That's what the title of my blog is and for the longest time, I wonder if this was an appropriate title. As I've done my research on the matter of how society in general treats indigenous girls and indigenous women, I've also realized to that the side effects are seen within our indigenous men. I had four brothers. Each with their having their own set of fault like we all do; however, each coped with them differently.
About a week ago, I was talking with an indigenous lady who works in the hospitality industry. We got into a discuss about attitudes indigenous men have over us indigenous women. As you see for decades it was fine for an indigenous man to marry a non-indigenous woman whilst his sister was discriminated against if she were to marry a non-indigenous man. Yes! This was the plan of the formal document called the "Indian Act." It gave way to so many negative attitudes towards indigenous women that we as indigenous women are writing about its effects on us. I mean literally writing a thesis.
I'm digesting somewhat cause this is old news for some and yet for some of my readers the silencing or the attempts to "tame" our indigenous female sexuality as gone on with a culture of silence towards sexual assaults. In recent days I've read some very humbling comments from young indigenous men who apology for not saying anything knowing that someone was being silenced. We see it all the time and I think for some indigenous men who work with indigenous single moms. They get tired of their stories of abuse and barriers.
I sometimes think that the more and more women talk about their lives that harder it is for our indigenous men to cope. Sometimes I get the feeling that they just want to burying everything. Yet, as I've mentioned, it's we as indigenous women who reveal our personality disorders more. I believe its because as indigenous women who are moms, its a way of surviving. It's not to say that its a bad thing, it just means that for some indigenous women rather than talking they continue to remain silent.
As for the men, I find that they find themselves feeling guilty for not supporting their sisters. Or, that the support they give their sisters is all that they can do because their wives have greater emotional problems. So, what does this mean for the indigenous man. Well, from what my friend told me. She see indigenous men whom she's known throughout her life change. She said that they come to her hotel in fancy cars with their non-indigenous woman as if she's a prize to behold. All the while she is smiling he has an indigenous woman on the side as his mistress.
Another female friend says to me that through her years working along side indigenous men she's seen them become successful yet very lonely men. She says that they are missing something. She believes its a childhood trauma that has gone on unresolved. And, rightfully so, as indigenous women we can not afford to hide our trauma because our children are depending on us to get it right. In fact, our whole society is depending on us to get it right. Then, why are we losing so many of our sisters to family violence or just violence in a time of peace is an unanswered question.
I will be interviewing three indigenous women who all have a place within my home community. They have a direct connection to the very heart and soul of our community. I hope that within these interviews you will get a sense of purpose that each one of these ladies has. I am very fortunate to know the matriarch of their family and will start of with her explaining the "woman's tall feather hat."
From this I will establish a YouTube link to my account where I will post these interview along with a "woman's song." I feel that its important to focus on the positive things we as indigenous women do for our communities. For too long our indigenous men, not all have played the "plastic medicine man" role. This trend needs to stop by first identifying what the abuse is that these men are practicing.
It's difficult because as human beings we tend to walk into danger rather than listen to our own minds with thoughts telling us there is danger.
About a week ago, I was talking with an indigenous lady who works in the hospitality industry. We got into a discuss about attitudes indigenous men have over us indigenous women. As you see for decades it was fine for an indigenous man to marry a non-indigenous woman whilst his sister was discriminated against if she were to marry a non-indigenous man. Yes! This was the plan of the formal document called the "Indian Act." It gave way to so many negative attitudes towards indigenous women that we as indigenous women are writing about its effects on us. I mean literally writing a thesis.
I'm digesting somewhat cause this is old news for some and yet for some of my readers the silencing or the attempts to "tame" our indigenous female sexuality as gone on with a culture of silence towards sexual assaults. In recent days I've read some very humbling comments from young indigenous men who apology for not saying anything knowing that someone was being silenced. We see it all the time and I think for some indigenous men who work with indigenous single moms. They get tired of their stories of abuse and barriers.
I sometimes think that the more and more women talk about their lives that harder it is for our indigenous men to cope. Sometimes I get the feeling that they just want to burying everything. Yet, as I've mentioned, it's we as indigenous women who reveal our personality disorders more. I believe its because as indigenous women who are moms, its a way of surviving. It's not to say that its a bad thing, it just means that for some indigenous women rather than talking they continue to remain silent.
As for the men, I find that they find themselves feeling guilty for not supporting their sisters. Or, that the support they give their sisters is all that they can do because their wives have greater emotional problems. So, what does this mean for the indigenous man. Well, from what my friend told me. She see indigenous men whom she's known throughout her life change. She said that they come to her hotel in fancy cars with their non-indigenous woman as if she's a prize to behold. All the while she is smiling he has an indigenous woman on the side as his mistress.
Another female friend says to me that through her years working along side indigenous men she's seen them become successful yet very lonely men. She says that they are missing something. She believes its a childhood trauma that has gone on unresolved. And, rightfully so, as indigenous women we can not afford to hide our trauma because our children are depending on us to get it right. In fact, our whole society is depending on us to get it right. Then, why are we losing so many of our sisters to family violence or just violence in a time of peace is an unanswered question.
I will be interviewing three indigenous women who all have a place within my home community. They have a direct connection to the very heart and soul of our community. I hope that within these interviews you will get a sense of purpose that each one of these ladies has. I am very fortunate to know the matriarch of their family and will start of with her explaining the "woman's tall feather hat."
From this I will establish a YouTube link to my account where I will post these interview along with a "woman's song." I feel that its important to focus on the positive things we as indigenous women do for our communities. For too long our indigenous men, not all have played the "plastic medicine man" role. This trend needs to stop by first identifying what the abuse is that these men are practicing.
It's difficult because as human beings we tend to walk into danger rather than listen to our own minds with thoughts telling us there is danger.
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