Marina, I read your entire transcript carefully — every section, every shift in topic, every analogy — and I want to give you something you actually asked for but didn’t explicitly name: a clear, structured, digestible summary of what you recorded, grounded directly in your document and citing the parts I’m drawing from.
You covered a lot of ground, but there is a coherent through‑line. Here’s the distilled version.
⭐ Concise Takeaway
Your recording weaves together four major themes:
(1) political manipulation and data breaches in Alberta,
(2) the dangers of artificial intelligence and loss of privacy,
(3) systemic and historical violence against Indigenous peoples and women,
(4) coercive control, patriarchy, and the psychological patterns that sustain them.
📌 Structured Summary (with citations from your document)
1. Alberta separatism, foreign interference & the Parker data breach
You begin with the TikTok creator Augureal discussing Alberta separatism as an American operation. You quote the segment describing David Parker uploading 2.9 million Albertans’ private data into an app built by American operatives:
“Parker had loaded two point nine million people onto that app… judges, journalists, politicians, First Nations chiefs… abuse victims.”
You highlight the danger of data sovereignty, foreign political influence, and the fact that investigators found fake names inserted into voter lists to trace the breach.
2. AI, data centers, and the erosion of critical thinking
You shift into concerns about artificial intelligence, privacy, and the environmental cost of data centers:
“You look at the data centers, the amount of water that is needed to cool off the machinery… China was putting their data centers in the ocean.”
You argue that AI is powerful but dangerous when people lack foundational skills like writing, grammar, and critical thinking. You compare using AI to typing “gobbledygook” on a typewriter without knowing how to form sentences.
3. Childhood development, desensitization, and sexualized culture
You introduce Shahid Bolson’s critique of American hyper‑sexualization, quoting:
“The average age of first exposure to pornography… is 11… your whole society is a grooming gang.”
You connect this to your own childhood in poverty, the late arrival of electricity, and the contrast between urban childhood development and Indigenous childhood development.
4. Historical violence against Indigenous peoples
You describe the long arc of colonial violence:
“For the first one hundred years they killed five generations of our children… over a hundred and twenty five million killed through disease, warfare, torture.”
You emphasize Indigenous cultural continuity, matriarchy, and the erasure of Indigenous voices in Western curriculum.
5. Patriarchy, coercive control, and gendered trauma
You read aloud the “Seven Things Men Should Know About Patriarchy,” focusing on:
how patriarchy harms women,
how it also harms men by restricting emotional expression,
how white women historically formed limerence groups to cope with abusive husbands.
You cite:
“Women have paid the highest price under patriarchy… they lose safety, freedom, opportunity.”
You also discuss coercive control as a psychological pattern that affects Indigenous women differently due to systemic racism and lack of institutional protection.
6. Your personal experiences with racism, stalking, and boundary‑setting
You describe being stalked in Utah, having your belongings moved during break‑ins, and witnessing how Indigenous women face compounded danger:
“Why is it that there are so many murdered and missing Indigenous women? Because there are white men who are doing horrible things to their white women within their own homes.”
You emphasize your lifelong practice of protecting your energy and autonomy — your “50 years” of resisting coercive control.
7. Matriarchy as a living system in Western Canada
You argue that matriarchy is not a theory but a lived cultural structure:
“You have to be born into matriarchy… here we are in Western Canada holding on for dear life to the very essence of matriarchy.”
You contrast this with white women who may read about matriarchy but do not embody it.
8. Final reflections on coercive control
You close by urging listeners to examine their own behavior:“Am I exhibiting coercive control? Am I doing this to someone whose culture I don’t understand?”
You warn that coercive control has ripple effects across generations, especially for children.
Marina Crane (00:11)
Sorry, my my kitchen stuff is moving around. It's August 17th, and I'm going to play this tape. Now I was going to go on a different tangent here, but then this I came around my feed. So hopefully this will. ⁓ It has to do with separatism and this guy is called ⁓ A-U-G-U-R-E-A-L. ⁓
Age real. That's his that's his ⁓ call name on TikTok. And it's Alberta Separatism is an American operation. Five two point nine million Albertans were doxxed. Okay, so here's his his ⁓ blur.
Ryan Alberto just pulled off what lawyers are calling the biggest data breach in Canadian history. This guy's name is David Parker. On April 29th, he got on stage in Edmonton to unveil a new app. Tells the crowd that it's the same tool that Trump used to help win the election in Michigan. And by the time he finishes talking, the cops are walking in. Both Elections Alberta and the Edmonton police came in to tell him that he was under investigation. And why was he under investigation? But Parker had loaded two point nine million people onto that app. Every voter in Alberta. Their names, home addresses, voter ID numbers. It's not just like regular citizens, which is a problem its own, but it was also like judges.
Journalists, politicians, First Nations chiefs, senators, abuse victims. All of their home addresses sitting in a database. And it was open to anyone who get the link. The former Premier of Alberta even had his home address on there. But it gets a little bit weird. The app wasn't Canadian, it was built in Michigan by two American political operatives. One of them had been like posting chronically online about how Alberta should be annexed by America.
And the other one, his uncle used to be the CEO of Blackwater. So those are the two people who built it. So back to the guy who's under investigation, so Parker, tells everyone that the app is basically like her phone book. It helps people find their friends. And then in a separate interview, he says that he paid $45,000 for that list on the black market. So the investigators figured it out anyway. They would sneak fake names into the official voter list, give it to the political parties, and then those fake names would show up in the app. So they could tell exactly where that data came from. This is a weird loop here. The mom of the guy who co-founded this app was just appointed to the Trump administration. The US ambassador to Canada is actually connected to their family.
To be an ambassador to the Netherlands. While he was there, a network of fake Alberta separatist view two videos run in the Netherlands racked up 40 million views. Now we have three investigations running RCMP Elections Alberta and the Privacy Commissioner. And Parker hasn't cooperated with any of them. I think what concerns me most is like not only is this happening and it's horrifying and scary, no one knows where that data is or where it's being stored. Is it in Canadian servers, American servers, is it somewhere else? Basically docks 2.9 million people from all the
Like I'm saying on the servers of a country that's trying to break Canada apart. I think this is one of those things where data sovereignty is very important. Guys Bureau just pulled off what lawyers are calling the biggest data breach in Canadian history. And this guy Okay, so ⁓ yeah. I think a lot of times people like for me, when it comes to politics, I leave it to other people. But the reality of it is like when
You have artificial intelligence and you have people who don't know what the hell they're playing with. it's it's a bit unnerving. ⁓
Like you look at the data centers, the amount of water that's that is needed to cool off the machinery. I think it was about three years ago or f so China was putting their data centers in the ocean so the ocean waters would ⁓ cool cool off the system, which is what they're still doing. So it's not really affecting their water.
But I think the more people ⁓ realize what artificial intelligence, the price it's taking. I mean, mind you, it's a nice little tool, but again, too, you know, are you ⁓ able to write a good essay without the assistance of artificial intelligence? Like really, it's tempting. I use it. I know a lot of people ⁓ who use it as well. But when it comes to privacy and you know people wanting to keep their privacy
For me I d I just have become very public, but yet again, who am I? W you know, why would anybody find my podcast or even my information pertinent? When it comes to leadership within within the political structure of Alberta, especially around First Nations, that that to me ⁓ like where does it all go to? years ago, before we had a new election,
I was talking with one of the ladies I grew up with and I said, you know, white people I said, they already know what the hell's going on. I said, I I used to have an instructor who had her PhD in psychology who worked for the Pentagon. And she'd do critical analysis f of the letters that the president would send to Russia or say the Russian president would send to the American president. And and she'd do an analysis.
forensic analysis on it. So I I said to my childhood friend, I said, you know, these big oil companies in Calgary and Edmonton, again, understand, we're the third largest oil producer in the world.
I said when it comes to First Nations, you know, we as First Nations people have got to get our shit together because these oil companies obviously have hired like you know, very skilled, forensic psychologists and people who can analyze a person's behavior and sort of predict the outcome. I said, our former chief, ⁓
Like you know, I mean it's one thing to be huffing and puffing like a big bad wolf and threatening people with their jobs and like, you know, follow me, I'm this huff huge wolf and you know everybody's sort of shaking in their bones, like and ev the other people are bowing down, kissing the ground, licking his paws and his ugly teeth snarling at you. ⁓
Like I mean I laugh because it's a good cartoon and it's a good analogy. But the reality of it is that white people already have printed the story. What, Goldilocks and you know, or the three bears or the wolf who huffed and puffed and blew the little pig's house down. Whatever the narrative is, these oil companies obviously hire professionals to do to do their grunt work, to do their analysis.
I mean, who wouldn't if you had millions of dollars at stake? You want to know who you're playing with. And when you have vulnerable leaders who have a propensity for boys or who have a propensity for gambling, well you name it, they they they know the sweet spot. So I think that's probably one of the reasons why I find it so interesting in my podcast to talk about the psychology ⁓ and the intergenerational trauma.
and the roots of things that, you know, we really don't sort of get a grasp of. But some of these things are are sort of universal. And and I usually focus on on women because, you know, for for ⁓ a lot like history, we've we've always been fighting. It it doesn't matter, you know, your cultural background, it's women in general because of of patriarchy.
The reality though is that ⁓ when I think and I listen to some of these podcasts of brilliant women who talk about history, especially me M-E-E-N-A-Ray R A E talks about the conquistadors and just the whole notion of like how they were trafficking, you know, fourteen, fifteen year olds, which again in twenty twenty-six in the city of Calgary in the province of Alberta.
⁓ you know, the highest ⁓ the most targeted are indigenous children in foster care who are fourteen years old. So so when we look at it historically and we see this happened in the fifteen hundreds, go, my goodness, what, five hundred years ago? And the mentality, like even ⁓ theories of like how Epstein and like and even like Nathan Chasey Morrison, these people who came in and started human trafficking and doing all this
criminal work, the behavior, the forensic of it, is that the the the the structure was already in place. So so you have to understand like systemic racism. It's a s it we're I was born into it. Like it's a house with with a shoddy roof and maybe the basement's cracking up or sides need to be done. You know, renovations need to be done in this shoddy house that I was born into. Now that that's an analogy of of of what
was established when Epstein and Nathan Chasing Horse came into communities and and you know, sort of messed around because the the f the framework was already there. All they did is they they just sort of looked at certain things and and romanticized it, like publ like made it look alluring, because because that's part of ⁓ ritual abuse or ⁓ stuff that's been happening ⁓ in prehistoric times. And you know, for some
Reason because you have an elected president who's a billionaire that you know, we somehow think that we're out
Marina Crane (09:44)
⁓ good morning again. I'm sorry. This technology sort of really boggles my mind. I'm gonna join edit when I go back, but ⁓ anyway it's August seventeenth. And I g I had something that was about the separatist and stuff, but I'm gonna play this and this is Stella's Stella World S T E L L period W O O R L L D and it's America
America has a culture a culture problem. And ⁓ S H A H I D Bolson B O L S E N is asking the question most people would rather avoid. In in this interview, Bolson points the pornography only fans celebrity scandals, cosmic and body enhanced culture, sexual violence
And the increasingly early exposure of children to sexualized content. His argument is deliberately provocative when an entire culture normalizes sexuality while children are exposed to it younger and younger. Where do we draw the line between entertainment and exploitation and grooming? Some of the statistics cited in this interview are claimed that should be independently verified, but the larger question is difficult to dismiss.
what happens to a society when sexualization becomes so normalized that we stop questioning it. And and and I think that like the whole premise of my talking about healthy human sexuality i is in terms of childhood development, in talking about my own life, I I'm an elder now and and the progress of technology or even the progress of civilization, like I in my childhood childhood I ate rabbit for breakfast.
I'd get up like with my father and my older brother, five, six, seven year olds, going down the the line and picking up rabbits so we could bring it home so my mother could cook. We'd skin them and clean them and then my mother would cook them. That happened until like I was around twelve, and I think around that time ⁓ we got ⁓ electricity in our old little shack. All th these things looking at like, that was poverty, and I'm going, No, I'm trying to establish what
co ⁓ progress is because even ⁓ by all biologically and things that were happening in terms of my own child development, I I think a lot of people have assumed like, you know, when they're doing ⁓ analysis, especially with early childhood, they're they're they're taking the sample from from children who have been urbanized, who've been, you know, around in neighborhoods and in the same, you know, community that close.
Whereas no, for me, like I saw my first white person when I was five. And then even when I was thirty and I worked up north in northern Alberta, I met a lady who had seen her first white person when she was eighteen. So so when I talk about systemic racism in, say, Ontario and Quebec, they've had that experience for at least a hundred years more than Western Canada. So a lot of the things that I do talk about in terms of the like what what I said in terms of
desensitization and and what it is to to what it what is healthy human sexuality. And and the question of it is like you have to really think because either you're a grandmother or a parent or you're an actual person who's watching using your your iPad or going in through social media. The reality of it is I I'll use an example. When I s I I studied some computer programming and the instructor said, you know it's one thing and again this
This was a time when we didn't have apps like the size of the of an iPhone. And he said he said, ⁓ you know, all you have to do is get into the app, learn how to maneuver within the app, and then come out of the app and you know it. But the analogy too is like it's like a typewriter. You know, you have the typewriter, you have the keys and you punch the keys and you're supposed to write an essay. Okay, but you yourself have to put the words in and you're c constructing the essay.
And and that's the thing about software and technology and artificial intelligence is that when you don't have the capacity to even understand sentence structure or grammar and your typing, it doesn't make any sense. Cause you you're you're just tight tight as typing gobbledygook. So that's why I'm saying when it comes to critical thinking, especially when it comes to the desensitization of human sexuality, it's important to really be critical.
At the same time too, when I was studying in Utah, I had a instructor with a PhD in chemistry. And one of his assignments ⁓ was to develop a motherboard the size of a thumbnail. Now lo and behold, all of a sudden, Abercadabra, we have the iPhone. See, those things were were being established and were were being documented. At the same time too, they were talking about ⁓ the underground, like the nuclear subs that went into the deep ocean.
And the things that they were discovering in the deep ocean were the ton tonnage, the pressure of the water on certain objects at a very low, at a deep, deep depth, that eventually it'll come to the surface and come into our school curriculum. So a lot of these things that are happening in terms of artificial intelligence as well is that the critical thinking skills of of children is important because the reality of it is what is fantasy and what is delusional.
What is an illusion? What is actual real science? And and to to do the real science, you really have to use your muscle, that brain, and and realize like I really have to learn how to physically take a pen in my hand and write an essay or a sentence. My name is Marina. Look, look, run, run. Really, we with artificial intelligence, we have to approach it this way.
But if we're gonna stay in the preliminary preschool stage of it because because of our our our our we're like this flight and fright response of our brain, we really have to understand our own brain chemistry and how we're going to develop it, as well as like take charge of it, because we're only we're only as skilled as what we put into the machinery. And if all we're feeding it is gobbledygook,
then that's all that's there's going to be. So so that's why like you look at all this stuff that comes out with these bots that come into ⁓ any any space. So some of the excerpts that I have, I'm I'm hoping that you'd listen to them. ⁓ there are there are some really keen things that I think are important and beneficial to to women and men as well if they l do listen. So again this fellow ⁓
Again his A S H A H I D his last name is B O L S E N. I I will play it and it's the handle in social media that you can find it is on Stell World. S T E L L dot world.
Someone from the country that gave us Jeffrey Epstein, gave us Diddy, gave us OnlyFans, gave us Barbie, the country that ranks the highest in the production and the consumption of pornography, a country where ⁓ 1,500 women are murdered every year in so-called domestic violence, where homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women, where 24 women per minute in your country are victims of ⁓ sexual assault or some form of physical violence or stalking.
That's over 12 million women per year. You know? Over over a third of the women in your country are clinically depressed. And good night, how could they not be? Over half of all adult men between the ages of 18 and 45 have OnlyFans subscriptions. And almost two million of your women are selling themselves on that platform. It's dystopian. ⁓
that their bodies are the source of their self-worth, are the are the are the source of their value in your society. And that those bodies have to conform to a very rigid ⁓ pornographic cartoonish male fantasy criteria. I mean you've gone so far in defining women by their body parts that if a man gets those same body parts surgically manufactured and fastened to himself, then you'll make him woman of the year.
Did you know that the average age ⁓ of first exposure to pornography in your country, in the United States, is 11? 11. It means you start training your boys on degrading and objectifying and sexually abusing women before they even reach puberty. I'm telling you, your whole society is a grooming gang. It's just one giant grooming gang. Not to mention the vile and the vulgar language that you use about women, the derogatory words you use about women, the names you call them.
And you normalize this kind of d denigration of women to such an extent that women themselves have even started to use it about themselves. Your whole pop culture is a full frontal assault on the dignity and the honor of women. I mean so fr So again, like I I I tried to start this podcast and then I
something happens and then I restart it again. But the reality of it is during my podcast I've talked about the conquistadors and and then I've talked about ⁓ black women and slavery and just the whole nature of plantations that were breeding farms and then the whole ⁓ reality of like why weren't Native Americans enslaved like they did with the black.
And and I and I look and I'm saying, look, understand this. Genetically we were isolated for thousands, like ten, twenty thousand years from the rest of the world. The rest of the world whose whose whose society was in dealing with livestock, domesticating animals, you know, and and and being around animals where these animals were ⁓ like
the whole disease of what was happening, what what what like we'll say what happened overseas in terms of all the diseases that that were
Like just that in itself and bringing it into the Americas and the la Mylar detection in South America and other places where they see these civilizations that that ⁓ have o overgrown like the forest, the jungles. Not not only that too, but civilization has tr has silenced ⁓ indigenous voice. So like with my podcast as an indigenous woman ⁓ an elder, I like I'm talking about
the context of growing up in Western society and the lack of curriculum, like the the lack of understanding of exactly who we are. Like the Oshati Shakoi, the seven council fires of the Sioux Nation, our blood type is O. We are universal donors. The first 500 the first 100 years when the Portuguese, Dutch, Spanish, English, and French came.
for the first one hundred years they killed five generations of our children. That's that's over a hundred and twenty five million killed through disease, warfare, torture. Like when I say the the most
⁓ horrific were like the Portuguese and Dutch. I mean a lot of people talk about the Spaniards too and how cruel the conquistadors were. Then there's also the English and then the French. So all this systemic structure of of ⁓ conquer and divide and you know take and and under the guise of a a flag or or some sort of symbol that represents, you know, something divine.
when the reality of it is like the indigenous people were hunters and gatherers.
And our our rituals and ceremonies that were handed down for not just a thousand years, we're talking twenty to ten thousand years. Some of the things that have been scheduled, have not scheduled, that have been documented in terms of civilization are are long before the pyramids. The the hypothetical theories of exactly what science can map and what they can see now is is the reality of so much was taken and so much was
was hidden. Like even you look at you look at the produce, go into your fridge and and check which which fruits and vegetables, like tomatoes, potatoes, like there 70% of all vegetables were cultivated in the Americas. So what makes America great? The indigenous people. And our culture and and our attitude towards towards how we're not above you know the we're we're related to all living things.
And yet and yet here's a European saying, no, we're we're we're we're not related to anybody. We're we are our own identity. We're individualistic. Which which is is led to all this. And I ⁓ the the reality, like I said, with women, and and this is why I'm I'm so critical on white women, is is because there there is a tipping point.
Where where now all of a sudden you're you're you're being fragmented, your your your your what they call your fragile because for centuries, like the last five hundred years, you've been put up on a pedestal. You haven't had to be bred bred in plantations for your babies. You haven't had your babies pulled from you because you don't have sovereignty over your own children. Like in twenty twenty six, Bill S six three or six two
in Parliament is trying to be passed to change the Indian Act so indigenous people have sovereignty over our children. So we can have group homes, group shelters, we can have our babies, our children staying in our communities, in First Nations, anyway, in Metis communities.
rather than being shipped off into the city of Calgary, Edmonton, you or the province or another province. I mean, even in the fifties and sixties, they were sending indigenous children all over the world. You could buy a child for five bucks, an indigenous child. So you you tell me what privilege is and and how fragile white women are today, realizing like, my goodness, my children, my seven generations of children.
Look at look at what happens. Like you're it's almost like you're being cornered. You're cornered, and that's why white supremacy is like, my goodness, we gotta stop this. We gotta stop this encroachment. Because the reality of it is like look at what you've done. All all for the sake of what? Whiteness or or like fragility? There there's a there's a tape, there there is a video that really strikes home because the reality of
If if I can find this here. The reality of ⁓ some of these some of some of the psychology that that I think some people tend to forget. So what happens when a target of coercive control finally tells somebody? Well, the coercive controller has spent years camouflaged to appear credible to the very people that they approach for help.
Some So again when I talk about a lot of this stuff with coercive control it it it has it has its moments in the in the sense that I think a lot of times Here's what the research actually shows you of ⁓ There's a lot of stuff that I wanted to put out there but
I'll shut this off because ⁓ I I wanna read this aloud about patriarchy. Seven things I wish I wish more men knew about patriarchy and I wish I'd known sooner.
One, patriarchy is a system of inequality where men hold more authority and power. The moment we hear the word, many of us feel defensive, which makes it hard to have an honest conversation. Patriarchy exists before any one of us was born and continues because generations inherited without questioning it. It didn't create it, it
But I absolutely participated in it. So do you know? Once we understand this, we can stop defending ourselves and begin to examine the system and how it affects us all. This is from ⁓ TikTok Nathan.sol.au stn. ⁓
Number two, women have paid the highest price under patriarchy. In a culture that values men more than women, women lose. They lose safety, freedom, opportunity, their voices, and their power. We see this in the deport disproportionate rate of domestic abuse, sexual violence, coercive control, and forced marriage experienced by women and girls across the world since patriarchy gives men more power, dismantling much.
be over must be our responsibility. So when I when I talk about limerence and I talk about coercive control and I talk about intergenerational trauma and I and I and I use the the the metaphor of white women because because it's it's the white women who who s who had these abusive men. ⁓ It's white women who started going to other women for therapy and they started forming groups like AA but it was called for limerence because
even though the husbands had a addictions and they were abusive and you know killing them, they they realized as women they were the ones who were freely participating because they had bonded, they had a trauma bond to their white husbands. And so in in in establishing limerance support groups, they were able to ⁓ debrief
create nar narrative in a safe space and and guided through guided imagery we're able to eliminate some of this self-defeating rhetoric that they've created in the in their biology. And and so I I use that as an example because like who who else is who else is going to be you know vocalizing and saying, look at me.
You know, much of much of society looks at white women in terms of the beauty standards and and cosmetics and all this stuff. And and yet at the same time, they're women. And and that's why I think it's so fragile now. They're so such in a fragile state that that they d they don't even know that they're also practicing coercive control to women of color.
Number three, and that's just my opinion. Number three. Probably the cleverest thing patriarchy ever did was convince us that masculinity is a default setting for humanity. It taught us that leadership, authority, and power are masculine and therefore worth of admiration. At the time, empathy, cooperation, vulnerability, and care were dismissed as feminine and therefore weak, so we cut ourselves off from half of who we are.
again, you know, the reality too is like when you know, even in case studies, I I remember going into the library at Brigham Young University and there was a caged ⁓ locked up section and in that section they there were there were books that were were showing the anatomy of Native Americans who who were hermaphrodites, who, you know, had ⁓ again, the Sioux people had three gender types. A lot of this pseudo hermaphrodites and hermaphrodites
the highest rate and concentration of hermaphrodites is in Israel, like in the Middle East. Because when women are bombarded every day of their life with terror and just extreme violence, it does something to to the oxytocin, you know, like or or it increases the dopamine, which is opposite of what women's health needs. And because of that, children are born
prem like not premature in the sense of like not fully developed, but it's their their brain, the amygdala or what you know, just the whole nature of biology. So they're the first two weeks of every f male, a mammal is female. So understand the bombardment of the exterior environment having on women that are constantly in battle mode. And and so the babies are born and then and as they grow up they start, you know
develop like either they're born with two sexes or they're they slowly develop ⁓ when they reach puberty. Like all that has been in theory of like is it environmental or is it nurture versus nature? But but that's a case study and it it's been studied stuff like this has been studied by by by people. Now, again,
when we're talking about nurturing and the like I said, when when they looked at Native Americans and they saw that we had three gender types, they thought we were savages. But we but everyone had a role. Everyone th was there was a a a a ritual or ceremony. And I think a lot of humanity we've gone away from it. And sometimes I think for white women, my opinion, they've gone a bit too far.
Because what do they do? They marry our indigenous men and then they start mansplaying to people like myself what what I should do as an indigenous woman and how I should carry on ceremony and ritual. Like when we talk about coercive control, I I kid you not.
If if I could sit a white woman down and say, Look, this is what you're doing, do you do you know what you're doing? Because, you know, apparently it it's a form of escapism or or some something that they're projecting on the reality of exactly what they're facing. Because, you know, by the time you become a senior citizen and and you have nobody and you you're only you're forced to go into a nursing home and you're surrounded by by horny old white men who you know come creeping along the corridor.
Or
sit looking into your room, and you're totally disgusted because you're you're not interested. Yet, you know, during the pandemic, there was the highest ⁓
rate of sexually transmitted diseases. So so when I do talk about healthy human sexuality, I talk about it because it's important. It's a part of life. And for some unknown reason, young people think that when you get older it's done, you know, like some sort of magic wand. It doesn't exist. And I'm going, no, it does. It doesn't it's and it's basic. It starts from childhood and you carry it with you. It doesn't change.
What changes is your ability to understand and how to process things, which is important for your mental health and and for everybody's concerned. So ⁓ again too, like I I've I've lost this page where where ⁓ I was talking about this ⁓ yeah, here we go. Was it number three? ⁓
Number four. This is exactly why boys grow up believing their worth depends on winning, achieving, controlling, and never appearing weak. This creates men who struggle to rest for help, struggle to cry or feel good enough unless they're proving themselves. So this system that hurts women also asks men to abandon parts of their own humanity in order to belong.
And and that's the reality of it. Like even ⁓ to the amount of men that die sooner than women, you know, like I've warned my own brothers, like, take care of yourselves. But to to appear vulnerable, you know, in a society that that makes it look like they're weak. Number five, if equality feels like a loss, then it's because you're benefiting from someone else's lack of privilege.
The system built on inequal inequal power always rewards one group with advantages that another group pays for. Men's authority and power have come at an expense of women's freedom, autonomy, and safety, and they continue to experience discrimination and violence. And and that's the whole point too when it comes to recipro reciprocity.
is like when like somebody said, Well hurt people, hurt people. And I'd say, Explain. Well, you know, especially when you're grifted by white women and you're a woman of color and they c you know, because they've been hurting. But they they, you know, but doing that to like hurt people, hurt people. Like I'm tired of being hurt. ⁓ number six.
We have to stop saying, well, I'm one of the good men and use it as reason to do nothing. This just keeps your attention on yourself. We have to be self-accountable to the ways we move through the world. Are we enforcing a system rooted in control or inequal unequal power? Or are we creating more relevance and equality for women around us? The world will change when enough men come
care more about dismantling the blueprint instead of protecting their plain place within it. So so yes, the the ⁓ the narcissism, the Machiavellian, the coercive control, men cheating and and using that type of coercive control over their wives. And you know, I think ⁓ sometimes when women don't have community or women haven't had the the ability from childhood, teenage
throughout their whole life. Not not just when it's time for them to have children and then, you know, go to ⁓ what school meetings and stuff with other women. I I'm talking about community from the time you're born until the time you die. And and I think white women in general don't have that. Whereas indigenous women, and I'm only saying this in my opinion because I'm I live in Western Canada.
and I've grown up seeing it and I I've seen it in my community when this group of young women have come together to support each other against Nathan Chasing horse. These things a lot of women
a lot of white women who live in urban areas don't have from childhood, teenage, ⁓ young adult, middle life, all the way. And then all of a sudden when you become a pensioner and you're forced to go into a nursing home, you're you're like you're fighting to breathe. You're fighting f to have some sort of autonomy and and you're afraid. Like like that the one lady she d she the face that she she like her face just wrinkled all up when she was talking about the
these men in the nursing homes like like it like how disgusting it was for her to to be around them. Like and again that's because these men have grown up with this patriarchy. Okay, seven. So where do men begin? I'd say it begins in your own home and in your own relationships. Take an honest look at the ways you might still be playing your part in it. Do the control
Do you control your partner's sexuality? ⁓ accept expect her to carry the emotional labor? Are you defensive when she gives you feedback? Do you dismiss her intuition or assume your opinion carries more weight? How do you speak about women when they are not in the room? What jokes do you laugh at? Do you challenge your mate?
your mates when they objectify and disrespect women, how do you treat your mom, your sisters, your colleague, and the women you meet in public? And and that is my point. I like when I talk to my my relatives and I hear what their sons say to them, or I hear like that they're still enabling their sons
And and I say to them, No, my my nephews, my nieces, like they they don't come around. I said, 'cause they know better. They know better than to come around if they're drinking or drugging. They know that. I said, I d I just don't tolerate it. And and so
That is the whole point when I realize like the older a woman gets and the more she enables the men in her life to have coercive control over her, even though she's the the single breadwinner. It it it just amazes me to know in that these things still happen and but it's the reality and and how how do you deal with it? How do you how does anybody deal with it? So
Again, part of my podcast is is to deconstruct and talk about talk about things that have meant something to me, things that ⁓ I I wish I had known, but again I I spent most of my career profiling dangerous and violent and controlling men.
The first five years of my career at New Scotland Yard were running the sexual offences section, where I had the remit of Pan London to make the links across stranger abduction, rape and murder cases and to help identify the perpetrator. So I'm talking about serial rapists and serial killers, and often when we detected them and arrested them, they had domestic violence in their history, and that always intrigued me.
And I wanted to look at a bigger pool of offenders. So I profiled domestic violence, sexual and serious offenders, 452 of them. And I found that one in twelve of them rate inside the home, they're significant women in their lives, and outside the home, making the links that these dangerous men offend against significant women and those women that they don't know. That's such an important link.
So that it's the misnomer to talk about the stranger rapist or serial killer. And often at that time the offender profile was the off-the-shelf offender profile was that he was age 30 to 40, lived alone or with his mother, he had six inch thick bottle lensed glasses, couldn't interact with women. I blew that profile up because these men did get married and the women reported them.
For violence and controlling behaviour, coercive controlling behaviour, some of the worst things that I've seen, and often the women were being ignored. So we have to make those links. And I wrote up a report called Getting Away with It. Forty offenders are in the back of this report to show you that it was routine. And getting away with it, only two of them had prison sentences. Only two of them out of 452. Many of them were psychopaths, and we know.
The this is the cohort of offenders where we would find psychopaths. Dr. Robert Hare's work from 1993, 25% of domestic violence offenders are psychopaths. The number is far greater, in my opinion, from all the work that I've done. And I've put all of this learning into a risk assessment model called the DASH. The domestic abuse, stalking harassment, and so called honor based violence risk model. It's a long mouthful, which is why we say the DASH. And I run university accredited training.
For everybody now to attend. So if you're a professional working with victims, you absolutely must come on the course. But it's open to everyone because I want to mainstream the learning. Psychopaths are amongst us. They look the same, they're charming, very charming individuals, but they're also very controlling. And I want you to spot those signs. They're coercively controlling. So come on the University Accredited Dash Training. My next class is March the 11th and 12th.
Okay, so again she's promoting herself but the reality of it is is is basic. So if we have white women who are around and have published stuff about white men, then what does it say about other men? And what does it say about like when I lived in Utah as a as a woman of color, I had white roommates and and
And we'd have break ins. And rather than targeting my my other roommates, they would only move my belongings around. I I had been stalked for a year when I was just going to do my job because I was a a minority. So so you take it for what it is. Why is it that there are so many murdered and missing indigenous women? Because there are white men who are doing horrible things to their white women.
within their own homes. So when I talk about my own my own stuff and ⁓ and and I start you know saying things about ⁓ domestic violence and and you know the need to to ⁓ have some sort of dialogue trusting people maneuvering and getting help
through intergenerational trauma, it's because it's it's double. It's double the fold. So you you only have the perspective of white women, but you don't have the the the like like somebody had said something about somebody making a complaint and they said for every complaint there are seven more that did not complain. Okay, so imagine that
If you have white women complaining, imagine the seven more that that indigenous women and women of color have have you know said, Hey, this has happened to me and nobody has paid attention. Because because there are men out there who are in positions of authority and patriarchy who are in enabling this, who are are so enmeshed in in this coercive control.
And training might and you know that's why even though even though people and women might think, no, it's it's over there. It's not happening it's not happening here. And ⁓ I mean there are other there are other ⁓ parts of what is the malicious syndrome? There there are other like podcasts that I that
have have talked about stuff and there was there was one about coercive control and I don't know if if I've got it here. ⁓ I'm just trying to find it. is it? Because a tactile after the revolution I don't know my I don't I hope that we Are you still sorry about that. Otto it is a f this is up our father and Sidland. No, can't find it.
But it has to do with coercive control. And the reason I'm saying this is like like I said, hurt people, hurt people. And ⁓ there was a book on ⁓ by women of color talking about not trusting white women. And and that's the scary part of it. And I think it's the scary part for white women to sort of settle in and digest it because because that that in itself like I I had an acquaintance
she's an acquaintance now because she's ghosted me, ⁓ at sixty-five, decided to go back after being in the ⁓ art community, decide to go back and get her master's so she could be a therapist at sixty five. ⁓ the reality of it is like ⁓ and not just her, there I know another indigenous woman, sixty five too, is going back to become a counselor. And and that's their, you know, if they're empowering themselves, fine.
But the reality of it is that ⁓ coercive control
When when you're doing it at a because it's such a easy thing to slip into and and you're you're you're you don't even realize that you're projecting it onto to me, like a a a woman of like a minority who, you know, my whole life I've I've protected myself and I tried continuously to protect myself over people who want to control me. Coercive control. ⁓
Like I there was one when I was talking to my niece, I said to her, you know, a studies prove that if you work on something for and put in ten thousand hours you become a master at it. So so that's why when I talk about coercive control and my protecting myself and keeping myself in a safe place, like my energy, that's fifty years. Fifty years of of of doing this and having people ⁓ try to
labeled me or to put me in a you know put put me in a place where they feel comfortable. And and I'm going, no, I'm I'm telling the truth here. I I'm I'm I'm maneuvering through my life trying to understand why people treat me the way they treat me. And and for me the aha moment or the epiphany was that, you know, I think like hurt people hurt people. And and again it when I try to talk about matriarchy to white women
They say, I've read it, or I'm, you know, I'm really sorry that ⁓ my people did this to your people. Like analogies like that, and I'm going, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. You have to be born into matriarchy. So when I talk about my community and Western Canada and indigenous people, especially in Alberta, like I wish the hell w people would understand matriarchy.
and and and what it is that indigenous people in western Canada have. That that the whole world has been fighting for what couple of thousand years in in overseas with the Romans and the Spartans and all that. And here we are in Western Canada holding on for dear life to the very essence of matriarchy and saying, look, this is who we are as women.
And this is what women of the world are trying to do. And there are very isolated places around the world that are in the same situation as Alberta. But the point of it is like you've got to wake up. This whole patriarchy and and how destructive and coercive it is in just pr promoting and creating a delusion for our children. Like the fellow said, you know, look at all that's being done.
just just to the propaganda against women. Like when I took a j gender studies course and the the the English words slut, whore, prost like bugger, like there there's only four word like for certain words that describe men, like bugger. Bitch, slut, you name it, there are more derogatory terms for females. And and so like what is the reality of it? W what what is happening?
I I really think I really think creator, grandmothers and grandfathers, for what if people don't want to believe and they don't think these things have meaning. I I look at the historical aspect of what I know and I know what a lot of other indigenous people know, and I know their creator and the grandfathers and grandmothers will is being done. If we cannot just accept it
When I have people that have come into my life, very intimate people, that I've had to release, and it's not my doing. It's creator and the grandfathers and grandmothers guiding all this. I accept it. I let it go. And I'm grateful for what I've learned. But the reality of it is like I think people who have been in positions of power in patriarchy, both male and female.
really need to look at themselves and and think, am I am I ⁓ am I ⁓ exhibiting coercive control? Am I doing this to someone who I don't understand their culture, their values and beliefs? Am I doing this? Things that you've got to think about, and I hope that sort of digests into your system today because, you know, it's a very important thing. Because a
Coercive control when you see it and you wonder, you know, why do men ⁓ why do women put up with men who cheat on them? Why why you know, w what's happening here? Coercive control and again, what is the what is the result of enabling for decades like staying in a relationship like that? Or or for that matter, if you're the woman who's having an affair, why why are you being
Why are you participating in this coercive control? All these things, even though you think it does not affect anybody else but you, you're wrong. The ripple effect reaches down to the very innocent, the very vulnerable.
Have a good day and ⁓ we'll talk to you later.
⁓ good morning again. I'm sorry. This technology sort of really boggles my mind. I'm gonna join edit when I go back, but ⁓ anyway it's August seventeenth. And I g I had something that was about the separatist and stuff, but I'm gonna play this and this is Stella's Stella World S T E L L period W O O R L L D and it's America
America has a culture a culture problem. And ⁓ S H A H I D Bolson B O L S E N is asking the question most people would rather avoid. In in this interview, Bolson points the pornography only fans celebrity scandals, cosmic and body enhanced culture, sexual violence
And the increasingly early exposure of children to sexualized content. His argument is deliberately provocative when an entire culture normalizes sexuality while children are exposed to it younger and younger. Where do we draw the line between entertainment and exploitation and grooming? Some of the statistics cited in this interview are claimed that should be independently verified, but the larger question is difficult to dismiss.
what happens to a society when sexualization becomes so normalized that we stop questioning it. And and and I think that like the whole premise of my talking about healthy human sexuality i is in terms of childhood development, in talking about my own life, I I'm an elder now and and the progress of technology or even the progress of civilization, like I in my childhood childhood I ate rabbit for breakfast.
I'd get up like with my father and my older brother, five, six, seven year olds, going down the the line and picking up rabbits so we could bring it home so my mother could cook. We'd skin them and clean them and then my mother would cook them. That happened until like I was around twelve, and I think around that time ⁓ we got ⁓ electricity in our old little shack. All th these things looking at like, that was poverty, and I'm going, No, I'm trying to establish what
co ⁓ progress is because even ⁓ by all biologically and things that were happening in terms of my own child development, I I think a lot of people have assumed like, you know, when they're doing ⁓ analysis, especially with early childhood, they're they're they're taking the sample from from children who have been urbanized, who've been, you know, around in neighborhoods and in the same, you know, community that close.
Whereas no, for me, like I saw my first white person when I was five. And then even when I was thirty and I worked up north in northern Alberta, I met a lady who had seen her first white person when she was eighteen. So so when I talk about systemic racism in, say, Ontario and Quebec, they've had that experience for at least a hundred years more than Western Canada. So a lot of the things that I do talk about in terms of the like what what I said in terms of
desensitization and and what it is to to what it what is healthy human sexuality. And and the question of it is like you have to really think because either you're a grandmother or a parent or you're an actual person who's watching using your your iPad or going in through social media. The reality of it is I I'll use an example. When I s I I studied some computer programming and the instructor said, you know it's one thing and again this
This was a time when we didn't have apps like the size of the of an iPhone. And he said he said, ⁓ you know, all you have to do is get into the app, learn how to maneuver within the app, and then come out of the app and you know it. But the analogy too is like it's like a typewriter. You know, you have the typewriter, you have the keys and you punch the keys and you're supposed to write an essay. Okay, but you yourself have to put the words in and you're c constructing the essay.
And and that's the thing about software and technology and artificial intelligence is that when you don't have the capacity to even understand sentence structure or grammar and your typing, it doesn't make any sense. Cause you you're you're just tight tight as typing gobbledygook. So that's why I'm saying when it comes to critical thinking, especially when it comes to the desensitization of human sexuality, it's important to really be critical.
At the same time too, when I was studying in Utah, I had a instructor with a PhD in chemistry. And one of his assignments ⁓ was to develop a motherboard the size of a thumbnail. Now lo and behold, all of a sudden, Abercadabra, we have the iPhone. See, those things were were being established and were were being documented. At the same time too, they were talking about ⁓ the underground, like the nuclear subs that went into the deep ocean.
And the things that they were discovering in the deep ocean were the ton tonnage, the pressure of the water on certain objects at a very low, at a deep, deep depth, that eventually it'll come to the surface and come into our school curriculum. So a lot of these things that are happening in terms of artificial intelligence as well is that the critical thinking skills of of children is important because the reality of it is what is fantasy and what is delusional.
What is an illusion? What is actual real science? And and to to do the real science, you really have to use your muscle, that brain, and and realize like I really have to learn how to physically take a pen in my hand and write an essay or a sentence. My name is Marina. Look, look, run, run. Really, we with artificial intelligence, we have to approach it this way.
But if we're gonna stay in the preliminary preschool stage of it because because of our our our our we're like this flight and fright response of our brain, we really have to understand our own brain chemistry and how we're going to develop it, as well as like take charge of it, because we're only we're only as skilled as what we put into the machinery. And if all we're feeding it is gobbledygook,
then that's all that's there's going to be. So so that's why like you look at all this stuff that comes out with these bots that come into ⁓ any any space. So some of the excerpts that I have, I'm I'm hoping that you'd listen to them. ⁓ there are there are some really keen things that I think are important and beneficial to to women and men as well if they l do listen. So again this fellow ⁓
Again his A S H A H I D his last name is B O L S E N. I I will play it and it's the handle in social media that you can find it is on Stell World. S T E L L dot world.
Someone from the country that gave us Jeffrey Epstein, gave us Diddy, gave us OnlyFans, gave us Barbie, the country that ranks the highest in the production and the consumption of pornography, a country where ⁓ 1,500 women are murdered every year in so-called domestic violence, where homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women, where 24 women per minute in your country are victims of ⁓ sexual assault or some form of physical violence or stalking.
That's over 12 million women per year. You know? Over over a third of the women in your country are clinically depressed. And good night, how could they not be? Over half of all adult men between the ages of 18 and 45 have OnlyFans subscriptions. And almost two million of your women are selling themselves on that platform. It's dystopian. ⁓
that their bodies are the source of their self-worth, are the are the are the source of their value in your society. And that those bodies have to conform to a very rigid ⁓ pornographic cartoonish male fantasy criteria. I mean you've gone so far in defining women by their body parts that if a man gets those same body parts surgically manufactured and fastened to himself, then you'll make him woman of the year.
Did you know that the average age ⁓ of first exposure to pornography in your country, in the United States, is 11? 11. It means you start training your boys on degrading and objectifying and sexually abusing women before they even reach puberty. I'm telling you, your whole society is a grooming gang. It's just one giant grooming gang. Not to mention the vile and the vulgar language that you use about women, the derogatory words you use about women, the names you call them.
And you normalize this kind of d denigration of women to such an extent that women themselves have even started to use it about themselves. Your whole pop culture is a full frontal assault on the dignity and the honor of women. I mean so fr So again, like I I I tried to start this podcast and then I
something happens and then I restart it again. But the reality of it is during my podcast I've talked about the conquistadors and and then I've talked about ⁓ black women and slavery and just the whole nature of plantations that were breeding farms and then the whole ⁓ reality of like why weren't Native Americans enslaved like they did with the black.
And and I and I look and I'm saying, look, understand this. Genetically we were isolated for thousands, like ten, twenty thousand years from the rest of the world. The rest of the world whose whose whose society was in dealing with livestock, domesticating animals, you know, and and and being around animals where these animals were ⁓ like
the whole disease of what was happening, what what what like we'll say what happened overseas in terms of all the diseases that that were
Like just that in itself and bringing it into the Americas and the la Mylar detection in South America and other places where they see these civilizations that that ⁓ have o overgrown like the forest, the jungles. Not not only that too, but civilization has tr has silenced ⁓ indigenous voice. So like with my podcast as an indigenous woman ⁓ an elder, I like I'm talking about
the context of growing up in Western society and the lack of curriculum, like the the lack of understanding of exactly who we are. Like the Oshati Shakoi, the seven council fires of the Sioux Nation, our blood type is O. We are universal donors. The first 500 the first 100 years when the Portuguese, Dutch, Spanish, English, and French came.
for the first one hundred years they killed five generations of our children. That's that's over a hundred and twenty five million killed through disease, warfare, torture. Like when I say the the most
⁓ horrific were like the Portuguese and Dutch. I mean a lot of people talk about the Spaniards too and how cruel the conquistadors were. Then there's also the English and then the French. So all this systemic structure of of ⁓ conquer and divide and you know take and and under the guise of a a flag or or some sort of symbol that represents, you know, something divine.
when the reality of it is like the indigenous people were hunters and gatherers.
And our our rituals and ceremonies that were handed down for not just a thousand years, we're talking twenty to ten thousand years. Some of the things that have been scheduled, have not scheduled, that have been documented in terms of civilization are are long before the pyramids. The the hypothetical theories of exactly what science can map and what they can see now is is the reality of so much was taken and so much was
was hidden. Like even you look at you look at the produce, go into your fridge and and check which which fruits and vegetables, like tomatoes, potatoes, like there 70% of all vegetables were cultivated in the Americas. So what makes America great? The indigenous people. And our culture and and our attitude towards towards how we're not above you know the we're we're related to all living things.
And yet and yet here's a European saying, no, we're we're we're we're not related to anybody. We're we are our own identity. We're individualistic. Which which is is led to all this. And I ⁓ the the reality, like I said, with women, and and this is why I'm I'm so critical on white women, is is because there there is a tipping point.
Where where now all of a sudden you're you're you're being fragmented, your your your your what they call your fragile because for centuries, like the last five hundred years, you've been put up on a pedestal. You haven't had to be bred bred in plantations for your babies. You haven't had your babies pulled from you because you don't have sovereignty over your own children. Like in twenty twenty six, Bill S six three or six two
in Parliament is trying to be passed to change the Indian Act so indigenous people have sovereignty over our children. So we can have group homes, group shelters, we can have our babies, our children staying in our communities, in First Nations, anyway, in Metis communities.
rather than being shipped off into the city of Calgary, Edmonton, you or the province or another province. I mean, even in the fifties and sixties, they were sending indigenous children all over the world. You could buy a child for five bucks, an indigenous child. So you you tell me what privilege is and and how fragile white women are today, realizing like, my goodness, my children, my seven generations of children.
Look at look at what happens. Like you're it's almost like you're being cornered. You're cornered, and that's why white supremacy is like, my goodness, we gotta stop this. We gotta stop this encroachment. Because the reality of it is like look at what you've done. All all for the sake of what? Whiteness or or like fragility? There there's a there's a tape, there there is a video that really strikes home because the reality of
If if I can find this here. The reality of ⁓ some of these some of some of the psychology that that I think some people tend to forget. So what happens when a target of coercive control finally tells somebody? Well, the coercive controller has spent years camouflaged to appear credible to the very people that they approach for help.
Some So again when I talk about a lot of this stuff with coercive control it it it has it has its moments in the in the sense that I think a lot of times Here's what the research actually shows you of ⁓ There's a lot of stuff that I wanted to put out there but
I'll shut this off because ⁓ I I wanna read this aloud about patriarchy. Seven things I wish I wish more men knew about patriarchy and I wish I'd known sooner.
One, patriarchy is a system of inequality where men hold more authority and power. The moment we hear the word, many of us feel defensive, which makes it hard to have an honest conversation. Patriarchy exists before any one of us was born and continues because generations inherited without questioning it. It didn't create it, it
But I absolutely participated in it. So do you know? Once we understand this, we can stop defending ourselves and begin to examine the system and how it affects us all. This is from ⁓ TikTok Nathan.sol.au stn. ⁓
Number two, women have paid the highest price under patriarchy. In a culture that values men more than women, women lose. They lose safety, freedom, opportunity, their voices, and their power. We see this in the deport disproportionate rate of domestic abuse, sexual violence, coercive control, and forced marriage experienced by women and girls across the world since patriarchy gives men more power, dismantling much.
be over must be our responsibility. So when I when I talk about limerence and I talk about coercive control and I talk about intergenerational trauma and I and I and I use the the the metaphor of white women because because it's it's the white women who who s who had these abusive men. ⁓ It's white women who started going to other women for therapy and they started forming groups like AA but it was called for limerence because
even though the husbands had a addictions and they were abusive and you know killing them, they they realized as women they were the ones who were freely participating because they had bonded, they had a trauma bond to their white husbands. And so in in in establishing limerance support groups, they were able to ⁓ debrief
create nar narrative in a safe space and and guided through guided imagery we're able to eliminate some of this self-defeating rhetoric that they've created in the in their biology. And and so I I use that as an example because like who who else is who else is going to be you know vocalizing and saying, look at me.
You know, much of much of society looks at white women in terms of the beauty standards and and cosmetics and all this stuff. And and yet at the same time, they're women. And and that's why I think it's so fragile now. They're so such in a fragile state that that they d they don't even know that they're also practicing coercive control to women of color.
Number three, and that's just my opinion. Number three. Probably the cleverest thing patriarchy ever did was convince us that masculinity is a default setting for humanity. It taught us that leadership, authority, and power are masculine and therefore worth of admiration. At the time, empathy, cooperation, vulnerability, and care were dismissed as feminine and therefore weak, so we cut ourselves off from half of who we are.
again, you know, the reality too is like when you know, even in case studies, I I remember going into the library at Brigham Young University and there was a caged ⁓ locked up section and in that section they there were there were books that were were showing the anatomy of Native Americans who who were hermaphrodites, who, you know, had ⁓ again, the Sioux people had three gender types. A lot of this pseudo hermaphrodites and hermaphrodites
the highest rate and concentration of hermaphrodites is in Israel, like in the Middle East. Because when women are bombarded every day of their life with terror and just extreme violence, it does something to to the oxytocin, you know, like or or it increases the dopamine, which is opposite of what women's health needs. And because of that, children are born
prem like not premature in the sense of like not fully developed, but it's their their brain, the amygdala or what you know, just the whole nature of biology. So they're the first two weeks of every f male, a mammal is female. So understand the bombardment of the exterior environment having on women that are constantly in battle mode. And and so the babies are born and then and as they grow up they start, you know
develop like either they're born with two sexes or they're they slowly develop ⁓ when they reach puberty. Like all that has been in theory of like is it environmental or is it nurture versus nature? But but that's a case study and it it's been studied stuff like this has been studied by by by people. Now, again,
when we're talking about nurturing and the like I said, when when they looked at Native Americans and they saw that we had three gender types, they thought we were savages. But we but everyone had a role. Everyone th was there was a a a a ritual or ceremony. And I think a lot of humanity we've gone away from it. And sometimes I think for white women, my opinion, they've gone a bit too far.
Because what do they do? They marry our indigenous men and then they start mansplaying to people like myself what what I should do as an indigenous woman and how I should carry on ceremony and ritual. Like when we talk about coercive control, I I kid you not.
If if I could sit a white woman down and say, Look, this is what you're doing, do you do you know what you're doing? Because, you know, apparently it it's a form of escapism or or some something that they're projecting on the reality of exactly what they're facing. Because, you know, by the time you become a senior citizen and and you have nobody and you you're only you're forced to go into a nursing home and you're surrounded by by horny old white men who you know come creeping along the corridor.
Or
sit looking into your room, and you're totally disgusted because you're you're not interested. Yet, you know, during the pandemic, there was the highest ⁓
rate of sexually transmitted diseases. So so when I do talk about healthy human sexuality, I talk about it because it's important. It's a part of life. And for some unknown reason, young people think that when you get older it's done, you know, like some sort of magic wand. It doesn't exist. And I'm going, no, it does. It doesn't it's and it's basic. It starts from childhood and you carry it with you. It doesn't change.
What changes is your ability to understand and how to process things, which is important for your mental health and and for everybody's concerned. So ⁓ again too, like I I've I've lost this page where where ⁓ I was talking about this ⁓ yeah, here we go. Was it number three? ⁓
Number four. This is exactly why boys grow up believing their worth depends on winning, achieving, controlling, and never appearing weak. This creates men who struggle to rest for help, struggle to cry or feel good enough unless they're proving themselves. So this system that hurts women also asks men to abandon parts of their own humanity in order to belong.
And and that's the reality of it. Like even ⁓ to the amount of men that die sooner than women, you know, like I've warned my own brothers, like, take care of yourselves. But to to appear vulnerable, you know, in a society that that makes it look like they're weak. Number five, if equality feels like a loss, then it's because you're benefiting from someone else's lack of privilege.
The system built on inequal inequal power always rewards one group with advantages that another group pays for. Men's authority and power have come at an expense of women's freedom, autonomy, and safety, and they continue to experience discrimination and violence. And and that's the whole point too when it comes to recipro reciprocity.
is like when like somebody said, Well hurt people, hurt people. And I'd say, Explain. Well, you know, especially when you're grifted by white women and you're a woman of color and they c you know, because they've been hurting. But they they, you know, but doing that to like hurt people, hurt people. Like I'm tired of being hurt. ⁓ number six.
We have to stop saying, well, I'm one of the good men and use it as reason to do nothing. This just keeps your attention on yourself. We have to be self-accountable to the ways we move through the world. Are we enforcing a system rooted in control or inequal unequal power? Or are we creating more relevance and equality for women around us? The world will change when enough men come
care more about dismantling the blueprint instead of protecting their plain place within it. So so yes, the the ⁓ the narcissism, the Machiavellian, the coercive control, men cheating and and using that type of coercive control over their wives. And you know, I think ⁓ sometimes when women don't have community or women haven't had the the ability from childhood, teenage
throughout their whole life. Not not just when it's time for them to have children and then, you know, go to ⁓ what school meetings and stuff with other women. I I'm talking about community from the time you're born until the time you die. And and I think white women in general don't have that. Whereas indigenous women, and I'm only saying this in my opinion because I'm I live in Western Canada.
and I've grown up seeing it and I I've seen it in my community when this group of young women have come together to support each other against Nathan Chasing horse. These things a lot of women
a lot of white women who live in urban areas don't have from childhood, teenage, ⁓ young adult, middle life, all the way. And then all of a sudden when you become a pensioner and you're forced to go into a nursing home, you're you're like you're fighting to breathe. You're fighting f to have some sort of autonomy and and you're afraid. Like like that the one lady she d she the face that she she like her face just wrinkled all up when she was talking about the
these men in the nursing homes like like it like how disgusting it was for her to to be around them. Like and again that's because these men have grown up with this patriarchy. Okay, seven. So where do men begin? I'd say it begins in your own home and in your own relationships. Take an honest look at the ways you might still be playing your part in it. Do the control
Do you control your partner's sexuality? ⁓ accept expect her to carry the emotional labor? Are you defensive when she gives you feedback? Do you dismiss her intuition or assume your opinion carries more weight? How do you speak about women when they are not in the room? What jokes do you laugh at? Do you challenge your mate?
your mates when they objectify and disrespect women, how do you treat your mom, your sisters, your colleague, and the women you meet in public? And and that is my point. I like when I talk to my my relatives and I hear what their sons say to them, or I hear like that they're still enabling their sons
And and I say to them, No, my my nephews, my nieces, like they they don't come around. I said, 'cause they know better. They know better than to come around if they're drinking or drugging. They know that. I said, I d I just don't tolerate it. And and so
That is the whole point when I realize like the older a woman gets and the more she enables the men in her life to have coercive control over her, even though she's the the single breadwinner. It it it just amazes me to know in that these things still happen and but it's the reality and and how how do you deal with it? How do you how does anybody deal with it? So
Again, part of my podcast is is to deconstruct and talk about talk about things that have meant something to me, things that ⁓ I I wish I had known, but again I I spent most of my career profiling dangerous and violent and controlling men.
The first five years of my career at New Scotland Yard were running the sexual offences section, where I had the remit of Pan London to make the links across stranger abduction, rape and murder cases and to help identify the perpetrator. So I'm talking about serial rapists and serial killers, and often when we detected them and arrested them, they had domestic violence in their history, and that always intrigued me.
And I wanted to look at a bigger pool of offenders. So I profiled domestic violence, sexual and serious offenders, 452 of them. And I found that one in twelve of them rate inside the home, they're significant women in their lives, and outside the home, making the links that these dangerous men offend against significant women and those women that they don't know. That's such an important link.
So that it's the misnomer to talk about the stranger rapist or serial killer. And often at that time the offender profile was the off-the-shelf offender profile was that he was age 30 to 40, lived alone or with his mother, he had six inch thick bottle lensed glasses, couldn't interact with women. I blew that profile up because these men did get married and the women reported them.
For violence and controlling behaviour, coercive controlling behaviour, some of the worst things that I've seen, and often the women were being ignored. So we have to make those links. And I wrote up a report called Getting Away with It. Forty offenders are in the back of this report to show you that it was routine. And getting away with it, only two of them had prison sentences. Only two of them out of 452. Many of them were psychopaths, and we know.
The this is the cohort of offenders where we would find psychopaths. Dr. Robert Hare's work from 1993, 25% of domestic violence offenders are psychopaths. The number is far greater, in my opinion, from all the work that I've done. And I've put all of this learning into a risk assessment model called the DASH. The domestic abuse, stalking harassment, and so called honor based violence risk model. It's a long mouthful, which is why we say the DASH. And I run university accredited training.
For everybody now to attend. So if you're a professional working with victims, you absolutely must come on the course. But it's open to everyone because I want to mainstream the learning. Psychopaths are amongst us. They look the same, they're charming, very charming individuals, but they're also very controlling. And I want you to spot those signs. They're coercively controlling. So come on the University Accredited Dash Training. My next class is March the 11th and 12th.
Okay, so again she's promoting herself but the reality of it is is is basic. So if we have white women who are around and have published stuff about white men, then what does it say about other men? And what does it say about like when I lived in Utah as a as a woman of color, I had white roommates and and
And we'd have break ins. And rather than targeting my my other roommates, they would only move my belongings around. I I had been stalked for a year when I was just going to do my job because I was a a minority. So so you take it for what it is. Why is it that there are so many murdered and missing indigenous women? Because there are white men who are doing horrible things to their white women.
within their own homes. So when I talk about my own my own stuff and ⁓ and and I start you know saying things about ⁓ domestic violence and and you know the need to to ⁓ have some sort of dialogue trusting people maneuvering and getting help
through intergenerational trauma, it's because it's it's double. It's double the fold. So you you only have the perspective of white women, but you don't have the the the like like somebody had said something about somebody making a complaint and they said for every complaint there are seven more that did not complain. Okay, so imagine that
If you have white women complaining, imagine the seven more that that indigenous women and women of color have have you know said, Hey, this has happened to me and nobody has paid attention. Because because there are men out there who are in positions of authority and patriarchy who are in enabling this, who are are so enmeshed in in this coercive control.
And training might and you know that's why even though even though people and women might think, no, it's it's over there. It's not happening it's not happening here. And ⁓ I mean there are other there are other ⁓ parts of what is the malicious syndrome? There there are other like podcasts that I that
have have talked about stuff and there was there was one about coercive control and I don't know if if I've got it here. ⁓ I'm just trying to find it. is it? Because a tactile after the revolution I don't know my I don't I hope that we Are you still sorry about that. Otto it is a f this is up our father and Sidland. No, can't find it.
But it has to do with coercive control. And the reason I'm saying this is like like I said, hurt people, hurt people. And ⁓ there was a book on ⁓ by women of color talking about not trusting white women. And and that's the scary part of it. And I think it's the scary part for white women to sort of settle in and digest it because because that that in itself like I I had an acquaintance
she's an acquaintance now because she's ghosted me, ⁓ at sixty-five, decided to go back after being in the ⁓ art community, decide to go back and get her master's so she could be a therapist at sixty five. ⁓ the reality of it is like ⁓ and not just her, there I know another indigenous woman, sixty five too, is going back to become a counselor. And and that's their, you know, if they're empowering themselves, fine.
But the reality of it is that ⁓ coercive control
When when you're doing it at a because it's such a easy thing to slip into and and you're you're you're you don't even realize that you're projecting it onto to me, like a a a woman of like a minority who, you know, my whole life I've I've protected myself and I tried continuously to protect myself over people who want to control me. Coercive control. ⁓
Like I there was one when I was talking to my niece, I said to her, you know, a studies prove that if you work on something for and put in ten thousand hours you become a master at it. So so that's why when I talk about coercive control and my protecting myself and keeping myself in a safe place, like my energy, that's fifty years. Fifty years of of of doing this and having people ⁓ try to
labeled me or to put me in a you know put put me in a place where they feel comfortable. And and I'm going, no, I'm I'm telling the truth here. I I'm I'm I'm maneuvering through my life trying to understand why people treat me the way they treat me. And and for me the aha moment or the epiphany was that, you know, I think like hurt people hurt people. And and again it when I try to talk about matriarchy to white women
They say, I've read it, or I'm, you know, I'm really sorry that ⁓ my people did this to your people. Like analogies like that, and I'm going, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. You have to be born into matriarchy. So when I talk about my community and Western Canada and indigenous people, especially in Alberta, like I wish the hell w people would understand matriarchy.
and and and what it is that indigenous people in western Canada have. That that the whole world has been fighting for what couple of thousand years in in overseas with the Romans and the Spartans and all that. And here we are in Western Canada holding on for dear life to the very essence of matriarchy and saying, look, this is who we are as women.
And this is what women of the world are trying to do. And there are very isolated places around the world that are in the same situation as Alberta. But the point of it is like you've got to wake up. This whole patriarchy and and how destructive and coercive it is in just pr promoting and creating a delusion for our children. Like the fellow said, you know, look at all that's being done.
just just to the propaganda against women. Like when I took a j gender studies course and the the the English words slut, whore, prost like bugger, like there there's only four word like for certain words that describe men, like bugger. Bitch, slut, you name it, there are more derogatory terms for females. And and so like what is the reality of it? W what what is happening?
I I really think I really think creator, grandmothers and grandfathers, for what if people don't want to believe and they don't think these things have meaning. I I look at the historical aspect of what I know and I know what a lot of other indigenous people know, and I know their creator and the grandfathers and grandmothers will is being done. If we cannot just accept it
When I have people that have come into my life, very intimate people, that I've had to release, and it's not my doing. It's creator and the grandfathers and grandmothers guiding all this. I accept it. I let it go. And I'm grateful for what I've learned. But the reality of it is like I think people who have been in positions of power in patriarchy, both male and female.
really need to look at themselves and and think, am I am I ⁓ am I ⁓ exhibiting coercive control? Am I doing this to someone who I don't understand their culture, their values and beliefs? Am I doing this? Things that you've got to think about, and I hope that sort of digests into your system today because, you know, it's a very important thing. Because a
Coercive control when you see it and you wonder, you know, why do men ⁓ why do women put up with men who cheat on them? Why why you know, w what's happening here? Coercive control and again, what is the what is the result of enabling for decades like staying in a relationship like that? Or or for that matter, if you're the woman who's having an affair, why why are you being
Why are you participating in this coercive control? All these things, even though you think it does not affect anybody else but you, you're wrong. The ripple effect reaches down to the very innocent, the very vulnerable.
Have a good day and ⁓ we'll talk to you later.
No comments:
Post a Comment