Blog Archive

Tuesday 21 August 2018

Finishing a project 

"I wonder about about my life 

Waited then one day forgiveness 

For me boundaries were built 

You living with hate and revenge 

All cease to exist running away

These raging feeling flow deep

Decades flew by evolving

Alone Crying for peace"


Dear Guy,

I know your probably healing your relationship with your wife. I knew you were not finished with your marriage. As I had said: "your married.." besides, your skeptical about people’s psychic abilities, including your own. 

I’ve reflected, I tend to do this with people, generally people are like my own art process. I take a bite and I don’t let go until I see the finished product. 

Well as you’ve guessed it. I’ve seen a finished project. I’m very grateful As you brought back my childhood self that I had forgotten. I had forgotten the strong wild child who roamed freely. I forgotten how to be vulnerable. As much as you saw me being able to talk about my own healing process, as you’ve said by me I’d made it sound so simple and easy. 

I had forgotten the courage within me. I had forgotten how to let go of things I could no longer control. Trying to control what people thought of me, me a rape victim. For these things I’m grateful for your own healing process. A process that I must respected as its your own journey and my own healing will probably go onto my next life. 

I wanted to help you see that hatred and revenge is best served with forgiveness. Yet, it took me a lifetime and your energy for me to see what I had done. 

There’s so much I’ve seen about you that it does me no good to write about it as you’ve said "you’ve done it to yourself.." I forgotten how cruel family can be. I forgotten how cruel I could be. 

Whatever hate, anger or revenge or love I had for you was based on my own trauma or mixed memories. People generally say they’d never want to relive being a teenager.

I thought I had some unresolved issues with you; however, in hindsight, I don’t. There’s nothing that can compare to the courage it took me to move home. 

For years I did care about what people thought about me and for years I couldn’t understand why nor could I ever see the end of me recycling my own story over and over again. 

I wondered what made me telling my story to you any less different. And, it would have been no different if you hadn’t been so honest and intimate with me. You forced me to look at what made me so courageous. I had to revisit why I did what I did. I know you said you couldn’t get your head around it cause I couldn’t; however, I didn’t see what others saw in me. Mainly cause I was afraid to let go of my own story. I held onto it for so long as it served a purpose or so I thought. 

You must understand being guided to deal with my own issues also meant letting go of other people’s egos and my expectations of them. The things I do or did to help people takes me into my own personal inner spaces. These spaces can not be cluttered with my own negativity. My own people depend on me. Creator guides me through spirit. 

Just as I’ve been guided to follow my heart. 

I met with June a month ago. I’ve talked with Marylin. I’ve reconnected with Rick. I’m Facebook friends with Dale. I may reconnect with Arnie once he gets back from visiting his family in Europe. 

In closing, everyday I miss someone or I miss something. You did sense how I felt and you commented that you couldn’t believe someone felt so deeply for you. I’ve tried explaining my intuitiveness. I’ll repeat: "besides, your skeptical about people’s psychic abilities, including your own." 

When people come to me I hope some feel in some way in that someone like me could feels so deeply for them. In closing, I’d like you to think with an open mind and heart in that we are all gifted spiritual creatures. Yes, we are all related in this way. "Wopida Mitakuyepi Oyasin"🙏🏽

Hapan emakiyapi ye 








No comments: