there's Marina Crane (41:08.472) There are the re the reality of what what happened just yesterday. I I sent it to I sent it to my cousin and you know it's just it's just horrific the footage of the mudslide that engulfed the border crossing between Nepal and India I mean China. It it's it's I I I just you know, I sometimes sometimes when I see the devastation of what what the earth is doing in terms of climate change, it's I don't know. I I just wanted to sort of bring that to light too because you know, d the the the amount of people that died and Marina Crane (42:06.542) Yeah, they said, I don't know if there's if I can get this on Marina Crane (42:15.85) on there was a there was a spiritual spiritual they they had a a pilgrimage to Nepal and he he was talking about all the he says at nine five they contacted them and saying that they were at the border crossing and then at nine fourteen you know the that that wave struck and and he he quoted all the people from all different parts of the world who'd been on this pilgrimage and just just the reality of of it, it's it's the impact that it had and just seeing those people running for their lives and some of them not even having not even having the ability to like like what, twenty stories or a hundred and fifty feet, like just a pure mudslide coming down coming down that mountain. So I I wanted to end my podcast with that because it's it's it's so horrific and I don't know if if you as the audience 'cause I was talking to my cousin and I said, Did you see on the news about what happened in Nepal? And she says, No. So a I think a lot of times people don't don't really get get the news. I think sometimes it it just Marina Crane (43:48.62) I don't know. Marina Crane (43:53.816) going to try and get this just I I wanted to I wanted to get one piece in place because it it it shows like a spiritual journey because this is a this was a like a a pilgrimage for for people to to go said the cause is a massive landslide this landslide took a large glacier the impact has devastated the valley below precise tracing helps us understand the full impact Experts said the cause is a massive landslide. This landslide valley below. Precise tracing helps us understand the full if you have a man. Is AHD course as I go through I choose I don't even look this is the area This is the area we're talking about high up in the Himalayas along the Nepal Ted border. The disaster began when an enormous section of glacier, ice, and rock broke away and crashed into the valley below. The collapse sent a massive debris towards the Lende Cola River system. The debris is believed to have temporarily blocked the river, creating a natural dam. Waters started building up behind it, minute by minute pressure. So like I said, there's everything so many so many details of what's going on on on the TikTok. But but understand this, it's important for people like it's part of the healing process when I talk about a collective and restorative like collective Marina Crane (45:37.214) holistic approach to healing is that in social media we we get that response right away and and we and it and and it comes into us. So we have to, you know, talk about it, we have to share it because sometimes things that happen seem so impossible that something like this could happen. And and for me when I watched the the video and I heard people whistling and yelling down in the valley for people to run away and and nobody could hear them because of the thundering roar of that water coming in, cascading into those those those buildings just collapsing and and the and the ground underneath like roads just collapsing. Just just you know, it's it's it's it's just amazing the devastation and and just the sheer impact. And and the fact like even in the morgues they're posting pictures and any there are there are body parts with tattoos so people could try to identify s loved ones. The sheer impact of of like just how many people have died I I think is so staggering. But but at the same time too, you know, it it has to hit home. It has to hit home for us. Like I live by the Rockies and we have Glacier National Park. We have, like, like I say, I I I've looked out my whole life, I've never had to live with smoke, this kind of pollution in the past 10 years. most of my life, when I've grown up here, the the sky has always been clear. The the air from the westerly winds from British Columbia over the mountains has always been fresh. We're we're so high up in elevation too that you know we we're not bombarded with tornadoes. But the sheer fact that the smoke is coming in from the states, from BC, from northern Alberta, from Saskatchewan, like just just whirlpooling around you know our our environment. And and the heat, like the heat domes in the states Marina Crane (47:51.916) I think Las Vegas has been going into like a hundred and fourteen degrees Fahrenheit. I and the fact that this is this is a high elevation in Nepal where they're saying the the water the water was thawing underneath that massive glacier. So it created a a wal like a lake underneath the the glacier because it was melting the the the the snow, the ice had melted underneath the glacier. So so the absorption and the weight of it all j just Saturated the earth and it just collapsed. And the fact that it fell so far from the mountain into that gully. You know, sometimes I've seen pictures and have heard pictures of tsunamis coming in from the ocean on the shores of British Columbia and how high those waves were. And those are sort of those are historical 'cause you you can see the the the traces of the sediment that was left hundreds of years ago. And the fact that, you know, we're we're living on a planet. We're living on a planet where w we have river we have tides, you know, the the the every every year every d night and day there's constant movement. So the sure impact of of climate change has to hit. I was driving home with my cousin and her grandchildren and even talking to my my other like my cousins. The one with her two her two grandsons, and we were talking about climate change and and and for them they it it doesn't click. And I I said to them, you know, I'm seventy-four years old. when I was born, Al Gore, the former pre vice president of the United States, was doing his master's thesis on climate change seventy-four years ago, predicting the outcome of what's happening today. And that seventy-four years of people not listening. Marina Crane (49:42.998) I mean the irony of it is like I can talk about predators, sexual assault, intergenerational trauma, coercive control, why people don't want to listen when somebody's warning people about a predator. Well, let's l just look at, you know, carbon and all the fuel, the pollution in the air that Al Gore was talking about. Nobody listened. Still nobody's listening. And and for these young children, you know, they're they're they're children, they're still you know, going into high school and you know, they they it just doesn't register for for them, you know, climate change is nothing. They they don't even see the timeline or like how how things how fast the environment has changed, even though I'm saying to them, no, in my lifetime I've seen this. And then and then my my other cousin, her her granddaughter, when I was showing them video the video on TikTok about the d the the the flooding in Nepal and how huge the that water la that mud and ice landslide, how tall it was. The granddaughter said, it's artificial intelligence, it's not real. So so these things as as adults and understanding that a lot of young people don't have critical thinking skills. And and at the same time too, yes it's important to develop curriculum curriculum that's age appropriate, all all the more reason too why, you know, I say in terms of sovereignty of ch of of of indigenous people having sovereignty over our own children, so that our ch if children aren't bussed into cities, into foster care, that aren't being trafficked at the age of fourteen, where people, non-Indigenous people, are are adopting them, adopting them as if they're going to a pet shop and adopting a dog. You know, th like l like like I like I like I said in the previous podcast I had a few days ago with with a guest and she said her and her partner were going to adopt and that she was heartbroken that it was indigenous children in this Dane age that those were the the the the the ones that were most put out there in society to adopt. And yet understand this. We as indigenous people, I could adopt Marina Crane (52:06.338) But no, I can't because I'm not under the sovereignty of my First Nations. I I can't like if I had a chance to do a proposal to have a halfway house or or or a child's shelter built in my community with funds, even my own community funds, and train people like they trained in Nietzsche Institute for early childhood development. Like I said, they developed a curriculum in Nietzsche for children who were aging out from the foster care system. this whole human trafficking has been going on forever. Like the one lady she married a a white guy right out of Indian residential school they gave her a bus ticket to Edmonton and those pimps, those white guys would be waiting at the bus depot to take those girls. Just the same way that right now, with a whole bunch of people, you know, targeting Gir children fourteen years old to be trafficked. It hasn't changed. The only change that we can have is to have and protect our own children within our own communities, with our own people, teaching our history, our language, our culture. But we don't have sovereignty. We we we don't have we we're unable to do that because of the law. So when I say a nation within a late a nation, you or people who aren't living in First Nations anywhet or Metis communities, you're under the federal and provincial laws. That's your law. That's your reality. Think of it that as indigenous people, we're under a third law. And you can call it a third world, but we're living under a third law that was created to control us. And they're still controlling us. They're still saying as indigenous women we're unfit. You know, they're they're teaching our children to be ashamed of of their mums and their grandmothers. And and that's why, you know, when I talk about my my own siblings or or the former chief's sister, or I could name another family in my community. I like it it it exists. It exists because it's it's part of that colonial construct and it's not gonna take a lifetime to deconstruct Marina Crane (54:23.36) It's part of the very fabric that we're living in and breathing in. So what you what do you do? You you have to to honor yourself, do some self-reflection, practice and do what you can to help others. The the the whole the whole society is against is against like like I said, that shame and guilt. It's everywhere, like in the Mormon church, the amount of indigenous kids that they took into foster care who who were ashamed and and ashamed of their parents, ashamed that they were poor, like the denial of it. The denial of it and the fact that you like I said, in every culture, in every minority culture there's there there are there are sayings for people within our communities that think their shit don't stink or keep their nose I know the Polynesians have a ni a name for it when people have their noses up in the air. So so those things, you know, they're they're challenging and they should be challenging for indigenous people who who live in First Nations, Metis and inhumate communities. And and like I said to the to my guest, only a few years ago the Canadian government recognized the nine Sioux tribes in Canada as being indigenous, as well as Metis and Inuit. Like understand that. This is the Canadian government in 2020, from 2024, 25, 26, and the fact that we're still waiting in Parliament by white people to pass a law for indigenous women and children. Bill S two and Bill I think S six two or six three. And and the and the very fact that that this is a legacy of of enslavement, of of of white supremacy. Marina Crane (56:17.204) of of how people are so ignorant in in not looking at us as human beings. The the and and the reality that it it's white people creating these laws. It's much the same when when you're looking at lawmakers trying to make laws about female sexuality, about abortion, about you know who like what it is to be to like if you're going to have an abortion or birth control or like like if you if if you have a miscarriage and you're going to be charged with murder or like all this stuff when it comes to to reproductive rights when you when you have when you have groups of govern people in government making these laws which are all men and are not women that is the same parallel that I'm talking about when it comes to indigenous indigenous human rights. If Indigenous people do not have a narrative or say anything. People will get away with it that they've done for a long time because they suppressed, they indoctrinated, they you know are trying to tell us that, you know, you should be ashamed when really, no, I'm not ashamed. I am really grateful of the life I've lived because for each trauma For each r relapse and recovery I've learned something. And and so that's why I'm saying you've got to honor that. Even if you're non-Indigenous and you understand what I'm talking about, and if you're a woman and you know this, you have these men dictating to you what you can do with your body, what you can do with your children, and even suppressing medical advancements around female sexuality and female physiology. If we do not talk about these things, and I'm saying this is a parallel, it's not to say that. Marina Crane (58:14.36) that white women or all women understand indigenous ways of knowing. I'm just saying it's a reflection of society. And that's it. I'm not saying that we're going to be sisters or anything like that, because it's very critical. I come from a community. I've been born and raised in here. And like I said, if if if if Nathan Chasingcourse had never been arrested I don't know what my life would have been like struggling with my siblings and people in my community having this stereotype of me. a very like whatever stereotype they've created for me, which would have been based on lateral violence and misogyny. And I and I fight misogyny all the time. And and when I do become assertive when when I'm confronted with it, I I stand my ground. And and It it's like when I try to tell people, when you do this, make sure you have support. Make sure you have somebody backing you up when when you experience misogyny and when you call it out. Because it's so dangerous too when you have so many young people who are ashamed to be indigenous or just have so much anger, or maybe they they you know have chemical imbalance or a mental health illness. Things like that we have to be on guard of and understand it. That's why we need to have critical thinking skills. Well before I go again, you know I I I'd like to you know again, you know, it's have say to people, you know, be be be kind to each other. Like Dolly Parton would say. Marina Crane (59:58.232) you know, her just the whole notion of be trying to be a good human being. And in the Dakota culture, the the the the s the saying is all my relations. You know, Wopidao Midakya Pioasana, all my relations. and and the philosophy is ushika. We we we we build up because we have to understand we come from the same baseline. And if one of us is hurting we have to lift ourselves up with them. shika Mitawa, like like I'm I'm pitiful. You you you you you're part of this human race and the the the very fact when we say we're all related i is is the fact that we're trying to be good relatives. And and being a good relative means when when when you're with another human being and you have two plates of food and one has d delicious ribeye steak with gravy and juicy juicy fat rolling off that steak and just luscious gravy and vegetables on the side. And on the other one you have boiled potatoes, boiled neck bones, like it which one would you choose? Now for me, because I've I've had I've indulged my life, I in being a good relative, I would take the best dish and offer it to you, my relative. Nikki said, Hi Marina, sent a smiley emoji, and said, How are you? How are the nonas? So that's what I'm saying. Even though y you you sat yourself know you're giving that gift the best of the best, that's what it means to be a good relative. Even if it's even if you have nothing, and and say you have a a juicy bone and and you have dried dog food, which would you give to the dog? the juicy bone. So everything and anything you you in you're being a good relative to all. And you you give what is best to and and you take the one that is the least for yourself. And and that's what it means to be a good relative in in the Sioux way. And a lot a lot of the teaching has to is dealing a using the morality of non indigenous people. The word wasichu Marina Crane (01:02:24.78) Washi is the fat. When when when we hunted buffalo we dried the meat, the the dried buffalo meat, and we also dried the fat which w which was the washi. And shana is is a is I think a noun or a j adjective, it's a spiritual context, a process, a a being, a state of mind. So so when you say washichina, like so washi and the shana is the action to it. So so we're so we're using the metaphor that the white man took the sweetest part from our very mouths. Wasichuna. They they they kill the the buff. So so even the morality and the philosophy of what it means for somebody to be a white man, Wasichna, means means that they don't understand the concept of of being a good relative because when they have something they will take that washi rather than giving it to you to enjoy to eat. So the moral of even using the metaphor of how Dakota people see white people is part of the very philosophy and understanding of what it means to be a good relative. So when we say all our relatives, that's what we mean. And when we have a lot of pretendian white people saying that, it's like, do they know it's a slap in the face? Because that's who you're disrespecting because of the definition of of of what it is your ancestors took from us. You you took a you took away a philosophy, but we but we we mirrored it in just the very name of what we call you. So with that, again, all my relatives, wo pida midakhya piawasana. That's what it means. All my relations. All my relations. And my prayers go out to all those who are grieving, all those who are in the hospital, all those who are suffering with addictions. Marina Crane (01:04:34.56) all those who may have some sort of regret or un misunderstanding or all those who just want to reach out to somebody and say hello. For those and all of you, have a good day and again I'm really grateful for this podcast and I'm really grateful for the opportunity to share part of my life and and what it means to to be proud of being indigenous. It it's not a It's not that easy when when you have so many people who are hurting and are not i imbalanced.