A common example is Albert Einstein, who hated math. He hated it because he was forced to do it. Once his parents stopped forcing him and allowed him to do whatever he wanted to do he allowed himself to enjoy learning.
I am a firm believer in such thoughts. I feel better when I am not watched or have expectations placed on me to perform. So, I try to keep myself from interfering with another person's life. So, here goes my story.
A few weeks ago, just out of curiosity, I had a friend link me to another person. This person was friends with my friend and I didn't mind since at one point in my life I knew this individual. I was curious. My friend and I, we had known each other about the same time as this new found acquaintance of ours. So, she linked me up and he after much thought reconnected with me. I had linked up with many others over the years and thought what will it hurt to see how his life had turned out.
Well, before I continue, let me say that prior to texting him I had already formed an opinion of him. I really didn't want him to think that I was interfering in his life by any means. And, for lack of a better understanding I thought it wouldn't hurt me to fully disclose my life's story to him. After all he's off on the other side of the world and he's living his life the best that he can. So, you may ask what does this have to do with interfering with or manipulating someone into do something they don't want to do.
Well, it takes a bit of logic. I had already known from our mutual friend that he had lead quite a full life of success. He had left the country and from my understanding was sad and lonely; however, he was too suborn to admit it. He was too suborn to realize he isolated himself. So what does this have to do with me. Well, you see, I had nothing to lose. I could say what I wanted to say to him and quite frankly I did. As his life, from my point of view, just didn't seem connected. Well, I mean, you had to have known him when I first met him. But, enough said. Here's the thing.
I'd already known that many people had tried to convince him to move back to Canada. There is basically nothing here for him; however, my belief is and was, that if you are an educated indigenous person you need to pay back to your community. That's just me, much in how I use this blog site to give back to my community and my indigenous community as a whole. My life experience does mean something to someone out there. I know it's something I thought every indigenous person believes in and I can admit I was wrong. He got the best of me; however, in retrospect, I had nothing to lose.
I am just putting it out there as I know he reads my blog. This blog in particular is a part of my artist in residency project. I am revamping and rearranging the content of this blogger and copying items into other sites. Now, don't get me wrong. I did appear to his generosity. After all he did work for Justice Canada at one point in his life and I thought since this topic is about indigenous girls and indigenous women that he's have some input into the direction I could take this site.
The reality is like I've said I can not manipulate or coerce anyone into doing something they do not want to do. I explained to this acquaintance that boundaries are in place to keep whatever friendship, acquaintance status healthy between us. I had already know that I had no significant position in his life to lose and whatever I say to him could be construed as being obtrusive. Really, I nothing to lose, so why then I insist on boundaries you may ask. Well, it goes back to my being full of my self or selfulness. In other words, I had to trust that my decision to end our brief sessions of being acquainted with each other.
For me, it was a win, win situation. Firstly, he had no interest in me romantically; maybe, academically. Yet, from all my investigative probing, I realized whatever I did was already done. There were many indigenous people before me who tried to tempt him to return to Canada. Like I stated, just like in ceremony, we can not force a person to participate in an activity they don't want to attend or visit. It just goes against everything I learnt to establish for myself. As is the case in writing this blog. I can not force girls to report this plastic medicine man to the police, nor can I promise any of his victims I'll be in the court room with them. Everything in life must be done freely by the individuals choice.
So then, what does this act of free will have to do with this blog site. Well, everything in a way. As indigenous people we've basically taken on a struggle that existed before we were born. For indigenous women, its been being devalued as human beings. For our race, its been systematic targeted as savages. For indigenous women, being stereotyped as being unclean, salacious, unfit, promiscuous and just out and out undesirable. As I've researched for positive imagines about indigenous women within Canadian government archives, I've only read how indigenous women were used.
It's made me realize that I can not change history, nor can I change the nature of some of our indigenous men's hearts. As my female indigenous friend would say. "So many our men have become successful as a badge of Honor at what a good little Indian boy I've become, without every having to deal with their own childhood trauma." It is for some strange reason, we as indigenous women took it upon ourselves to heal from our own childhood trauma. As much as we lead the way, we as indigenous women can not force our indigenous brother to follow. Just as I can not change this indigenous brother of mine whom I took in as a friend years ago, I can not coerce.
I did put subtle hints about how difficult it is for a human being to change their behavior after a certain age. I mean, after all, if this indigenous man has never taken out or been with an indigenous woman, what makes him think he could try taking one out now. Logic would state that the indigenous woman would want to be with any man who finds her attractive sexually. I mean there's got to be that certain arousal point in any sort of beginning. My friend warned me about his stubbornness. She knows him better than me or for that matter every care to know him.
My ending any type of acquaintance process into a friendship process stopped. All I had to do was tell him he needed to move back to Canada. All I needed to do was tell him he didn't respect my boundaries. I wanted him to know that as an indigenous woman I didn't like being treated like an object. Something he'd objectified his entire life. I knew who he was and back so many years ago and I knew what he'd become was only what he had created for himself. I love being indigenous. I love our indigenous even if they are plastic medicine men. There is something to be said about being a phoenix rising from the ashes. My blog may warn others about predators; however, there is a beauty in how we as indigenous people thrive. I can not speak on this acquaintance nor his action to be so detached from his culture or his people. Like I've said its not for me to coerce him.
I don't pit him either, because he's living a pretty comfortable life. He doesn't have to worry about anyone but himself and isn't that selffullness is all about bein full of ones self? Yes, to some extent; however, there is a sense of freedom I have knowing I made the right decision to eliminate such a negative person in my life. Especially when I've chosen to live and breath indigenousness.
I am a firm believer in such thoughts. I feel better when I am not watched or have expectations placed on me to perform. So, I try to keep myself from interfering with another person's life. So, here goes my story.
A few weeks ago, just out of curiosity, I had a friend link me to another person. This person was friends with my friend and I didn't mind since at one point in my life I knew this individual. I was curious. My friend and I, we had known each other about the same time as this new found acquaintance of ours. So, she linked me up and he after much thought reconnected with me. I had linked up with many others over the years and thought what will it hurt to see how his life had turned out.
Well, before I continue, let me say that prior to texting him I had already formed an opinion of him. I really didn't want him to think that I was interfering in his life by any means. And, for lack of a better understanding I thought it wouldn't hurt me to fully disclose my life's story to him. After all he's off on the other side of the world and he's living his life the best that he can. So, you may ask what does this have to do with interfering with or manipulating someone into do something they don't want to do.
Well, it takes a bit of logic. I had already known from our mutual friend that he had lead quite a full life of success. He had left the country and from my understanding was sad and lonely; however, he was too suborn to admit it. He was too suborn to realize he isolated himself. So what does this have to do with me. Well, you see, I had nothing to lose. I could say what I wanted to say to him and quite frankly I did. As his life, from my point of view, just didn't seem connected. Well, I mean, you had to have known him when I first met him. But, enough said. Here's the thing.
I'd already known that many people had tried to convince him to move back to Canada. There is basically nothing here for him; however, my belief is and was, that if you are an educated indigenous person you need to pay back to your community. That's just me, much in how I use this blog site to give back to my community and my indigenous community as a whole. My life experience does mean something to someone out there. I know it's something I thought every indigenous person believes in and I can admit I was wrong. He got the best of me; however, in retrospect, I had nothing to lose.
I am just putting it out there as I know he reads my blog. This blog in particular is a part of my artist in residency project. I am revamping and rearranging the content of this blogger and copying items into other sites. Now, don't get me wrong. I did appear to his generosity. After all he did work for Justice Canada at one point in his life and I thought since this topic is about indigenous girls and indigenous women that he's have some input into the direction I could take this site.
The reality is like I've said I can not manipulate or coerce anyone into doing something they do not want to do. I explained to this acquaintance that boundaries are in place to keep whatever friendship, acquaintance status healthy between us. I had already know that I had no significant position in his life to lose and whatever I say to him could be construed as being obtrusive. Really, I nothing to lose, so why then I insist on boundaries you may ask. Well, it goes back to my being full of my self or selfulness. In other words, I had to trust that my decision to end our brief sessions of being acquainted with each other.
For me, it was a win, win situation. Firstly, he had no interest in me romantically; maybe, academically. Yet, from all my investigative probing, I realized whatever I did was already done. There were many indigenous people before me who tried to tempt him to return to Canada. Like I stated, just like in ceremony, we can not force a person to participate in an activity they don't want to attend or visit. It just goes against everything I learnt to establish for myself. As is the case in writing this blog. I can not force girls to report this plastic medicine man to the police, nor can I promise any of his victims I'll be in the court room with them. Everything in life must be done freely by the individuals choice.
So then, what does this act of free will have to do with this blog site. Well, everything in a way. As indigenous people we've basically taken on a struggle that existed before we were born. For indigenous women, its been being devalued as human beings. For our race, its been systematic targeted as savages. For indigenous women, being stereotyped as being unclean, salacious, unfit, promiscuous and just out and out undesirable. As I've researched for positive imagines about indigenous women within Canadian government archives, I've only read how indigenous women were used.
It's made me realize that I can not change history, nor can I change the nature of some of our indigenous men's hearts. As my female indigenous friend would say. "So many our men have become successful as a badge of Honor at what a good little Indian boy I've become, without every having to deal with their own childhood trauma." It is for some strange reason, we as indigenous women took it upon ourselves to heal from our own childhood trauma. As much as we lead the way, we as indigenous women can not force our indigenous brother to follow. Just as I can not change this indigenous brother of mine whom I took in as a friend years ago, I can not coerce.
I did put subtle hints about how difficult it is for a human being to change their behavior after a certain age. I mean, after all, if this indigenous man has never taken out or been with an indigenous woman, what makes him think he could try taking one out now. Logic would state that the indigenous woman would want to be with any man who finds her attractive sexually. I mean there's got to be that certain arousal point in any sort of beginning. My friend warned me about his stubbornness. She knows him better than me or for that matter every care to know him.
My ending any type of acquaintance process into a friendship process stopped. All I had to do was tell him he needed to move back to Canada. All I needed to do was tell him he didn't respect my boundaries. I wanted him to know that as an indigenous woman I didn't like being treated like an object. Something he'd objectified his entire life. I knew who he was and back so many years ago and I knew what he'd become was only what he had created for himself. I love being indigenous. I love our indigenous even if they are plastic medicine men. There is something to be said about being a phoenix rising from the ashes. My blog may warn others about predators; however, there is a beauty in how we as indigenous people thrive. I can not speak on this acquaintance nor his action to be so detached from his culture or his people. Like I've said its not for me to coerce him.
I don't pit him either, because he's living a pretty comfortable life. He doesn't have to worry about anyone but himself and isn't that selffullness is all about bein full of ones self? Yes, to some extent; however, there is a sense of freedom I have knowing I made the right decision to eliminate such a negative person in my life. Especially when I've chosen to live and breath indigenousness.
No comments:
Post a Comment