This blog is like a psychology paper

Final outline … DONE

The order in which the information is presented should follow this structure:

1. Introduction - A brief introduction into who you are, what the purpose of the blog/podcast is, what is your relationship with the subject matter (without getting into specific details) e.g., My name is Marina Crane doc

2. Describe in detail how you first got involved with this subject and the reasons why you got involved.   (combination of Julie 2 and Limerance post)

3. Broader analysis of the systemic issues that show up in the case (Marina's Podcast) 

…It looks like everything’s coming along for a zoom meeting. Sometimes I don’t feel my age, and other times I think that I am really old.

I’ve noticed a difference in how people think. I mean people that I’ve known this past decade. We all grow old and our poor brains age as well. I’m just hoping I can get this blog finished and a video on zoom with some interaction with other people.

Take today for example, when I’m looking at dates and times of when family members have passed away. I really feel old.

I just got off the phone with my aunt. I remember when I was five years old holding onto her hand. Heard my uncle had just gotten married. Now I call my aunt. I tell her I’m feeling lonely and alone. And she says I do too And rightfully so she was married to my uncle for so many decades. I love the idea that I can call her up that we can talk tonight. She said to me. She said sometimes I cry and I cry she says, but what can I do? 

I joke around with my nieces and nephews, and I say to them why did you grow up? The inside joke was don’t grow up. The reasoning behind that was if they grew up then that means I’m getting older.

My late mother and I used to talk about death and dying. She would talk about her grandmother, and then she talked about being afraid to die.

I know this sounds depressing and I don’t mean to make you feel depressed. It’s just sometimes it’s like Wednesday the middle of the week and you’re getting over that hump. Well there are times like this when I feel like I’ve got this to do and I’ve got that to do but yet do I even want to do anything.

When Ronald Reagan became president at 73 I would tell people that look at the experience he brings. Now you look at Biden and he’s even older than Ronald Reagan.

I had a classmate whose grandmother was 85 years old and publishing her third book on calculus. So enough of my feeling isolated, depressed alone, and trying to stress myself out because it’s not working. It’s just a matter of getting this blog format done which I have just Outlined. 

It’ll be exciting to get it done. There will be some sort of statement as I don’t wish to be bombarded with questions and any negative comments. It’s for this reason that I’m changing all the names to pseudo names.

Keep in mind though I don’t know if people really want to do that type of research to actually know the people that I’m writing about.

In any case, I’m just very grateful for all the people who’ve supported me in these past six months. I feel like I’m a lot wiser, calmer, and less cynical. As my late father would say as he’s talking to my late mother in the kitchen. He basically commented saying, it ain’t over til it’s over. 

And rightfully so when my energy leaves this plane of existence, whatever connection I had will cease, and the living organism that I was involved in, will go on without me. I’m just grateful that I’ve been able to participate in this spiritual journey called life.