Be careful of what you wish for::::::::: as it may come true

I’ve heard that saying throughout my life & ive wondered about it too. 

A cousin said sometimes people need to be scared into being humbled. Creator has ways of healing & humbling for those who disbelieve. 

Decades ago a young man wished for the life he received; however, it came at a price. I really hadn’t thought about him for decades until he made contact. Upon so doing he reveals the ego within him that forced him forward. 

I say, forced him forward by implying any movement forward is done in a kind & gentle manner. His wishes came true at a huge price. The price was his happiness & peace of mind. We’ve all met fellow students who’ve thrived to excel at everything to prove they are the best. He had to prove his point all the time. It didn’t matter if he offended someone as he earned his position. 

Yes, as a high school student this guy started creating his spider web. Dreams were caught inside. Dreams of being married to me, dreams of being accepted by his peers & mostly those he grew up with but he lost all that through his arrogance. As one of his peers, we all had hope for him not knowing what decades of hate produced 

Most of us have lived happy lives. Most of us have kept in touch in a positive manner; however, this guy abandoned everything. He’s constantly praising himself. Constantly stressing himself & creating false images of himself. He just really insecure about everything. 

I had thought helps by him would make him happy not knowing, for me, that his unhappiness happened decades ago. As for his age today, he can not undo all those he’s hurt. He’s hurt them at the expense of his ego. I know we all have our egos to battle; however, I represent to him everything that was wrong with being Indigenous. 

Throughout his life he’s distanced his desires as something he dare not feel for fear of losing control and losing control by loving me. It really had nothing to do with me personally rather it was what he thought I represented for him, a wild unbridled Indigenous woman. So, throughout his life he only married white women and cheated on his white wives with other white women. 

As for indigenous women he’s play the CATFISH. Troubling and disturbing behavior that today he’s in denial of participating in feeding his loneliness and aloneness while being separated from his second wife. 

There’s more to this guy as he’s pul it to me, he’s damaged himself. He’s aware of it as so am I finally in complete awareness of the extent of his forcing himself forward throughout his life. For me, I call it self harm. We’ve all done some form of self harm with some mild to extreme. (Over eating, smoking) well you get my point. 

His self harm, he managed to damage his brain. And rather than be around me & others who knew him with full capacity he’s created a myth to coverup his disability. Yes, his ego is so great that he can not bare to be around us lowly indigenous friends. He’s indigenous himself dispite all the effort he’s put into defending his ego. 

Imagine if you must, decades of stroking his own ego & decades of being in denial of his own personality disorder. Cause he’s gone off the deep edge by hurting everyone he’s grown up with as if we are incapable of comprehending his abstract thoughts. 

As for me, I’m not nor have I ever been bright or a genius. I’m not perfect nor are the people around me; however, all that I’ve read about what he’s written made me want to write this post. I’m Anonymous to most people who read this blog so I don’t go out of my way to brag about my accomplishments. 

I know Garry wished for all that he’s bragged about. I’m not too naïve to think all his relationships he was addicted to them rather than actually loving his wives. I know this to be real as I’ve seen it within my own family and extended families. We are all not perfect. Yet, for me and I believe those who understand & value the trust created in any relationship as sacred. 

There is a reason for the saying be careful for what you wish for as it may come true. And yes, Garry all that you’ve wished for as come true. You just didn’t wish to grow old around your siblings or the community that raised you. You’ve never seen them as source of healing for yourself. We’ve all been effected by racism in this world. It’s how we choose to share the knowledge we’ve learned along this way with our youth. 

Garry, you’ve meant a lot to so many people. Yet, you have to see it yourself as I can not nor is it my purpose here. I can not nor do I want imagine me the anger & hatred you carry. Love yourself before you can truly love another. I know your pride will not allow you to answer me nor do I expect it. I’m just putting this out into the universe for prosperity. As some day maybe a young girl or young boy will read this and really think about what they’ll wish for in their future. 

The only regret I have is being caught up in your anger and rage. Regret trying to understand what made you this way & then I realized. This is your story. You’ve had decades to write & rewrite it. I hope it has a happy ending as your siblings love you so deeply. All my best with the rest of your never ending story and thank you for giving me a small glimpse.