Get involved with Child Welfare issues by trying to get our indigenous children back home. With all this self-government propaganda about truth and reconciliation, I wonder. I was surfing via Facebook and came across a LIVE feed. It was a call to action. I was interesting in coming back and reviewing it one more time and it vanished.
Really? With so much talk about reconciling our difference, I don't see any effort to get our children back from being stolen again. It's far too easy to blame indigenous women. I get it. For hundreds of years, it's let starve out the savages by first killing off their women so they don't breed. Then, once their children are born they try to find another strategy kill off the savage, so they round up the children.
My late uncle would say that the 'white man' created this problem so let him solve it. Well, as he or she is trying to solve the problem, they got politician, the law givers plotting against it. Really! Think about it. 150,000 children in the system today here in Canada. There has to be some void in space that is gasping for air. I believe this void is located in the hearts and minds of the indigenous women who are trying desperately trying to get their children back home.
It's one thing, to have a truth and reconciliation, attempted to ease the hearts and minds of our indigenous women; however, our children are still not home. There is a call out there for action. My late father would say that actions speak louder than words. Well, it apparent that when one social activist tries to voice their opinion they are shut down or pushed off into cyberspace. ,
As for me, I could get upset and all that; however, that's not going to change anything or anyone's opinion. I am in a constant state of flux. Well, just recently, I've thought about a lot of things I've written here within these very pages in cyberspace not realizing the advice I've given isn't as easy as I thought. Really, if I am spouting off on social injustice and advocating for social change then should I also be looking within myself. Looking into my own behavior, for how else is one going to change if we can not find the courage within ourselves to admit we were wrong.
Healthy boundaries isn't just a saying, it's an action. It's an action that doesn't depend on whether someone else approves of our own decisions. We, ourselves, must have the capacity to move forward with the decision we make about other people. We can not live in a state of constant fear. Or in a state of wanting approval or a need to find a purpose. It's easier to ask someone if they need something done for them than to state what it is that you want. In my case, being the oldest girl, I was in a constant need of caring for others. And, I think to this day people still try to take advantage of me.
This being said, there are some things in life that we are totally not prepared to handle. I mean, it eventually will be manageable; however, at the time of stress or relapse everything will seem to implode. The think is to be aware of what is happening to your emotions. Evaluate what people said or have said and decide if you can trust someone.
It may seem easy to read or to write such a strategy; however, it's another to think of the consequences. Here's a simple example, a few years ago I befriend a female indigenous female friend on Facebook. She appears to be so grounded and so spiritual that they seemed like there was nothing the matter with her personality. Mind you, I don't go around analyzing people's mental state as I'm not qualified; however, I do seek out like minded people in hopes of getting some form of validation to what it is I am doing or planning.
We are all human beings after all and we are all social creatures of habit. Well, apparently, there's also a state of mind that we get into, at least some of us common average everyday folk do. We tend to remember a story, or a trauma someone told us about themselves, or we tend to recovery memory from a certain smell as well. Sometimes, as the years go by we tend forget faces and sometimes people. Well, this indigenous woman, I had totally forgotten I met her decades ago. Really, I'll never admit to her that I forgot who she was back so many decades ago, because has admitted to remembering me either.
So, this being the case, we've talked. She's admitted that we both isolated ourselves away from our home communities. She lives in a northern city and I live on the outskirts of a southern city. We have quite a few difference and we both are feminists. She's a know it all of whose who in indigenous politics and for me, I lived in the USA and was totally detached from anything or everything that was going on here in Alberta, or for Canada in that manner. I mean, really Facebook and other social media norms didn't exist.
Okay, getting back to this problem with memory, it isn't really a problem. Some of us, have selective memory. So, when we started talking about my blog and other issues with regards to human trafficking and personality disorders, we hit it off. We started talking and low and behold I realized we knew that same people decades ago. So, last month, out of the blue I mentioned all the individuals I had met since moving back to Canada. I told her that some of these men just didn't want to talk to me as if I were some sort of social leper. I mentioned names to her and she said gave me the low down of information pertaining to each one. She then said she could link me up with one of old acquaintances. As I had told her I had asked numerous people about certain individuals and nobody seemed to know anything about these people.
I really appreciated what she was doing for me as I really wanted to know how their lives were as when we all met we were all just so young. Well, this where the morale of this lesson is going. I've trusted or tried to trust people about boundaries. I know throughout my blog I've mentioned over and over again about boundaries; however, I also wonder why people were not taking my advice. Especially when it come to a criminal or a deviant who is hurting young girls. Well, it just very simple. Oh so I thought. It isn't that simple. I should know. I've had one reader of this blog actual track me down.
She came to visit one of the girls I've written about, her mom, she came to visit. It wasn't just a visit to visit it was also a visit to check me out. She was told by this plastic medicine man and I was a cougar. So, she texted me weeks after spotting in a crowd in my community function and said she was wrong. I told her if she thought I was chasing this young man then why didn't talk to my family. Well, like I said this whole issue of trust is so damn critical.
I just assumed that because I've warned girls and women about this plastic medicine man that others also cared about others. What I mean is that this acquaintance who put in touch with the fellow I had talked to in decades wasn't up front with me, or maybe I should say I wasn't prepared to look at my relationship with two former acquaintance. Yes, time does pass and we all do grow older.
It's just that for some of us, we get stuck in a rut. It's an emotional rut. Yes, I said it. I found myself I a rut. Here is was calling me. I told her what I thought about renewing old acquaintances with this man. I told her I didn't think it was possible then she says to me "she a predator!"
Your see when I write a blog about a predator. I know my subject matter. As I've researched this predator (plastic medicine man) and through many emails and police reports, he's definitely someone the police are interested in; however, when she started to describe this fellow she linked me to as a predator. I wondered what slippery slope am I getting involved with here.
Here was the dilemma. Just as I knew the record of the plastic medicine man, she seemed to know this acquaintance of ours; however, she was only using her past contact with him as her source. When she thought I had totally blocked him from my feeds she felt she could now disclose that he was a predator. Yet, for me, because of the nature of the work I do. I wondered what is happening here. She doesn't know him like how I thought she knew him. I knew she went to an Indian Residential School and I knew she was well accomplished yet there was something missing. Let was as soon as I express my concerns about this acquaintance she sounded relieved. I felt like I had just been excepted into the "Old Girls Club."
You see, apart of establishing healthy boundaries, is to put down boundaries whether it hurts another persons feelings knowing that one isn't taking their advice or opinion of another human being. I've felt that in writing my blog, I've been asked to do certain things, I will not. I just write about proven facts or statements that are bring processed in the courts system. Whether people wish to think evil of me for talking about this plastic medicine man, I know that there are women out there who just do not have healthy boundaries. It's these women that I hope are not going on some "witch hunt" for this plastic medicine man as this isn't nor was ever the intend to my blog. I've only tried to warn my readers about his deviant behavior.
it really took me back that intergenerational trauma or lateral violence towards an innocent guy was being dealt this hand by me and her. I knew that if I reconnected with him she wouldn't like it; however, I did and have. The boundary issue wasn't with him, the old acquaintance rather the boundary issue was with the outstanding indigenous woman who linked us up in the first place. I didn't realize despite her collaborating that she does have intimate male friends. This whole interaction with these two individuals really revealed a lot about myself. I knew I have a very intimate friendship with a male friend. We have boundaries and he's married.
His wife has no need to distrust me or him. In fact, his children with her are also friends of mine. I have never met her and that's fine. Just knowing we are friends is all that matters. I know this is a very unique situation and that not all indigenous women or women in that matter have a non-sexual intimate male friend. I do! This made all the difference in the world when reconnected with this old acquaintance. I know who he is and there's not competition or strutting around as who is the better human being. I am just so sorry that I didn't realize it was my issue and not his. Lesson learned and onward I move.
As for my female indigenous friend, I truly believe there is an opportunity for indigenous women to have a healthy sexuality. I've just met so many accomplished indigenous women who are not happy. It's important to have this male energy in our lives. We don't need to be afraid of it.
Really? With so much talk about reconciling our difference, I don't see any effort to get our children back from being stolen again. It's far too easy to blame indigenous women. I get it. For hundreds of years, it's let starve out the savages by first killing off their women so they don't breed. Then, once their children are born they try to find another strategy kill off the savage, so they round up the children.
My late uncle would say that the 'white man' created this problem so let him solve it. Well, as he or she is trying to solve the problem, they got politician, the law givers plotting against it. Really! Think about it. 150,000 children in the system today here in Canada. There has to be some void in space that is gasping for air. I believe this void is located in the hearts and minds of the indigenous women who are trying desperately trying to get their children back home.
It's one thing, to have a truth and reconciliation, attempted to ease the hearts and minds of our indigenous women; however, our children are still not home. There is a call out there for action. My late father would say that actions speak louder than words. Well, it apparent that when one social activist tries to voice their opinion they are shut down or pushed off into cyberspace. ,
As for me, I could get upset and all that; however, that's not going to change anything or anyone's opinion. I am in a constant state of flux. Well, just recently, I've thought about a lot of things I've written here within these very pages in cyberspace not realizing the advice I've given isn't as easy as I thought. Really, if I am spouting off on social injustice and advocating for social change then should I also be looking within myself. Looking into my own behavior, for how else is one going to change if we can not find the courage within ourselves to admit we were wrong.
Healthy boundaries isn't just a saying, it's an action. It's an action that doesn't depend on whether someone else approves of our own decisions. We, ourselves, must have the capacity to move forward with the decision we make about other people. We can not live in a state of constant fear. Or in a state of wanting approval or a need to find a purpose. It's easier to ask someone if they need something done for them than to state what it is that you want. In my case, being the oldest girl, I was in a constant need of caring for others. And, I think to this day people still try to take advantage of me.
This being said, there are some things in life that we are totally not prepared to handle. I mean, it eventually will be manageable; however, at the time of stress or relapse everything will seem to implode. The think is to be aware of what is happening to your emotions. Evaluate what people said or have said and decide if you can trust someone.
It may seem easy to read or to write such a strategy; however, it's another to think of the consequences. Here's a simple example, a few years ago I befriend a female indigenous female friend on Facebook. She appears to be so grounded and so spiritual that they seemed like there was nothing the matter with her personality. Mind you, I don't go around analyzing people's mental state as I'm not qualified; however, I do seek out like minded people in hopes of getting some form of validation to what it is I am doing or planning.
We are all human beings after all and we are all social creatures of habit. Well, apparently, there's also a state of mind that we get into, at least some of us common average everyday folk do. We tend to remember a story, or a trauma someone told us about themselves, or we tend to recovery memory from a certain smell as well. Sometimes, as the years go by we tend forget faces and sometimes people. Well, this indigenous woman, I had totally forgotten I met her decades ago. Really, I'll never admit to her that I forgot who she was back so many decades ago, because has admitted to remembering me either.
So, this being the case, we've talked. She's admitted that we both isolated ourselves away from our home communities. She lives in a northern city and I live on the outskirts of a southern city. We have quite a few difference and we both are feminists. She's a know it all of whose who in indigenous politics and for me, I lived in the USA and was totally detached from anything or everything that was going on here in Alberta, or for Canada in that manner. I mean, really Facebook and other social media norms didn't exist.
Okay, getting back to this problem with memory, it isn't really a problem. Some of us, have selective memory. So, when we started talking about my blog and other issues with regards to human trafficking and personality disorders, we hit it off. We started talking and low and behold I realized we knew that same people decades ago. So, last month, out of the blue I mentioned all the individuals I had met since moving back to Canada. I told her that some of these men just didn't want to talk to me as if I were some sort of social leper. I mentioned names to her and she said gave me the low down of information pertaining to each one. She then said she could link me up with one of old acquaintances. As I had told her I had asked numerous people about certain individuals and nobody seemed to know anything about these people.
I really appreciated what she was doing for me as I really wanted to know how their lives were as when we all met we were all just so young. Well, this where the morale of this lesson is going. I've trusted or tried to trust people about boundaries. I know throughout my blog I've mentioned over and over again about boundaries; however, I also wonder why people were not taking my advice. Especially when it come to a criminal or a deviant who is hurting young girls. Well, it just very simple. Oh so I thought. It isn't that simple. I should know. I've had one reader of this blog actual track me down.
She came to visit one of the girls I've written about, her mom, she came to visit. It wasn't just a visit to visit it was also a visit to check me out. She was told by this plastic medicine man and I was a cougar. So, she texted me weeks after spotting in a crowd in my community function and said she was wrong. I told her if she thought I was chasing this young man then why didn't talk to my family. Well, like I said this whole issue of trust is so damn critical.
I just assumed that because I've warned girls and women about this plastic medicine man that others also cared about others. What I mean is that this acquaintance who put in touch with the fellow I had talked to in decades wasn't up front with me, or maybe I should say I wasn't prepared to look at my relationship with two former acquaintance. Yes, time does pass and we all do grow older.
It's just that for some of us, we get stuck in a rut. It's an emotional rut. Yes, I said it. I found myself I a rut. Here is was calling me. I told her what I thought about renewing old acquaintances with this man. I told her I didn't think it was possible then she says to me "she a predator!"
Your see when I write a blog about a predator. I know my subject matter. As I've researched this predator (plastic medicine man) and through many emails and police reports, he's definitely someone the police are interested in; however, when she started to describe this fellow she linked me to as a predator. I wondered what slippery slope am I getting involved with here.
Here was the dilemma. Just as I knew the record of the plastic medicine man, she seemed to know this acquaintance of ours; however, she was only using her past contact with him as her source. When she thought I had totally blocked him from my feeds she felt she could now disclose that he was a predator. Yet, for me, because of the nature of the work I do. I wondered what is happening here. She doesn't know him like how I thought she knew him. I knew she went to an Indian Residential School and I knew she was well accomplished yet there was something missing. Let was as soon as I express my concerns about this acquaintance she sounded relieved. I felt like I had just been excepted into the "Old Girls Club."
You see, apart of establishing healthy boundaries, is to put down boundaries whether it hurts another persons feelings knowing that one isn't taking their advice or opinion of another human being. I've felt that in writing my blog, I've been asked to do certain things, I will not. I just write about proven facts or statements that are bring processed in the courts system. Whether people wish to think evil of me for talking about this plastic medicine man, I know that there are women out there who just do not have healthy boundaries. It's these women that I hope are not going on some "witch hunt" for this plastic medicine man as this isn't nor was ever the intend to my blog. I've only tried to warn my readers about his deviant behavior.
it really took me back that intergenerational trauma or lateral violence towards an innocent guy was being dealt this hand by me and her. I knew that if I reconnected with him she wouldn't like it; however, I did and have. The boundary issue wasn't with him, the old acquaintance rather the boundary issue was with the outstanding indigenous woman who linked us up in the first place. I didn't realize despite her collaborating that she does have intimate male friends. This whole interaction with these two individuals really revealed a lot about myself. I knew I have a very intimate friendship with a male friend. We have boundaries and he's married.
His wife has no need to distrust me or him. In fact, his children with her are also friends of mine. I have never met her and that's fine. Just knowing we are friends is all that matters. I know this is a very unique situation and that not all indigenous women or women in that matter have a non-sexual intimate male friend. I do! This made all the difference in the world when reconnected with this old acquaintance. I know who he is and there's not competition or strutting around as who is the better human being. I am just so sorry that I didn't realize it was my issue and not his. Lesson learned and onward I move.
As for my female indigenous friend, I truly believe there is an opportunity for indigenous women to have a healthy sexuality. I've just met so many accomplished indigenous women who are not happy. It's important to have this male energy in our lives. We don't need to be afraid of it.
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