The importance of dismantling colonial ways of thinking

Do you have the courage to step into another person's culture to see them for who they really are without those 'rose colored glasses of a colonial construct?' Good morning. July twenty first. If you stand by me so don't Stand by me. Now why did I re play that? Well because part of part that you know we're always thinking and trying to express ourselves. And the thing about it is you must be seen first. You must be seen first and to be acknowledged and validated. And sometimes we, you know, seek this our entire lives without ever being seen. So, most of my recordings for the past couple of days has been regarding this lawsuit with Tsuutina and Chief and Counsel against the former lawyer Terry Braun. I try to record f on my podcast as soon as I get off the phone with acquaintance or somebody, or even for that matter, if the conversation is going well, I'll record it. Now I wanted to give you some insight into how angry I am about this supposedly recovery center. Now you might think, well, you know, what foundation does she have? And for me, it's just the reality or the lack of reality of what like not being seen for 20 years championing things that you know are vital and essential to my family. And one of the ladies who's a relative of one of the victims of Nathan Chasing Horse, this victim, like I've mentioned her earlier, she appeared on the fifth estate and she was 14 when. Nathan introduced himself to her and that he had taken her three times and he even recorded her. So so why do I bring up this young woman? Well, because she wasn't a follower of Nathan chasing horses. She didn't belong to his cult. money's to even keep her quiet or support her because again, she was a victim. but all the other victims were supported through our nation's funds, through leadership. Now I made that comment the last time, I think, this last vide podcast yesterday, and I said, in hindsight, you know, when you take that oath to protect the most vulnerable, they didn't they didn't protect her. And again, too, she was supposed to be in a place, a school that was supposed to protect her. and for me, advocating for youth like she's a mum now. And he she said like he stole the this from me. Now, even though my niece didn't listen to me and people didn't listen to me. There there's a there's a reasoning behind all this and the fact that Nikki did, and she listened to my advice, documenting everything and making sure she had everything documented to take the police. And her mother still thanks me for being there for her daughter. Again, she never belonged to the cult. She was never a supporter of Nathan Chasing horse. Right from the get-go, she knew what he had done to her. That's just the history. Now, why am I bringing all this up like well the reality of it is like I said in nineteen sixty-four in the sixties, even before my nieces and nephews were born, even before I was an adult, alcohol was introduced into our community. And then of course my age we introduced drugs. So, like that's seventy-four I mean I'm seventy-four, so what, fifty years ago? Because we live right by a city, like and people don't understand. When I was a child, we to go all the way down to City Hall. There was a Safeway store there. And that's where many of the people in the city of the town of Calgary used to go shopping. Understand this, I think in one year they were saying 10,000 people came in a day to make Calgary their homes. It was in that decade we lost a lot of our Tsuutina men. And again, too, there was a lot of alcohol and drug abuse. And again, too, you know, I during my times when I was would have been. Been able to have kids and like what do you call young and fertile? I nobody knew drinking would cause FASE. Nobody. It was it. I mean, you know, in Europe, what a hundred years ago, 150 years ago, you look at or even in Italy or places where there's all these Renaissance paintings, and you see like bar scenes where you see people with you know FAS distorted facial fit features. So in in the old world, you know, alcohol and FASE were priced. quite prevalent. But for me, how most of my blog and what I talk about in terms of the naivete or the lack of critical thinking skills ha has to do with that brain damage that these children had when they were being carried in their mother's uterus or their womb. So, and again too you must look at it in terms of like when I was when I was the first in existence on planet Earth, I was in my grandmother's stomach because my grandmother would have had my mother in her stomach. Okay, so you know like you it's just the fact that the DNA or the structure of what we eat and everything g goes back in terms of matriarchy right to the grandmother. So that's why like for me at seventy-four as an elder and I look back and I'm going, no, I I've never had children, I I've never had grandchildren. But it but it's my relatives whose children and even my own family were the children the like the women who married in or like again, you know, you gotten understand we didn't understand this. So, most of my Like the conversation I had this morning with a friend of mine is one of our childhood friends passed away and he had so many children. She said, Marina, a lot of majorities of them are F A S E. And I said, yes, that's what's so disturbing about this recovery center. I said that all the money that could have been siphoned into our healthy living program, money that we could have tried to at least get some sort of sort of sovereignty over the crisis that we're seeing. I've had people deny that, you know, that we have a problem with FASE and that's okay. You know, I I'm an elder, I've Like I said, you must experience it, see it, live it, breathe it. It you know, like in embrace it. But part of my podcast is to let go of what I embraced. And that's why I advocate for sovereignty over our children. You know, like my friends said, there are so many thousands of our children in foster care system. and just the r reality of the extent of what we have to live through when like when we talk about restorative and transformative justice and just welcoming our children back into our community, which is no fault of our own. Like we've been under systemic racism f like since I was born, before I was even born. that legacy is still around, and part of my podcast is to dismantle these colonial ways of thinking and the constructs. Now, why am I talking about FASE is that a lot of times when we talk about psychosis or personality disorders, all this psychological jargon it really boils down to the reasoning why even it looks like when Nathan Chasing Morse was arrested, he's still had I'll call them sleeper cells for the lack of a better word, but the you know, there were people who had mental illness problems and mental disorders, we'll say F-A-S-E. that that you know for some reason they just got the well for the back of the lack of a better word I say the bejezus scared the hell out of them. That to this day they still follow Nathan Chasing Horse even after he's been arrested, sentenced for life. Not you know, like I made the example of this this young man like he stayed in my home because he was following Nathan Chasinghorse when Nathan was here supporting my brother with the Sundance. And how even after divorce he's you know her he's got a sixteen-year-old son and yet, you know, all his money is going into paying a mortgage on a house that Nathan Chasinghorse's parents are living. Now even that too when it comes to monies and that's why like this lawsuit and just like how the former chief is associated with this this this whole like the money that came in like when I was talking to my friend my childhood friend I said you know there's a hundred thousand dollars that came in over a period of like from like the timeline even before Roy Whitney went out went out was voted out. Like just the desperate need to want to get back into power even after he was arrested, like it it's sort of biologiabolical, but when you realize like what he was trying to protect. And so, my childhood friend says, Marina last year they had a treaty conference. Where did they get the money from? And I said, Well look at this. This guy, I think Mareshi paid fifty thousand to I don't know, there there's this this whole there's this whole spider web of monies that came in that was published again I'm trying to say this has been published documented. The like of the monies that came in through Terry Braun And you know, just like the thirty the three point like three almost four million dollars in in projects f project funds, you know, just stuff that was paid out to Malika homes and what even allegedly directed payment of totaling seventeen million to the total like not even the total value to Malika homes when Malika only paid ten percent. And that even too contrary to the nation's procurement policies, like even in the like from dis September twenty-three, Mureshi holdings and like he like the denial of the corruption and even like the Like the forty million, like how agreement between Tsuutina and Malika Holmes noted that the contractor had paid the nation forty thousand to community support initiatives according to the statement claim. But these funds were instead allegedly paid in three installments totaling forty-nine thousand. Now again too there was this also in twenty-three I like there was also money, I think fifty thousand that that allegedly came in. And let's see here, because again, the province is putting three hundred and fifty million into eleven recovery centers. Now, again, we're talking about just three indigenous communities that are supposedly earmarked for this. And even the Ministry of Mental Health and Addictions has been declining comments on this recovery center project. And the reality of it is like, you know, when my childhood friend says, you know, Regina Crochell and Jeannie Crochell did treaty conference when there was no money. Where did they get that money? And I said, well look at this. I said look at the money that came in just regarding this recovery center. That money had to have gone into that conference. So, when Lance Manywounds is you know challenging Jeannie Crowchild who's an elected band member now her mother, Regina Crowchild, was voted out last term. And he's you know, he says, you know, you went to the F N conference, where's this money? you know, challenging my aunt like you're fidu you were for you were a fiduciary for decades, talking about treaty and he talked about the war chest. He says, you know, you know for you to talk about treaties, you must have a war chest. He says, you're up against the oldest monarchy in the world. You're up against establishments that have thousands of monies, billions of dollars to fight against our treaties. W what do you have? And then you've got one of the band members who's a crow child but not directly related to my Aunt Regina, who says, yes, there are homeless people. You know, this money that comes in, you know, us as band members, we don't see this. And rightfully so because her brother passed away this year. He was homeless. A nation member who I've grown up with. Like I s I keep on saying, I've grown up here my entire life. And I said to my childhood friend, I said, the home I have been my mother's old house. I said I said my whole life I've been sidelined; I've been discredited. And I s and so my childhood friend says, well, this relative that just passed away yesterday, she says, I went and I saw all these young men, they you know, they they're F A S E. And I made a comment, I said, well, I said, you know, my nieces were F A S E. the one who the chief in counsel has been supporting, who was a faithful follower of Nathan Chasing Horse for twenty years. I've made comments about her how vindictive and dangerous she has been to me over the past twenty years. And I also had made comment about my other niece, Roberta, how dangerous she was to herself and others. And so, I said to my childhood friend, I said, you know, when I talk in Calgary in public art and I talk about the incre when alcohol came in and how community was separated and everybody became silent. I said people were drinking. Like I like I saw my sister-in-law you know totally inebriated while she was like pregnant, like ready to hatch. again, you know, throughout my life watching her and knowing like that something was the matter. Yet but again, you know, when they spend money has come in through like the f the provincial government to do surveys on FASE and even hiring people within the health center to help with our youth. So, and now I'm saying like our youth are in their fifties, so you've got again, like I'm doing the timeline on when alcohol was introduced into my community. Now, I said again in Europe it's been I entrenched in their societies. So, it it's not as obvious as it is in First Nations and you went in Metis communities. So, what does this all have to do with fucking Nathan Chasing horse? Everything. He preyed on the vulnerable. I mean part of his addiction or His perversion was to the propensity for children, scaring the bejesus out of them. So, you know, when you're when you don't have the capacity to have critical thinking skills and you're just focused on that fear, it can hold you prisoner. Now, throughout the decades I'd had my s my niece's brother say to me, Auntie, step in, do something. And I'd say to him, like, you know, I said, I I've I have challenged her. I have talked to her children; I've warned them about how dangerous this man is. And I told my nephew, I said, every time I talk to her, try to get some sense into her, she stops talking to me. I said even before she went down to the States what five years ago to support him, she almost died twice that year. And then she stopped talking to me. I'd text her for three months, she'd stopped talking to me. Stopped texting me everything. And then she got into an accident and then she had to come home and her when her mother my si former sister-in-law passed away, the sister said to me at the funeral, she says, I had to approach chief and counsel to help pay for our niece's medical bill, seventy-two thousand dollars. So, understand this. You know, I have grown up my whole life here. Like I said, any home, anything, you know, I I'm a single female with no children, you know, no grandchildren. So, so the stressors of identifying and working with children that I brought into this world who have F A E S E, I don't have that. But I have I have friends; I have relatives that that struggle with this every day. And so even though people who know my niece will look and say, she there's nothing the matter with her. And I'm going, no, there is. You know, because they're in denial that that I have this certain skill, this certain skill set. Nobody saw me. So, when I played this song, you know, Stand by Me, I said, you know, the whole important thing is like you know we're not alone. When w when somebody sees us for who we are, we're not alone. And for decades, like I wrote my blog, nobody saw me. At least I thought nobody saw me. And so, I explained to my childhood friend who again, you know, she didn't understand my whole reasoning to go down to Las Vegas. And I said to her, you know, Lance many wounds and the struggles that he's having just to go through this law lawsuit and just the battle he's got, I said, you know, he has the propensity to be a fiduciary and a damn good one. But it's the discredit to all the people who were sort of systematically put into p positions of power and how money was siphoned in as long as you obeyed Roy Whitney. And again, too like because you know you're what you're not gonna bite the hand that feeds you. So, so that's why when I talk about this young woman who had the courage to, you know try and get Nathan Chaser arrested, she was up against the whole establishment, the leadership. She was up against all the followers of Nathan Chasing horse and their mothers. For twenty years this young woman faced this. Now I you know again too all I could do was put something on my blog. And the fact is like I as I talked to my childhood friend, I said, you know, people are in denial of FASE. I said, you know, I one of the artists he says, I don't see it like he's from Soutine and I said you know and that's okay I said but proof is in the pudding because you know the reality of it is like you know how how do people understand? I said when I say my I have two nieces that were endangered to themselves and others And I brought in Paul so that he could supervise my niece her bit the visit with her brother and sister. I said that was the key reason I had connection with him, because nobody would listen. My niece and nephew weren't under a child and family; they wanted her the protection of the province. So as a f fiduciary, like I'm the one, I wasn't getting paid for looking after them either. And but I did, you know, I had to take all this lateral violence. from this one niece. And she you know, she had the right to be angry. Th this man ruined her life, this Nathan Chasing horse, as well as my brother. And I said like he served his time. I mean, even my saying that I'm gonna have people say, well you supported him. You know, I've had women do that on Facebook saying that that I'm a pedophile because I supported my brother. And the reality of it is like, no, I'm documenting. I'm saying this is you know, my niece was a danger to herself and others. And it even made it more extreme when she was sexually assaulted. And then my other niece had two children. and she's like I think maybe two years older than Nathan. And the fact that, you know, she's been such a loyal follower of his, paying money to him, servicing him. I mean, I told my childhood friend part of the reason for me to go to Las Vegas was to meet these followers of Nathan Chasinghorse who I'd had correspondence with because I wanted to at least have some sort of understanding of why my niece behaved the way she did and what kind Of narrative was she telling people, and the reality of it is that you know, for decades Nathan would say to his followers, because there you've got to understand he had like a three 350 followers. So, when I talked to one the one, the group of followers that actually he hurt, they said, well, Marina, she, you know, your niece would come in to camp and she'd say he wants this and he wants that, and then my niece goes. Up and fasts at bare butte, almost dies because of her diabetes. And this lady that I met in Las Vegas, said Marina, I even went to Sturgis Hospital to visit her. She says that Nathan didn’t even have the compassion to go visit her, one of his loyal followers. So even like for me to constantly try to have connection with my niece, even when she went down to the States and you know just wouldn't talk to me. Then she ends up getting in an accident and he doesn't give a damn. Your d like really for all the money that her and her adult children paid out to this man. I mean we can talk about the fellow in Ontario who, you know, went fundraised and just so his son could be cured of cancer. Like all this this stuff that that people would give up, you know, just to I like I don't know the rationale behind my fifty-two-year-old niece, but like the reality of it is like she she's she know, people say, well, she's not following him anymore because he's arrested serving life. And you know, and I say, No, the reality of it. I said, even the fact that she had disclosed to the tribal police that she'd been sexually assaulted by his followers and the tribal police are telling me that well, she's not following him anymore. And I said, well, I have documentations to the contrary. I said that the lady who did the podcast who interviewed me and Paul, I said, she she's got all the text and messages that my niece had had sent her. I said, because this lady's had had death threats and all this social stuff because of the nature of her podcasts. I said so every time she'd publish on LinkedIn that who her guests were, my niece twice had discredited me to her. And at the end, the lady says to my niece, you can I'll interview you on the podcast and you can tell your story too. But my niece declined. So, I brought that to the tribal police too and I said, you know, this is after the fact. I said, after you you're claiming that she's no longer following Nathan Chasing horse, then why is she still doing this? Why is she still discrediting me? Why is there still lateral violence towards me? And again, you know, I I'm trying to understand and let my audience know. You know, people with FASE, they you know, that's not their fault. It's not their fault their mother was drinking. And the brain damage that they received and how they s thri they how they trunk try to thrive by being seen. That's why this song Stand by Me really means a lot because you know you could you could s you know, ask somebody to stand before beside you but unless you're seen I like it's like that desperation. Once you're seen you're not desperate because you know somebody is listening to you. So, you know I explained to my childhood friend who didn't quite understand why I wanted to go to Las Vegas. I said I said, you know, there were people from California, Montana, men and women, Arizona, came up to me in in outside the courtroom. hugged me, shook my hand. I said I said to my childhood friend, I didn't realize the extent of what my blog, how it influenced them to, you know, bear witness that this man was dangerous. They came up and hugged me and thanked me and you know the very fact that I was there meant something to them. And I'm grateful that they saw me. And I'm grateful for the Fifth Estate and the investigative reporters who saw me. And for the lady who did the podcast who saw me. And for the many other indigenous females who have been here supporting me, listening to me, hearing how angry I get in in terms of like what is what was Roy Whitney doing trying to get this recovery center? How is this going to help our children, our girls and our boys who have FASE? There are no treatment centers, there's no group homes, there's no mental health structure for them. And he When we have healthy living and the health center and grassroots people who are trying, I mean, our youth go downtown and try and bring, you know, our people who are suffering with addictions with no fault of their own because they have FASE, you know, trying to help them so that they don't die on the streets or don't overdose. So that's why for me the money that would have been designated to come into our grassroots. Roots people have been siphoned by Malika Holmes and the Sam Moreshi, who is instrumental in closing Nietzsche, a program that helps indigenous youth, women, men for 50 years. Why? Again, because our elders knew the Indian residential schools were gonna shut down and they wanted to help heal intergenerational trauma. They those are the grassroots people that created Nietzsche Institute. And what the hell does Danielle Smith do? She gives and parties with Roy Whitney. And then what does he do? The stud, the stud, I wouldn't call him a horse, s sage, because he's this, he's this sage, this deer, male deer, sends the does out into the field to say the coast is clear. And my aunt was one of them. You know, and he had a lot of people he sent out there to see if the coast is clear, at their expense at their reputation. And they took it. They took it. Like, you know, she goes up there, reads a letter saying Roy Whitney is no not associated with Daniel Smith. And yet the proof is in from 2023 until he was out of voted out of office, all that money that came in. Just so that Malika Holmes could have their s sticky hands in Sutana, Enoch, and Metis Nation. You know, it's it like the dismantling of all the hard work of indigenous men and women who are dead now. For 50 years building up the Native Women's Shelter, for example, Nietzsche Institute. We have, you know, these are people, grassroots people, who have their hard earned, you know, frontline workers. You know, people like, you know, I talk about, you know, non-Indigenous people. Do you have the guts and the courage to go into homes? You know, and to see all that, to see how dangerous people are, and to try and help them. You know, like that's just what makes me so angry when you have people who, you know, are like this Puritan ideology of white supremacy and you know, like they have privilege and my goodness, look how unjust we are as white people. I'm going, come on, get off that fucking cross and give the wood. We need it for a fucking sweat. Shit. I mean, really, I get so angry because like for twenty years, even before that Like even 50 years ago, like I said, when alcohol was introduced into indigenous communities in Alberta, I saw that shift. I saw that shift. Our communities used to all come together, people were talking, and then suddenly in the 60s, 64, you know, my grandmother and the ladies' auxiliary, they fundraised. rented a tent and started our first powwow. Now this weekend we're having a huge powwow. We have rodeo, powwow, golf tournament, fast pitch, hand game. Fi like that's how s how big it's grown. But it started off with people selling second hand clothes, bake sales. Because my mot my grandmother was from Dakota Nation. I was what, twelve or fifteen when they had the first powwow here. And so, understand this. Dakota Nation would have already had been having their wachepi, they call that w Pawau Wachipi in Dakota Sioux, already twenty-one years by the time Sutana started theirs. And so, you know, this whole what, in the seventies, all a sudden it was okay for indigenous people to practice spirituality because it was outlawed. Yet again, because of Western Canada and just the invisible wall between Eastern Canada and the hundred years before they had to deal with systemic racism before us. The things and the very spirit of helping was institutionalized and documented in the very policies of the Native Women Shelter and Nietzsche Institute. Now, mind you, you know, everybody, you know, we're not all perfect, and employees, all those employees too, they're not all perfect. But I wanted to s to stress that. You know, when we were so enmeshed in the fact that we didn't know. drinking would cause FASE. And the fact that we didn't understand just what brain damage does. And so, no matter how much I tried to reach my nieces, it was impossible. Because it's one thing it's one thing to not have been traumatized or sexually assaulted. And for whatever reason, because I don't know I don't know the upbringing of my niece, the one that followed Nathan, because you know, I just wasn't around. I don't know who anything about, you know, the trauma she carried. All I know is that, you know, my trying to advocate and you know, warn people about him. she he used her. He used her like he used like that woman with her seven-year-old child for twenty years. They he used women like that. And again, that's what's that's what basically got him in the first place is like just the abuse he just languishly, you know, just like nonchalantly did it. It's like, you know, serve me. You know, kiss my big toe and they'll do it. I use that analogy, it's very vulgar I know, but the reality of it is just the propensity for women to hate women so much. And the brunt of it, like I like I sort of sensed it, but then to meet the supporters who validated, yes, Marina, he did introduce he did tell us about you. And like I said, the one lady came up, and she came up to her powwow, and she told me and I told my childhood friend, I said, yeah. At our Powell she said I was looking for because I'd heard she was so in love with Nathan Chasing Horse and all the emails and all this thing that she was so madly, you know, jilted by this man. She's and I told my childhood friend from Sutana, I said I said, Yeah, and when she saw me, she said, I just saw a grandma and I told my friend, I said, you know, this is the whole Point. All these followers for years, you know, Nathan and my niece and you know certain people, probably this this this woman who stayed in my home, all discredited me. never and people listened, never even knowing me, never wanting to see me. But the fact that I went down to Las Vegas so they could see me, meet me, you know, listen to me, understand where I was coming from. And and for me to understand the relationship with my niece and they heard about my other niece and I and I you know and I told them the truth. You know, I told them the truth about my brother going to jail and just the whole way the community was supporting Nathan. And even too, like, you know, do people even realize like I even networked with some of his baby mamas who were trying to get child support. See and that was part of the I initial way of thinking trying to help my niece because you know, my brother ch paid child support ever since he divorced their mother. The mum who at her funeral, her sister said, you know, the chief and counsel paid the seventy-two thousand dollars for our niece his medical bills. when she got injured in the States. You know, it it's just the r the reality of people not understanding like I said to my childhood friend, I said, you know, people just think, it's all about Nathan Chasing horse. I said, No, it's the paper trail. It it's the leadership supporting this man, even though members within the community like me are warning people I said I said in people, you know, using lateral violence against me, trying to discredit me. And the fact too, like it was very healing for me to have those supporters come up and hug me and show me respect. And I was just like totally overwhelmed and I thought they read my blog. And then to have like the one lady says, Marina, we were drinking the Kool-Aid. Like that was her ay of apologizing to me. We were drinking the Kool Aid. And so like I like I said, I have two nieces that were drinking the Kool-Aid. But part of the drinking of the Kool-Aid had to do with the fact that they had been brain damaged, you know, in their mothers when they were being when they were being created. for no fault of their own. But it's the repercussions of from of me dealing with them because they were FAS E. and how dangerous they were to themselves and others. So yes, the crisis, you know, when people deny that there's no FASE I'm going, no, I'm doing this podcast. You know, I work and I do work in the city with youth. We d we try to train young people to be youth elders and the whole structure of addiction and why it's important for youth elders to be in our schools, in our communities to help other youth. And that's to stop human trafficking, drug abuse. Now when you have children who are carriers of FASE and they have some are like just the severity of critical thinking skills or the lack of it. You know, my last weekend in decodination my cousin's granddaughter overdosed. She she's F A S E. And you know, a lot of people are in denial, even family. You know, but the observation from my sister watching the granddaughter a couple of years ago here at Soutina and how manipulative she was, just to get attention, just to be seen at any expense, accusing people of doing things just so she could look like she's okay, and the grandmother just believing her. So, a lot of a lot of this FASE and the need for attention, the need to be seen, can be used and manipulated by people who want to control them. And so, here's my cousin, you know, she must take her daughter to the ER to s they did tests to see w what she took, who you know, like who gave her this this drug. And so again, like I said, sh her mother the mother who can't look after her, she's involved with this drug paraphernalia too. So, the crisis is out there and again, this is generational, intergenerational. We call it intergenerational trauma. Well, like I said, my age group, you know, we didn't have that. we're we were very ignorant about alcohol and drug abuse. Now we have we have children who are in their thirties, adults who have brain damage and who are trying to function, and we don't have places for them to stay. Like I said, we must have group homes, and we must have these shelters in place. Our population is growing. We have two thousand five hundred. And the capacity or the propensity for people who to understand what it’s what kind of behavior they're going to be dealing with, how they're gonna be trained, all this mental health structure. Well of course the Minister of Mental Health in in Alberta's not gonna answer any questions when news media approaches them about this this home this recovery center in Tsuu Tina. And for me it really angers me and I'm going, What the hell? Where's this bullshit coming from? You know, y they can cover up all this there they can cover up all this association they've had with Nathan Chasing horse. So yeah, our girls, our poor girls, they're suicidal, you know, we're spending money on them. Like that's bullshit. They were paying the rent, and they were supporting Nathan Chasing Horse's cult. And now to cover up their bullshit, they exp they accept this this money for this recovery center? What, as a scapegoat? You know, our youth our youth are intelligent enough, have gone through all this, who are standing by each other trying to help their peers. And what does the provincial government do pull the money right out from under them? And our leadership is supposed to protect our children, our girls and boys? That's why it makes me so angry. And that's why I try and stick up for this young fifteen she was fif fourteen, fifteen years old. And I said that she didn't follow Nathan Chasinghorse. Where was the chief in counsel supporting her? How are they compensating her for the damage he did to her twenty years ago? All those followers of Nathan Chasing horse who drank the Kool-Aid, they've been getting money past twenty years? Their parents and everybody's, you know, got jobs and key positions. Why? So, they could be quieted, so they c you know, they can't bite the hand that feeds them. The leadership who are taking part in this exploitation of our children. Like, really? You know, our chief is charged with st you know, assault, sexual assault against two men. Here we have another band counselor whose ch the charges have been dropped. But no doubt I think the law states they still must go to court, but the witness has been s has settled out of court. So, the guy is moving to Arizona. And again, he's got a trucking company. How'd he gets that how'd he gets all those contracts? Because he was listening to the chief. Everything and anything to do with construction or anything like that is all in cahoots with the leadership. So, imagine when you have a whole new leadership coming into play and all the old counselors who still want to hold on to that that tit that tit from our chief, you know, sucking our upper band funds. Like I'm damn sure that like that hundred thousand that came in from Sam Mareshi or Malika Holmes, through Terry Braun, whatever the hell's gonna come out of the fucking woodwork. Shit. You know, I you know that that lady who lost her brother, you know, he was homeless. You know, and for me, when I when I look at my own home and I'm sixty-four, I haven't ever received a home. And yet you've got women who marry in, get a home. You get anybody who obeys, you know, the powers that be that get away with stuff. You know, you have a trucking company, and you get contracts because you obey the chief and counsel. like, come on. You know, Lance Minimo's made his millions off reserve in another country. And he's here to help. And he warned he warned my cousin Jeannie to stop it. Stop putting it out on Facebook. You know, there there's enough evidence for defamation of character when they got up and spoke at our band meeting. All that is taped. Like there's so much documentation of them slandering him. And yet and yet because they're so used to doing that to just the general population within the community that they think they can still get away with it. So, for me, when you have this recovery center, and again, who am I? Who the hell am I? I'm not a fucking therapist, social worker, lawyer, doctor, Indian chief. No. I'm just a female. I shouldn't say just. I laugh at myself because like really, I'm just grateful to be seen. I'm grateful that people listen to my podcast. like I'm just grateful that I can do what I can and enjoy every minute of my life and to champion like the most vulnerable are children who it's not their fault that their parents drink. It's not their fault they were born into a systemic racist system and that they don't have the critical thinking skills to dismantle it. Well, for me I do. And no matter how much people want to hurt me, it's okay. I try to be there for my friends whose grandchildren overdose or whose granddaughters are running away from violence. You know, I I'm there. I'm their ear, I'm their support. And isn't that what leadership is supposed to do? Like to be there in the most difficult places and to be there when life is so ugly and people just are in full grief. You know, our central nervous system is set up in such a way I was talking like again this morning, and I tried to do my podcast so that it's fresh in my memory so I can share this with you. She says she says, Marina, you know, when she says everybody when I hugged them, their bodies were just hot. I said, yes. I said, cause our central nervous system is set up in such a way. I said in brain development or even healthy balance, I said, you know, if the if we give up gambling, addiction, like a gambling, or if we give up pornography, like getting addicted to pornography, or if we give up going to fast foods, like addiction of eating h unhealthy foods. I said, so if you got these three things, I said, if you got gambling, porn, and healthy foods, and you give that up for three months, your central nervous system changes. I said, so sometimes we d we don't even know at a at a conscious level what we're creating, what we're enabling our own mental health when a crisis happens. You know, and so we're talking about death and dying and how every day we in our First Nations in Uti and Metis communities we face this. Now I said I said so I said so when and I and I said this is gonna be triggering to you I said but I'm gonna talk about human trafficking. I said when they abduct these children from foster homes or wherever they steal them from and we've got a an autistic child who's been missing in Calgary for five days. I said, you know, in human trafficking, as soon as they have an alert, they go right to the airports to try because they're so skilled these traffickers to get these children flown out of the country. I said, and yet and then and yet what, seventy percent of human traffickers are female. So, thirty percent of those men, like they when they get these children, they'll have sex with them all day, all night for four days. Their central nervous system starts, you know, like their bodies are reacting to this and their bodies start heating up. So, when somebody suddenly gets somebody dies and all a sudden the central nervous system kicks in. The body temperature starts rising and like I said, when I've had to deal with grief and I just get this exploding headache, that's because my body temperature is rising. So, I was explaining to my childhood friend, I said, Yeah, after say four days of sexual activity trying to groom these girls' bodies or boys' bodies to house many Sexual partners in a day, they put them in a room for their bodies to cool down. And sometimes when the body doesn't cool down, they die. I said, so when you say murdered and missing indigenous children and women and you know, two-spirited, it's because of this trafficking process of sort of I don't know, orienting their central nervous system, and if they recover. If their body recovers to normal, then they're ready to have as many sex partners as possible every day. So, and I use that analogy in a in a daily basis and how we take care of ourselves and what we choose to indulge ourselves with. It's we think it's not affecting us, but it does. It creates a network in our in our psyche, in our brain, on our how we cope with stress. So again too, that's just part of being a human being and that how we must understand what it takes to have balance and to be in a healthy relationship. Because all of that is attached to how we think. Now that's why for me when it comes to early childhood development, teenagers, young adults, and how the central nervous system is being designed for their entire lives. You know, I said I didn't want my niece on any kind of medication cause her brain was still developing. I said that the number of children like my niece is what? Twenty twenty-five, twenty s twenty-seven. for seven years, like I drove her I took her drove her to school because her peers who were on the school bus were so horrible. Like just you know, like just the sun like the way they were talking, they're talking about drug powerfinity. swearing, like just in terms of how people were coping, I didn't want my niece around that. I didn't want that influence. I didn't you know, I wanted to protect her, and I put her through therapy I took her to therapy for seven years. So, she could understand coping mechanisms. But again too, like, you know, we have no child youth center. And for them to ha say they were having a recovery center You know, our youth aren't gonna be there. Our indigenous people aren't gonna be staffed there. This is open for all people that aren't even indigenous. At the expense of what? The very children in our community that that are the most vulnerable and their mums because some of their mums are FASE too. So, all that money, all that programming money that was taken away so Daniel Smith could have her cohorts like Sam Moreshi and Malika Holmes, and even this Roth, this fellow who's a lawyer who was a trustee for Sturgeon Lake Cre Nation and Tal Cree. Like they froze fifteen million dollars to try and get that money back that he siphoned out of Indigenous trust funds. Like excuse me. Yes, we got we did all this stuff for our youth, but then we then people who followed Roy Whitney, people who even challenged him, like believe me, as much as I wanted to have compassion for this man, the fact that his son committed suicide, that his first wife died from this horrible illness, and the fact too, like last month his daughter died. You know, and the reality of it is like, my goodness. How guilty is this man? I don't know if he took the money out of his pocket. You know, she traveled all over the world before she died. Like, you know, what kind of guilt trip did he have? And again, this is my opinion, and I'm not saying it came directly from me. I'm just saying this is a small community. People are talking, especially when it came to this lawsuit. You know, people are going, what's going on? And I said, well, this is my whole point. When Nathan Chasinghorse was arrested, all those followers, all that money to bring them home, like even paying like my niece that seventy-two thousand dollars for medical bills, all a select few of our nation people were groomed by Roy Whitney. And I said that it didn't come out of his pocket. came out of our band funds. I said, why do you think you know, people think I'm harping about Nathan Chasing Horse? I said, I'm harping about the fact of how he was supported by our leadership. And what do we do? We look the other way, and we look at and say, how unstable is she? You know, or like what they're doing to Lance Mini wounds right now. I'm going, you know, come on people. Really? You know, I know I'm educated. I know my work skill. I know how I've, you know, had to work my whole life to b to be seen. And I and you know, when people saw me, especially in systemic racist Utah, I was like one of the lost tribes. I was never gonna get to heaven because I was never gonna get married in the Mormon temple. You know, I was a lost cause to begin with. So here I am, you know, like I'm a single indigenous elder woman. Who the hell wants to have sex with me? She's an old crow. I'm going, my goodness, give it up. Give it up. You know, say what you want to say about me and anything. But damn it, you leave my nieces and nephews and my siblings alone. Just the reality of it. My brother says, well there's no paper trail to the Crane family and I said I said yes to our niece. That's seventy-two thousand dollars they paid for her medical. you know, like I said, I have nothing. In in the sense of what people in Suttana believes is nothing. You know, a company, a job, a partner, children, grandchildren. That's the status quo. But for me, knowing the reality of aging and knowing that there are so many women who have been divorced, married, cheated on. just choose not to be involved with men. I mean I don't hate men; I love men. But some of them could be, you know, like I said, they could be they're the most dangerous person a woman could ever be involved with. So of course, yes, I am quite critical when it comes to the way men think about women. And I'm also critical about women who think about other women. especially when, you know, people think that they're matriarch, and I'm going, no, you don't understand it. Like my friend the on my one podcast, she says, you know, the chiefs at the AFN, you know, fifty percent of the women are the backbones of our First Nations Inuit Metis communities. The men don't understand like, you know, the workforce, the workforce of indigenous women in Fir First Nations Metis and Inuit communities raising their children and grandchildren and great grandchildren. It's a choice they made. And yet, you know, here are the men who are saying, how can we engage with our women? And I said, well, like I said, when I was twelve, twelve to fourteen and I saw my grandmother and all the grandmothers here in Soutina selling used clothes, bake sale to fundraise. It was called a woman's auxiliary. And my childhood friend, she says, we will women need to go back to basics. And I said, well that's what started Sutana Nation Paw. The women. I said, but the men came in and said, I was I was chief then and I was this leader that. You know, go ahead, take it. What else what el what else more can you take? Like that's why when indigenous women say our men don't know what we as women go through. And again too, rightfully so, we don't know what our indigenous men go through. But I but I do know that when you're a matriarch and you're indigenous, you're born into it, you're raised in it, you must thrive in it. And for the life of me, you know, you must be there, even if your central nervous system is so shot, you still must be there because they're depending on you. And for me that's what the leadership in the indigenous leadership is saying. How can we engage with our women? You know, it just breaks my heart that that this premier of Alberta, who is a woman herself, cannot see it. Cannot see how she's disrespecting all those indigenous people, both men and women, who came before she was even born. Who wanted to hold on to our spirituality because it was illegal to practice our spiritual gifts. And for Nice Chi Institute to document all this, to know that to feed our spirit, we had to protect our spirits. Because to heal, our spirits must have to be well. And how it's how it was all put there to help us heal from this legacy of Indian residential school, from this legacy of systemic racism that we were all born into as indigenous peoples. Yes, it's important to be seen. And the reality of it is, like I hope my viewers or the people who listen to me understand this. This concept and this understanding of being so negative about indigenous people, especially women and children. You're not on the front lines. You're not there hoping that your child or grandchild doesn't get slipped a roofie or an overdose or be kidnapped and trafficked. Even our educated women go missing. You know, so like I said, it’s one thing to have a status card and if you've never lived in First Nations in US Inuit communities and you're advocating, you know you're a frontline worker. You know you've had death threats because they don't want to hear the truth. They don't want to hear that they're racist. They think, well, you know, la-di-da, I have a token in indigenous friend. And that's why I say, you know, this, Daniel Smith is a and her all her cohorts are very clever, even at the academic level. Be giving out PhDs left and right, when the groundwork has already been done 50 years ago. And they're dismantling Nietzsche, there's dismantling the woman's shelter by you know putting women on the board who are Americanized. You know, like all this stuff, pitting nonprofit dollars against minorities, Africans against indigenous people, it's been going on for decades. And when immigrants come in like Muslims and if somebody says something racist towards them, they can take it. Court and charge them. But indigenous people don't have those human rights. They don't have the same human rights as immigrants who come into Canada. So, yes, you know, I've met and I do get invited to talk with immigrants about the history of Indigenous peoples, about my parents traveling to South American India. They're all sponsored by corporations. Grooming them, you know, all over North America. Even when I was at in Utah with foster care kids who talked about their parents all going to Makna Island being groomed by this organization so they could travel to South America and India to introduce capitalism in into their systems, like Peru, Bolivia, India. Big corporations. So, you know, so what Donald Trump is doing and Putin, grooming and putting money into the with the Alberta Premier of Alberta, that's nothing. Indigenous people have been going through this ever since they discovered oil in Alberta. Industrial school, residential school, you know, Stampede Board, Enbridge. You know, look at look at the human cir circus. Like, you know, when they first discovered oil, they didn't give a damn about indigenous rights. We had to have a ticket to just leave the community to go into the city of Calgary. And then the trafficking of those oil workers from up north coming into Calgary, what, for indig trying you know, prostituting indigenous girls? That's historical with the Calgary Stampede. And again, too, statistics. The more divorces happen; more children are apprehended. Does the trafficking during that whole, you know, the whole you know, humanity saying, give it, you know, you have the right to walk around with alcohol drinking it in public during the stampede. My friend in Edmonton, she says, Edmontonians, we're not like that. We don't we don't We don't wear cowboy hats. Every company, every store in Edmonton doesn't wear cowboy hats and we don't put shit on our cowboy boots. You know, I had to laugh because it's true. Calgary goes all out for an oil company. Why? Because we're the only city in the entire country of Canada that is so Americanized. Why? Shit. I lived in the States on my own dime. With no help from the chief and council, nothing. I used to sell fry bread and tacos just so I could go move back and forth and make extra money with the help of my family. Like I like when I when I say I'm angry at how things turned out because people just thought that somewhere, somehow, had this magic bag of cash. You know that magic bag of cash is called hard fucking work. You know, really. You know, you can you can say, what the hell? She's a bitter old hag. Go ahead, say it. You know, I'm living my best life. I'm living my best life. People see me. People validate me. All this work, 20 years of it, and even before that, in my early twenties. You know, trying to get a place for myself, you know, after I was brut brutally assaulted so I could be a bur is not a burden to my parents. You know, putting the budget together for the first daycare center so I could live in the basement as a janitor. Then by twenty-four, twenty-five after my father passed away, you know, my mother could have easily just gave up. But I was there, I supported her, I helped her establish the first budget for the detox treatment center because of the lateral violence she was experiencing as a widow. Again, you know, can I be the janitor? Can I live in the basement? Look after this the house that's renovated? No. In fact, the chief and counsel, because they were related to these serial rapists, and again the legacy of this cult, okay, even from decades ago when I was a young woman to now, all of that money that ban funds were supporting them because they were following, they were in the cult with Nathan Chasing horse. That's the legacy of the serial rapists. That's the legacy of the leadership hiding all this, what this central nervous system, this addiction, this you know, propensity for family violence. That's what they covered up. And yet, like I said, after I did these proposals, those leaders. Created a policy and it stated any single woman 55 years and younger who did not have children could not apply for a house. So, when they had this election this past term, and half of the women were voted in, and half were men, all young, some are you know close to like some are in their close to 60. Although this leadership, this new elected chief and counsel, fifty percent are women. And these women are women who've grown up here in Soutina. They're not married in. You know, like you gotten understand this too. Why would they elect women who married into Tsuutina for chief and counsel when they haven't bore witness to the injustice of living here from childhood to teenage to young adult, all this violence perpetrated against us. Of course they're not gonna vote for us. But now is the time when we must look at our children. And we must look at the intergenerational trauma and the impact of alcohol and drugs and the impact of sexual perversion. This this whole need to control and have dominance over the weaker the weaker person. That that wasn't part of the spirituality and the foundations of all the policies within Nietzsche, within the native woman's shelter, which Shit, bless Danielle Smith's heart, dismantled it ever since she became Premier of Alberta. I want you to stress I want you to understand this. Do you think that the leadership I'm just a grunt? Not I shouldn't say grunt. I'm a minnow in a in a big ocean. And you know, like or maybe I'm not even a minnow. I'm just swimming there with all the fish and i i indigenous fish, okay. do you think like I'm just one voice? I'm just one voice in this whole province of Alberta that is speaking on this insight into Daniel Smith. How naive are non-Indigenous people? And if you're listening If you're listening to my podcast, I know I my podcast is going to Singapore, I like European countries, like there's a few that go into the United States, but I'm saying when Putin and Trump engage with Daniel Smith and with the lawyer Ross Rosh Roth A Sam Mureshi, all these cohorts in separatism. You know, hello, you know, I'm sixty-four. I've been there protesting for clean water in up in northern Alberta in my early twenties, nineteen years old, sitting in, protesting, trying to understand the injustice that I was born into. Now do you get it? There are hardworking chiefs and counsel throughout Alberta who already know these things that I'm telling you, that have been networking and want to help. And they're trusting they're trusting women because we're the backbone of our communities. Now, if you can't see that and you can't see me, that's not my fault. You're gonna get lost. You're gonna get lost because there's a there's a renaissance happening. And no matter how powerful Danielle Smith believes she is, the very fact that we had a young man and young men with the suit in a nation and young women file this lawsuit. It's just one of the many chiefs and councils throughout Alberta that have been dealing with this kind of politics. We were born into it. We're educated by our parents and our grandparents right from day one. Right from day one. I used to see my grandfather, you know, fixing his headdress so he could have his teepee at the s at the Calvary Stampede to make extra money. Constantly working as a as a as a as a ranchman. You know, my uncles being rodeo cowboys, you know, making money. My father used to have his saddle, and he used to hitchhike to all the rodeos in central in southern Alberta to make money. You know, he re enlisted into the military so he could make money for his children. All this, all these things that that indigenous people have managed to try and do and succeed to be seen. You know, my father was never seen. But you know, and that's okay because I saw him. I saw my mother. And I constantly say, I'm just truly grateful to have been my mother's caregiver so that I could see her all her life. That's all she wanted to do is be seen. Can you understand that? That's why like when it came to my nieces, like l like stand by me. Somebody stands by me. Somebody sees me. You know, and even there I was saying, I'm here. I see you. They were so in love with Nathan Chasinghorse. And even to this day, all those sleeper cells of people who have mental health issues, who still believe in this this charlatan, this bastardization of our spiritual ways of thinking. When we had the very foundations of our spirit documented in curriculum through Nietzsche Institute, through the people who were going through recovery, who went through that whole phase of dry drunk and their own mental health issues. We have that. We have those battle scars. And those people taught their children. Even now the new chiefs and council that go to the AFN. They are victims of foster care systems. They are victims of being sexually violated in the foster care system who are now leaders in their communities. So in at my age, my age and my parents' age, they were the victims of the Indian residential school and the sexual attacks they had. So, this legacy this legacy of having our children and our women not being seen has been going on for decades. We were born into it. And for all the women out there who listen to my podcast, you know, fascism is a like a it's like somebody saying, I have a magic wand. You go to sleep; everything will be fine. And you know what? You go to sleep. And then when you wake up you find out you have no rights. You find out you must wear a burqa You find out you can't even say boo because your husband could kill you. Like in the seventies in in Iran, women had women were able to be doctors, lawyers, and leaders. And in Alberta, we must be we're very cautious. And the more nonindigenous women, women with privilege, who can get up and swear at Danielle Smith and say, take your fascist pancakes, you know, and become an inst like a trend, you know, get notoriety. Good. It takes it takes young people, it takes people, women, to stand up and say, enough. You know, where are all these like I like I said, my white friend struggles, she's sixty-five. All these women who grew up in in you know this system where they were privileged, now as they're elderly, they're being treated differently. So, you know, when I talk about mental health and the central nervous system as a human being, you know, we take care try to take care of ourselves. Take care of yourselves. Be mindful of the activities you take part in. I'm not perfect. I I'm s like I'm struggling. But the reality of it is like what would I do if I didn't do the podcast? What would I do if I didn't network with women across Canada? And I'm not just one indigenous elder woman. There are thousands of Indigenous women across Canada who've been networking for decades. And the and we are the foundation of our Indigenous people. So, you know, I I just wanted to put that out there and I hope I hope the people who are listening in from other countries, you know, understand like th that we're living in a very fragile state, especially when Alberta's the thar the third largest oil producer in the world. We're living in a very fragile situation, and we need to all understand what fascism is. again, I'm grateful for the ability to do a podcast and to post it and that people are interested in listening to what I have to say. But again too, I'm just one of many fish in the sea. And some of us can be seen and others can't. So, with that I bid you a good day. I still must finish my coffee and again, like I said, when I get off the phone with someone and I have this epiphany, like just this this whole dialogue of like, my goodness Like how many years has it taken? How many years has it taken for people to see this one this young fifteen-year-old? Who was not a cult member of Nathan Chasing Horse, was supposed to be protected by leadership. That leadership failed her. You know, I still champion the fact that they should compensate her. They have victim services, but she sh you know, I don't think she's eligible. But you know, for all the cover-up and all the money that Chief Roy Whitney spent on his so-called supporters that were part of this cult. You know, it's time to be accountable because, you know, somewhere, someplace, like I lost one of my nieces. And basically, I've lost my other niece. Because for decades, for decades, it I tried. And for me as an elder I don't have the energy to continue trying with her. I don't. The energy that I have are for those nieces and nephews and family members who will listen. Or even for strangers. My cohorts and allies. Yeah, I I'm just grateful that when they listen to me it's it like a it's intent. It's th they're focused on my every word and I'm so grateful to be seen this way. So, if you're one of them listening to me, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, if you didn't see me, I wouldn't be putting this podcast out there.