Plastic Medicine People title

That's what the title of my blog is and for the longest time, I wonder if this was an appropriate title. As I've done my research on the matter of how society in general treats indigenous girls and indigenous women, I've also realized to that the side effects are seen within our indigenous men. I had four brothers. Each with their having their own set of fault like we all do; however, each coped with them differently.

About a week ago, I was talking with an indigenous lady who works in the hospitality industry. We got into a discuss about attitudes indigenous men have over us indigenous women. As you see for decades it was fine for an indigenous man to marry a non-indigenous woman whilst his sister was discriminated against if she were to marry a non-indigenous man. Yes! This was the plan of the formal document called the "Indian Act." It gave way to so many negative attitudes towards indigenous women that we as indigenous women are writing about its effects on us. I mean literally writing a thesis. 

I'm digesting somewhat cause this is old news for some and yet for some of my readers the silencing or the attempts to "tame" our indigenous female sexuality as gone on with a culture of silence towards sexual assaults. In recent days I've read some very humbling comments from young indigenous men who apology for not saying anything knowing that someone was being silenced. We see it all the time and I think for some indigenous men who work with indigenous single moms. They get tired of their stories of abuse and barriers.

I sometimes think that the more and more women talk about their lives that harder it is for our indigenous men to cope. Sometimes I get the feeling that they just want to burying everything. Yet, as I've mentioned, it's we as indigenous women who reveal our personality disorders more. I believe its because as indigenous women who are moms, its a way of surviving. It's not to say that its a bad thing, it just means that for some indigenous women rather than talking they continue to remain silent.

As for the men, I find that they find themselves feeling guilty for not supporting their sisters. Or, that the support they give their sisters is all that they can do because their wives have greater emotional problems. So, what does this mean for the indigenous man. Well, from what my friend told me. She see indigenous men whom she's known throughout her life change. She said that they come to her hotel in fancy cars with their non-indigenous woman as if she's a prize to behold. All the while she is smiling he has an indigenous woman on the side as his mistress.

Another female friend says to me that through her years working along side indigenous men she's seen them become successful yet very lonely men. She says that they are missing something. She believes its a childhood trauma that has gone on unresolved. And, rightfully so, as indigenous women we can not afford to hide our trauma because our children are depending on us to get it right. In fact, our whole society is depending on us to get it right. Then, why are we losing so many of our sisters to family violence or just violence in a time of peace is an unanswered question.

I will be interviewing three indigenous women who all have a place within my home community. They have a direct connection to the very heart and soul of our community. I hope that within these interviews you will get a sense of purpose that each one of these ladies has. I am very fortunate to know the matriarch of their family and will start of with her explaining the "woman's tall feather hat."

From this I will establish a YouTube link to my account where I will post these interview along with a "woman's song." I feel that its important to focus on the positive things we as indigenous women do for our communities. For too long our indigenous men, not all have played the "plastic medicine man" role. This trend needs to stop by first identifying what the abuse is that these men are practicing.

It's difficult because as human beings we tend to walk into danger rather than listen to our own minds with thoughts telling us there is danger.
 

Child Brides

From GIRLSNOTBRIDES.ORG

"20,000 girls are forced into marriage everyday. It's a common practice around the world; however, non-profit organizations are trying to educate people in third world countries about this form of child abuse.

Get this 1/3 of girls in developing countries are married before they are 18 years old. These children:

1. forced to drop out of school
2. experience domestic violence

West and Central Africa have the highest rate of child marriage:

1. 1.7 million child brides per year

It's a severe violation of human rights. It's one of the worst forms of child abuse.

Its due to these factors:

1. poverty
2. illiteracy
3. social norms
4. traditional norms

The health Factors:

1. Pregnancy is one of the leading causes of death for girls ages 15 to 19.

This practice is common in the United States

• 27 States have no minimum age for marriage
• girls as young as 12 can be brides often to men who are decades older than they are

Nepal banned such practice 50 years ago but 30% of underage girls continue to get married illegally.

Indiah this practice still continues in rural communities despite it being made illegal in 2006.

Ending child marriage is very important because one are girls maximize their full potential and contribute towards national development or towards sustainable development goals."

Historically, there are factors that come into play with the deep psychological abuse that indigenous women endeared in these Indian Residential Schools. At the beginning, I thought I would request a list of students who attended St. Dunstan's Industrial School in Calgary. I contacted (National Centre for Truth and Reconciliation) nactr@umanitoba.ca. They emailed me back saying that Industrial Schools did not fall under Indian Residential Schools; however, there were documents based on another person's research paper that stated these Industrial School were basically setup of indigenous boys.

Basically, the Canadian government created the Indian Act to justify killing off the indigenous peoples of Canada. Indigenous women are writing about this Indian Act and its effort to "Tame Indigenous women's sexuality"

Canada and USA

There are two men that are totally different in the sense of how they perceive indigenous women. The differences are that one is Canadian and the other is a United States citizen. So, what is so different with these two men that can change the way our societies treat indigenous women like myself. Well, here goes. A few days ago a woman asked me to focus on this difference. As it show the significance  in how indigenous men create their women, like sisters, aunts, mothers and grandmothers.

In Canada, we've had the Indian Act that was created to establish Indian Residential Schools. As much as politicians say it this very Act that we use to keep the Canadian Government accountable and yet look at the United States. They didn't have an Act to call on their government to systematically kill them off. We, in Canada, had a strong paper that was pull through as a form of legislation. It's probably that whole English attitude of giving that stiff upper lip and cheery oh type of mentality. It's like a protocol. We have this paper that is a form a law that all indigenous people are going to be affected by its ideology.


In the United States they didn't need a strong paper to tell them to kill off the American Indian. they just did; whereas, in Canada we all are so damn prim and proper like Indian Act. And, this is the difference.

When I met a highly educated indigenous man in the United States, he was a full professor. When we met he told me he was consolidating ten of his companies into one, to make things manageable for himself. He'd earned a masters in Engineering and a Masters in Business and a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. Oh yes, he had served in the United State Military before attending University. He had worked within Indigenous Organizations his entire life; however, he never used his indigenous status to acquire any of his wealth. He was a very humble man. He had political connections and helped me get my green card. It was horrible time. I was just fortunate that I could ask him for his help.

He had told me that he was proud to be an indigenous person. He had his status card; however, he said he never used it to get grants or loans. He said he know that there were other indigenous peoples who needed more than him. He wanted me to know that he didn't know what it was like for me being an indigenous woman growing up in a third world community. In the States they call them reservations and here in Canada we call our homes, reserves or First Nations Communities.

Okay, now here the other side of coin. This other guy got his education here in Canada. He joined the RCMP rather than the military like Tom. This other guy after awhile went into law school to become a lawyer. He worked in Ottawa. Both of these men are intelligent. Lets just say they are more intelligent than me; however, there is a difference.

Emotional Intelligence is the difference. One took care of himself both physical and mentally. I mean one would have to live in such a way that you earn a Ph.D. in clinical Psychology. It's a difficult facility to get into little alone graduate with honors. The other fellow, well did the opposite. So why bring up these two very different men into my discussion about attitudes towards indigenous women. Well, here the point. In order for any man willing to use his education or his status to help murdered and missing indigenous women, he must first be able to relate to us.

He must first have genuine pride in being indigenous himself. I've never met any educated indigenous man in Canada whose never lived on a Reserve or First Nations say that he doesn't or can not relate to me. Tom told me. He told me that he couldn't comprehend what it was like for me to live on a Reserve; whereas, this other indigenous man who has never lived within a First Nations community could not even give me any form of genuine pride of being indigenous.

He could not admit he didn't know what it was like for me to grow up within my community and within my culture. He would rather just not even be associated with Canada. He gave up his citizenship. I really can not comprehend what was so difficult for him to admit. He got himself an education and he worked for the Canadian government. I men Tom worked with Ronald Reagan and even baby sat for him. Yet, there is something the matter with our indigenous men in Canada. Our educated indigenous men. I wear my skin everywhere I go in this city.

I see relative drinking their lives away. I am there. I eat breathe and sleep within my First Nations Community. I know what its like to grow up here. From my research, I am seeing how the Canadian government has deliberately put obstacles in our way as indigenous girls and indigenous women.

My mistake with this man from Canada was to think he had it in him to help us indigenous women; however, in order for him to be able to do such a thing. He himself must be able to show compassion and genuine pride in being indigenous. My friend Tom, he's the most humble man I've met and I know there are many out there who've added indirectly to the general public about what it is to be indigenous. In a positive affirmative way in helping us all move forward.

This Indian Act not only is a law and continues to be a law that spread a negative or perpetuates a negative stereotype about indigenous women. It's people a paper to use as a racist tool. It justifies an attitude that it okay to behave a certain way to us indigenous women. Whereas, in the United States, like I said they didn't have a paper. They just killed for the sake of killing and used their amendments rights to kill Indigenous people. We in Canada are not different. In fact, I think we are more barbaric in how we treat our women than they are in the United States.

I just wanted to put this out there. There are reasons why there are so many murdered and missing indigenous girls and women. There are reasons why the inquiry isn't going as quickly as it could and there are reasons why we keep putting people in these positions that are incapable of helping.

We must wake up and ask ourselves some very serious questions about mental health. As I've said before this whole process of staying mentally well just isn't taking up a therapist when things start getting difficult. It's a lifetime process that we try to teach our children. This is process in self-love, self-fullness and self-awareness. Forty years ago we didn't have the academic we have today. So, lets start using their wisdom. Don't go for those who really don't give a damn and are all hype. As my late father in his own dysfunctional way would say and so would my dysfunctional uncles say; "Actions speak louder than words'

"Speak to me softy tell me know lie, if you don't know what it's like, to live in a First Nations Community, tell me know lies, I am an indigenous woman, my time fly's."

Is it so difficult to admit that you don't know? As my late sister-in-law Julie would say: 'Get off the cross! We need the wood!"

(laughing out loud!!)

There is a difference in how people from different upbringings see things.

I was talking with a few friends yesterday. I was talking about the different views men had about murdered and missing indigenous women. I mean even non-indigenous women have their own theories that has nothing to do with violence rather the reason indigenous girls and indigenous women are going missing is because aliens have abducted them.

Oh yes, it's bad enough to find out the our royal Canadian Indian Act was a parliamentary act passed to destroy my way of life or our way of life. Imagine, how typically British for a strong paper to be made to be put in ink no doubt about why its important to establish Indian Residential Schools.

Its bad enough that before Indian Residential Schools started showing up there were what the Canadian governments called Indian Industrial Schools. These first school were established to trained indigenous boys to be good little Indians; however, some bureaucrats got this idea in their heads that is they trained these boys and that these boys were sent back to the homes. Where they would met and marry indigenous girls that these savage girls would convert all their hard work. Meaning these boys would become savages again.

Yes, this whole concept of lets destroy the imagine of these indigenous females and lets try to say they savage girls need to have their sexuality tamed. It was difficult enough that starvation wasn't good enough. The government couldn't understand why indigenous girls and indigenous women were being sold. Some were being sold for a dirty blanket or for the play thing for a dirty of chief. They couldn't understand why indigenous women were selling themselves to settlers. They just thought these women were untamed and savage like.

It really just makes my stomach ach to think that these so called bureaucrats couldn't deduce the reasoning was that logically if they killed off all the buffalo and killed off all the food supply children were starving. This whole effort to portray indigenous women as not being capable of being virtuous and, or have piety. Was an effort to destroy and tame indigenous female sexuality. I mean I could go on and on; however, its this whole mass media thing about murdered and missing indigenous girls and indigenous women that has me going.

The reality is that we as indigenous women have survived. Our mothers, our grandmother and no doubt our daughters and granddaughter will survive. It's this sisterhood that keeps us going. I saw when I was growing up. I saw all my aunties along side my grandmothers working together. Much as how I see indigenous girls and indigenous women working together today. Each of us has stake in this issue of violence towards our gender.

What started out as a plea to my readers to be careful of sexual predators has evolved into a bigger plea. Much of what we as indigenous women have taken for granted and much that is exposed is our own image of self. I've seen my indigenous sisters thinking they are not good sisters or moms. They would sooner give up their daughters to someone else to raise. Now, why would some beautiful soul think so negative about themselves. I think it has to do with perceptions of our own gender. I've seen this with my own family and with other women. I am hoping to create a separate page just dedicated to the positive role of indigenous women within my own community.

October 11, 2017

After being away for about five days, much as changed. Do you, my readers ever think why its so important to look after ones' mental health? A lot of times we end up surprising ourselves as to just how much work we need to do on ourselves or we reflect to realize all this self-care work over these decades as worked out for the better.

I live and breathe on a First Nations Community. I was never one to go off flying visiting our countries, keeping in mind my peers thought I would, since both my parents and grandparents travelled around this world before I was eleven years old. So, what does mental health have to do with privilege or lack of privilege you might wonder, well here it goes.

As some may notice, I've written more this past month than previous years, and why it that. Well, a larger part as to do with my research into Indian Residential School or better yet Industrial School prior to the creation of Indian Residential School. Its amazing what one finds out about things I thought were a form of "helping the Indian Child" cause I was an Indian child at one time.

One can just take a look at what happening now in Canada and even part of the United States to see how indigenous girls and indigenous women are treated. And, here it comes. This past month, due to no part of my own, I've experienced much grief. I know some of you will end up at the end of this blog thinking about mental health and hopefully so. It started in February when my older brother died. He'd had a heart condition his entire life and when he died people just blamed his diabetes; however, yes with this illness came complication, its true. He was a strong man. He was a good brother in the sense he didn't wan me to isolate myself or be alone.

I miss him. Now, of course grieving is important. With his death, I thought I'll try to do my best and try to understand my grieving process. As it is most people are uncomfortable with talking about death. I say to strangers. I surrounded by death. They look at me like I am some sort of ghoul. Yet, the truth be told, I am around death a lot. Within this past month:

1. My late cousin Gwen's daughter died
2. My late cousin Gwen's grandbaby died still born.
3. My cousin Joanne's husband of 15 years dies after a battle with cancer.
4. My childhood friend's husband dies of cancer.
5. A 47 years old woman kills herself after grieving these past three years over two of her daughter's suicides.
6. A young man hangs himself in his mother-in-laws home with no funeral for him here.
7. An elderly woman had suffered from a stroke died.
8. My cousin's nephew dies from a heart attack at 27.

Some of the funerals I could attend due to finances and others I just could bare to see others grieve. This last one, its a heart stopper. I'll explain.

Throughout our lives we wonder if we've made the right decisions. Sometimes, we will never see the results of the decisions we've made and other time Creator blesses us. Maybe, Creator thinks we need a break or a little pick me up to move forward again. I don't know. I just know that I've lived long enough to see some of the results of some of my decisions.

last night I couldn't sleep. I've there for my cousin; however, the history I share with her and her family is even a deeper bond. When I visited her yesterday and saw the stress on her face and the grieve she was carrying, all I could do is be there with her. She's the type of indigenous woman whose been  in prison when she was much younger and throughout her life hasn't been off of drugs. It difficult for me to write this as it as everything to do with my youth. I could have been buried years ago if I had continued living her lifestyle or the lifestyles of her sisters. I helped bury all five of them.

As I've told my story, strangers ask if I was trying to be a nun or serve some religious manifesto. No, it was to be with my friends and family. As I've written about behavior addiction and substance addiction, I didn't in 1977, basic psychology wasn't a way of life for me. I just knew something was about to change in my life. The choice I made in October 1977 set in motion a series of even the following year that kept me alive all these years. It felt like everyone was walking around blindly even my parents, uncles, aunties and grandparents. I knew my grandparents were there for me in prayer and maybe that's what it was all about. My grandfathers and grandmothers saving my life.

I mentioned the number of people I've known directly or indirectly who have died this month. The reason I've done so it to allow you to think about these events and how you, wherever you come from and however you live your life, whether the grieve that's inside you is flowing or drowning you. Its easy to imagine sorrow drowning us if we allow it to take hold of us; however, every time I think about it I think of the grandfathers and the grandmothers. Their struggles and their prayers to keep us their descendants moving forward in these lives they've given us.  We all cope differently.

My friend, my relative, she copes every day of her life with taking a pill. A pill, as long as I've known her as an adult, she taken to help her with her pain. When she was younger, it was her emotional pain and now that she's older its her physical pain. Her nephew, whom we will all help bury within a few days was FASD and drank most of his adult life. He never had a place to call his own home. If he needed a place to crash it was at his aunt's place, my friend, my relative. I could never allow anyone who drank or took drugs into my home. I try protecting my home with un-hung prayer. Prayers that are said not to hurt others. An acquaintance mentioned that when I talk about my life story its seems or sounds easy for me to talk about my own personal pains, grieve, depression, behavior addictions. I say its cause I've tired to understand who I am and what is my purpose here.

Bill Philipps a Psychic Medium quotes: "Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having"-- UNKNOWN

I am a firm believer. Only because my Karma taught me that my behavior addiction was in chasing love, affection and/or attention. Much of my blog was never in seeking attention; however, it has taught me about myself. It's taught me about my mental health and why it is so important to teach our youth at a very young age. It's important they see how we as adults cope with the stressors to this world.

My Dakota male cousin who works with "child and family" serves told him indirectly that most of his female clients tend to create stories to get attention. I know he was directing towards me and my blog; however, for years at the beginning of my writing I didn't realize people were actually reading what I was writing. Mainly because they never left comments. It was the emails that I got and the site blogger showing me how many people read this blog daily that made me realize I was reaching an audience. However, my aunt the mother of my male cousin told me. Don't chase after your cousins to talk to them. They know you want to talk to them and if they are avoiding you leave them alone. You, prior to writing or prior to expressing myself, my learnt behavior was so entrenched I didn't see what it is I was doing. So, I listened.

Sometimes, I stumble and other times I see that pot hole and I drive around it to avoid the unneeded stressors. I truly believe we, survivors of childhood trauma, don't even realize how our own behavior leaves us to the mercy of predators. We believe that if we chase after their love they will throw us a bone and we'll be happy. No! don't do it. As my late mother would say: "Learn to love yourself first before you can learn to love another." It's taken me a lifetime, and I continue to make mistakes along the way and that's okay. I've survived worse things.

Mental health doesn't means I have a mental illness or that you have a mental illness. Mental health isn't having a mental illness and it's not having a problem at all. Mental health is how I address all my personal issues in my life. I deal with stress, lack of sleep, break-ups and other big things. Most say its a state of "well-being."  Its place where people can reach their full potential. Mental health is as important as physical health. It needs to start a young age and carry out through level of our lives much like training of a physical life, yoga. As a positive image verses not understanding the brain. There are brain games. What can be done to exercise our brains? Balanced mental health is to have balance. "|you get mental health, you get mental health and you get mental health..." (Oprah) As Ross Szabo says imagine if people took care of their mental health the way they do in buying a new car.

Bill Philipps: "Releasing what no longer serves you may seem difficult and painful at first because it has the potential to turn your world upside down. However, there is always a pus side... New space to let in what does serve you in the best way possible! Be  willing to let go and trust the process of life."

With every death our lives changes forever. There's a void left where there was none before. A few weeks ago, I predicted I would be grieving over a past acquaintances without knowing the reasoning for it. In the midst of my grief these past few weeks I've realized that this self-fulfilling prophesy of giving love, affection and attention was worth giving for me. The party that I gave my feelings to didn't understand that I wasn't chasing him, nor seeking his affection, or his attention: however, in writing this I needed to realize he couldn't' give of himself freely.You see I have a married male friend who can freely give me love, give me affection and give me attention without fear of losing himself. We respect each others boundaries. My hope is that we as indigenous people can heal from our childhood trauma and that we can be mental well for those who have and are losing so much.

In closing, I met a visit highly educated man years ago. He use to babysit for late Ronald Reagan. He was a an indigenous foster child who educated himself. He had served in the US government for Ronald Reagan and had ten companies and was servicing a professor at a University. He told me something that I have yet to find in any Indigenous man in Canada as educated as him. He told me:" I don't know what's it like to live in your community. I never will. I could never imagine it." He was a proud indigenous man who lived his entire life away from a First Nation Community or in the USA a reservation. He said he used his Indian Status card not to apply for grants or such only to let others know he was indigenous. I am so very grateful for having met and continue to me all types of people.

It's a sad state for our indigenous men in Canada. Imagine a government that praises and rewards that good little "indigenous boy" while cursing and destroying his sisters. As I've tired to find name of indigenous women that succeeded and believe me there are indigenous women out there. It's the government of Canada that doesn't acknowledge them. All we need to do today is just look at the NATIONAL INQUIRY FOR MISSING AND MURDERED INDIGENOUS GIRLS AND INDIGENOUS WOMEN  and you will find that this inquire isn't going anywhere. Why? I figure its that old boys clubs. Our indigenous men need to reconcile themselves from within their home communities before they can take it into the provinces and take it into the federal government.

There is much to grieve over; however, if you are able to stand strong with other indigenous women then do so. Our indigenous girls, our sisters, our moms and aunties and grandmothers are depending on us. This is why I write this blog. This is why I struggle to get the word out about why is it that we can no longer protect our own children. We must stay awake, our children are depending on us. If we do not get it straight we will lose everything.

 

 

October 5, 2017

Okay, as I am editing and rearranging my blog from blogger, I've realized that much of my Google plus is shared privately. This means that I will need to go into every post and edit the dynamics of this site. I transferred all my blogging stuff onto this site without realizing there was a editing issue.

so please bare with me as I am trying to understand this whole editing issue with content. I am hoping to add a different take on the theories around indigenous women as it pertains to our sexuality and gender roles as women.

I don't want this site to be to over saturated with boring stuff and historical stuff that makes people want to cry out of frustration. This is not my purpose. I will transferring much of my content to other blog sites and will provide a link to this origin site.

I am figuring the content of this site has evolved and , or needs to evolve. There are so many opportunities out there for young indigenous women, indigenous girls to get involved in, and I know that we as an indigenous community need to support them in a positive supportive way.

I just wanted to update you on what's going here. I'll be off for a couple of days, as I've got a oil painting that needs my attention. Within my community over this past month there were many deaths. I sometimes think, those who chose to stay away from their home fires are missing out. Yes, it is painful to lose a loved one, it's painful to lose a community member and it can be overwhelming; however, as I too am in the midst of my own grieving. I find solace with others. It gives me strength knowing that as each generation goes by, each one of us, must be prepare and willing to be there emotionally for each other in times of need.

This being said, I hope you all have a good week out there. And, remember, love yourself, be full of yourself or self-fullness, in the midst of selfishness as people are depending on us to be mentally well for ourselves and them.

wopida mitakuye oyasin

Why it is so important to not force anyone to do something they do not want to do.

A common example is Albert Einstein, who hated math. He hated it because he was forced to do it. Once his parents stopped forcing him and allowed him to do whatever he wanted to do he allowed himself to enjoy learning.

I am a firm believer in such thoughts. I feel better when I am not watched or have expectations placed on me to perform. So, I try to keep myself from interfering with another person's life. So, here goes my story.

A few weeks ago, just out of curiosity, I had a friend link me to another person. This person was friends with my friend and I didn't mind since at one point in my life I knew this individual. I was curious. My friend and I, we had known each other about the same time as this new found acquaintance of ours. So, she linked me up and he after much thought reconnected with me. I had linked up with many others over the years and thought what will it hurt to see how his life had turned out.

Well, before I continue, let me say that prior to texting him I had already formed an opinion of him. I really didn't want him to think that I was interfering in his life by any means. And, for lack of a better understanding I thought it wouldn't hurt me to fully disclose my life's story to him. After all he's off on the other side of the world and he's living his life the best that he can. So, you may ask what does this have to do with interfering with or manipulating someone into do something they don't want to do.

Well, it takes a bit of logic. I had already known from our mutual friend that he had lead quite a full life of success. He had left the country and from my understanding was sad and lonely; however, he was too suborn to admit it. He was too suborn to realize he isolated himself. So what does this have to do with me. Well, you see, I had nothing to lose. I could say what I wanted to say to him and quite frankly I did. As his life, from my point of view, just didn't seem connected. Well, I mean, you had to have known him when I first met him. But, enough said. Here's the thing.

I'd already known that many people had tried to convince him to move back to Canada. There is basically nothing here for him; however, my belief is and was, that if you are an educated indigenous person you need to pay back to your community. That's just me, much in how I use this blog site to give back to my community and my indigenous community as a whole. My life experience does mean something to someone out there. I know it's something I thought every indigenous person believes in and I can admit I was wrong. He got the best of me; however, in retrospect, I had nothing to lose.

I am just putting it out there as I know he reads my blog. This blog in particular is a part of my artist in residency project. I am revamping and rearranging the content of this blogger and copying items into other sites. Now, don't get me wrong. I did appear to his generosity. After all he did work for Justice Canada at one point in his life and I thought since this topic is about indigenous girls and indigenous women that he's have some input into the direction I could take this site.

The reality is like I've said I can not manipulate or coerce anyone into doing something they do not want to do. I explained to this acquaintance that boundaries are in place to keep whatever friendship, acquaintance status healthy between us. I had already know that I had no significant position in his life to lose and whatever I say to him could be construed as being obtrusive. Really, I nothing to lose, so why then I insist on boundaries you may ask. Well, it goes back to my being full of my self or selfulness. In other words, I had to trust that my decision to end our brief sessions of being acquainted with each other.

For me, it was a win, win situation. Firstly, he had no interest in me romantically; maybe, academically. Yet, from all my investigative probing, I realized whatever I did was already done. There were many indigenous people before me who tried to tempt him to return to Canada. Like I stated, just like in ceremony, we can not force a person to participate in an activity they don't want to attend or visit. It just goes against everything I learnt to establish for myself. As is the case in writing this blog. I can not force girls to report this plastic medicine man to the police, nor can I promise any of his victims I'll be in the court room with them. Everything in life must be done freely by the individuals choice.

So then, what does this act of free will have to do with this blog site. Well, everything in a way. As indigenous people we've basically taken on a struggle that existed before we were born. For indigenous women, its been being devalued as human beings. For our race, its been systematic targeted as savages. For indigenous women, being stereotyped as being unclean, salacious, unfit, promiscuous and just out and out undesirable. As I've researched for positive imagines about indigenous women within Canadian government archives, I've only read how indigenous women were used.

It's made me realize that I can not change history, nor can I change the nature of some of our indigenous men's hearts. As my female indigenous friend would say. "So many our men have become successful as a badge of Honor at what a good little Indian boy I've become, without every having to deal with their own childhood trauma." It is for some strange reason, we as indigenous women took it upon ourselves to heal from our own childhood trauma. As much as we lead the way, we as indigenous women can not force our indigenous brother to follow. Just as I can not change this indigenous brother of mine whom I took in as a friend years ago, I can not coerce.

I did put subtle hints about how difficult it is for a human being to change their behavior after a certain age. I mean, after all, if this indigenous man has never taken out or been with an indigenous woman, what makes him think he could try taking one out now. Logic would state that the indigenous woman would want to be with any man who finds her attractive sexually. I mean there's got to be that certain arousal point in any sort of beginning. My friend warned me about his stubbornness. She knows him better than me or for that matter every care to know him.

My ending any type of acquaintance process into a friendship process stopped. All I had to do was tell him he needed to move back to Canada. All I needed to do was tell him he didn't respect my boundaries. I wanted him to know that as an indigenous woman I didn't like being treated like an object. Something he'd objectified his entire life. I knew who he was and back so many years ago and I knew what he'd become was only what he had created for himself. I love being indigenous. I love our indigenous even if they are plastic medicine men. There is something to be said about being a phoenix rising from the ashes. My blog may warn others about predators; however, there is a beauty in how we as indigenous people thrive. I can not speak on this acquaintance nor his action to be so detached from his culture or his people. Like I've said its not for me to coerce him.

I don't pit him either, because he's living a pretty comfortable life. He doesn't have to worry about anyone but himself and isn't that selffullness is all about bein full of ones self? Yes, to some extent; however, there is a sense of freedom I have knowing I made the right decision to eliminate such a negative person in my life. Especially when I've chosen to live and breath indigenousness.

A large part of blogging via social media has nothing to do with manipulating my Audience

Here's what I try to do for myself and ours to understand. I try to be full of selfness or full of self. Little did I realize the decision I made when I was twenty five years old were going to be the basis of my life long philosophy. I can say this now that much of what I thought needed to happen within my life has happened. I am talking about material things like husband, children and home, rather I am talking about my ability to trust myself in knowing the decision I've made are the right decision for myself.

It may seems simple. Yet, we all go through life and at some point we question ourselves as to whether we've done the right thing or not. I mean, from this blog that started our about ten years ago until today, I am amazed. Wanka Tanka is an ancient being. The prayers I've said over these years were heard. My ancestors, I hope are proud of me. I didn't start this blog to create a "hate" group or have my readers think that they could rely on me to form some sort of  "Vigilante" group. And, no doubt over the years this plastic medicine man has threaten me indirectly. From various women threaten to sue me, to women actually coming to my community, yes. They've come to see with their own eyes this woman whom NCH claims is stocking him like some sort of infatuated, crazed beast rutting for sexual pleasure.

As much as it seems like a comedy, it has been for me. Throughout me life I've made my own mistakes and haven't we all. My mistakes were let say not to hurt people. As it appeared to only hurt myself in my own pursuit of my own happiness. This being said it's taken a great deal of personal sacrifice to be has healthy as I am. I wouldn't have had it any other way. And, in a sense this is what I wanted to share with you all. Especially indigenous women, cause I know your out there reading my blog and for those of you who've reached out to me over the years. I hope you are doing fine. And for those indigenous men who had the courage to reach out to me, thank you for being an indigenous warrior. Sadly, there are not too many men who sill stand by their daughters, sisters, wife, aunt or grandmothers. I say this cause in reality if there were then those girls who filed claims with the police would not have dropped the charges.

For one individual, the efforts you've made to get the word our of how dangerous this plastic medicine man is, I am truly humbled. I know it's not easy to look at your sister with disperse.  Thinking why does she want to kill herself. I know your family is a strong family and that they don't have this substance addiction to deal with rather they are dealing with the life of your sister. I hope she is doing fine. I know that she's been in and out of mental health facilities and that this angers you. You do have a right to be angry. I met your sister years ago. I just didn't think NCH would use her the way he did or never imagined the cruelness he had towards her and other indigenous girls and indigenous women; however, this attitude is historical.

I know you know this cause you are a very influential person and have used social media to get your point across that you want this plastic medicine man to know. He needs to know that there are men out there who will stand for his abusing our indigenous women anymore. Over the years, I've had some indigenous men contact me indirectly and some directly. I amazed me that they tried to also manipulate me into contacting the police on their behalf. So, to this young man whose stood up for his sister, I thank you. I just wanted my readers to know that you are out there. There are countless indigenous men out there who do not want this plastic medicine man to hurt anymore of our women. this type of abuse is historical.

What are the long term effects of childhood trauma on the human heart?

The reason I am writing about personality disorders is that within this realm of psychology there are many disorders. Over this past decade, I've wonder why this plastic medicine man has escaped
the police all these years. Why is it that people, especially those follow him are unaware or consciously choosing not see his behavioral addiction. In particular, his addictive behavior towards young indigenous females. What is it about him that is perceived has being normal in our Indigenous country? So, I think and believe that we as indigenous people must have some sort of addictive behavior that prevents us from separating ourselves from the obvious. His personality disorder for example is extreme. Because his disorder emotionally hurts his young female victims.

This being said, I am writing this post in my vain efforts to explain to you, my readers that we too have some sort of addictive behavior. It may not be as extreme; however, just like substance addiction, there are different degrees of abuse. I believe for most of us who suffer from some sort of childhood trauma, it about self-harm. And, again, let me caution you that there are extremes here as well. So, the following is an example of how an behavioral addiction can emotional harm ourselves if we suppress or not address our childhood trauma. Believe me, it comes back to bite you in the ass. As I've lived within my First Nations Community these past decades, I know a little about the grieving process. 

I also believe that over this past century, our people were not allowed to grieve. Taking away our ceremonies that were meant to help us grief and process our emotions left us craving a place to belong. In this sense of wanting to belong we've sometime given up too much of own freedom in order to survive. I am getting to the point of being able to think for oneself. Being able to not be manipulated by another is a choice. Although the following does talk about a behavioral addiction, I'd like to say that this behavior can be self-defeating; however, it can be illuminated. You can start to heal and you can start to learn how to think for yourself.

It may not seem clear to you at this moment in time; however, if I can heal and if I can help my readers relate to what I am discussing then I've helped one person, you. As much as when we are children we want our parents to give us direction and we want them to nurture us; however, when poverty and starvation is our parents main concern, we as their children get neglected. Throughout my life I thought I had lead a pretty violent life seeing my late mother being beaten, then seeing my older brother do the same thing to his first wife. I just saw too much violence towards married women. As the years came and went, I studied.

The scariest part of my life came when I was hired to look after suicidal teenage girls. I am eternally grateful for this experience as from this point on I started doing self-reflection on my own personal life. Throughout these years I've met some pretty remarkable men. Healthy men and some not so healthy me, who shared apart of their life stories with me.

My research into the effects of Indian Residential School had on the 'taming of the savage indigenous girls' was an interesting read. The efforts society made over these centuries, decades and years and months was the most revealing. We can not help but cringe at the thought of our own bodies being nothing more than an object. Something that can be thrown away in the trash. The documentation of sex trafficking happening to our sisters, mothers, grandmother and great grandmother is disturbing. The systematic efforts to starve our people to the point where our men would sell our women to feed their children.

This whole cult thing that NCH has going on here for himself is not new, rather its very old. The government did the same thing to our indigenous girls and women. Promising them a better way of life if they would only follow their teachings. And, their mothers thinking that they were sending their daughters into a better life because they were going to be learning how to be good women. Like I've said this propaganda has gone on for centuries, as its apart of the genocidal process of eliminating the voices of our indigenous girls and women.

I believe as we've moved into an age were our young people are being educated and are starting to become awake. We must realize that we must support them.  These young people are not stupid enough to follow this Plastic Medicine Man. Because they've met him and they are educated. They have strong parents who taught them how to think for themselves. Over this past year, I've been honored to see such brave young people gather at Standing Rock #NoDAPL. Imagine if you will that the entire free world and some not so free were watching. Here the spiritual leaders of the Great Sioux Nation gathered in prayer. Ask yourself, why wasn't this plastic medicine man not present and you've got your answer.

I've never really understood there was a difference between behavioral addiction and substance addiction. I thought that substance addiction was all in one. It never occurred to me that both are separate beasts. This is an important concept as it clarifies must about my own behavior and the behavior of so many indigenous children who've experienced childhood trauma. Much more so I am focusing on these addiction as they are relevant to obsession or the need to belong and the extent to what an individual will do to feel that they belong. My efforts in warning girls and their moms about behavioral addiction went unnoticed. So, here what I am going to do. I am going to put it into a story. I story that you could relate to and hopefully understand the possibilities of a better future. As there is hope. We, as indigenous people have one shot at getting this right. If we can not do this in a good way we same to lost. Our ancestors do not want us to loose our way. Wakan Tanka is an ancient being.

In my years of seeking out a profession, I stumbled across "mental health" issues as I was working with youth in an isolation First Nation Community. I'd thought of myself as indigenous and never really thought of myself as some sort of "princess." Mainly, that stereotypical mythical tempest type of alien creature. Some woman who just by the touch of her skin or a tear dropping touch a man's skin could empower her to have absolute power over any man. I never saw myself as such. Yet, in all this experience I had living in an urban environment, I was still quite naïve about what it's like to live in an isolated poverty stricken community filled with violence. And, this mythical female creature is something that government reinforced for centuries, as if we were not human rather savages able to convert and educated indigenous back to his original savage state.

Don't get me wrong, I grew up in a violent home; however, in my naïve way, I really didn't know how good I had it. Living fifteen minute most of my entire life near a 7-11, movie theatre, shopping mall, the best education offered an indigenous girl and woman. I sensed I was different only by the attitude my relative gave me. For as much as I was considered a card carry Indigenous person, I still had metis relatives. I still didn't understand my Sioux heritage. As my great grandmother had blue eyes. My mother's people, like her uncles looked "white" and such was their Dakota name meaning "Whiteman." I really never saw them as metis, or non-treaty cause they spoke their language fluently. I just thought it was me who needed to learn the Dakota language.

So, getting back to behavioral addiction versus substance addiction, are two concept that takes some getting use to understanding. Mainly, cause there are so many behaviors to identify and this is why I am going to be very general about this addiction. Most our lives, especially my life, I've focused on substance addiction without really being concerned about behavioral addictions. I believe mostly cause most people I knew and grew up with died or were dying of substance addiction. I never really understood how I developed my personality disorder until I understood my own childhood trauma. And, yes, when we use inappropriate social skills to cope with any traumatic event we inadvertently create a coping mechanism.

It's these inappropriate coping mechanisms that gets us into trouble. Either, we can not think for ourselves or we take total control of our lives. Its two extremes. This is the crux of this blog today. As I believe many of readers need to know who I am. You need to know what motivate me into writing about a sociopath. When I first met him, I had already did quite a bit of personal healing. The problem I encountered had nothing to do with me; however, it had to do with  into others who were still using inappropriate coping skills. I don't want to get to this topic as this whole site is about such experiences. I want to discuss, behavioral addiction in one very aspect that ties into my subject matter.

When I first worked with suicidal youth, I read up on their case files. I reflected much on myself and the community from which I grew up. Needless to say, I was very concerned about my own mental health. You know that saying, don't take these descriptions too literate or you could over diagnose yourself. I am just mentioning this because within all that I know about family violence and how we as adults bring our childhood experiences into our adult lives. I can say I took my life for granted. I never was beaten everyday of my life, nor did I feel like I was raped as a child by any of male members of my family. I am also not trying to minimize my own trauma rather I am going to explain my inappropriate coping skills. I'll explain it using my relationship with a potential lover so that the story and experience can be relatable.

When I was twenty, I met a young man. He was still in High School. He was quite the young man. He was quite outspoken and for a young man then. He was someone to be admired. In fact, the group I associated myself with were so taken up with his personality and character, they nurtured him throughout his high school career. As he puts it, "I had a normal life there, finishing high school as a normal person." We, the group I was associate with, we were all like one big family. His first family away from home. He had run away from home. We had had this in common too.

In fact, in hindsight, we had a lot more in common than I realized at the time. And, the only reason I am mentioning this now is that the two of us, we were young and youthful with a future laid out in front of us. Now, this is where the experiences of childhood trauma fits into the whole scheme of things. Sometimes, if we are not careful, and if we do not nurture ourselves both with an education and mental health awareness, we can drown in or evolve our behavior into a disorder. Much like our infamous "Plastic Medicine Man; however, this wasn't the case for either of us.

Our coping mechanism lead us into two different paths; with mine being more introspective with a fine arts background and a minor in the physical sciences like mathematics and for him, he went into law enforcement background and a lawyer with a civil service job for the Federal Government. The things we had in common before our futures took us in different paths was how we coped. Yes, we had this in common in the beginning, without the two of us knowing just how similar we were. In order for me to teach you about what a personality disorder is I must first tell refresh that word call behavioral addiction. We tend to think of any addiction as being that of substance; whereas, when we discuss behavior we need to be introspective.

Sometimes, we create a thought to help us cope or ignore a feeling. Most times when experiencing a traumatic event our minds tend to create such thoughts. Without realizing it becomes natural because its helped us survive. As teens, we as adults, see infatuation as a teenage behavior. We never tend to think that this behavior extends beyond our teenage life and maybe in some ways we just don't see the puzzle. There's missing piece. The only way to find this missing piece of this imagery puzzle is to find out when and where it was created. This is difficult as behavior isn't a physical thing that one can never hold. So, go with me on thing abstract thought here.

Reflecting back on ones life and realizing we are either happy  and contented or we are sad and depressed. Where did these feelings of loneliness and isolation come from that we find ourselves craving intimacy. Now, here's the story. This young man we will call him, Robert and we will call me the young woman. Ola. Well, Robert had a father who was not a drinker; however, he beat him regularly and coldly. Ola, on the other hand was never beaten by either of her parents. In fact, Ola's only traumatic experience was watching her mother being beaten. Also, by the time she met Robert, she had been brutally raped. Ola never told Robert nor wanted the police to do anything about her perpetrators. She just wanted to be accepted by her new friends, including Robert. Who seemed to have it out for her.

Robert loved his community so much, Ola remembers driving with him and another acquaintance to this isolated northern community. Robert, being rude to her as usually told this prior to getting into the community meeting he wished to attend saying to Ola, "These people here are going to think that you are sleeping with me and him." Ola was taken back at this remark and as far as she was concerned had to bearing on her purpose being with these two young men. If things were not complicate enough, upon return to the city, Robert made a sexual pass to Ola. Ola was confused as she didn't think Robert liked her. So, she thought she would approach him to ask him about his sudden attraction to her; however, Robert ignored her. Again, he was pushing her away and ignoring her as if she were the one who was infatuated with him, instead of the other way around. This felt Ola very lonely and alone. The group had found their messiah, a young brilliant mind. As for Ola, she was a dime a dozen and she felt like she wasn't needed, so she left the city and moved to another city.

Now, it seems typically normal, yet it's this behavior that I am focusing on with regards to behavior addictions for both Robert and Ola. And, why this disorder is so difficult to understand. Even for Robert years later as he lives his life he wonders about his feelings; however, for Ola, she's had experience with being retrospective and can see and feel when this addictive feeling tries to control her thoughts; whereas, because Robert never understood where he created such behavior, he still can not as he puts it: "I still cannot talk as fully about myself as you can. I simply find it too hard and painful. Sometimes sit and cry, trying to not feel sorry for myself,"

This whole world of infatuation isn't based on actual intimacy rather it's based on fantasy or an illusion of love. It's an inappropriate coping skill. A skill that represses our actual situation or desire to be loved or belong into a group or family unit. This is especially so if the family unit is dysfunctional. And, sadly to say, most indigenous homes are dysfunctional, even the most political families. We tend to think that we are doing things for not ourselves rather for the great good of the family unit. It's a negative reinforcement that if and when used can motivate us to succeed in our own personal struggles.

So, Robert hated being indigenous and hated wearing his brown skin; whereas, Ola embraced her indigenousness and wore her brown skin. Robert hated any cowardly act, humiliation, insult or injury and reacted to every challenge given him; whereas, Ola, she didn't mind humiliation, insult, injury and as for challenges, as long as she didn't have any competition, she was happy. However, both had their draw backs. Each had develop a personality disorder and were unaware of such a behavior mechanism inside themselves. As life moved forward and each exiled in their areas of expertise there was still something missing. As Robert said with every new challenge he created a new place to belong until that got old and he moved onto another challenge. As for Ola, she knew she needed to deal with her childhood trauma.

Robert got married, divorced, and started isolating himself; whereas, Ola never got married and she started networking and sharing her life's story with whomever needed to hear account of trauma and healing. It's not to say Ola is better than Robert, by no means, she still struggle with her behavior when that addiction to protect, create, or run away triggers a thought; however, she and her friends talk about their feelings.

Okay, all this is said and done and you've heard of such stories and its nothing new; however, let take this back a bit. Back to where both Robert and Ola met. There was already hate and revenge filling Robert's life. He just didn't see it then; however, Ola did. It was the way that he treated her, as she never treated him bad or mean by any means. Yet, its as if she had cast a spell on him. Enchanted him beyond his effort to control his emotions over her. I picture this as more of the mythology creature I mentioned early. The seductive maiden whose very tears could convert Robert back into a savage. He just couldn't bear to love her nor could he bear to become a savage. A savage that he had hated or was beginning to start to hate. Remember, he's in the midst of establishing his sexual identity here. He's away from the influences of his over-bearing father. He's found a group of young people like himself who he's bonded with and whom he feel he's got a sense of purpose.

As for Ola, she too is as plans to make something of herself. She doesn't want to settle down with a young man who's  all piss and vinegar with no hopes of getting an education. As this story goes each went off to educate themselves in their prospective fields. Ola, whenever she'd met a young man, she would try focusing on our matters. She thought if she pretended to be infatuated with an obtainable man her peers would leave her alone. There was this constant effort to setup Ola up with a boyfriend or try to get her married off. The peer pressure was too great. She just couldn't see herself being with any man or for that matter any woman. She just want to live her life alone.

It wasn't until this behavior started to get the best of her that she realized she had taken it to far. As she had talked with whomever she had become infatuated with over the years, her practice of establishing boundaries was becoming healthier and healthier. She was fortunate that those men she admired were healthy men and were willing to help her without any motives to seduce her or manipulate her. Ola understood the what a manipulative behavior meant. This whole concept of trusting men, so that she could be happy just being happy with who she was, was goal, her desire. Ola came to terms with why she created a fallacy of infatuations with men. She understood that it was a inappropriate way of protecting herself from being hurt if she never became intimate with any of her infatuations. Ola didn't realize the only person she was hurting was herself; however, as the years went by she knew she was strong and a free thinker. She had evolved. She was able to become emotional intimate. Something that should have happened when she was a young woman.

Ola, tried to tell Robert that his infatuation with her years ago was based on a missing piece in his life where he had created a fallacy about her. She tried to tell him that she had also been infatuated with him, as she too was afraid of intimacy. Only thing, he was too much involved with his own ego to see that she had identified his connection to her. A connection that had haunted her for decades. It took her awhile to process the information he gave her about his own life since he had last spoken with her. He couldn't understand why he was so lost and lonely. You see in the whole scheme of things, Robert's first love was Ola: however, as Ola was infatuated with Robert, she knew what her feelings were. There was nothing she could do. She waited for him to express his true feelings without knowing he just couldn't because he was emotionally crippled from his own childhood trauma. On the other hand, throughout Robert's life he thought: "There are some issues that I have been thinking about, things that I have never discussed with anyone and one of these is that I have never taken out an Native Woman. Perhaps a sense of rejection by Native women, I do not know."

As you can imagine, Ola couldn't comprehend such a life he'd lived. He never wined and dined an indigenous woman nor had he ever danced with an indigenous woman. It was a shock that his infatuation with her decades ago was his last failed attempt to engage in an intimate conversation with Ola; however, Ola thought to herself. Robert took on challenges, so logic would determine that he didn't find indigenous women a challenge, only white women. Ola realized he wasn't serious about establishing a healthy friendship after all these years. She realized he was attempting to trigger her behavioral addiction towards him; however, what he didn't understand is that she knew what he was doing.

Prior to them being reacquainted, Robert says to Ola that he was not confident to ever tell her how he felt about her and Ola could never tell Robert how she felt about him. Both went their separate ways and continue to do so. Each with their own personality disorder and each with their own mental health issues to deal with as a result of childhood trauma. This is what they both had in common. They both created an infatuation for each other, a totem, or an imagery fathom. Some form of energy they could hold onto as they strived to educate themselves. For Ola, she reflected. For Robert, he took on new relationships without ever dealing with his triggers. He could only sense that there was a force at work that motivated him to succeed.

The difference is as Robert exceled in his profession the further he drifted away from his ideal Native Woman or the essence of a savage love.  His rage and revenge was projected onto his stereotype of his indigenous sisters. As he could never see himself with an indigenous woman, the further isolated he became. The greater his emotional pain engulfed him. It's this transference that our indigenous men need to bring home in order for true reconciliation to begin. Ola isn't the mother, sister, lover who abandon Robert, nor is she a mythological indigenous creature. A creature that some Aliens abduct rather than the actual reality of being murdered. Than being missing because of alien took her cause she closely has alien DNA. Ola had heard all these nasty theories of why indigenous girls and indigenous women go missing or murdered. She's not some inhuman creature that rejects, manipulates and destroys lives. She doesn't need to be controlled for her own good. Ola is just an average indigenous woman who wants to live a safe and peaceful life.

The morale of this post is: "Don't be afraid to tell someone how you truly feel. They are just as scared as you are about being in love." And, if they are manipulative, then run. Don't look back as they are not worth your time of day.  If Their behavioral addiction has evolved into something that is a danger to others like our Plastic Medicine Man, then run. My story about Robert and Ola is only demonstrate that Behavioral Addiction that is real. It can start out as an infatuation; however, if not healed. It causes sadness. As indigenous people we don't need sadness. We've had decades of being repressed. Repressed so we were unable to grief. So, to Robert, grief over what you need to grief over and try to understand how a simple act of creating and infatuation started you off on a life long career to succeed and excel. It serviced a purpose. Now, that you understand the purpose it serviced, respect it's triggers. Be kind to yourself, love yourself and love those that love you and those you love.

In closing, it difficult to realize that a much as this story is a simple real. Robert struggled with substance addiction prior to dealing with his behavior addiction. So, all things are possible. So for all you young people strive to understand yourself and your motives. We all want to feel like we belong to a healthy family; however, if one doesn't exist, imagine how your life would have been. It's a start, and that how Ola started her healing. As much as Robert spent his whole life motivated by rage, hate and revenge, he's a good soul. As much as he never took out an indigenous women, only marrying white women, he's a good soul. As he's put it, there are somethings he does want to feel or see in himself. I don't know what that is, as I only know there are far too many people like Robert in this world.

And, my sisters, there are far too many of us who see our brothers struggle with this type of behavioral addiction. To you my sisters, thank you for being there for me, when I sense such soul, I cherish the sisterhood of understanding. We are a strong gender whose ancestors taught us how to thrive and strive for our people are depending on us to be there for them.


Wopida Mitakuye Oyasin
Wopida

Amazing

When I first met this guy I thought he was a young man; however, that's what I didn't really think. My spider senses said she's got women attached to him. 

To get to my point, of what's amazing, it's that over these years I never thought my writing anything was going to matter much. 

Today, a friend who also knows this guy was having problems with a relative. He's owed her thousands of dollars & with her trucks Bg company, she needs to pay her bills. So what does this have to do with this plastic medicineman. Well, He's good business man. 

Remember that movie "You've got mail" WithTom Hanks & Meg Ryan? Tom say to Meg "It's not personal its business." Well, that's the advice I gave her. First, setup a mediator who can negotiate for you, I said. Then, if he still doesn't pay what he owes you sue him. 

At least your giving him the "benefit of the doubt" before you go through any form of litigation. I mentioned that this would reflect badly the next time he tries to secure a business contract. 

I warned her that "it's not personal it's business" to get a credible witness or witnesses cause he's going to to discredit you. 

This where this plastic medicine man was mentioned. I said, in business the other person will try to make the other look incompetent. He'll do everything to make it look like it's your fault. 

I'm saying this cause as women we really need to think about boundaries. We think that if we call a guy out he'll pay what he owes; however, that's our own foolishness. 

I've learned in my old age that much of what we think is morale or personal isn't really business. Personal stuff is if I had a child from this plastic medicine man and was seeking child support. Personal is being a mom to one of his many children. Protecting children from the errors of the parent or parents. 

I had a dad, uncles, grandfathers. The men in my life were in my life. It's important for women and girls to be thankful or grateful. 

Years ago Nathan says to me indirectly "She thinks she more powerful than me." At the time, I didn't grasp the idea of power until my eldest brother took his journey home seven months ago. Throughout me life is this strength that I'm very grateful for that came from all the male influences in my life. 

We never really change from who we were as children. My late brother protected my late mom, protected me, protected his wife, protected his children. I knew what it was like to have a man save my life by risking their life. 

That's why when Nathan says "I'll die for you." It didn't register cause I knew it was not sincere. I thought all I did was connect him with money. It was really nothing. I didn't question his gratitude towards me. 

So again, the saying it's not personal it's business. When I was a child I saved another child's life from drowning. If this makes me more powerful than him or the fact my late father risked his life for me, then I'll accept this type of power. 

Why? Why, you may ask. Well, there are indigenous children and youth who believe they are not worth anything cause there's no male influence. I mean a provider. My late father wasn't perfect nor were my uncles or grandfathers. I'm grateful to all of them.

In my youth I travelled alone and I know all these male influences in my life guided me and protected either physically or spiritually. If anything or anyone wish to investigate me you will find and learn who these men in my life were. 

Bottom line, be grateful and give thanks for all Creator gives. 

When Nathan says I'm more powerful than him he was using a business sense not a personal reference about me. I learned these past decades that I'm capable of doing great things only if it's done with gratitude & an ability to ask questions. 

For all you young girls and young women, people tend to discredit those who use the force of truth, the force of love and the force of soul. I hope you all get it. 💕

Whatever happened to fairy tales and make-believe?

From all reports of people siting this medicine man with his entourage, they claim he has complete control over his wives as well as his followers. Any attempts to talk to one of the girls is met with fear from the poor girl as she holds onto another of his wife's arm. They are unwilling to talk even when prompted. Bullying is bullying and for centuries in a aboriginal communities it's been our way of life.

Hello Wolf...(edited)

Thank you for your response, I hope my response to your letter helps you
further in healing. I am not uneducated nor am I unaware of how to 'live off the
reservation' as they say in Hollywood. You are just one of many in recent
years who are posting or using the internet to voice their concerns. I've had time to
think about how to answer you. I also wanted my response to come from a real
place. I talked with my brother almost every day while he's in prison. I
talked with my step-niece. Things haven't changed she is still trying to manipulate
something out of me and my family. She is a danger to herself and to others. This
is the damage that these two men did to her. I cannot do anything but blog.
I wash my hands of her. She is much need of treatment from sexual abuse. Not only is she in denial of what my brother did to her but also what this medicine man did. She defends them both and both are good men.  Claiming that both has sex with her when she was fifteen.

Healing from family violence may take a whole life time. Anyone who claims
that it takes less is fooling themselves. We Sioux are taught to
be pitiful in a way to help each other rise up from that state of pity. This is why
when NCH came and met me and my mom at work we felt like family because he played his pitiful self for us and eventually against us. It is a way of life that is taught from birth. It is a feeling of wakan. It is a brief feeling felt in ceremony. Yet, when we bury our dead or help
the living it's done in this spirit. NCH uses it against those who don't
know this feeling because it's a Sioux way of life. I know because I've met
Sioux who were raise with this wakan. Adopted Sioux children are always
amazed. I hope you realize that this way of life is still practiced in a
good way amongst many aboriginal peoples here and in the States.

And, people don't have to be Sioux or Aboriginal to practice being apart of the human family.

This was a response to a reader of my blog....
Thank you to all who read this blog and don't subscribe because it's okay to remain private. I appreciate all the people who are wondering what to do or think. I felt like I needed to find someone who could confirm what I was feeling too. I found her in the form of one of his ex-wives before he openly practiced polygamy.

As much as it would be so simple to believe my niece who claims I am in love with this Medicine Man, it's harder to undertand why she would continue to be jealous or why she would continue protecting a person as manipulating as him. Just as she continues to protect my brother who is in prison even after she put him there. As a child, I wondered why my mother would continue to stay with my dad year after year of being beaten. I believe a victim is a victim until they have the courage to leave and change their behavior. Maybe if I had married she wouldn't think so less of me.

When people think less of others they are bullying them. I didn't recognize then but I do now.

FAITA 2008 - Nathan Chasing Horse - Best Supporting Actor

Posted then my reply.....
I agree with you all NCH is No Wicasa Itancan. I agree he is a womanizer he seriously Takes the cake wearing that Head dress in front of a Camera. and on stage. I agree he needs to earn those feathers. If he truly was a Heyoka he wouldn't be making movies and Parading around like he does he would be back here helping the Lakota people. But he don't he just runs around Chasing young girls i heard of his Rep on the Navajo rez. i been down there and they talk bad about him. He needs to Grow up.

Tusweca30 2 years ago MY REPY...When the male followers who follow him stayed at my home for three months, NCH would come by to met them and get paid. He was my grandfather's headdress and said he wanted feathers too. He is a womanizer. He tried telling getting to me by telling me "I would give up my life for you!" I worked with him onset at "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee." He made extra money from my community while the production was going on here. The women on set like all the native actors. My first impression of NCH was that he was like most men. I didn't ask him, not that he would have told me the truth. He was a womanizer leaving many children. Yet, here he was. He travelled here all by himself and later three men came into my home to help him. Apparently, they are his body guard when he enters the pow wow arbor while his wives sit on the bleachers waiting to stand up to honor him once he starts his competition dance.

he chases young girls really?!
i saw a pic of his 3 wives so does that do anything with it?!

alexaberryz105 2 years ago MY REPLY...These girls only two came to my community in fall and during the coming winter he took all three around the world. They parade in front of an Asian audience. The blogger were saying all the boys were afraid to talk to these wives because they were told not to talk to anyone. The oldest of these women had found out during the previous summer at this Sundance that he had other interests. I saw him talking to her. She looked obedient. She accepted the other wive then. They bead all his outfits with the exception of one I know of that was sold to him in New Mexico. A wife got his money and paid for the outfit for him It wa $6,000.00. Imagine what his other ten children could do with this money.

NCH is no itanca nore is he a pejuta wicasa he is nothing just like all of us. the only ones who were honored to wear those feathers are the ones we talk about today, its shameful that he would play a role in a movie os Sitting Bull's son One Bull when two years ago he disrespected Sitting Bull's sundance parading around as an heyoka he is not even such a helper as a heyoka or eny spiritual means

johneagleshieldjr 2 years ago MY REPLY...His followers told me about this happening. They just said that he wasn't allowed near or around Sitting Bulls Sundance. I know from others in the State that there are people who becoming concerned about medicine men and women who do not live in their communities to leave. They want them to go back their own home communities and help their own people. This will prove that they are truly an Itanca or Head Man. He convinced my brother he was such a helper and my brother accepted him.

NCH is a rosebuder and I would like to throw my two cents as well. I feel that he disgraces himself for wearing a wapha not even spotted tail, sitting bull would wear such a headress. NCH you are still a kid you need to earn those feathers thru humilty not how many movies you acted in. Also rememeber that nobody made you chief among the Lakota. You are not a yuwipi man far from it...The rattles that shake in your ceremonies are not the spirits they are humans lying to people hau ho Crow D

akeheso 3 years ago MY REPLY...I come from a a family of Chief and honorable grandfathers. I know that being a human being especially a man nobody is perfect. Yet, its the humility in the services of your people that gives a true leader this honor and not a show to convince those who watch these "cowboy and indian" movies yearn for a magical ending to a tragedy. This is who this man respresents. A tragedy of people who don't want to believe how horrible he is towards his own people.      

Im from pine ridge and no man has ever wear a headress such as this NCH. I feel that its the people who will give him the honor of wearing a headress like this. Its shameful that he only wears this headdress in front of camera. He should come to pine ridge and try to wear that here. He should make up his mind what he wants to be chief, medicine man, actor, spiritual leader, womanizer, drunk ect.. I remember he used to drink with us in rapid city

wineridger 3 years ago MY REPLY...Its all those non-indian people who want to romanticize a tragedy that make him a imaginary head chief. He can not wear it here either. He knows that he gives women want they want and they women only know they want him and they are too young too know what they need. They have fallen in love with a make believe myth, a mythical being who hollywood created. It's difficult to live on the reserve or reservation. There is not romance nor illusion of how real people are here struggling. He came across here saying he's never drank. He played his hollywood role. However, just like the roles he's played our gut feelings will not let us down. I stood alone defending myself and my family. I do not believe he understood just how traditional my community member are and just how motivated I am to know the truth. My step-niece like so many young girls over the past two decades were hurt by this thing. Even a Heyoka tempts but doesn't hurt his own people. We grow criminal in our communities. Those who live here and those who are our leaders are more powerful than NCH. The people who follow him are looking for this strength with others that for some reason they don't have the courage to see or follow their gut instincts.

Iive also posted......http://kinyewakanwinyan.blogspot.com/http://kinyewakanwinyan.blogspot.com/

Ask yourself: "Why isn't he living on his traditional home land?" He claims he's a traditional man!

!search for more clues into this man’s lifestyle. I’ve found the increasing awareness of people becoming awake to who this man truly is and what he’s doing to our own people.

It’s taken going on six years now since he broke the law. He knew my brother was sexually abusing my step-niece. Rather than reporting my brother to the police he waited a year grooming my niece to believe he loved only her. I asked him whether what she claimed was true. He denied it. He denied the other three girls. One went away with him having a baby boy from him a year later and the other follows him probably thinking someday she’ll be with him. The other ran away from home but not after disclosing to the police.

My brother is serving another two years in jail. Dancing Sperm, a name I now call this medicine man. I think he doesn’t ‘smile a-lot’ lately either. Dancing Sperm talked with my brother and it seems they were trying to figure out how to get my brother from having sex with his step-daughter. My brother was so enthralled with Dancing Sperm he couldn’t believe he was also having sex with the same child too. My step-niece was heartbroken when she realized what a fraud Dancing Sperm was. He broke all his promises to her and the thousands of dollars’ worth of gifts he gave her didn’t mean anything.

My brother thought he was innocent because Dancing Sperm’s support over the year convinced him he was a good man. When the police arrested my brother, my brother confessed. My step-niece protecting Dancing Sperm lied about his sexual activity with her. Dancing Sperm convinced everyone that he was innocent and didn’t know anything about what my brother was doing to his step-daughter. Some women defend him saying if he knew who would believe him. My brother confessed. I know my brother did an evil deed but so did Dancing Sperm. It took my niece years again to talk to me. When she did she said that nobody here wants her around them.

I told her twice she protected Dancing Sperm. She thought he was going to take her away as his wife. It is after this that it appears that Dancing Sperm started being more open about his addiction to fifteen year olds. My brother said he saw him with these girls throughout the year he was following him. I figured my brother like Dancing Sperm thought it was normal. My niece is getting professional help after all these years. I think once people realize that much of Dancing Sperms victims come from families where there is very little chance these girls will ever get professional help because they are so poor. Sometimes in their poverty they become so depressed they just want to forget what he’s done to them by drinking or taking drugs. I truly believe from experience this is why most people refuse to believe this man is so negative.

Here is a video of him and please read the comments. There are some people who do know who he is. I hope you will be opened minded. Logically, if white society can have their sociopaths doesn’t it follow that we too as Native American or Aboriginal; whatever you deem correct, have these type of predators within our midst. http://www.youtube.com/user/Lin2010#p/u

http://www.youtube.com/user/Lin2010#p/u

What's it like?

The following is my opinion of Shamanic Medicine as seen through my eyes as opposed to other European viewpoints. I agree that we are learning from and teaching each other constantly. When I think about OWN Oraph’s life classes saying ‘of being all that you can be,’ I wonder why most Canadians and Americans from European background practice Canadian Frist nations Medicine or Native American Spirituality.

I believe, yes, there is the oneness in the world that we as human beings are trying desperately to achieve. As a result, many including myself are trying to become all that we can be or are meant to be.

An elder in the community once said that “one who walks between worlds” is not afraid to die and until this week I thought it was an opinion of just one medicine man. Yet, many Sioux Medicine Men have and do continue to say this. As I’ve talked with another elder, I’ve think in my western ideology, and I do use this loosely because I was influenced by western culture too. I think and believe that such people walk the world as a monk does. This means they are spiritual leaders and healers. The twist is that there are many Sioux Medicine Men of do not live a monk’s life rather they practice polygamy or some bastardization of cultism. Much of the romance I believe comes from the disconnections we in our own ignorance fail to not realize that these people did not disappear as history says. Ritual abuse is alive and well in all societies both third world and the first.

As everyone is connected then it stands to reason that everyone continues trying to connect, as each new life begins and each one ends. So, logically as each of us human beings become aware of our oneness. Many believe that children are holy because they come with this awareness already empowered in them at their birth. This is where there’s competition between healers.  There is a force that is also trying to compete. I believe it’s this competition that takes away from our true meaning or our finding our purpose in life.

Most of the time, we try to communicate. This enigmatic, as an essence within ourselves as way of life, or a way to communicate with each other or other than through words or sounds. The question asked then is what is reality and how do we know that we are living in reality rather than in fantasy. Are we a reflection of information long ago forgotten? Are we truly living in the NOW and are we OWNing our true self’s? As our world becomes smaller and smaller due to technology, a technology that helps us uses our energy to engage our consciousness of oneness. The reality of it is that it is too overwhelming to comprehend and this is where the confusion comes in for those who are seeking their true self’s. Most healers will say that it’s like walking bumping into each other without knowing it or like finding your Wheat shaft being casted out by the wind when thrown up in the air. It is not magical nor is it supernatural. Many studying psychology to give it a name, giving it a tool to communicate its presence when it lives in all things, my ancestors called it Wanka or ‘Great Mystery.’

An Elder woman’s opinion about Sioux Medicine Men, the Sioux communities are so fragmented and divided. In my opinion, this concept of the ‘Great Mystery’ attracts many followers who do not know what’s it’s like to live on a Reservation or Reserve. They look at the resiliency of the Native American or First Nations peoples and want to be like them. Those who crave this spirituality are the fragmented amongst modern society. They fall victim to these plastic medicine men that display psychic gifts and perform miracles. There is a test to see if you are a victim. Live a few years on a Reservation or Reserve among the people who lived there their entire lives. We are not the only people who are in denial.

Every society has its fragmentations. Some call it trauma while others call them holes where our life’s energy escapes and still others try justifying this as spirituality. I believe it’s very simple. Religion and spirituality balance each other.  In art or in the practice of creating a piece of art, it’s explained that it’s a process. Much the same as looking at a piece of art work that looks like it was created by a Native American or Aboriginal person, yet it was created by a European. The question is much the same as the discussion then whether a piece of art is done by a true Native American or Aboriginal person. The thought is that it doesn’t matter because it an Art form. I believe this is the same argument that Europeans use when it comes to practicing Sioux spirituality. Rationalizing that their spirituality is like a band-aide that covers this trauma. It’s a gap they say or like a sore that forms a scab that covers the infected area.

Everyone whose ever been traumatized can relate; however, there is so much pride attached to denial that those who follow a cult truly believe they are healing. I think because they feel like they are reclaiming a deep love or relationship with themselves. For me, it’s a vulnerable part that surfaces. When it does I know where it was created so I know to acknowledge it and move forward. I do understand why many are so involved with following that Red Road or Native American Spirituality. They rationalize and justify they are not bastardizing this way of life because they are following a Real Medicine Man or Holy Man. It’s these people that I blog for because the competition for followers like you is great because you have money. You have compassionate and empathy for an infected area, the reservation or reserve.  

You have a need to feel like you are a medicine man or women in your own rights. You’ve studied, you’ve healed, you’ve spent the money and for some of you, you have believed you’ve lived it. Years ago I met a Native American Scholar who said he didn’t know what it was like to live on a Reservation or Reserve. He admitted he didn’t know this way of life. A way of life where Medicine Men and Medicine Women abuse their own people rationalizing that it’s a way of life. Taking advantage of the weak, sick and dysfunction of our communities are these sociopaths. We live in these communities so we know who comes and who goes. Our communities are small and with technology being what it is, our communities have become one. If there was a rescuer, savior or a latter day saint in our community anywhere in North American, we would know.

There is a Great Mystery out there. Just as you have your own predators within your own societies or own cultures, we too have them. The sad reality is that the competition is so great for healers that the true healers are hidden or manipulators hide them. The irony is that I believe and think that the Great Mystery does bring those who need healing to them via the back door. I don’t believe even corrupt Holy Men or Medicine Men or Medicine Women have the power to deny our creator  these blessings.